The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

p12 tribune may 13 1992 boys would be boys in 1938 by eleanor todd i a ow charlie take 1 i lt easv saicl i m i boys will be boys 1 you know he just wasnt thinking i had ducked and pas big hand had missed my ear and knocked my hat clean over to the back door good for ma i knew she was itch ing for a scrap with pa and wasnt particular about a reason so i retrieved my hat and just kept on going i sat down on the back stoop to mull things over while my folks had a good old setto over dinner pa was made about his ruined pen nib and the prospect of a puny potato crop and ma wasnt letting on yet what was bothering her but shed been building up to something for a couple of days and we were all going to fee a lot bet ter when she finally came out with it i licked my thumb and rubbed my new bottle cap it looked right at home on granddaddys old fedora that was one time being the youngest had paid off when granddaddy died both of my big brothers had wanted his hat so pa gave it to me to stop an argument now id started another by using his pen to pry out the cork i guess i knew it would ruin the nib all right i guess i just didnt think it mattered pa was upset and ma was upset but i was mad too everybody and his uncle was talking about the big joe louismax schmeling fight and how they were going to listen to it on the radio i wanted to hear that fight too but i was low man on the totem pole at our house our crystal set had only two pairs of earphones and both pa and my brother sam had dibs on those if only sam would get married and move out like young charlie did it would be pa and me listen ing together and id be in my glory well there wasnt much chance of that happening not even in time for the hockey season sam was seeing some girl over on the 4th concession and id heard young charlie teasing him about getting hitched soon but sam just said whats the use in buying a cow when you can get the milk for free i didnt know what he meant then but it sure sounded like my dream of me and pa and the earphones was still a long way off lordy it was hot on that back stoop the cement was going to fry my hide right through my overalls if i didnt move soon pa had calmed down some and i could hear ma telling him how shed run into the schoolteacher up at the store and how hed said he was interested in the big fight too he said hed been a fight fan ever since gentleman jim corbett knocked out john l sullivan in the 21st round in 1892 ma seemed to think that if the schoolteacher liked boxing it must be respectable she was telling pa that the schoolteacher said john l sullivan had been an evangelist before he died and went around preaching against the evils of strong drink i could see that she was leading up to another tirade over pas drinking habits so i got up and walked out to the front of the house it was a bit too soon yet but i looked up the hill anyway to see if joe fitchett had started out with his milk wagon there was noth ing moving the whole length of the road in front of our house not a dog or a squirrel or even a window curtain the coolest thing i could think of to do was to check my secret storehouse under the veran dah i had just about enough time before i walked down to my sister ferns house i wanted to work it so that id get there at about the same time as joe and his milk wagon i crawled under where the lattice work had rotted away and pulled the boards and potato sacks from the hole id dug next to the stone foundation of the house i had a tub full of sawdust in that hole and at the bottom of the tub i kept some broken chunks of ice from the icehouse at the hotel aunt mary liked me and shed let me go into the icehouse to cool off ill not have a whole passel of youngsters messing around in here gordie shed say but you come by your lonesome and youre welcome anytime im sure she knew i never left emptyhanded but i suppose i should have asked her if i could take those chunks of ice it never occurred to me that i was stealing just like i never thought of taking that cream as stealing all i thought about was how i was going to have the best time i ever had while pa and sam were listen ing to the big fight i was going to have as much whipped cream as i could eat i lifted out my two jars one held the milk id saved from dinner the day before and the other held the precious cream id spooned from the top of the milk bottle ma had given me a piece of her mind when she thought id helped myself to a glass without shaking the bottle today id have to try something different or shed give me more than a piece of her mind but i had it all worked out i felt around in the west sawdust my ice chunks were just about gone so id have to visit aunt mary too i put my two jars in a boot box and headed down the road for ferns place when i turned the comer i could see fern sitting on her doorstep and joes wagon already stopped in front of the house next door i hightailed it as fast as i could so id get there before fern went back into the house ill be happy to put your milk in the cellar for you fern sos you can go right up to millie vanhorn truth to tell i couldnt picture fern hurrying anywhere she was pregnant and already so big that ma thought it was disgraceful that she was still walking out every day to the post office why thank you gordie she beamed ill take your offer and off she went without so much as a backward glance it was so easy i almost felt guilty before i put ferns milk away i spooned out some of the cream and refilled her bottle from the jar of milk in my boot box i cut across the fields and pulled the same stunt at young charlies place i knew nobody would be home there because alma was helping out at mackenzies while they got ready for their auction then when i got to the hotel i hit the jackpot aunt mary was bak ing and had half a bottle of cream on the kitchen table i helped myself to a couple or three spoons ful while she went out to the bar room to tend to a customer there was now close to a cup of cream in my jar and i figured it would do so after i scrounged around in the sawdust for some ice i headed straight home with my treasure w when i finally went in to see what was cooking for supper pa and sam were home already and they all stopped talking and looked at me i thought the jig was up for sure and my heart skipped a beat it was no time to forget to wipe my feet and hang up my hat so i did ill just get a towel and go wash up ma i volunteered then i noticed that she looked like the cat that had swallowed the canary and pa had something close to a grin on his face go into the parlor first gordie said ma theres some thing you ought to see holy cow