10 the examlnor Saturday July 1979 Marriage Encounter 200 local cou Ies have tried it Making good marriages even better By SHEILA coo Examiner Correspondent Today when one Canadian marrige in four ends in divorce and doom and gloom prophets are busy predicting the end of marriage as an institution littlepublicized church sanctioned group known as Marriage Encounter is teaching happy couples how to make their good marriages even better Its growing movement in Simcoe County started by the Roman Catholics quickly adopted by the Anglicans and now growing among other denominatons More than 200 local couples have participated in Marriage Encounter weekends designed to teach them how to com municate with each other more effectively and romance It all began in Spain in 1966 when young Roman Catholic curate Rev Gabriel Calvo set out to learn why some married couples in his parish seemed always close and happy while others were continually battl mg Good communication and sharing of feelings he discovered was the key to successful relationship between husband and wife He enlisted the aid of the happy couples to teach the unhappy ones their special techniques at weekend encounter sessions Two years later Father Calvo came to the United States and presented the movement to seven Spanishspeaking American couples at Chris revive Barrie doctor honored by medical association Dr Ross Turnbull of Barrie was awarded life membership in the Ontario Medical Association last month He is the only Barrie physician to hold that honor The associations board of directors presents the award to medical doctors 65 years or older who have made an outstanding coï¬ibution to the Ontario Medical Association or the medical profession in On tario About 100 Ontario doctors hold the lifemembership award but only one award for Phone 7370232 2627 onclTeIIol lob New York at STEAKS $1 750 every 1000 physicians is presented each year Dr Turnbull past presi dent of the Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeions for 33 years He has been president of the Barrie Medical Associa tion and secretary of the Sims coe County Medical Society He is now medical adviser to the Barrie chapter of St John Ambulance and the Victorian Order of Nurses and member of the Barrie Rotary Club His father Dr Ernest Turnbull received the same award 35 years ago HAMBURGER PATTIES IOIJex $1 590 tian family meeting on Long Island HERc SINCE 1977 That same year the program was translated into English and the movement began to spread into St Louis Los Angeles and other US cities By 1974 it had reached Toronto from Rochester and has been active in Simcoe County since 1977 Paul and Simone Mireault are coordinator for the Catholic expression of Mar riage Encounter in Simcoe County and James and Suzanne Sherry for the Anglicans Both couples admit they were drawn to the movement out of curiosity having learned about it from friends Both men say they went along on their first weekend just to please their wives So impressed were the four with the revitalizaton of their marriage as result of the weekend that they became active team worker in the movement In an interview with the Ex amier both couples stressed that it we important to make clear just what Marriage En counteris not NOT ROUPORIENTED marriage encounter is not marriage clinic is not retreat is not sensitivity group not grouporiented pro gram or not for problem solv ing they insist Instead it is for couples who desire to enrich their mar riages You dont have to be Catholic or an Anglican to go on Marrige Encounter weekend Its 44hour weekend at hotel from Friday evening to Sunday evening designed to give married couples the op portunity to share their feel ings their hopes joys frustra tions and dreams in private atmosphere away from the distractions and tensions of everyday life The focus is on loving com munication between husband and wife series of talks or presenta tions is given by team of trained couples and priest or clergy couple Each talk is designed to give couples an To discuss greatest opportunity to first look at themselves as individuals then to look at their marriage and their relationship together The weekend is oriented strictly to couple dynamics not group dynamics After each presentation the couples have time in the privacy of their rooms for personal sharing Marriage Encounter starts with the love husband and wife have for each other and teaches them certain techni ques designed to build expand and deepen the relationship In Simcoe County alone couples who have been married for as little nine months and as long as 44 years have taken part in the weekends ENDORSED LOCALLY The movement has the en thusiastic endorsement of both Archdeacon Basil Tonks and St Giles Church and Father Len OMalley of Marys Church bbth in Barrie Archdeacon Tonks who has personally attended weekend encounter