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14 Allslasa AILLoni the examiner Friday May 25 1979 les Editor Claudia Krause7266537 Attitudes felt by children says consultant Many adults consider death more embarrassing than sex Hy CLAUDIA KRAUSE The Examiner Many adults see death as pornographic thing even more of an embarrassment than sex be exposed to this sort of thing As adults we want to be completely in control of situa tions and with death we have no control says Mary Vachon Mrs Vachons own clinical psychiatric nurse consultant work involves helping families with Clarke Institute of Psychiatry Toronto This attitude is projected on children because if their parents wont talk about death children will try to figure death out for themselves she says Ms Vachon currently work ing on PhD in sociology at York University was one of two guest specialists on death at Georgian College Barrie on Wednesday She and Rabbi Earl Grollman of Harvard Universi ty in Massachusetts spoke on the topic of grief bereavement and the child during the day long seminr held in recognition of 1979 as International Year of the Child FEARS IMPOSEI Many of us equate death with suffering We fear death and feel our children should not MARY VACIION lists attitudes VAN KEBOFF IN CONCERT FRIDAY JUNE 11979 presented by Gryphon Theatre Foundation 81 pm Georgian Collage Thaatro HWV 00 at Duckwonh SL Barrie thorn or While tickets la50 and $750 ESERVED SEATSS available at Foundation Office 103 Dunlop St Barrie still few good seats loft Call 1284613 YOU NVE YOUR THEATRE NIGHTS PICKED OUT DONT WAIT SUBSCRIBENOW There are stil some good season tickets left to The Gryphons Great New Show Season Dont miss this opportunity to see all shows at low subscription prices Phone or come in to the office today See great shows for as little as $2 bull Last Chlorinator Ever lave to Buy 1051284613 103 DunlopSt Barrie 16X 32 INGROUND POOL COMPLETELY INSTALLED 5479500 FA NIA SEA POOL COMPLETELY DECKED AND FENCED $38950 PIONEER POOLS RELIABI£ SIGN OF SUMMER FOR YEARS of cancer patients prepare for and deal with death She says many parents refuse to tell children that their father or mother is dying Sometimes the child does not learn of parents death until long after it has happened This behavior reflects adults denial of death To young child death is temporary Children will ask when is mommy or daddy comlt ingback MUST LEARN REALITY Parents must let their children be exposed to the reali ty of death she says Kids can put it all together if we let them doit Although some adults feel childhood should be blissful time in which children should not have to confront death children do know of death Wellknown childrens books such as Charlottes Web Black Beauty Little Women and Tom Sawyer address death situations naturally Practical advice Ms Vachon offers includes letting children continue contact with people who aredying In situations where death is anticipated taking family photos and tapes will help children cope after the death Adults sometimes feel children grasp little and need not be told much she says but in fact kids very clearly remember the past MAY CAUSE PROBLEMS If death is dismissed without comment children will put the pieces together for themselves and perhaps develop deep misunderstandings She says children should be allowed to partiicpate in the death Serous emotional pro blems can result in children when they are excluded by their grieving parents Often when one parent dies the child loses both one to death the other to grief she says Ms Vachon says studies show many children feeling that their parents are no longer available to them will do poor ly in school ordrrop out run away from home develop physical symptoms gain weight or girls may become pregnant The daylong seminar includ ed an afternoon panel discus sion with moderator Ken Heron of the Simcoe County Childrens Aid Society and panel members Jean Mockford Rev James Thompson Paul and Dr Cormode SnoVoyageurs choose 197980 executive The new 197980 executive of the SnoVoyageurs Snowmobile Club was chosen during Mays general meeting Executive members are Ross Edmonstone president Eldon Somerville vicepresident Marie Wilson recording secretary Nancy Edmonstone YOUR INVITATION PRESENTATION JUNE 13th Blue Flame Room Consumers Gas NAYS TRAVEL 7284700 BUY OUR 699 AUTOMATIC CHLORINATOR FOR JUST $5995 AND LIFETIME WARRANTY The Clean Water Feeder is so simple its almost foolproof it has no moving parts tobreak No floats tostick Easy to install Just fill the feeder with Water Washers and set the dial Constant feed rate keeps your pool in great shape EECEEXE 4o WORTH OF CHLORINE ABSOLUTELY FREE correspondence secretary and Mary Helstern treasurer Mike Bokesch is trails chair man while Bill Wilson is bylaw officer and Lynn Grotto is waysandmeans chairman Other officers are Alice Hickling social convener Jan irwin publicity director Hazel Henry bulletin editor Gord Hickling and Dave Bell Huronia representatives Harris Harold Hickling central zone representatives and John Pat terson clubhouse