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p4 weekender may 7 1994 eh stux ion ssimw i i 5 s3 s ml increase workload of health cards next february health cards will be issued with pho tographs the announcement by the ministry of health this week is a welcome sign since health cards were introduced by the previous liberal government there have been accusations of fraudulent use cards have been issued to the deceased and at times duplicates have circulated the cards which provide access to the entire health care system have no identify ing features other than the bearers name there is no place for even a signature why such a flawed card was ever introduced is viewpoint paula crowell incomprehensible all the more reason why ministry officials should have their eyes and ears open to new ideas for the introduction of the latest edition of the health card if the ministry is prepared to spend 90 million over a threeyear period to introduce the card and a further 19 million each year for renewals it should carefully consider multiple uses for the card the card could also be used to track welfare fraud and to provide information about patient drug prescriptions and allergies it could provide users with an idea of what their health care costs yearly statements could be issued to provide a doublecheck patients could verify that services which were billed were actually offered that in itself would be an eyeopener for people who whine about the rising taxa tion rate what about using the card as a drivers licence too health minister ruth grier has already said the ministry intends to distribute health cards through ministry of transportation offices the technology exists to cre ate a multifaceted access card which maintains the pri vacy of individuals it should be used so that we dont have another 90 million revamp in four years time markham economist and sun stouffville tribune uxbridge tribune weekender edition a metrotand coiaminity newspaper patricia pappas publisher jo ann stevenswi editoiiihief paula crowell editor andrew mair editor debraweller director of advertising barry goodyear director of distribution vivian okeu business manager pamela nichols operations manager markham 2942200 sales 7987624 classi fied 2944331 stouffville 6402100 uxbridge 8529741 2948244 distribution and administration 9 heritage hd markham l3p 1m2 fax markham 2941538 stouffville 640- 5477 uxbridge 8524s5s the markham economist and sun stmiflville tri bune and uxbridge tribune published every wednesday and saturday is one of the metroland printing publishing and distributing group of subur ban newspapers which includes ajax pickering news advertiser barrie advance brampton guardian burlington post collingwood connection etobicoke guardian the liberal georgetown inde- pendentacton free press kingston this week lindsay this week milton canadian champion mississsuga news north york mirror oakvihc beaver orillia today oshawawhitby this week peterborough this week scarborough mirror the era banner contents not to be reproduced without written permission from the publisher j a lucite moose for a mantle is memorable ftffia sv mmmmhmm lhhhh adam by brian basset it was with mixed emotions that i received the news that aunt myrtle had passed away mixed because aunt myrtle was a sweet harmless old crone who had never in 83 years done an intentional nasty to another earthling on the other hand she was responsible for the ugliest pre sent i ever saw it was truly hideous a moose clumsily handcrafted from lucite standing on a chunk of paving stone intended to repre sent a rocky summit somewhere on the precambrian shield and aunt myrtle gave it to me as a wedding present which of course meant i couldnt have the horror melted down into a bowling ball or leave it out by the curb to await adoption by some passerby with even lousier taste than aunt myrtle no i had to keep the damned thing on the offchance that aunt myrtle might drop in and wonder why it wasnt standing over the fireplace no more hurrah aunt myrtle has gone to her reward and the mutant moose is about to just as soon as i can score a card board box big enough to hold it unwanted gifts did you ever wonder how much loot we waste on gifts we give to people who hate them those fluorescent ties all dads get at christmas and on fathers day the bottles of perfume you wouldnt use on a skunk- sprayed dog the plaid socks the hardcover books even the authors mother wouldnt read the fondue sets the lucite mooses well wonder no more i dont know how much we canucks throw away on such stuff but an economics professor at yale university has calculated that of the 40 billion yanks spend each year swapping presents back and forth somewhere between 4 billion and 10 billion is thrown away on stuff the recipi ent hates on sight a dead weight loss is how professor waldfogel describes it and its not just useless gifts when it comes to ethnic proto col some gifts are downright offensive it is at profoundly bad idea to- basic black gift wrap a black forest ham for an israeli or to give a miniskirt to an orthodox mus lim dont ever give cowboy boots to a hindu not if there made out of cowhide cows are sacred beasts in india some gift gaffes are less obvi ous you can insult a japanese businessman by offering him a souvenir letter opener symboli cally youre advising him to commit hara kiri and dont show up on a guatemalan doorstep with a fistful of white flowers in guatemala white flowers are for funerals its an altogether tricky busi ness giving gifts it reminds me of the story of phil silvers the american comedian who gained tv immortality as sergeant bilko silvers was a very wealthy man and reputed to be the man who has everything but he had a wealthier friend who was determined to buy sil vers a present that would wow him the friend invited silvers to spend a weekend at his mansion in beverley hills silvers showed up friday night at the wheel of a magnificent bur gundy rolls royce silver cloud my mechanics not busy this weekend said the host why dont you let him give your car a little tuneup silvers shrugged assent unknown to the comedi an his car was whisked away to a garage where a team of experts worked around the clock to install a builtin mahogany bar a hifi system a color televi sion and a vcr on sunday evening as silvers was preparing to depart his host had his renovated car brought around to the front you might want to check out your jalopy murmured the host just to see if it runs any better ah who cares replied sil vers tisdrily a rental