session said the techniques taught are basically communication where husbands and wives learn to ex press their feelings to each other Father OMalley said the movement gives new ap preciation of the marriage com mitment to each couple When it began in Toronto Archbishop Pocock gave it his blessing and was very sup portive of the team leaders Father OMalley said At time when so many marriage are breaking down the movement is positive force for traditional Christian marriage It doesnt reach everybody but the highest percentage come out of weekend with greatly improv ed relationship Simone Mireault says The reason Paul and are in this is because we are concerned about the growing divorce rate We have to get more positive about marriage Marriage enA counter gets people to stop and look at their relationships And Paul adds We are not teaching course on religion at these weekends We are only reviewing our total relation ships The Mireaults are parents of five children and the Sherrys have three Mrs Mireault says that the gift father and child care problems Information Barrie is in viting local residents who Twork in the field of child care to attend public meeting on Wednesay at the Barrie Public Library The purpose of the meeting to update the services in ormation hear opinions from those in the Child care area and identify ways the service can help The meeting begins at the library at 730 pm For more information contact Gwyn Speers at Information Bar rie 7282662 The Barrie Planning Board will be holding Public Meeting on July IO I979 at 700 PM in the Council Chambers of City Hall to discuss the proposed Site Plan for the Seeder Project located westh Bayfield Street north of Dunlop Street West and east of High Street Planning Board requests public input and discussion on the proposed site plan rezoning Interested persons are invited to attend or write to express their concerns and opinions By CLAUDIA KRAUSE Of The Examiner Rhododendron growers are surveying regions north of Toronto in the pursuit of would be enthusiasts potential members for the Rhododendron Society of Canada Ross Dean of Toronto who grows rhododendrons in the Severn Falls area of Simcoe County where he has summer home has been elected presi dent of the national society Since 1970 he has set up large collection of rhododen drons and azaleas members of the rhododendron family major project for him this year is organizing Georgian Jones SecretaryTreasurer Barrie Planning Board DR BRIAN WESTGARTHTAYLOR is pleased to announce the opening of the BARRIE ANIMAL HOSPITAL for the practice of Veterinary Medicine and Surgery ELECT ROLYSIS BayLakelï¬nclls regipn of thel some IC now tt ST 0f thryee regions in chnddg Qualified Toaqiittlo tNiagara Peninsula an an ic regions WIMEMBERS bThe societal has totalf of aout400etee CONSULTATION saysDean v0 so Appoinfmenfs only Toronto region members 7372671 COTTYS summit have rhododendron plantings in Bruce Grey Dufferin Simcoe and Muskoka counties Some established plantings in the Muskoka Lakes area may Why not come Downtown and fill out an ENTRY FORM before July 14 Midnight Madness DRAW You can Win tat 81m shopping voucher 2nd 50 shopping voucher 3rd shopping voucher PLAIN SWEATERS OH SWEATERS Free Pickup Delivery call 7260259 No purchase necesser Prizes redeemable at at any Member of the Downtown Improvement Board in Barrie CLEANERS LTD locations 217 Dunlap St 50 Essa Rd Earle Plaza WNERE PROFESSIONAL CARE MEANS LONGER WEAR Draw held Tuesday July 17 1979 1m mg for smung Dciwnlown Bane mother can give to their children is to love one another But lets face it she says the very distractions of day today living erode any rela tionship Routine sets in and there goes the romance ROMANCE REGAINED We have to devise ways to put the romance back into mar riage Paul Mireault adds Thats what we teach people at Marriage Encounter weekend James Sherry told the Ex aminer that more than 100000 couples the world over have tken part in Marriage Ens counter weekends In the Toronto area alone the number runs close to 4000 couples and in Simcoe County the movement has grown so quickly that couples are no longer taken to Toronto but are booked into Barrie or Orillia hotels Essentially its Catholic or Anglican weekend but nobody ever asks what you are James Sherry says Inevitably the question of money arises How much does weekend cost and who gets the profits According to the Mireaults Marriage Encounter is non organization There is no ix fee The couples are told at the beginning of the weekend justshow much the rooms and food costs Then they are given blank envelope for donation when the weekend isovqCouples put in what they can afford Lack of money should never stop anybody from attending weekend both sets of zone co ordinators contendlt couple cannot afford the amount men tioned it will be looked after for them