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By LAlDIA KRAISIZ The Examiner Twentyyearold Norma Iarker of Barrie is spending the summer meeting with local agencies to find out whether they use or would like to use volunteers Shes updating the yearold files of Barries Volunteer Service Bureau which that ches willing volunteers with organizations who need them mainly socuil service agencies At the same time shes learning that all types of peo ple are willing to offer their time to become volunteers the examiner Friday July 27 979 Student hired to update files learns about role of volunteers was one of those who thought that only housewives became volunteers Now know its anyone and everyone she says The Bureau was able to hire Miss Parker through the ministry of culture and recreations llijricnce 79 program which pays her $3 an hour for her employment from May to Aug ill Without source of fun ding the Bureau exists in Barrie because volunteers are helping other volunteers put their time and talents to use Ella Neale III the past year Norma Parker on Experience 79 student hired to update the files of Borries Volunteer Service Bureau says she used to think only housewives volunteered Examiner Photo Barrie psychiatrist talks about incest one of last taboos TORONTO Ilgt Incest The ery word conjures up sor did images It is crime leyy victims care to talk about and one that has been called one of the last sexual taboos Research has shown that Qualified PERMANENT HAIR REMOVAL FREE CONFIDENTIAL CONSULTATION 7372671 Member of AEAEPO GREAT TIME TO JOIN Col for FREE VISITI Age Builtd FITNESS CLUB 65 Collar Street hrie 7372281 most incestuous relationships fit general description marriage is falling apart and wife rejects her husband sexually Both spouses have poor sclfimage and feeling inadequate to approach another woman the father turns to his daughter usually the oldest It starts with caressing when shes eight or nine Mother may or may not know what is going on but it she does not say till thing the daughter presumes it is all right By the time she reaches ado lcsceiice and lt sleeping with her lather shc is too frightened to tell anyone It ends in her teens when her father gets jcal oils of her interest in boys and becomes strict Slit then coii tides III teacher or friend or goes to police tarol lti says her father was trucker and came home oiin on weekends Iled loiidlc my breasts or pat me on the butt every time we were alone llcrl say Icl go for country ride and was alraid hed beat inc ll said no On these outings hed make me have oral se with him or mas tnrbatchim didnt tell anyone was too scared so just blocked the lllltltlll out Alter it came out In the open cycryoiic tried to coiiyincc me was the aggrcs sor that was the one ho liro okcd my latlici Dr James llciiderson Bar ric psychiatrist says society does not like to think that daughter seduces her lather prelcinig to think that he victi iincs lici The psychological truth ot the matter is both must play lll active part and ciy often the girl takes very actiye role lll initiating incest and allowing ll to continue itliout protest Incest and involvement in it is not soiilctltilig anyone wants to discuss But Art rnot his real iiatiici says he does tiol mind He stl he wants to talk about his experiences so he can help other people ciuglit in such relationship He is member of Iarcnts nitcd taliloriiia group for parents who scsually Hill their cliildicii and he gives lcr ttircs on lllt subject llc says that when lll ltlIiil iicd incest was the lat tlicl thinglroni his naial We had real ltltl home two cars and boat lliirigs were looking pllll goti llnt in the early yltlgt oi lll ltriiiti marriage his wile icjectrd lillli ltll and ciiioiiniially and half has been mam force behind keeping the Bureau going and Miss Parker works otit of the base ment office of Mrs Neales home where the Bureaus files are kept to At ilINt lIlS Files on about 40 local agencies include confidential descriptions of each agencys role and use of volunteers Not all agencies are non profitiiiakiiig organizations but the Bureau does not discriminate Were not in anyodys pocket says Mrs Neale Well find volunteers for any agencies which use volunteers lur role is recruiting screening and referring those who come to us and ex press interest in becoming volunteers After potential volunteers phone the Bureau ar rangemcnts are made for an interview with one of the Bureaus live committee members Miss Parker has sat in on occasional inter views READY WILLING People are out