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p8 tribune september 4 1991 an argument for country living by kimberlee pearce a t first glance city life appears x tobe more upbeat fast- m paced and captivating than country living chic sophisticated city dwellers would scoff at the sug gestion that country bumpkins lead more happening lives than do they yeah right what could possibly go on in the country the men bale hay the women bake muffins and the kids clean stalls yessiree life in the bbondockssounds really fun my family held these expectations when we moved to a farm in good wood last spring read goodwood a town where the entire populace residesin rural route one where main st consists of but a gas sta tion and a general store where night out with the boys translates to haggling for semen straws at the local black angus auction need- less to say we were in for a pleasant surprise our new lifestyle began on day three when we received ah abrupt visit from a neighboring farmer the suave attractive blueeyed dan barkey who lives at toad hall who speaks in a drawl incoherent to urbanites all auctioneer and horsedealer savant known to hun dreds simply as farmer dan was here to speak to us so whey yall comin frum he asked whet are yuz plannin tuh doo with all this here fahmland my father revealed his plan to culti vate 20 acres of hay enough to feed the cows for the winter we had ordered two scottish highland cattle which were due to arrive from vancouver island at any time whet yuh caint doo thet this heres the best dam drazin pasture iri nawth americah ahu tell yuh whet later that week dan deliv ered 35 horses to our place the deal hes entitled to leave his ani mals to graze on our land in return he supplies our cows with food for the winter at seven in the morning on a hazy day early in july there was a knock on the door as our house is set back a quarter mile from the road it is unusuatfor us to have unexpected guests drop by my mother dressed in her unsightly apresshower garb of bathrobe anda towel took the call she was greeted by a strange bugeyed man who carried cham pagne and a picnic basket good mornings madam he chirped would you care to join me for a champagne breakfast taken aback my mother jesponded shrilly who the hell are you oh pardon me the insectlike gentleman replied im from air- bome i just landed in front of your house on the front lawn sat a giant jackolantern hot air balloon from which a spriteiy young couple eagerly beckoned my mother to indeed join them in their festivities hot air balloons it seems are cum- bersome awkward entities their landing while impossible to manoeuvre with any degree of accuracy is inevitable and this one had invariably landed in our yard at the time of morning when my par ents are rushing to get ready for work accordingly mum declined ork with us to site a new landfill the interim waste authority ltd iva an agency of the provincial government has been fomied to un dertake three concurrent site searches in the greater toronto area gta one in peel region one for metroyork regions and one in durham region public open houses were recently conducted jn each region to inform these communities about the search for new landfill sites now is the time for you to work with the iwa to assess what issues are important- to your community and to incorporate your concerns and criteria into the selection of the optimum landfill site for durham region to reach these goals public workshops have been planned in your area in order to receive vital background information prior to the workshops listed below please preregister re turn the coupon below or call the toll free number indicated workshops 1 tuesday september 1 7 630945 pm 2 thursday september 1 9 630945 pm 3 saturday september 21 845 am 345 pm yes i want to participate in finding a new landfill site i would like to register for the following workshops id 2d 3d d i would like more information put my name on your mailing list i would like to correspond with you in french d english i pour renselgnements en f rangeis composer 18006619294 name complete and mail coupon to ms karla livsey durham site search public information office 47 sheppard ave east po box 1850 station a willowdale ont m2n6m5 phone 18006619294 fax 4162294692 address postal code telephone interim waste authority limited office provlsotre dc selection dc llciix d elimination des dechets ucc j j r vfj i r 1 i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i h 1 1 i t i the insects kind offer and she and my father hastily bid the triad good eating and good morn and went to work leaving them to munch and sip at their leisure one cold bitter december evening my sister samantha was summoned from her bed by our afghan hound sundri whose urgent necessity was to answer the call of nature samantha let sundri out and waited patiently for her to pee and return that sundri exer cised the former right is undoubtful the latter negligible she began to bark at something in the yard and wouldnt respondto sams demands to get her tail end back into the house this instant the threat of being left out to die of exposure is one which sundri habit ually avoids at all costs however she continued to howl incessantly sam continued to stand in the doorway scantily clad in a camisole and bikini underwear and to holler at sundri but then she discovered the cause of sundri s concern and froze just feet away staring back at her from behind the pinetree was a man shocked sam screamed slammed the door shut and bolted downstairs to may parents room shrieking hysterically dad theres someone out there my father startled awake leapt out of bed and into his clothes he ran upstairs like a shot and grabbed the closest weapon at hand a sawedoff hockey stick thus armed he fumbled his way into the night clambered into his four wheel drive truck and aided by his plug in high power searchlight began to comb and scan the countryside about our dwelling the police showed up soon there after having been notified by my mother and together with my father retraced in the snow the path that the prowler had taken through the woods after a search for the culprit turned up short and convinced by the authorities that our intruder had probably been scared off for the night my family including sundri went back to bed but weve been wary of undressing near our win dows ever since the preceding incidents are a mere sampling of the many exciting events which have befallen us since we gave up city life to become rural folk i havent even touched upon some of the more bizarre activities- considered mundane to us now but regarded as remarkable by those hapless souls who remain as yet uninitiated into the know of farm life those sophisticated city slick ers show me a torontonian who wakes in the night to find a wolf growling at him from outside his bedroom window who rises in the morning and goes out to his mr turtle pool to discover that his beloved pet flyeating muscovy ducks have been devoured by foxes well ah figured thet wuz bound tuh happen exclaimed dan his blue eyes sparkling who has wormpickers pay him thousands of dollars per annum for the privilege of harvesting night crawlers in his backyard whose grass is cut and fertilized free of charge by texas t