Some people give more and this money is used to defray costs of brochures andto help pay the wages of one secretary for the entire Canadian moves ment The weekends are now being held about onCe month Nor mally there is 30day wait bet ween registration and schedul ing $10 fee must accompany the registration form For more information on Marriage Encounter weekends in Simcoe County interested couples may contact Paul or Simone Mireault at 7261797 or James or Suzanne Sherry at 7262544 In Simcoe County Hobby growers promote rhododendrons glory date back 30 to 50 years or more Rhododendrons arent as popular as roses or petunias and were trying to make them more popular says Fred Gallop of Mississauga the societys public relations of ficer Why all this interest KING OF PLANTS Theyre king of the plants just as roses are queen of the lowers says Dean Theyre beautiful plants They live long time and re quire relatively little attention and theyre not subject to much disease says Gallop Also theres challenge in growing them picking the right variety for your area and soil conditions Rhododendrons Gallop ex plains are fine bushes that can reach height of five to six feet although in areas such as British Columbia they are known to reach 30 feet They bloom as early as late April and until the end of June Thats seven or eight weeks Rhododendrons have white lavender bright red or pink blooms while the related azalea blooms can be gold pale pink or white EASILY HOOKEI Most of the societys members started with no more than desire to learn if they could grow rhododendrons THE DONUT PANTRYS by Canada Week Special REGULAR DONUTS 9¢ each $1 00 dozen $1 79 dozen ECLAIRS 35 each COFFEE 30 SOFT DRINKS 25 35 SPECIAL Shakes 69 Effective through July Ethl WERE LOCATED IN THE DUCKWORTN GROVE STREET PLAZA Quinn Emms Mr and Mrs Gerry Quinn of Barrie announce the engagement of their daughter Irene Marie to Jeffrey Allan Emms son of Mr and Mrs Carl Emms of Barrie The wedding is to take place on July l4 at pm at St Marys Church Barrie ProColor Photo is Short Schilling Mr and Mrs James Short of Barrie announce the engagement of their daughter Mary Ethel to Kenneth Schilling son of Mr and Mrs Stuart Ann Landers 38 years still happy Dear Ann The letter from the woman whose husband never stopped talking prompts me to write my first letter to Ann Landers too am married to compulsive talker He needs sounding board and Im glad its me and not the local bar tender or some dizzy blonde He is also compulsive lover By that mean he is very big with spontaneous hugs and kisses In my family when was growing up we loved each other but no one was very demonstrative When we were first married kept telling my husband to stand back and give me room to breathe But learned to live with his hugging and kissing and now couldnt live without it After 38 years of marriage have decided Im very lucky woman especially when hear so many other wives complain that their husbands are unaffectionate These women are starved for love and am wallowing in it Please put this letter in your column know my husband reads it every day and am dying to see if he recognizes us Loved In Michigan PS He also snores but who cares snore too Dear Loved What sweet letter How nice that you were able to change your views and turn the debits in your marriage into credits Theres lesson in there hope those who need it get it Dear Ann Please print this Dear Parent Do you know now where your pieschool child is and what he is doing Are you guilty of sending him out to play when you know he is being taken care of by your neighbors hav family of my own worry when see your child outsidelÂ¥rst at one house then at another or worse yet in the stree also become angry when your child is constantly ringing my bell at inconvenient times Every time turn my head he is there hate to say it but your child IS pest When send him home he returns in ten minutes Sorry dont have the nerve to say this to your face neigh her but Im sure you recognize yourself Im signing this You Know Who You Are car Friend Im not so sure she does know Why dont you tell her who YOU are It would be step toward per sonal growth for you and it might prove helpful to her Dear Ann Landers would like to suggest another ap proach for Drawstring Dolly or anyone else who is asked question he or she would rather not answer Dolly was pregg nant and didnt want to announce it so soon but her nosy aunt put her on the spot Heres the technique First long pause then an in credulous stare Next ask Now why in the world would you ask question like THAT This puts the question right back where it belongs on the shoulders of the oaf who asked it read this ploy many years ago cant remember where andhave used it dozens of times since Please pass it on to your readers so they will no longer be At The Mercy of lods Dear Mercy You read it in my