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the examiner ATLIunday August 1979 Simcoe Count CAS helluva good agency Social workers draw from each other to cope with daily family services work Heron By CLAUDIA KRAISE Of The Examiner Simcoe County Childrens Aid Society is helluva good agen cy explains Rev Ken Heron social worker with the agency for seven years and member of its child abuse team On Oct he begins in the new position of supervisor with Muskoka District Childrens Aid Society in Bracebridge Ive made closer friends in Barrie than have anywhere else The older you get the harder it is to change Mr Heron who left 10 years of fulltime ministerial work behind him to join the agency says he didnt know what pressure was about until he began family services work for the county You wouldnt survive alone on job like this Fellow workers provide super sup port structure They become your friends We draw tremendous amount from each other he says The agency in Simcoe County functions out of an office in the county administration building in Midhurst with total staff of Sears CORRECTION In the Sears Get Your Moneys Worth Rate an Page 28 the girls pc skirt set in sizes to No advertised for $999 is not available We regret any inconvenience this may have caused our customers about 40 persons clerical help 55 ASES AVERAGE Social workers handle an average 55 cases each but Mr Heron says that as member of the child abuse team he has handled about 35 to 40 cases Thats been bit of lux ury but in theory the four including abuse team members were to have reduced caseloads because of the nature of the cases For Mr Heron leaving the county also means discontinu ing his ministry at three chur ches north of Barrie Guthrie Presbyterian Oro Station and r0 Central He has been busy like be ing busy to the point where still have something left to give to people he says Among family services workers he says one of the big gest risks is burning out of energy and feeling frustrated Many have trouble detaching themselves emotionally from their work You learn to detach little bit but you never learn to detach totally There are nights when you go home worrying about what you can do It helps being little older which is what Mr Heron con siders himself to be at age 44 Parents who abuse children usually weak needy persons In his past seven years with Simcoe County Childrens Aid Society Rev Ken Heron member of the agencys abuse team says he has seen almost every kind of injury inflicted upon children by their parents Children have suffered inter nal injuries to the head bruis ing broken limbs burns and one child was blinded Why The theory is that these parents themselves have been inadequately parented They look to their children to fulfill their needs and they punish their children when they fail says Mr Heron The introduction four years ago of child abuse team for the county is one of the main progressive changes Mr Heron has seen during his years in family services work HOD call 7281991 DRAPERIES cum llMlIED For shop at home The team was the agencys response to emerging awareness of child abuse although the problem has ex isted for many years Under the supervision of David Gordon four social workers handle about 130 abuserelated cases Mr Heron says each year the agency sees 25 to 30 per cent increase in the number of incidents reported PUBLIC IMAGE WRONG Ive found the public image of the abusing parent is of monster of someone criminally insane but actually these parents are weak and needy persons who often are hopeless ly dissatisfied with life he says When you see these people its hard to hate them although no one can condone what they do to their children I9 Dunlop St Barrio Ontario Read the fine print on your light beer OnlyTriIight has 60 calories Check the label on your light beer and see how it stacks up against Trilight Know what youll find When it comes to light beer Nobody brews it lighter Often the children are un wanted or parents fail to feel bond between themselves and their children Most abused children are under three years old he says The children at that age are vulnerable to physical and mental abuse because parents can keep their child from view of the outside world Mr Heron says he feels sorry for young mothers who have the myth imposed upon them that loving and caring for their children should come naturally We have prenatal classes but weve never helped the young mother learn to cope afterwards Post natal classes are as important if not more important Frequently mothers are left to raise their children on their Home beautification Barrie residents are invited to enter their own homes or others into the Barrie Hor ticultural Societys Home Beautification Contest ElECIROLYSlS Complimentary consultation wrth test treatment IYDIA HRENCHUK Qualified member of AEAIA0 7372671 own and when there is part ner he is often unsupportive more liability than an asset says Mr Heron Simcoe County Childrens Aid Society workers attempt to set up links between the parents and the community through volunteer parentaid program Other areas have begun Parents Anonymous groups but Mr