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c20 economist suntribune december 22 1987 happy holidays to one and all from management and staff 3s9 main st w stouffville uxotn ins xsitauxant that offsxi tks s3insit joining in ckloaffuills comsi tks knsit itsaji ana isafooa dinnsx in town uoux ckoics of s oz jvsiv ljovi jbbiihloin cstsali aiul a 13 lb ofgaxlic iautssd ikxbnfi 12 oz jvsiv joxh stxifioin stsali af lb of aaxlic iautssa ikxbnfi ox tks fixics of igq5 i all dinnzxi axs fully aaxniiksaj jbsbig tns attached couhon tvlisn iiou corns to dint and ive it talis iij00 off tlis fnics of tlisic dimizis aviai ouuzd eu amjons at uoux table 500 coupon oust te validated at time of dining haw how nonchristians can celebrate season dr meade is a registered psychologist and director otthe markham stouffville family life centre in this column he ans wers questions from readers who remain anonymous qi am not a christian and do not celebrate christmas at work the staff participates in gift giving practices names are drawn for employees and a collection is taken to buy the boss a gift i participated this year but feel i am being hypocritical both to my faith and to my co workers how can i still remain friendly with my friends at work and follow my beliefs at the same time a the celebration of christ mas as both a religious feast and a public holiday is an histor ical tradition in this country and has become a cultural norm the idea of a holiday or time off to relax is universally ex pressed in culture throughout the world the recent phe nomenon of large numbers of people emigrating to other parts of the world has given rise to the feeling of cultural aliena tion with an increasing aware ness of individual and minority rights we must be very careful not to impose a religious custom on others at the same time we must not censor the public ex pression of religious beliefs your noncelebration of christmas is important as an expression of your personal freedom if it really strains your beliefs do not participate in the giftgiving aspect of the festiv ity your friends should under stand perhaps you could see the secular aspect of taking a holi day the giving of gifts need not a friend in meade bit jul have religious significance it might be helpful to let your co workers know the distinction between giftgiving which is appropriate to most cultures and christmas giftgiving which has an historical reli gious connotation this might help you remain friendly with your coworkers and allow you to follow your be liefs at the same time q every year at the office christmas party it is the same thing a couple of people drink too much and they say things they wouldnt dream of saying if they were sober last year one male employee told me exactly what he thinks of me and a female employee made a pass how should i handle this situa tion a society has become con scious of the propensity to ex cesses and impropriety that accompanies holiday seasons in particular christmas the ominous ride reduced im paired driving everywhere program and the realistic por trayal of accidents resulting from drunkenness that we can watch on tv and hear on the radio are reminders of our in creased awareness of the prob lems which attend christmas it seems the office christmas party has been historically an invitation to indulge in excess alcohol and loosen ones inhibi tions to the point of rudeness and often regretful lack of con vention the designated driver is allowing office parties to persist with the attendant difficulties which youve mentioned in your question my suggestion for this year is to forgive and forget and to plan for the future why dont you be come an organizer and help in ject reason into the next office party some ideas to help keep an office party in check are have plenty of nonalcoholic punch available serve low alcoholic content beer and wine invite families to attend serve food the predinner cocktail is in tended to rush alcohol into the bloodstream to create an im mediate high if you serve food first the alcohol will be absorbed into the bloodstream more slowly there is a myth that one can not have a good time without alcohol there are companies experimenting with an alterna tive having parties without alcoholic beverages why not suggest this at your office dr meade welcomes your questions if your response is published name and identity if included will be withheld ques tions may be directed to the markham stouffville family life center 113 main st mar kham offer wires in 31 1993 imhimu w stoufmllc reservations wo7724