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t tub tribune thursday january 2s w i james thomas edhortnchlef established 888 charles a nolan publisher barrhbeacock advertising manager emtomaloeptedscfarmtrjknholt display advertising dpt lois wkteoua sosxessqfrcfcjonm o puboslmd mry thursday m 54 main st stouavhte out tl 8402101 toronto phono 381 stool copim 20 e subscriptions 1000 par ysar in canada s2600 atmohar atsmbar of canadian community newspapers association and ontario wskly nawspapars association second class man registration number 0896 1 the tribune is one of the inland publishing co umhed group of suburban newspapers which in- dudes the ajax whitby pickering news advertiser brampton guardian burlington post etobkoke gazette llarkham economist and sun newmarket aurora era oajnue beaver oshawa this week m newscoshawa this weekend acton free press itirton canadian champion and the georoetown independent 6402100 3611680 editorials fair president well chosen its significant and unique that the 1979 president of markham fair should also be the architect of the new site mac cosburn a water resources engineer tand an associate with the firm of marshall macklin monaghan has been closely con nected with the planning of this project from the start it would seem fitting then that he should have an opportunity to head up a venture to which hes been so much a part looking past year 79 the fairs future is obviously in good hands with fred crawford and dennis seeley following in that order a glance back over the financial report of 78 its obvious some changes are necessary income is just barely keeping pace with in flation admission prices and other rates will have to be raised while it has never been the goal of the board to make a bundle the directors are anxious to do better than break even a profit can no longer be assured on the present fee system even with crowds as large as they were last year v were certain most people will un derstand the fairs position when prices are advanced this fall growing oldfer ari be f iiii in whitchurchstouffville reaching maturity at age 60 should be a joy thanks to an orgaization called the silver jubilee club this program is undoubtedly the most rewarding project since the township and village amalgamated to become a town to date membership is close to 200 with more likely to join this spring and summer it wasnt too many years ago that seniors seeking a little daytime relaxation were bounced from pillar to post in stouffville it was men only at that time and all they wanted was a place to play euchre for a few hours during winter afternoons they werent that wellreceived how different now the silver jubilee clubs the envy of us all thanks to the per- severance of a faithful fewand the co operation of an understanding council in whitchurchstouffville reaching sixty is a joy not a concern beating inflation and how black creek pioneer viuagffaas setsbnie kind of record in the fight against inflation on saturday the snack bar and half way house dining room offered food at the following prices a full course meal 25cents weiner on a bun five cents fried potatoes five cents coffee one cent hot apple cider one cent hot chocolate one cent coketone cent v admission to the village was reduced to ten cents per person while were not suggesting stores and restaurants in whitchurchstouffville should follow suit it would be a surefire way of guaranteeing crowds waste of public funds a page 1 story a newspaper called the christian inquirer tells of a new film entitled summers children that argues the case for incest between a brother and sister j according to the report several officials of the canadian film development cor poration have been loud in their praise of this release and this is fine they have ap parently seen it and have a right to their own opinion we havent seen it and probably wont that too is our right a however it becomes the concern of all canadians when our tax money- is used to- support a project of this kind the inquirer states that 96000 was invested by the canadian film development corporation in this venture more than half the total cost i the films plot deals with a 22 year old boy who leaves home for the big city pursued by his lovestruck sister she drops clues as to her whereabouts and the two eventually get together the c fdc is a federal agencya crown corporation operating under the jurisdiction of the secretary of state so it is our tax dollars that have funded this film promoting incest thats where our money goes there ought to be a law s news item mac cosburn elected president of markham fair board for 1979 t r lfhrwheelerv hold it a minute mac the fairs not til september roaming around does television rule your roost by jim thomas does the tv rule your roost do the kids park themselves in front of the set hour on hour particularly saturdays and sundays ours did to the point where it was becoming a bit ridiculous but not any more at least not to the same extent beginning with the new year we laid down a few rules that seem to be working well why nowtyourask the reasons simple when we had the old black and white clunker nobody cared in fact on occasions we had to coax the kids to watch the only channels available were 9 and 5 and not too clear at that sometimes by turning the knob halfway between 2 and 3 we could pick up barrie but that was usually due to a freak of nature rather than mechanical accomplishment for best results we found stomping ones right foot down on the third row of floor tile closest to the north wall worked wonders all kinds of ufos would flutter across the screen plus flashes from as far distant as mars science fiction without equal while i found it somewhat intriguing no one else did s v hey dad why cant we have color like joey smith down the street they would ask because joey smiths folks or whoever have more money thariwe do id reply knowing full well each time i said it they werent impressed anyway a year ago last christmas old scrooge loosened the purse strings and made the big purchase a 20 inch electrohome from