chairman WATCH FOR NEW LOCATION OF BARRIE LICENCE BUREAU DOWNTOWN CENTRE Eric Kennedy and 50th wedding anniversary Harold and Lilly Williams parents of Bob Williams and Pat Merson of Barrie celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with garden party in Barrie on Saturday The couple received numerous presents as well as plaques from Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau Premier Bill Davis and Mayor John Sewell of Toronto Examiner Photo wedding album EvansSeddon Rosemary Louise Seddon and Russell Evans were married at St Marys Church Barrie on May 19 The bride is the daughter oer and Mrs Ted Sed don of Barrie and the groom is the son of Mr and Mrs Peter Evans of Wasaga Beach Matron of honor was Katie Nasso of Toronto Best man was Bruce Evans brother of the groom reception was held at Barrie Golf and Country Club The Couple now live in Victoria BC arrovil TRUCK AND CAR RENTALS now AVAILABLE his mum AREA TRACTORS AND CARS We invite you to compare CONTACT RM NAYIER FERRIS LANE BARRIE ONT PNONE 72645 or 7264982 LOSINGWEIGHIIS IIECARDS WEIGHT WATCHERS RECIPE CARD SET GET decorated bicycle contest Pet show sales contests at Hillsdale Spring Fair Hillsdale and District Spring West Central Public School Fair begins on June with pet show at 11 am at Medonte will be held at noon for four age groups five years and under six to eight years nine to 11 years and 12 years and older From 1230 to pm events include bake sale craft sale flea market games slide presentation on the history of Hillsdale There will be snack bar and tea room as well as dunking machine An outside dance on the school tarmac will be held from pm to am The fair is sponsored by the school Hillsdale United Church Presbyterian Chruch Lions Club Womens Institute Girl Guides and Brownies as well as the Hillsdale Historical Society Funds raised support pro jects of the sponsoring organizations people place Polio clinic Simcoe County Health Units clinic continues tonight to 930 pm at Bayfield Mall in Barrie for adults who have not had polio innoculations in the last five years Spring plant sale Oro Township Horticultural Society is holding aspring plant sale at Oro Township Hall Saturday from to4 pm Dona tions will be appreciated Society members will again display flowers at Simcoe County Museums spring festival Midhurst on Sunday The next open meeting of the society will be held June 11 at pm Agnes Millward will show slides and talk about how to grow good perennials Anyone interested is welcome to attend Sale at market Barrie Horticultural Society will hold Spring Plant Sale at the market on Mulcaster Street from to 11 am on Saturday The society will not hold fall plant sale so members are ask ed to bring all their surplus plants Conveners are Anne Huitema and harold Hyne 18FIABOVE GROUND 20 MIL LINER 5YRWALL BARRIE North Barrie Plaza 7264606 New in Town Youll find friend where you BY ATTENDING TWELVE CONSECUTIVE PAID MEETINGS BETWEEN MAY 211979 AND SEPTEMBER 14 I979 LIFETIME MEMBERS CAN RECEIVE THIS SPECIAL RECIPE SET BY ATTENDING SIX MEETINGS BETWEEN MAY 211979 AND NOVEMBER 30 1979 see this Sign 12 Exciting categories Hundreds of delicious Legal recipes Durable full color plastic coated recipe cards Attractive decorative tile case with clear seethrouah top Index Book and color divider cards Plus much more WEIGHT WATCHERS can LVthX II Lulu For more Information call Wonk 7286748 BARBIE Royal Canadian Legion Wednesday 730 pm WESTIT WATCHERS IS THE REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF WEIGHT WATCHERS IN TERNATIONALINC MANHASSEI NY WEIGHT WATCHERS INTERNATIONAL l978 Dear Ann Twenty years ago my husband had child out of wedlock We never spoke of the incident after we married When our son was born it was very painful for me to accept the fact that he had brother or sister somewhere in the world he would never know Our son is now an adult Should he be told Only one relative knows about the outofwedlock child It would be tremendous shock to the others if they should learn of it My wish is to bury the past forever think it would save lot of grief What are your thoughts on the subject Heavy On My Mind Dear IL believe the only way to rid yourself of this burden is for you and your husband to tell your son together Ask the boy to keep it to himself If one relative knows theres always the chance that the secret will leak Your son might resent the fact that you kept it from him Dear Ann Landers Id like to say word about subject have never seen discussed in your column computers Computers are fast and almost always accurate They are excellent tools but unfortunately they are only as good as the humans who operate them People frequently make mistakes which show up in computerized bills and statements Heres some advice If computerized bill is wrong and you point it out to the business establishment and they say Were sorry Well take care of it right away fine If you are told Its the computers fault and these things take time close your account and let them know why Im programmer who works with computers every day When