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c8 economist suntribune october 14 1987 play it cool lessons for unseasoned travellers when my english grandfather turned 100 along with the tradi tional congratulatory letter from the queen he received some attention from the local press what the young journalist wanted to know was his most memorable experience he was hoping i imagine to dredge up romantic memories of long for gotten wars and dimly remem bered monarchs my grandfather thought for a moment his eyes sparkled and he recounted happi ly his first day up in a crane and how small the people looked down below like ants really he said the family was not amused as the last printed word from the family patriarch there was a general feeling that these com ments fell somewhat short of the mark family hangup perhaps this fascination with looking down from a great height is something of a family hangup for what its worth caxol fyaxanzx iiil i would have to be very tipsy in deed to be lured to the top of the cn tower or even into the cab of a crane and yet try putting me on a plane and letting someone else have the window seat no way if im airborne the window seat is automatically mine and i have been known to elbow aside frail old ladies and pitiful children in order to claim it justice is served youll be pleased to know by the fact that immediately behind me can al ways be found a child with a weak stomach or an infant with an over developed set of lungs or both seasoned traveller my husband who travels a lot on business prefers to pretend that he is not with me he says that the stewards and stewardes ses can always tell the sophisti cated travellers him from the gawkers me it seems that proper plane eti quette requires that you get on the plane with as little fuss as possi ble do up your seatbelt and read or fall asleep without snoring un til you hear the tinkle of the drinks wagon you then order something uncomplicated like scotch down it and continue quietly with your activities upon landing you pull together your hand luggage in one fluid motion and make a speedy though urbane departure you do not make a fuss either coming or going and you particu larly should not get stuck halfway into your seat while trying to wedge your hand luggage under the seat in front of you while trying to fit your large patoot into the seat behind you if you must watch the safety de monstration you must never take notes but simply try to memorize the salient points without moving your lips or looking anxious you mustnt badger the stewardess by asking her to locate the oct 15 1985 issue of macleans or by hav ing to squeeze by her to go to the loo just when she is coming along announcing viceroys newlocmion now open for the added convenience and service to our customers jefferson visit our new model home at no 7 highway and bayview ave 1 block east of bayview our sales representatives will be there to serve you every day from 9 am to 9pm 9am to 5pm saturdays and 12 noon to 5 pm sundays please send me the 90page viceroy catalogue i enclose 600 m postal code location of lot 1 tceroy f the finest homes of them all for more information call 4167665310 312hwy7east richmond hill ontario l4b 1a5 with the food trays at the happy hour you should never order a mai tai asking if its too much trouble it is and then have trouble deciding among the other available options all the little bottles being so cute and above all dont put the empty little bottles into your purse muttering something ab out giving the doctor a good laugh the next time he asks for a sample in short it is utterly declasse to enjoy yourself on an airplane fun is for the crew as a passen ger you have grim responsibili ties if you should find yourself gaz ing out the window and smiling at how the people look enjoy but keep it to yourself got that grandad ii f i if iii if v service directory ads get results to place yours call today 2942200 or 6402100 the original east of f lemania 1 in concert markham theatre for performing arts october 24 tickets s1socj ji handling charge ludcd in iiclet price showtimes 600 pm 9oopm all seats reserved a box office 4790201