Heron suggests the population base locally is too small for an effective program Despite new legislative changes Mr Heron says there is long way to go before childrens rights can be effec tively ensured Anyone who works with children knows exactly what that means The area can be ef fectively ensured Anyone who works with children knows exactly what that means The area needs total rethinking There are some token gestures in the Child Welfare Act but weve hardly started he said The first right of child is to be child and be spared the responsibility of making adult decisions but also to be lov ed consistently dealt with and to be secure The United Nations declara tion of International Year of the Child contains good ideas he says Some parents came to the decision over period of years that they cant cope with the responsibility of parenthood says Mr Heron In this case child can be placed in another home by the agency as solution for both parents and child LEARN TO HOPE He says however that the function of social workers is to help people learn how to hope Theyve been put down repeatedly and some interpret the agencys arrival as one more putdown Mr Heron says finding the strength in people and wat ching them become functioning adults again is satisfying His seven years with Simcoe County Childrens Aid Society have been extremely rewar ding says Mr Heron find myself doing things that really matter TOPS meeting Take Off Pounds Sensiva or TOPS meets every Wednesday evening at pm at St Giles Church 95 Cook St Barrie The meeting begins after members have recorded their new weights Rev Ken Heron who has been family services field worker with Simcoe County Childrens Aid Society for seven years leaves soon to take up new position as supervisor with the Muskoka District Childrens Aid Society in Bracebridge Dur ing his years in Simcoe County the local agency formed child abuse team of which he is member Examiner Photo heme1t BaldockHenry Mr and Mrs Baldock and Mr and Mrs Henry announce the engagement of their children Karen and Stephen The wedding is to take place Aug 25 at Essa Road Presbyterian Church Barrie Steingard Photo Sons of Scotland organize activities for reenactment With funding from lnnisfil Township the town of Bradford and West Gwillimbury Township the Sons of Scotland Lovat Camp of Barrie organiz ed official activities at lnnisfil Park last Friday reports Alex llIi Recorded Scottish music played until the reenactment of the arrival of Lt Gov John Himes Simcoe played by llmrles Ilumber ilic Simcoe party was piped illfllt by the Barrie and llgtllll Pipes and Drums lllllil Jerry Mountford drum iiizijoi and Bob Haley pipe major lliree standard bearers led lie group to the stage Ken Wood Bradford Iieeve carry Hill the Royal Standard of Siliilillld John Fennel West liwillimbury reeve carrying ll lnion Jack and Grant An linole lnnisfil deputy reeve or ing the Canadian flag liaw lltYlllC Lovat amp iillll escorted lit Gov Sim ilit Alex Sim past chief of Lovat amp welcomed and introduc ttl the offiCial party to the illlltll visitors Following welcoming speeches by the reeves and Iiw me John Fisher of the John liraye Simcoe Foundation ilillllll the foundations aims invl brief history of Lt Gov NIHUX llumber as Lt Gov Simcoe her spoke of his journeys and pleasure at being extended iich warm welcome by the meinbled Scots Eleanor Reid descendant lillt of the original Scottish Nlkllk settlers introduced others whose descendants had settled in the area now known West Gwillimbury loasis were proposed to King itllrgf Ill King George IV and Queen Elizabeth 185 well llur Native Lands and Our Adopted Country says Sim Ann Landers PhonecaHs upset mother Dear Ann Landers know you have married daughter who lives in California so maybe you can put yourself in my place and help me with this problem My daughter lives in California too live in Indianapolis Molly calls me every Sunday Nice Well maybe Just listen to therest of it Its always the same conversation Hello Ma how are you Then she asks if anybody died She is not interested in what am doing and she never tells me what she is doing Before get chance to say anything Molly says Ill put the kids on then get both kids at once They holler Hello Granlt dma The dog wants to talk to you have to sit and listen to lot of whining and barking which means the kids are pulling his tail or hitting him No dog barks for five minutes without reason dont want to hang up because someone might say some thing Sol am stuck on the longdistance telephone listening to dog which is no pleasure Please tell me how to handle this Hate To omplain Dear IIT The next time Molly phones ask her to put the dog in another room before she calls again Tell her you arent interested in listening to the dog bark Then tell her what you told me You dont mention the ages of your grandchildren If they are seven years of age or older they can tell you what they have been doing Most children will talk if you know how to turn them on Get the hang of it Gran Dear Ann Landers Please settle an argument Did you say the following Nobody knows why girls want showoff weddings It works