rt h m vilimi 1 v t c14 tribune january 27 1s88 shelbys a carpet connoisseur whoever invented the saying a dog is mans best friend obviously never met mine she just doesnt qualify first of all shelby hates men plain and simple its a very rare instance when someone of the male persua sion enters my home she doesnt immediately drop the tail between her legs and dash for the nearest hiding spot but then i cant say i really blame her i cant think of anyone whether human or animal who likes being referred to as the ugliest mutt in the world she cant help it if shes a cross between a german shepherd and some sort of hound weve almost got it narrowed down to greyhound myself i think shes kinda dimensions thmiis jbonaui cute as do any other females whove met her the sad eyes droopy ears and skinny little body are real heart grabbers so instead of referring to her as mans best friend ive de cided to call her a familys greatest source of added headaches take for instance a few short weeks after we first got her first got her not relishing the idea of ha v- ing a puppy roaming the vast expanses of beige carpeting gracing our upstairs we kept her locked up in the basement within two days she ate the finish off my antique cedar chest chewed the panelling and molding off the walls and tried out her new molars on the first two steps of carpeting at the bottom of the stairs then there was the time she decided she was going to help me decorate the christmas tree only i couldnt seem to make her understand youre supposed to put the decora tions on not take them off everytime i turned around to put something new on the tree the last thing was missing or take the evening my mother spent baking christ mas cookies which she left to cool on the kitchen table i would never have believed it possible for a dog to con sume seven dozen in 30 seconds flat but she did then she has had lots oi practice bet money on it true to habit i usually sit myself down in front of the tv some time after dinner with a bag of chips in one hand and the dip in the other but it never fails after finally get ting myself comfortable i have to get up to change the channel so on to the table go the chips and dip my jflefia a rhiri nnlu rrp norp m cut v introducing twin pass beginning february 1 1988 riding go and ttc to and from union station will be more economical and convenient than ever with twin pass buy your go adult monthly pass and ttc adult metropass and youll save 20 thats 20 off what you would pay to buy both passes separately your monthly twin pass allows unlimited use of the ttc system as well as unlimited use of the go service for the area purchased theres only one place to get your twin pass- the go transit ticket counters in union station note if you dont already have a ttc photo id card a special id cardissuing booth will be set up for your convenience at union station adjacent to the ticket counters in the go concourse this facility will be open weekdays only from 7 am to 11 am and 3 pm to 7 pm between january 25 and february 4 the cost of the ttc id card is only 2 for twin pass information call go at 18002681983 tolifreeorthettcat393info for your convenience youre welcome to use visa or mastercard government of ontario ed fulton minister of transportation lou parsons w chairman- go transit jef lyons chairmannc i could bet money on it every time they wont be there when i turn around and she quiets about it too i think theres some fox in her background as well and while some people have to baby proof their homes ours is dogproofed you never leave a drink or anything breakable on our cof fee tables if you do the tails sure to get it every time its a lethal weapon thats been contributing to the vast de crease in glassware available at our house in the long run shell prob ably also be responsible for someone in my home having a coronary only last week we had our entrance foyer recarpeted however while issuing the appropriate comments re garding the redecoration we turned around to see shelby happily chewing on a foot long strip of the very same carpeting if looks could kill i hope dogs have nine lives such as cats supposedly do be cause if looks could kill our dog is working on her second and third down we all went on hands and knees to see where shed stolen the incriminating evi dence nothing was missing we know she tore it off some where but up till now we just cant figure out from where then theres the matter of her bark she may only bean average size dog but shes got the bel low of a bull moose she also cant distinguish between the sound of our door bell ringing from those on tv there you are confortably lying in front of the fireplace watching the television when a bell sounds off and running and shes off and running in the first turn its shelby wiping out four glasses on the table and dragging moms knitting half way up the stairs in the second turn we see her wipe meredith out coming down the stairs and careen into the hall closets as she rounds into the turn so im sure you must be asking yourselves by now just why we keep her if shes such a bother the answer came to us last november one evening just shortly af ter we moved into our new house the doorbell rang and we found on our doorstep a salesman who didnt seem to understand the meaning of the words no thank you shelby got the point across one bark and a little growl and he was off and running but wont he feel silly if he ever finds out she only did that be cause she was afraid of him true she is a lot of work and is sometimes very frustrating but when walking alone at night even in stouffville or staying by yourself at home what could make you feel saf er than an affectionate warm 50pound burglar alarm