hear someone say Its the computers fault burn Humans operate computers and humans can correct them if they want to Nobodys Perfeet Dear NF Your letter couldnt have come at better time am having hassle with computer error at this very moment Im going to send them YOUR letter Bless you Dear Ann am terribly ashamed of my problem lam 57 years old and have been married to my husband for 29 years We have four grown children My husband was always compulsive worker never felt the need for vacations In recent years he has become dis agreeable and impossible to please He fusses about every thing our sons occupation the men our daughters married his office help my playing duplicate bridge once week etc Frank had major heart attack in 1970 Is it possible that this has something to do with his grumpiness The man is really making me sick Ive always had happy disposition but lately cry lot and have trouble sleeping He has driven our children away from us When they visit Frank finds fault constantly and picks fights have gone for counselling and was told to get involved in outside activities take trip do needlework develop my own interests When do volunteer work Frank fusses Last night mentioned taking an art class and he hit the ceiling As for trip could not enjoy going off and leaving him alone need help Sedalia Mo Dear Sedalia Frank should return to his doctor His behavior suggests that he may have had series of small strokes Regardless of the reason for his behavior the coun sellor gave you good advice hope you take it Erma Bombeck Lists rules for swimming By ERMA BOMBECK Every year like to set goals for myself This year is no exception For 1979 vowed would find inner peace study the religions of the world buy bathing suit was going to compromise the third goal when got out my old twopiece bathing suit this year Only one piece of it fit me It is not important for anyone to know which piece it was It is sufficient to say that if appeared in it in public it would totally destroy my aura of mystery dont buy new bathing suit every year It isnt because it represents major purchase It is because if wanted that kind of pain Id run the Boston Marathon or give birth in Volkswagen To begin with am never psychologically ready for the styles When heard that this years bathing suits were one piece had an entirely different concept in my mind as to what they would look like Imagine my surprise when picked up onepiece suit and it caught on my ring finger The nymphs who appear in the ads lead me to believe the artist is sketching from memory There hasnt been girl with those measurements since Scarlett OHara trussed herself into 16inch corset To survive the summer at the pool had to devise list of Rules for Swimming Never frequent pools with fulllength mirrors in the dressing room Do not go into the pool area until you have seen three women who look more rotten than you do in suit If someone is wearing the same floral suit do not stand close unless her flowers are opened at the same size as ours Make sure the chlorine foot bath is deep enough to tread water in Do not go into the water until three hours after youve eaten or your stomach goes down whichever comes first beach ball folding chair and an air mattress may seem cumbersone but when worn cover the effects of long winter When sunning hold child on your lap If swim suits get any more daring may have to learn how to swim and hug the bottom of the pool Pollys Pointers Vinegar lifts glue marks PCLLYS PROBLEM DEAR POLLY bought some permanent press halter tops for my daughter that had little tagsglued on them telling what they were made of When removed the tags the glue stayed on the tops Each one has sticky circle would like to know how to remove this glue so she can wear the tops KI DEAR KP Try rubbing alcohol and If that does not do It then soak each spot In but white vinegar POLLY DEAR POLLY Instead of discarding that old plastic clothes basket cut it off near the bottom and have waterproof tray to hold house plants JOANNE DEAR POLLY Grease muffin tins before lining them with paper cups press the cups against the bottom and sides and they put lot better while they are being filled MRS EWM DEAR POLLY Have you ever tried using wornout nylon hose or pantyhose for cleaning off bathtub rings They really do the job This Pointer is for those who have trouble bending over or those of us who get bit lazy when itcomea to dusting the baseboards Just put pair of old socks on your feet and dust away one foot at time of course Since the odor of fish cooking is so strong boil mixture of half vinegar and half water on the stove while am frying the fish The mixture ls later ured Into the frying gen to soak as well as get rid of the OJ In the pan MRS DEAR POLLY Dogs so often tear trash bags apart and then spread the debris all over the lawn have discovered an easy way to prevent this that In harmless to the animals filled an empty spray container with ammonia and when put out bag of rubbish spray It thoroughly with the ammonia and after one whiff they leave and do not venture back MERRILEE