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season There are many suggestions ds imaginative pect them what shes talking about makeup as well as smudges to SS DEAR MRS SS POLLY have fun doing it Buy strips the proper leng width you would like dry When making SUSAN ADELE Ang Landers Few changes ease pain Dear Ann As the author of The Bereaved Parent have been inundated with mail from mothers and fathers who have dead children The correspondence has been par ticularly heavy at this time of year because of the holiday things bereaved parents can do to help alleviate the pain and suffering Here are some Meet the holidays head on But make some changes If Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were always late afternoon mealschange the time If you are accustomed to celebrating the holida only the immediate family present this year inclu frien Change the seating arrangements at the table Open gifts at different time than before Change the menu Dont serve the traditional dinner Be If you have always dined at home and this year received an invitation to dine with friends give it try If they care enough they will understand some tears and probably ex Most important its pointless to pretend that everything is the same as it was Your child is dead and that is fact It will only create unnecessary sadness for you and the rest of the family if you pretend to be cheerful Things are not the same as before and they never will be again Above all remember you have the right to be happy You have suffered enough Ilarriet SanroffSchiff Dear Harriet On behalf of my readers who have suf fered enough want to thank you for your practical advice urge all of you out there who have heavy hearts at this time of year because you have dead children to follow her counsel Incidentally the word dead may sound crass and cold but it is much more realistic than saying the child we lost An important part of the healing process is to come to terms with the fact that the child is not lost The child is dead So listen to Harriet She has dead child and knOWS Dear Ann The answer you gave to Toodie was wrong Glasses D0 get in the way of kissing One minute of kissing can mean five minutes of cleaning glasses If youre guy the problem is even worse because theres get off So heres my answer to Toodie Girls who want to be kissed should take their glasses off If guy is smart hell find safe place to deposit his dash If he is too nervous to make the first move your girl should do like my girlfriend does She just reaches up and removes my glasses Its lovely signal that Im gonna get kissed Four Eyes in Lubbock Dear Lub How sweet Thanks for the short course Confidential to Not So Gullible Why do you doubt the validity of his story when your own life would be considered plenty far out by the average observer Remember to the other fellow YOU are the other fellow Hot water helps brass DEAR POLLY cleaned my brass this morning and found some marks that could not remove with brass polish also found one tray had sort of green mold on the back would appreciate any comments MRS Perhaps some of your brass pieces are brass plated and these marks are where the brass finish has worn off The green on the tray may be polish that remained after cleaning Often this happens and one sees green left particularly in crevices where brush should be used to clean and remove the polish find it much better to wash piece in hot soapy water and then rinse in hot water and rub dry to shine after cleaning to be sure all the polish is removed DEAR POLLY My Pet Peeve is with those individuals who run all over town tacking up their ugly garage sale signs on posts and other peoples property Then to make worse they do not remove them when the sale Sometimes they would stay forever if the property owners did not remove them MRS KN DEAR POLLY think have great idea for those who have posters or pictures they want to frame but do not have lot of money to spend You can make your own frames and some felt in the desired color Cut into ths for all sides of the picture and the for the framing used allpurpose white glue to attach the strips to the picture Be careful not to over glue little goes long way Rub ringer across to spread the glue slightly This keeps the glue from running out from under the felt and getting on the picture when pressed down to such frame thumb tacks the color of the felt to tack DEAR READERS This seems very good idea think it would work and look even better if the strips were cut on the diagonal at the corners to give mitered effect DEAR POLLY My helpful hint is for campers always had problem keeping milk fresh in our camper icebox until discovered that if the milk is bought in gallon size plastic bottle and frozen just before leaving it will keep days In fact after four days in the icebox there was still frozen chunk in the milk keeping it very cold buy whole milk think milk that has been frozen watery but by buying whole milk it tasted just fine eLUCY DEAR POLLY use the plastic net bag came in to hold the kids bathtub toys hangit over the tub the water drips out They are kept dry and do not mildew Improved medical care with glasses shirt pocket car matters is over for poster use colored it to the wall PlIY fresh for has tendency to could decrease stress OTTAWA CP Improved medical and nursing care could decrease some of the stress ex perienced by women whose hus ands are dying of cancer says an article in the November is sue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal Based on interviews with women whose husbands had died in seven Toronto hospitals the article says wives of cancer victims believe the stress of liv ing with cancer as terminal illness is far worse than the stress of widowhood It behooves us to uestion how much we and our ospital system contribute to unneces sary suffering of these women and their families and to deter mine what we can do to alle viate such suffering say the trained medical staff who took part in the interviews The interviews covered 162 Toronto women among whom 73 had husbands who died of cancer Another 51 women had been married to men who died of chronic cardiovascular dis ease Wives of cancer patiean felt owerless to deal with their husbands illness They often had to stand by helplessly long ing for death as release from suffering Wives of men with heart trouble were more active They could be more helpful by trying to pay attention to ther hus bands diet and activities The authors also saw social desirability as difference be tween cancer and heart patien ts Cancer is still associated with evil dirt pain and death whereas cardiovascular disease is seen as being more manly and the aftermath of working too hard they said While wives of cancer patien ts expressed anger at the health care system the authors saw this reaction fr ucntly as projection of guit or lashing out against the pain of her eavement But the anger is often appro priate Despite the best of in tentions members of the health care team are often less sensi tive and accessible than they should be says the article The three major complaints of the women were the qualit of nursing care the accessibi ity of doctors and the accuracy of information given to them Women felt that as death ap proached doctors and nurses were leaving them on their own in hospital cases At home the women complained that hysician contact was then most nonexistent creating tremendous anxiety about such issues as who would pronounce death Suicide increase in Metro Toronto Coffee has two natures better nature flavour we like And bitter side that we could do without Now theres new instant Encore9 It tastes better natured not bitter Mellows Coffee Because Nestlé discovered how to give coffee mellow taste with chicory Chicory brings out coffees better nature Leaves bitterness behind Pick up jar of Encorecsoon and enjoy better natured cup of coffee Nestléii TORONTO CP Suicides in Metropolitan Toronto might reach record 375 this year and distress centre kesmen say the jobless rate is partially to blame Bill Hughes member of the joint board of Toronto distress centres said Tuesday tAll of us at the centres see dutc correlation between the suicide rate and the jobless rate From January to June this year 181 persons killed them selves in Metro com red With 150 in the same peri last year Its not just being out of work its the social alienation that goes with joblessness and the hopelessness of ever finding job that is pushing people to an cide said Hughes Patricia Harnisch director of one Toronto distress centre said there is feelin of anxiety hanging over whole population and said callers to the centre are certainly talk ing about their financial wor nes Rev Gordon Winch of another distress centre said he it tho xnmlnor wdnudyooo1 1011 us is struck the number of callers who are not only ressed about not having now but see no hope of ving one five years from now 50106 2W en ore instant coffee with chicory To Retauer We will redeem this coupon for theme valuejpus normal handling charges providing you receive this coupon towards the purchase of the productts identified thereothny other ap plicationvconstitutes fraudvlnvoiccs provrng purchase of sufficient stock of such product in previous 90 days to cover all counons presented for redemption must be shown on requestCoupons Will not be honoured and will be void If presented through outside agencies brokers or otheis who are not retail distributms of our merchandise unless specifically authorized by us to present coupons for redemptionCash valueiZOtIor redemption mail to Nestle PO Box 3000 Saint ohn NB Offer limited to one coupon per purchascfhlo coupon on re Jon 31 1978 0998958 51er coupon