there ready and willing They do have the time and skills but they dont know how to go about putting them to good use says Miss Parker She explains that agencies meanwhile are looking at how volunteers can help as money and other services become less available Theyre realizing that human resources must be tapped she says Most agencies arent quite ready to accept teens as volunteers but otherwise they want anyone with time and in tercst Theres full range of volunteer possibilities to suit all interests from working with children to seniors pcr sonal onetoonc work or III dividual research she adds Miss Parkers research this summer will help the Bureau prepare for its fall workshop on the basics of volunteering That workshop with up ir Carson Glenda Jean Carson daughter of Mr and Mrs Murray Carson of RR Phelpston has graduated with diploma in nursing from Georgian College Bar rie She hopes to find employment in the Bar rie or Toronto area Ward Sharon Marie Ward of Ruthven daughter of Adi and Mrs Nelson BoyHon of Slimif has graduated with Bachelor of Low degree from the flower sity of Windsor Mr Word has uuupted ulr urticlirig position with the law firm ul Korry Salem and Melrm lII Krrigsvrlle graduates dated information on the local situation lolows two 33 hour workshop held by the Bureau on June for local agencies EXIIX SOT IZIIIING The first point identified rat the workshopi was the need for agencies to learn rk Mrs Agencies how to volunteers says with Neale something not tion iiireturn Also many volunteers to day expect to receive good and payment of training their outofpockct expenses For Barrie the Volunteer Service Bureau is the third attempt at establishing co ordinating service for volunteers Irs Neale says that as the importance of volunteers iii creases with time suc cessfully operating bureau to match people with work will be essential She as member of the In lormation Barrie committee lll April 1978 when it called public meeting that deter mined Barrie again needed coordinating service for volunteers She then made commit ment to work on the steering committee for one year to get the service going and later became the Volunteer Ser vice Bureau coordinator OWN DEFINITION In September 1978 the committee publicized its definition of volunteerism giving frec ly of oneself out of concern and belief that we all share the responsibility for others in our community Ilelpiiig others is motiva tion both Mrs Neale and summer helper Norma Parker share despite the decades that separate their ages When Miss Iarker returns to her early childhood educa tion studies at Georgian Col lege in Barric this fall Mrs Neale suggests shell be able to say that she not only had summer job but an ex perience BOyd Davrd Boyd son of Mr and Mrs Boyd of Angus has graduated with Bachelor of Music degree in performance from the University of Toronto He is graduate of Barrie Cen tral Collegiate This on nouncement appeared incorrectly in Wednes days edition of The Ex aminer people Er places lor singles only tollicr liristian Singles tiliyltilhl married single pcr llll meet in the parlor at tol ticr Street linitcd tliurch iii Itai re tl second and lottrtli nuiiday ol the month Inscnssioii Bible study and lilltilllp special events or spr ilxtl make up the sessions the special program llll tbc tllllllltl lcaturcs aiiely ol ooldoot aillylltes Ioi more iiilorniatioii plionc Iin Iawicncc at lilti IaIH or tol llci hticct Iiiiilcd littirli at tlli lill Veterans reunion llaiiic aiia women who ale let iil rrl Wlll lll Writ ll Ilt Ill nitd to the Lost annual Illliiliili laiiuIlmli Viruiiiti AIIIIV loipr Vtltlnltl lll loioiilo pi zraiintltti loi inoi iiiloiinatiuii write At Vitciann ltcuiiioii liaiirniiii Tilittlc mill iii ii zoi Niagara St lUlUlIlU Hid ll llll must be aware that volunteers expect remunera Hospital receives donation Marie Collins sports officer and Helen Berard president of the Army Navy and Air Force clubs ladies auxiliary present SLOOO cheque to Donald Cameron Royal Victoria Hospital administrator to cover purchase of new stretcher Watching at right are Jo Crawford director of nursing Judy McPherson and Jean Peacock Examiner Photo Winners announced The Barrie chapter of Parents Without Partners am nounccs winners of its 5050 draw to raise funds for the scholarship presented annually to Barrie area student Winners are Nora Rosso of Barrie first prize Evelyn 7un ningham of ollingwood se cond prize and Rose Wallen bury of Midland third prize The draw was held on Saturday at StroudInnisfil Recreation Centre