column and am happy to pass it on again Thanks for reminding me Consumers Advgcgte No obligation to take back By JOY WOOLAND returned sweater to the store the day after Id bought it because it didnt fit and cant get my money back What can do Schilling of Kitchener The wedding is to take place July l4 at pm at St Francis Church in Kit chener This announcement appeared incorrectly in Thursdays edition of The Examiner Schellenberg Wright Mr and Mrs David Schellenberg of Barrie an nounce the engagement of their daughter Laura Darlene to Melvin Gordon Wright son of Mr and Mrs Gordon Wright of Midhurst The wedding is to take place July 2i at at 430 pm at Collier Street United Church Barrie Favero Photo This announcement appeared incorrectly in Thursdays edition of The Examiner Mrs Campbell 4873201 Mr and Mrs Duncan Cameron left by bus on June 26 for trip to the West Mr and Mrs Newton Besae left on motor trip to the west with their son Bob June 30th Congratulations to Mr and Mrs John Mason lr on the birth of daughter Jennifer June in Royal Victoria Hospital on June 215i Happy grand parents are Jack and Myrle Mason of Guthrie and Ray and June Ramsay of Baltic Just reminder that the Memorial Service will be held at Guthrie United Church at pm on Sun July 15 with Rev Douglas Muir of Toronto as guest preacher The Male Quartette of Orillia will supply the music ongratulations to Fuda Food Centre who was one of three independent food stores in linznla to win an award of ex cnllcnce from the National liir ounril of niindu Keep it in mothballs until you prepare your Christmas giftbuying list Merchants are under no legal obligation to take back goods unless they are defective or do not meet sales claims When making any purchase the shopper enters into an agreement of purchase and sale so he must ecognize his responsibilities Clothing should always be tried on because the present siz ing system is not reliable Avoid impulse buying especially during sales when refunds or exchanges are rarely made Find out exactly what the stores policy is regarding refunds Sometime the price tag is needed along with the receipt sometime the merchandise must be returned unopened sometimes underwear swimwear hosiery and records will never be taken back We have been spoiled by that sales slogan Satisfaction Guaranteed or Money Refunded but consumers cannot possibly expect such promise from all stores especially the small merchant Check before you buy on the refund policy of the store It should have it prominently displayed on notice near the cashiers booth Studying the latest test results which appear in Consumer Guide magazines available in the library is an added safeguard If consumer has obeyed the instruction rules and still feels that the merchandise doesnt live up to sales claims refund may be justifiably requested within up to six months of the purchase date Pollys Pointer Hot vinegar dulls shine DEAR POLLY noticed small shiny spot on one leg of my daughters best black polyester slack suit after it had been washed and pressed with the steam iron She refuses to wear it because of this spot so wonder if you know of way could remove it ADELINE DEAR ADELINE The following is general rule for removing shine but test it first on your particular fabric Sponge with hot vinegar or ammonia one tablespoon to each quart of water cover with damp cloth and press on the right side Brush when dry if needed POLLY DEARPOLLY do not buy those plastic seethrough shoe boxes but keep my shoes in the boxes they come in paste square of paper the color of the shoes on the end of each box so do not have to open several boxes to find the shoes want Those little squares off paint cards are great to use for this MOLLIE DEAR POLLY am man who is retired and tries to help still working wife as much as can For cheap and handy steamer take an aluminum pie plate of size to fit the pot used pierce the bottom and angled sides with sharp pointed knife at one inch intervals turn the pan bottom up in the pot and quick as flash have an excellent steamer for sausages other meats and vegetables For most effective foot bath whilc showering stole my wifes flat rubber disk sink stopper For dripless plant water container use well washed pumptype hand lotion bottle or even plain old roast baster and tomato can of water MR MRB OLLY turn colander upside down over the skillEtAvthin frying chicken fish or meat The steam can escape but the fat cannot splatter MRS EJ DEAR POLLY For years have used whole cloves rather than moth balls or moth crystals when putting woolens away for the summer have never found moth or seen any damage from them and things smell so much better They can either be scattered loosely among folds or put in small bags cutfrom old nylon hose MHM DEAR READERS have never done this myself but have heard of it many times and plan to give it try POLLY lt v4V