c4 economist suntribune may 7 1986 gets funding increase family life centre plays important community role for residents of stouffville sometimes a small social ser vice agency can do a big job take the stouffville family life centre its only a parttime agency and it doesnt have a home to call its own but for eight years the centre has fulfilled an impor tant role in the community funded by the united way of york region since 1980 it is the only counselling agency in stouff ville and executive director doris martin believes that it has a crucial part to play in the life of the community the united way thinks so as well since it has agreed to in crease funding from 3200 in 1985 to 4500 in 1986 martin is naturally concerned that the united way fundraising drive reaches its goal our budget isnt very big she says but we need every cent i hope people realize how important even a small donation is rentfree accomodation located in the second floor board room of the stouffville cre dit union which provides the space rentfree the family life centre offers individual family and group counselling to a wide variety of people martin who has a master of so cial work degree from sir wilfred laurier university and experi ence as a childrens and family services counsellor has been at the centre only 10 months but in that short time she has seen peo ple of all ages and backgrounds she explains that stress anxie ty depression and behavioural problems are not the exclusive property of any one part of the community affects everyone one indicator of this is the fact that while about half her clients are subsidized the other half pay the full fee themselves martin is convinced moreover that the need for the centres ser vices has yet to be fully realized stouffville is growing rapidly and as a result changing in these circumstances de mand for programs like those at the family life centre tend to grow as well there are she says quite simply more people leading more complex lives to test the need the centre has decided to publicize its services more than in the past by distri buting flyers placing posters in public buildings and taking out newspaper ads martin and her board of directors hope to in crease community awareness of their services delicate balance its a delicate balance though martin explains that in a small community people are con cerned about anonymity still we think we ha ve to publicize our pre sence and encourage people to make use of us basically the centre is de signed to help people cope when straightforward or common ex periences like marriage chil dren and school become for whatever reasons twisted and uncommon martins task is to assist such people in recovering some pers pective on their lives in doing so she must often dispense a para doxical kind of wisdom listening to martin describe her work one comes to realize that the problem isnt always that people fight but that they dont fight fairly positive style it isnt always that they act up but that they dont act up enough and it isnt always that they dont have human relationships that they dont know what they want out of them she cites some examples a married couple had separated now they wanted to get back together which seemed simple enough except they didnt know how being together only seemed to drive them apart martins solution was to help them develop a positive conflict style in simple terms to learn how to fight fairly and construc tively they matured as a couple and as individuals learned to manage their differences and now they are back together practice sessions a woman had a husband and children but lacked confidence feeling guilty anxious and dis satisfied she had lost her ability to cope with everyday life so she had to practice martin got her to act out scenarios scenes of daytoday life in the security of the clinic eventually she was able to translate what she learned from them into the rest of her life coping became possible in the real world because she had acted it out in an unreal one now the woman had the confi dence to express herself openly finally a single woman had broken up with her lover con fused and guiltridden she was unable to gain any perspective on the relationship questions emerge as a result it cast a shadow over the rest of her life and espe cially over the prospect of future relationships with martins help she began to reexamine her life and values gradually questions emerged about what she wanted from life and a relationship with a man from the questions came answers counselling will always be the core of the centres program but martin adds we also have to stay in touch with community needs as they develop here the board of directors is a great help with two homemak- ers a retiree a doctor and a minister sitting on it the board represents a good crosssection of the town and is closely in touch with its needs under the boards guidance the centre has branched out into such extracounselling programs as the currentlyinsession parent ing and sign language courses says martin our role is that of an initator we initiate groups get them going and then they can continue on their own other examples of this initia tive are moms and tots a club for mothers and preschool chil dren and the stouffville youth group for children in grades five to eight martins current project is to start a local chapter of the one parent family association of canada her experience suggests that there is a real need for it in the area often perhaps most of the time life is straightforward but when it isnt its a disturbing and dis orienting experience if a com munity really is a community it must be prepared to help at those times desserts and tea 11 i if l000s of paper back books half price or less we buy and sell books lili i mon wu tours 106 191 wellington st east fw os markham mall s mothers day draw at unique gifts 96 main st n markham in the old town hall 4716207 saturday may 1086 at 200 pm the 19th hole 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