The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

economist suntribune june 27 1984 a9 markham movie scene rhinestone just doesnt glitter by ian bailey aside from trendoriented movies breakin or beat street and sequels star trek iii or conan the destroyer what could be more of a sure thing at the box office than tossing a known star quality into a movie better yet two stars somewhere in hollywood there is a studio ex ecutive who must have thought that casting sylvester stalloneopposite dolly parton would be this kind of sure thing one can almost hear him musing wow we get stallone and we get parton and we let him play a tough guy but a loser rocky and par- ton shes gotta sing well make her a country singer wow itll clean up rhinestone the result of this pairing may in deed succeed at the box office filling the coffers of its studio as audiences are drawn in to see this urbanrural odd couple if it does rhinestone will succeed at something god knows it doesnt cut it as a comedy the plot must have seemed like a terrific vehi cle for its stars mainly because its easy for them rhinestone is a macabre version of my fair lady twisted to fit stallone and parton par- ton is professor higgins to stallones unbeliev ably dim eliza doolittle the only thing that has been changed here is the location and the mileu from victorian england and upper class manners to new york and coun try music its a change more comfortable for the actors their images and their most rabid fans partons rhinestone pseudonym is jake fer ris a country singer at a rowdy new york club r nick martinelli sylvester stallone is a new york city cab driver and jake ferris dolly parton has just two weeks to turn him into a country singer in rhinestone currently playing at the markville cinemas to prompt her lecherous boss ron leibman in the films best performance to release her from her contract she agrees to participate in an odd wager if she can mold a randomly selected stranger into a country music warbler good enough to appease the regular hecklers at the club shell be released if she fails jake will have to sleep with her boss the stranger is sylvester stallone in the guise of taxi driver nick martenelli jake thinks- he is a bum he thinks she is a reject from hee haw he also hates country music- when theyre together a few sparks fly in a relationship devoid of sincerity or originality the combination of stallone and parton must have seemed like an explosive way to make the most of the premise but the result is as explosive as wet dynamite or diluted gasoline as directed by bob clark who directed porkys i and ii from a screenplay coauthored by stal lone rhinestone is more interested in substitut ing conflict between well conceived characters with a conflict between the stars images for the fans stallone is his usual tough and urban loser with dreams of success parton is fiesty rural and buxom along with patently charming richard farn- sworth the grey fox as her father her image wins over stallones she wrings some charm out of her role regrettably she is not charming enough to overwhelm stallone who plays dumb with a capital d he is as appealing as one of the more extroverted apes in greystoke most important is that he is so obnoxious he ruins the relationship central to the film jake and nick the only thing worse than stallone are the films running jokes jockey itch big organs nicks fathers fascination with partons ana tomy which are only relieved by dolly parton doing what she does best singing rhinestone has a few nice tunes most of which were written by parton stallone sings afewof them and does adequately especially since they seem to have been shaped for his flat voice they are brought to his level as the whole wretched movie is brought to his and partons level rhinestone is now playing at markville cinemas records cassettes now showing the following movies are showing at local theatres markville cinemas lstar trek hi pg star- ring william shatner and leonard nimoy 2top secret aa a spy sa tire from the makers of airplane 3rhinestone pg re viewed this week gremlins pg a comedy horror hit produced by stephen spielberg thornhill square dghostbusters pg star- ring bill murray and dan aykroyd i 2conan the destroyer aa opens friday 3romancing the stone aa starring michael douglas buy one cassette from our super sale bins at specially marked prices buy two cassettes save an additional 1 00 on total purchase or buy three cassettes save an additional 200 on total purchase buy four cassettes save an additional 300 on total purchase buy one get one free of the same price 8 track clearout 99 1w more than just a record and tape store otyccne 744m from beatles to who 100sto choose from if you havent had a great steak lately cheer up theres anew keg in town u tkktidkii a great steak at the keg is more than a promise its a guarantee it starts with selecting the best beef and then broiling it over mesquite charcoal incredible taste and incredible value you can pay more for a steak but it wont be any better you may pay less in a few places but not for comparable quality but one dinners worth a thousand words come in enjoy a great steak stay for the fun and youll be back for the value we guarantee it bq georgethe keqs got if join us for good times were now open at sheppard centre 4881 yonge street willowdale ed smith manager pfocev its a summer celebration join us for our canada day and bicentennial birthday extravaganzas were celebrating together all weekend long this weekend features a festival of great summer happenings all over ontario place sing along rock along dance along and thrill to our fantastic canada day and bicentennial fireworks displays rock roll spectacular produced by richard nader the forum in association with ckfm 999 presents this threeday pro gram of that good old rock n roll jr walker the allstars martha reeves special guest stars the marvelettes and the rock roll revival band friday june 29 800 pm unle anthony the shirelles special guest stars danny the juniors and the rock roll revival band soturdaijlune30jo0 800pm rick nelson del shannon special guest stars danny the juniors and the rock roll revival band sundayjuly 1 3m 800pm happy 200th ontario monday july 2 were celebrating ontario bicentennial with clown bands the strolling heritage singers the 48th highlanders of canada pipes and drums the ontario wildlife heritage childrens village and more well light up the sky at 1000 pm when cftr 680am and ontario place present a bicentennial fireworks extravaganza our biggest and best show ever featured at the forum 1200 noonjim rosalie polka dot door live trie childrens entertain ment of the bicentennial showcase 300pmthe pharazon dance company scarring romeo plus lou ann bobby 800pm the allnew artie shaw orchestra m association witn cranio special acts at the molson summer garden 100200 pmnightwood theatre love and work enough a cele bration of ontarios pioneer women 530730 pm the free olympiad festival a multicultural prqgram molson summer garden dance to the beat or just relax at any of our adjoining restau rants at the west island village the savoys a fridayjune 29 i000pm- jvjcsv 100 am v revolver canadas foremost tribute to the beatlesi sat june 30 sun july i i 230p m the ron bagnato big band saijuno 30t0pmt a m canada day fireworks display sunday july 1 our day ends with a sky high finale at looopm fi y so much more lf experience ontarios past present and future in our new imax filmjourney of discovery featured at sfs cinesphere watch for the tall stiips sailpast on saturday july 7 and join us for our festival of ontario wines july a to july 7 ontario placeup down all around any way you like it its all yours ror further information cmhmittstfll icrls ms taiieshore kvd west jra toronto ontario cjauj m4k m a crown corporation of the governrrxni of ontario mmrsrry of tourism and recreaton hon rtmocnc hxumwtct m t tmw