ma letting me into the parlor in my overalls had to be some kind of miracle i opened the door and went in with ma and pa and sam tripping all over them selves to come in right behind me aint it a beauty gordie and ma hurried past me to rub the hem of her apron oyer a brand new rogersmajestic radio deluxe model with short wave and police bands as well as standard and it stood almost as high as my still underdeveloped adams apple five dollars down and a dollar a week said pa no more hum bugs on saturday nights till we pay for this baby the potato crop must have start ed to look a lot better after ma got through with him i thought to myself darn near as much as a car added sam hed been hinting at pa for weeks to sell him our old mclaughlin and buy a new 38 sedan ma turned the knob just in time for the fanfare that introduced the 630 news you could hear it all over the parlor if you left the door open you could even hear it in the kitchen and i could almost make out what jim hunter had to say out in the woodshed while i scrubbed my hands and face the next day when pa came in for dinner ma was brim full of excitement shed been talking to the schoolteacher again and had invited him and his wife over to listen to the fight on our new radio we were owners of the first electric radio in the village and she didnt intend to keep it a secret she said that nettie jackson had offered to bake a batch of oatmeal cookies and the parsons wife would bring some lemonade and the two miss coopers had expressed an interest in joining us on this auspicious occasion but pa had some news of his own hed been talking to folks at the post office and the men hanging around the railway station and hed been inviting all and sundry to our house as well our parlor wasnt big enough for that crowd i could see that ma was getting ready to blow a gasket but pa headed her off by saying theyd move the radio out to the front verandah and it wouldnt matter if the entire village dropped by to lis ten while the brown bomber evened the score with the hun there wasnt a doubt in pas mind that joe louis could do it but ma wasnt so sure the school teacher had said that schmeling could take anything joe louis dished out what was more schmeling was the only man who had ever put joe flat on his back well pa wasnt about to let ma think that the school teacher was the only authority on boxing so he told her that when schmeling had won the heavyweight championship he was in such bad shape that he had to be crowned on his knees while ma was thinking that one over pa and sam carried the new radio outside it seemed like it was taking the whole afternoon to get that radio operational again and i was wor ried that id never get an opportu nity to retrieve my cream from under the verandah not that it mattered so much now that i was going to listen to the fight too but id gone to a lot of trouble to acquire that cream and it was a shame to let it spoil sam had to go clean to the blackburn farm to borrow an extension cord and pa sent me running to find an iron rod for the ground wire while he shinnied up the verandah post to attach the aerial ma kept running back and forth from the kitchen in her supervisory capacity i returned with the poker from the stove in the parlor and breathed a sigh of relief when pa let me drive it into the ground myself i was afraid that if he did it he might notice the rotting lattice work and get too curious about the size of the hole but pa had other things on his mind he decided that the recep tion might be better if he strung the aerial up higher so he got the ladder and ma held it for him while he fastened the aerial to the chimney and then stretched it across to the big maple mean while neighbors kept stopping to pass the time of day and offer advice and i was getting down right edgy about my cream i finally got my chance to move it while pa was putting the ladder away the phone rang two longs and a short for the jackson house and ma went inside to listen in i stashed my cream under the lilac bush behind the woodshed after that it was smooth sailing all the way i got a big bowl and the egg beater while everybody was out front waiting for the box ing match to begin the new radio was such a marvel that even the kids and dogs stayed close by so they wouldnt miss anything and i had the backyard all to myself i sugared my concoction and gob bled it fast because from the sound of the commotion on the verandah the fight must have started i hurried out along the north side of the house but all of a sudden i wasnt feeling so good and just before i reached the corner i up chucked whipped cream supper and my boots too if i wasnt mis taken i could see them there in the mess as soon as i had my wits about me i looked up to see if any body had noticed and there was the entire village peering from the verandah every eye on me and not a sound coming from the radio whats wrong i said folks started murmuring and averting their eyes not quite sure of the social niceties appropriate for a situation like this and one by one they began taking their leave ma was mortified it was all she could do too politely at her depart ing guests but i could see her get ting redder and redder pa was try ing to laugh it off like some kind of joke but he wasnt coaxing folks to stay surely my disgrace wasnt serious enough to spoil everybodys enjoyment of the biggest fight of the century whats wrong i repeated to joyce vanhorns dog he was the only one still looking at me joey heard me and turned around fights over he said joe louis knocked max schmeling out cold two minutes and four seconds into the first round and to think i wasted a whole afternoon scheming and finagling for that pa was saying to the schoolteacher i looked over at ma again she had me in her sights and was get ting ready to spit bullets as soon as the neighbors were out of ear shot i wasnt the only thing that had spoiled her chance to be queen for a day but i was the only thing she could lay her hands on i decided to make myself scarce now now lizzie i heard pa say as i crawled beneath the lilac bush boys will be boys you know hes learned his lesson ililj nvyr we have a winner eleanor todd of good wood has won the first- ever tribune fiction con test one of our judges said i know these people the language and voices are true a fine work eleanor wins a 400 gift certificate from storehouse travel in stouffville second prize went to vivienne gornall for her tale old jay and dirty bert she wins a din ner for two and third prize went to kent wideman of stouffville for miracle of fainting he wins tickets to canadas wonderland congratulations to all aaafceaaasaaoeita w a wwi c n jytmx jrttxxkt asasc