Course to begin Aug 20 typing and office pro cedures course of interest to persons planning to change jobs or reenter the work force begins Aug 20 at Georgian Col lege Barrie The course designed to broaden participants general knowledge of office skills con tinues until Sept 19 Mondays and Wednesday from to 10 pm This short intensive course will cover general setup of let ters reports invoices and much more The use of die taphones will be included says release from the college Instructor Mona Morton is member of the business faculty at Georgian College Cost of the course is $45 and touch typing is prerequisite Advance registration is re quired and student numbers are limited Interested persons should contact Georgian Col lege Summer School of the Arts 7281951 IYC display coming to Barrie next week An International Year of the Child display will be on view at Georgian Mall in Barrie on Aug and after two lays of display at rillia Square cooperative effort by 11 Ontario ministries and the Secretariat for Social Develop ment the display is stafle by students employed through the governments livjxrience 79 program Itsiiig thetintario llt theme Today is for loiiioirow the col orliil display is designed to ap peat to adults as well as children Subjects highlighted include trallic rules iiiiiiiuniration the environment dental care and positive parent ing Before it reaches Barrie the display will have already been to other Ontario cities and by Sept residents of 23 cities Wlll iiavc seen the display Introductory talk free introductory talk on Ichankar will be given on lhursday at 730 pm in the community room at the Municipal Savings and Loan torp building trl Iunlop St in Barrie The meeting is sponsored by thu BarrieOrillia Eckankar Salsallus engagements SandersonSimpson Keith and Myrna Sanderson of Shanty Bay on n0unce the engagement of their daughter Myrna Joy to Brian Ross Simpson son of Charles and Lena Simpson of RR Shanty Bay The wedding is to take place at Central United Church in Barrie at 4pm on Sept Favero Photo MCCOQUespon Id McCague of Barrie announces the Mrs Mary engagement of her daughter Laurie Ellen also daughter of the late McCague of Beeton to Thomas Allan Spall son of Jack and Joan Spall of Dorset The wedding is to take place In Central United Church Barrie on Aug at pm ander HeydenSynnoti Mr and Mrs Frans Vander Hayden concunce the engagement of their daughter Yvonne to Dave Synnott son of Mr and Mrs Bruce Synnott The wedding is to take place on Aug l8 at pm at Our Lady of The Assumption Church in Brent wood Favero Photo Ann Landers Builtin problems Dear Ann Landers married young man who works for his father We have good marriage and are very happy with the way our children are turning out The problem is my husbands boss his father am writing to find out if other men who are in family businesses have the same trouble My husband Ill call him Jacki is an executive He works long hours is extremely conscientious and wouldnt dream of taking two or threeweek vacation like other employees The business does well and the profits are good but we have trouble meeting our bills No way would Jack be putting in such hours for so meager salary if he were working for stranger Id insist that he ask for raise Im sure we are not alone in this situation What do you suggest Weary In New England Dear Weary Working for Ones father or fatherin lawi has builtin problems that come with the territory Youve identified just one Others hear lot about are has sles with brothers uncles or cousins in the business Jack should sit down with the boss and tell him exactly what youve told me If he is making valuable contribution to the business his father will probably come through Some people just need to be told If the boss doesnt come through your husband should decide whether he might be better working for someone else or maybe himself Dear Ann Landers have fouryearold and new baby People frequently stop to coo at the little one and then say to his older brother The baby is so cute think Ill take him home with me know they are only kidding but the fouryearold doesnt Yesterday he tried to kick an old lady when she made this remark was so embarrassed Please tell your readers it is cruel to say such thing to youngster especially when he is torn between not wanting the baby to be taken and hoping he WILL be Its no fun to suddenly find that newcomer in the family has stolen the spotlight and is getting all the attention Mother In lumhia Dear olunibiaz Thanks for letter that demonstrates good insight You know