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c2 tribune march 29 1989 su its the biggest discount sale ever yuppy ad has bottom line for a luxurious loo up to r off and 0 more wednesday m 3 7 1 0 pm mall closed 6 7 pm ithefoodt i v you wont belt ives 9h writing your own column is fun but it doesnt give you the poetic licence of a copywriter as i discovered when reading a re cent ad in a home improvements magazine the skilled hands of the master craftsman create unique objects of expression ran the copy a satsuma porcelain vase in gleaming ceramic enhanced by the beauty of pastel motifs in relief each is a reflection of a desire for absolute aesthetic pleasure in a rare moment the eye rests on an object of exquisite beauty to possess it is to ex perience the ultimate luxury the buildup makes it sound like a superlative piece of fine china but the truth is less entran cing although it doesnt actually mention the indelicate function of this objet dart a quick look at the tasteful pic accompanying the ad reveals it to be a yuppy toilet i must admit that if someone had asked me to wax lyrical on the subject i might have had some difficulty id never regard ed washroom furnishings as unique objects of expression before what does my noname depart ment store loo whose only op tion is a lined tank say about mv inner self kates corner kate gilderdale the ontario association of chiefs of police in conjunction with the solicitor generals of fice of ontario will present a one- day symposium to address the problem of false alarms and their effect on police forces throughout ontario the intent of the symposium being hosted by the york regional police force will deal perhaps the excessive hype is understandable when you con sider the price of such enhancers of modern lifestyle and image though my personal inclina tion leads me to seek out bargains when it comes to the components of the smallest room i can see why an investor in such high style might want some kind of emotional return if i had made that sort of in vestment id probably want to flaunt it which begs the question of whether this object of esthetic pleasure really belongs in the humble washroom at all perhaps it could be placed in a more prominent area at the foot of a sweeping scarlett ohara staircase say to serve as a free- standing example of 80s sculpture since people have been known to fill bathtubs with earth and summer flowers another ex cellent location might be outside the brasstrimmed double en trance doors where the delicate porcelain vase could hold a selec tion of tastefully chosen blooms letting the world know that the owners are among those rare people who know art when they see it after all some people just drop in for a quick coffee and a chat and never even visit the facilities just imagine the crushing disappointment when your gleaming status symbol doesnt even get a cursory glance lets face it you can hardly in sist on an indepth tour of the bathroom just to emphasize your good taste anyway with everyone mak- ing do with three or four bathrooms these days how much upmarket hardware can people afford its no good doing an image job on the downstairs powder room when at the crucial moment one of the children decides to use it leaving the visitor to slum it in the washroom which features a discontinued line from sears even dedicated yuppies must find it increasingly difficult to keep up these days when your plumbing fixtures become a reflection of your soul you have to wonder where it will all end york regional police host false alarms minisummit directly with false alarm problems false alarms are predicted to cost 10 million in southern on tario this year alone reports say the burden will eventually be borne by the taxpayer both through shouldering the costs and by being deprived of the full attention of the police officer sworn to protect citizens it has been determined 98 per cent of all alarms are false cost is not the only considera tion answering false alarms on a continuous basis has the effect of making a police officer compla cent the symposium takes place wednesday april 5 9 am at the sheraton parkway hotel hwy 7 and hwy 404 richmond hill tjfc z efjgnggfflggggmjsi senior discount phone orders accept hwvt vavvrriofurf t srttltt 5 i 1 kingston rd martso 1 iwarkham 1 massey field gate ulnthuutaliunb scardorouqh 4630 kingston rd 940112otnton 45 middlefield rd unit 4 scarb 2825656 303 dreyer drive west discovery bay centre ajax 116 buttermill ave concorde 2450 finch ave w weston 422 dunlop st barrie centertown mall london uon 4ihtm wr inn victoria st north kitchener w sprung specials tinto fpi sat inly markhah store only while quantities last 12 speed mens bhkbe and ladies 8 adjustopedic set mattress and foundation 39 reg 189 517995 54 reg 239 corning shadow iris 10 pc cookwareset microwave safe royale blanket 72x90 100 polyester reg style house mini blinds asst sizes asst colours 30 vision s pc cookwareset 15 l cover sauce fen 24 c fry pan 45 l covered sauce pot 15 l double bojer sale 5 sgg99 valvoline motor oil 1lt 10w30 reg 187 2 off 42 hugger ceiling fan sblados pofch brass reg 109 sgo0 finesse shampoo conditioner 300mlgggg ea portafile portable filing system assort colours reg 1797 1400 woolcd markvlle shopping centre hvvy7mccowan i