their mothers to death It runs their fathers into debt and adds to their burdens It makes the bride haggard with anxiety so that invariably she looks homelier than she does at any other time My friend claims Ann Landers wrote this in one of her col umns long time ago and she clipped it out say it was Dorothy Dix but cant recall the year Can you straighten us out Belle And Jean In San Diego Dear and Although it sounds like something might say agree wholeheartedlyl did not say it If Dorothy Dix said it she said it before 1948 She died that year If your friend insists she read it AFTER 1948 dont argue with her believe many papers continued to run Dorothy Dixs column after her death They used other writers of course but none was as good as Dorothy Dear Ann Landers This is father writing not mother need advice on what to do about our 11yearold son Last night saw him take dollar out of my wallet which was on the dresser He didnt know was in the doorway He put the money in his sock asked him twice to give it back He insisted he didnt have it When told him to look in his sock he confessed Later that night he cut himself with letter opener to get pity The boy receives an allowance and doesnt need to steal think he has done this sort of thing before What should do No City Please Dear NP Children who steal from parents are usually seeking substitute for love The boy cut himself not to get pity but to punish himself urge you to gel counselling so you can better understand your childs motional needs Erma Bombeck Lose child gain closet it have always been led to belledial if you lose daughter or son to an apartmeiitaolniiorybarracks you gain closet An extra closet is big thing with parents Sometimes it makes the difference between sleeping with set of golf clubs or eating dinner every night with box of sewing scraps on your lap When our children were younger sometimes my husband and would sneak into their bedrooms as they slept We would gaze at their closet as squeezed his hand and smiled Just think dear one day all of that will be yours We fantasized about the time each of us would have rod of our own for clothes shelf without Christmas decorations floor space without boxes marked RA1N SOAKEI HALLOWEEN MASKS and EXPIRED WARRANTIES When the first child peeled off we waved goodlch and ran to her c10set We couldnt get the door open When we did we couldnt get it closed There were dolls animalshaped pil lows old records that would one day be classics traffic signs posters and 15 or 20 boxes marked DO NOT TOUCH When the second child relocated we spoke openly of the closet and what we would do when it was vacated We soon lost hope when he wheeled bicycle into our closet and said dont have room to store it in my closet and if leave it out in the garage itll get ripped off Today dont think anyone can touch us on closet occu pancy Weve been running at capacity for nearly 30 years We are storing composition books timed and unlined 2080 friendship pictures fuzzy dogs rubber worms graduation tassels rugs from Disneyland pennants fins sandfilled cameras basketballs kites dogeared letters college cata logues tennis trophies and licence plates All know is Im sick of the battle Im sick of wearing clothes that look like theyve been laminated sick of having children come back to visit their drums Sick of falling over tennis rackets without string and jackets that dont fit any one Lel the word go out when go if dont have closet of my own Im not going Pollys Pointers Alcohol lifts urine stain DEAR POLLY hope some reader knows how to remove urine stains from mattress have such stains on mattress and box springs and cannot afford to have them replaced LEE DEAR LEE You did not mention Iny lingering odor so presumably there are only status to deal with One has to be very careful not to saturate the mattress and to leave it out in the air to thoroughly dry before using again Try rubbing the stain with piece of terry cloth that In been dipped in rubbing Ilcohol If thlI doel not work CAREFULLY Iponge ItIinI with detergent IudI rinse with clear wIter min In little II poulhlc Ind then follow with Iponging with bleach solution Dry II rIpidly II poulble aim remain why not put new fitted mitten pId over the mIttreII POLLY DEAR POLLY To cut corn off the cob stand the tip end of the cob in the hole in your angel food cake pan Ind with Iharp knife cut from the butt end to the tip Hold the corn It slight angle and most of the kernels will fall in the pIn thus Ivolding big art of thIt messy cleInup When you so to beach tIke Ilong Cln of talcum gzwder and powder legs and arms to IIy nothing of bys bottom When It comes time to brth off the und the powder absorbs the dampness and brushes off like charm FLORENCE DEAR POLLY My Pet Peeve wII the high root of cheaper wash cloth and their short life IpIn To one pIyin such prices made wash cloth out of worn towolI turne the ed as over Ibout quarter of In inch Ind ltttched LADEE DEAR POLLY hId favorite knit drou thIt wII too Ihort so cut it off Ibout inch below the wIiIt ut in tnch hem and the TIhlrtI roIlly like This is good way to reuse little girlI dresses MRS MCS