the score Lady Dear Ann Landers would like to say Amen to your suggestion to that woman who had been in therapy for two years and was down in the mouth because she wasnt making any progress You said in your usual matteroffact manner Get another therapist had similar experience After spending too much time and money with therapist didnt like and he wasnt help ing me went to the head of the clinic and asked for another therapist The change turned out to be my salvation Ive been with the second one for ten months and am thrilled with theprogress Ive yelled at her wept in her presence pounded her desk in anger and swore few times She has seen me express every human emotion possible now know am going to make it Please keep repeating that advice Ann Its GOOD Shelley WoburnMaine Dear Shelley Interesting that your first therapist was male and your second female Often the sex of therapist is crucial Topnotch doctors know this secure competent therapist will turn the patient over to another doctor if he feels he is not making progress But not all therapists are secure and competent say year is long enough to give it fair trial Erma Bombeck Resurrecting old custom The other morning opened the paperto see lresident arters daughter Amy trailing behind him at an airport in Tokyo yawning and carrying her violin case The president and Mrs arter unknowingly are resurrect ing trend in this country that has been dormant for more than decade Its called taking the children with you Throughout the world at state dinners higlrlevel hel10s at the airport and molorcades have seen Amy trudging along carrying her books stuffed animals and games Not only is the president putting the babysitter vote in jeopardy he is creating disharmony among us children who have to stay home with minimuniwage baby sitter $200 worth of steaks in the freezer and $5000 worth of toys My son said to me the other day You never take us any where Where would you like to gol Id like to get out more and meet people like Brezhnev or the Japanese ambassador to the United States or maybe just to see hinese opera People dont take their children with them anymore Then why does the president do it Maybe he cant get sitter Besides youd be bored Nol Wouldnt Id take my skateboard along or my dnim set Id keep busy know some kids whose parents even take them out for dinner once in awhile cant remember when you last look me out to dinner remember It was when you uttered your first words shrimp cocktail and pressed duck Maybe Im overreacting but my mother tells stories ol how she used to travel with us in the 30s Bil tBelore Guilt She tells of how we locked ourselves in public restroom pulled over gumball machine in crowded grocery store entwined our bodies around her legs and whined be cause we couldnt have candy fell asleep at the fair threw up on the ferris wheel and argued for 35 miles once on the lifespan of centipede with foot problems Maybe if we had taken our violin along things would have been dilt erent Pollys Pointers Hangrugs carefully By Polly Cramer POLLYS PROBLEM DEAR POLLY have one large and two small rugs that my husband made while in VA hospital would like to use them as wall hangings How do do this NM DEAR NM If It has not been done already would first line the rugs with burlap or heavy canvas They will hang evenly and not sag If you first fasten to the wall strips of wood with nail ends protruding to the front such as one puts carpets on The rugs can be pushed onto the nails on these strlps Cut strips to the required lengths POLLY DEAR POLLY always keep package of pipe cleaners in my makeup kit They are soft and easy to bend use them to remove mascara or eye liner from the corners of my eyes or lids without smudging my other makeup RUTH DEAR POLLY When ironing shirt With embrOidery on it such as bowling shirt place towel folded In half on the ironing board put the embroidered piece on it with the right side down put another tawel on top and steam iron All the wrinkles come out After cleaning fish rub lemon juice on it to get rid of the fishy smell When moving house plants from one house to another make cone out of two sheets of newspaper Gently push up from the bottom over one plant and secure the ends This prevents breakage of leaves and stems DEBRA DEAR DEBRA have found that many plants move well If slipped down Inslde very large paper bag POLLY DEAR POLLY The best bookmark have ever found is corner cut from an envelope The triangle should be about inches each way and will easily slip over the corner of the page in book SANDY