stouffville sound and music for better or for worse it brought about a complete change in the way of life within our family circle it was television morning noon and night come meal time six empty places at the table come homework time piles of books none of them opened come bedtime urepeated calls but no response come church time shoes unshined and hair uncombed we were losing control thats when i purchased a dinner bell one ring and everyone comes running or else and no one dare leave until the slowest eater is finished then the mad dash the charge of the light brigade however as invariably happens solve one problem and raise another thefirst one to reach the set has the choice of programs on fridays its eight is enough vs the newlywed game vs sha na na vs the in credible hulk on saturdays its hee haw vs lawrence welk vs star trek vs i love lucy on sundays its the gong show vs the hardy boys vs the beachcombers vs alfred hitchcock on mondays its little house on the prairie vs family feud vs the price is right vs fantasy island on tuesdays its mary tyler moore vs whats my line vs the muppets vs walt disney on wednesday its charlies angels vs wonder woman vs the dating game vsgood times on thursdays its hollywood squares vs stars on ice vs chips vs lawrence welk to keep peace in the family weve arranged alternate schedules between 7 and 8 pm on a rotating basis each one sees his or her favorite show on the sixth day of the sixth week with one exception everything stops for wonder woman and why not after all the purchaser of the set should have some say in what programs are fit to see sugar and spice an eccentric in 79 s 1 1 by bill smiley j v 1 si frf4twths the ward brother was taken byi ycoanty and representing 458 years are left to right i roy ward stouffville photographer ted cadlenxback in jan 1956 twenty t fred ward evans ward william ward walter ward and jndd three years ago the gentl at that time all res of ontario wa all have since passed away v with a whole new year extending itself lubriciously before us perhaps its time to wonder what we are going to do with the next 10 or 12 months my plan is to become an eccentric this may not seem much of an ambition but ive always admired eccentrics and secretly desired to be one t p t my wife and other close friends have already suggested that i am a bit wierd but thats their problem after almost 20 years as a teacher of english im gona spell er like she is the way my students do thats only one of my eccentricities i am also going to grow hair in my nostrils not to mention my ears no more of this to the barber yas give the ears a liddle trim and the eyebrows i want hairy ears and eyebrows i want to look like an ancient jewish profit if that isnt enough ill grow flurd in my bellybutton you know what flurd is i hope its that cottony stuff that grows in yourbelly- button f flurd was the real cause of the american civil war the northerners were growing more flurd in their bellybuttons than the southerners were on their plantations but enough of flurd and who ever heard of a civil war a war may be full of fiendish cruelty or dreadful atrocities or monumental indignities but there is nothing civil about it a v civil war occurs when you sue your neighbor to tear down the fence that is bowing over your begonias r c back to my eccentricities every sum- mer until now- 1 have eschewed the wearing of atie and i know my dignity has suffered ive heard people say it they say look at his dignity did you ever see such suffering next summer vcome what mayrlm going to chew a tie every day it may be a little rough a tie a day but with the price of lettuce what can you lose v another thing i plan to do next year is dribble no no not dribble a football about the backyard any ineccentric can do that i mean dribble at the nose and mouth con- istahtiyand i will wipe it with my sleeve this is only slightly less eccentric than picking ones nose in public and eating it whjch a real eccentric will do every time do i begin to disgust you dont worry it gets worse i have wellformulated plans to wear white wool sox with black patentleather shoes brown shoes with a blue blazer and white shoes with an orange tuxedo i will wear my hair long but always in a discreet bun to go with my granny glasses i am planning a big party for the twelfth of july so far only the pope and a few car dinals have accepted but im expecting a few other rare birds like king billy the- eleventeeth it promises to be quite a con flagration another thing im going to do in the new year is not go south for the winter this is becoming one of the more eccentric things to do and im going to change my whole at titude toward my grandboys no more love and attention thats not eccentric thats bourgeois this year its going to be get off my clavicle you little monster or ill give you a good scelpt in the lurch thatll teach them that it doesnt pay to fool around with a relief i have some eccentricities in store for my old lady too instead of sitting there reading the paper im going to look up smile brightly and say darling thats the most fascinating account ive ever heard of how you made the bed and did last nights dishes and vacuumed the living room shell probably go into a state of total oblivion there are a few other bad habits ill have to discard if i want to become the complete 20th centry eccentric dont try to say that one unless youjiave your partial plate in pm going to stop semisupporting my kids no more handouts perhaps this seems excessively eccentric see paragraph above but at the respective ages of 30 and 26 they are no longer my business in fact i wish i had a business so i could disown them a nice hardware business for example with a net profit of about 50000 id just love to say i disown you and im leaving the business to your cousin elwood who smokes pot hangs around the poolhall goes out with fallen women and doesnt know whether his arm is glued or tatooed id love to see the look on their faces j i or would i this eccentric business is not as simple as it seems and youd better have your dentures in for that one