The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

the triswe ttovjiy december 22 1966 po 9 santas lament by irene stewart this whole bit started in november when i made that last trip down to my annual santa clau prade while i was busy shaking hands with all the children in the store and noting what each wanted for christmas my eight rein deer were tethered in a nearby parking lot natu rally with nothing to do but rest and listen to pas sersby they couldnt help but overhear some very disturbing gossip it seems there was serious talk of the postmen going on strike for more wages even more upsetting was the news of the garbage men being on strike the idea of scrounging around the city picking up a free meal from overstuffed garbage cans brought a naughty smirk to the rein deers faces and no doubt gave them their big idea ah the way home things seemed to be progressing normally although i did notice a decided lag in their steps and a listless- ness to their leaps over the roof tops i put this down to a natural tire- s and letdown after the rush and excite ment of the journey down to town as i unharnessed and bedded them down back home i thought how much ixc a few weeks rest would do them while fir noticed that mrs c did not greet me with her usual warmth instead she seemed quite de spondent of course i fig ured that with me gone so long and all those christ mas gift watches to pack he just naturally had too too much time on her hands a week of real work went by- but her depres sion still persisted final ly i asked whatever is the trouble my dear with that the little woman broke down and cried please dont think me childish but i cant help feeling low you see while you were away i kept busy packing all those televis ion sets since each one had to be tested i decided to listen to those detergent commercials and try them all out to see which one we should use to keep your whiskers really white instead of being able to choose which one would be best all i suc ceeded in doing was to get a nasty case of rough red hands just look at them arent they a sight i sure dreaded your com ing home to see them no body wants to hold hands with a cactus oh me not being an aqua velva man myself i did my best to soothe my wife assur ing her that since hand some is as handsome does i greatlv admired her strong capable hands re gardless of their colour this seemed to have the desired effect for she perk ed up and dug in to help me get on with the christ mas packing with this accomplished i went out to the shed to harness the reindeer to my amazement those pesky deer wouldnt budge they just lay there glowering at me no amount of coaxing ojol ing prodding or pleading could move them what in the world has gotten into the creatures this could be real serious i thought as i tugged at each of them comet just superright brand grade a all weights fresh killed lb ovenready aver ig weight i to 5tfi vac pac grade a pork sausage meat pac h sausag sli shrimp cocktail sx brand vac pac sau sea sleeve of superright brand smoked superright brand vac pac grade a qyenready capons or v ilb pkg augood smoked sliced rindless no 1 grade 2lb pkg roasting ckins ap cares about you 5 to mb double your money back if you are not completely satisfied with your purchase prici label or register tape necessary of courss r fish chips htnty choice quality rtg price 47e tin save 9e fruit cocktail 2ttni85c heivy duty aluminum foil 18 widt re prie roll 69e save 4a reynolds wrap tmy hoittm rtg prica pkj 69c save 10e potato chips i2o haina fancy quality reg pric tin 41c save 7 tomato juice 2 75 maxwell home 30c off deal reg price st59 save an extra 10c instant coffee iozirl49 ro brand parehment wrapped reg t ibi 100 save 11a margarine 3b 89c the real thing a4p brand freih 324 01 bll 39e orange juice 64nozbi75c aap brnd evap milk 4unoiin59c rare ap fancy quality party supplies save up to 28e over other brands yukon club ginger ale or soda water 30-fl- oz btls plui bottle depoiit 10oz jar 119 martins apple juice 3 48oz tins 89c pineapple- grapefruit save up to 23e over other brands 31oo tefefresh i florida frejh pascal sweet crisp jumbo no grade stalk u w i yukon club canned 12 10floi line 83e beverages caseol24l0flozins169 regular ginger ale lemoivlime orange kola or root beer no additional charge for low gal ginger al or kola mausi up to 140 cup coiti lets than 1e per gup aap brand instant coffee srtirriff chip dip ah varieties 2ozplcg29c colourtd mild cheddar cheese ib65c crone- ov blackwell plum pudding mb in 89c plain potato chips uoz foil p 69c ripple potato chips iioz mary lou aisortad 19 i i 31 chocolates ubbox89e2lbboxt5 exeel salted n0w priced higher at aip california fresh green no 1 grade california large size sweet eating no 1 grade size 88 navel i now rilcid hshii al alp new jersey kiln dried perfect lor turkey dinner nol grade 8 3 mixed nuts in the shell ap mixed nuts 14oz vac pac tin 89c uozpkg49c 399 main street w none piicio higher at aip a real christmas treat jumbo size 6i royal noni riceo highfl at aip be sure to visit our fresh flower department we carry several varieties of christmas plants or your selection including such herns os potted chrysanthemumi azaleas cyclamen hyacinthe and i many others ell attractively priced s5ji5rsis55is3s2vs5s shied avvay from me dasher stomped the turf with all four feet vixen turned her back on me and flicked her tail finally prancer got it across to me that they were on strike we dont intend to haul one more load unless you promise us three larger meals per day much thicker lichen to lie on shorter hours and a months vacation in algon quin park that is our last word can you imagine the nerve of those animals after the way ive taken care of them all these years to have this happen however i simply could nt manage without them it was too late to round up more deer and train them in time for takeoff so i had to meet their de mands to make up for lost time mrs c and i had to rush like mad to get them into harness and otf across the snow i admit i had to use my whip a few times to make up for lost time for awhile even- thing went fine then prancer began to feel his oats and started to show off a little as we raced over cochrane he almost tore off a hoof on a rough eavestrough then while i was down a chimney near cobalt dancer de cided to try to do the watusi on a slate roof and nearly sprained a fetlock a gentle reprimand was enough to get things stea died down and under way in earnest now 1 usually travel by dead reckoning aiming for that very tall spire with the sharp weathervane in north bay here some thing went wrong wheth er i misjudged the dist ance or whether the deer were deliberately out to get me ill never know but i pulled in a little too close to the steeple and the first thing i knew a runner got caught and overturned the sleigh throwing me and the parcels all over the place the first thing i felt was a sharp jab in the scat of my pants the first thing i did was to let out a yell like a wounded coy ote in doing so i let go of the reins well sir those dratted deer were so frightened they tugged and pulled themselves free then they took off over the roofs as though a pack of wolves was after them they must have been half way home be- fore i pulled myself to gether my first impulse was to just sit there and say all the bad words i know there i was skewer ed to that weathervane like a struck pig i was so disgusted that i could hardly move all i wanted to do was go home take a nice hot bath and forget the whole thing to heck with them all i thought those kids really dont need me there they are going around with their portable radios portable televisions walkietalkies cars bicycles surf boards water and snow skis and all the rest of the luxuries who needs me anymore the longer i sat the clearer things became i found myself remembering those children in needy homes where the gift of waim clothing a toy a bit of candy an orange or a new hair ribbon brought comfort and joy to poor little meagre lives ho ho i sighed and started to pull myself to gether scarcely noticing that i had lost one of my shoes somewhere in the back of my mind i seemed to hear the words if ye have done it unto the least of these my children ye have done it unto me with a guilty look- around i shamefully and stiffly got to my feet dont sit there feeling sorry for yourself you old goat rise and shine and be quick about it youve wasted enough time al ready a small voice urged me thanks to mv furlined suit and thermal under wear the damage to my scat was not so bad after applying a bandaid to my cut and gulping a couple of snorts of hot buttered youknowwhat from my thermos which i keep strapped to my back i gathered up as many packs as i could and continued on my journey so here i am again a little sore of foot stiff of joints aching of back and a year older oh well merry christ mas anyway saint nick