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Paint Your Wagon Huronia Players perform their first musical, 'Paint Your Wagon' at Sacred Heart School er ae The last word in 'how to' books: Bliss of a Kiss by Pat McGee And now for the last word in how-to books, The Art of Kissing by Hugh Morris. Although written in a serious tone, the messages this' book delivers are hilarious. We are not living in an age of romance and even if we were, kissings seems to be naturally instinctive, so it seems absurd that we should need such a book. Morris defends his book by saying that birth control, divorce and yes, even kissing are no longer "allowed to fester in the dark chambers of cen- sorship."' He notes that little has been written on why not. In case the reader is perplexed or bewildered Morris clearly belongs to the male-chauvinist pig school of thought but his why people touch lips in remarks are worth germ-infested union, reading for their Book review Morris provides a handy quaintness and answer in chapter three: amusement. The male "It is the hunger of sex kisser "must be able to that drives them (the sweep her into strong impassioned kissers) to each other. After that hunger (kissing) has been satiated, then comes the hunger for a home, for children and for marital happiness.'"' Is Morris a May 25-28 the subject of kissing but Harlequin Romance he doesn't stop to ponder __ addict? Movie review by Terry Dupuis Noon Till Three is with From Noon Till Theatre in Midland is the director, incidentally, is Charles Bronson spent basically a comedy- Three at the Pen is the highly acclaimed movie Franklin Schaffner, the his early years as a westerninwhich Bronson latest Peter Sellers version of Ernest. director of Patton. Patton deprived child of a family proves himself to be comedy, The Pink of course won 8 Academy of impoverished coal- miners.. Throughout the 1950's he played bit parts in dozens of Hollywood movies. In the '60's Bronson got bigger roles, but he was still a sup- porting player. In the 70's, Bronson became one of the highest-paid and most popular box-office stars of the decade. In the past seven years Charles Bronson has starred in a fast suc- cession of flicks, among them Chato's Land, The Mechanic, The Stone Killer, Mr. Majestyk, Death Wish, Breakout, Breakheart Pass and St. Ives. Whether a western or a modern-day crime drama, Bronson has always played basically the same character over and over again: an ex- pression-less quiet-sp- oken man of action. There has. been a_ certain sameness to all his movies and roles in recent years. In his newest movie, From Noon Till Three, Bronson tries something different and the results are gratifying. From astonishingly good at handling a comedy role. From Noon Till Three is an. original story by Frank Gilroy, best- remembered as_ the author of the famous play The Subject Was Roses. Gilroy also directs From Noon Till Three, marking his debut as a director. In the movie he examines in a mocking sarcastic manner the way in which romantic myths were created in the old West, how the reality was so much different and how various people cashed in on the myth. Bronson's co-star is his wife Jill Ireland. They have acted together many times in the past, but never as well as they do in From Noon Till Three. They are clearly having the time of their lives in it, and it was obviously a project they enjoyed making. Funny, romantic, mocking and touching, From Noon Till Three is one of the finest entertainments Charles Bronson has ever provided for his audience. The companion feature BEGINNING MAY 1 Merv Buchanan's AFTERNOON fo il PARTY MUSIC, LIGHTS, ATHENIAN HALL SUNDAYS 1:30 p.m.-5:30 p.m. ead 322-2890 All Pictures Subject To Unavoidable Change. oe @ e (3) DRIVE-IN THEATRE . ° @ Now open 7 days a week Starts Friday May 20 at Dusk Winner, Loser, Lovey | The story you only think you know. Winner, Loser, Lover, Loudmouth...THE MAN Plus Lords of Flatbush Sunday May 22 4 big pictures The Greatest Lords of Flatbush Torture Garden Curse of the Mummy's Tomb AEE ie Sas a Page 10, Wednesday, May 18, 1977 Panther Strikes Again. Sellers repeats his role as the bungling Inspector Clouseau, a role he previously played in The Pink Panther, A Shot In The Dark and Return of the Pink Panther. The results this fourth time are equally hilarious. Coming To The Odeon Midland: Coming to the Odeon PEN THEATRE Wed., Thrs.,Fri., Sat., May 18-19-20-21 From Noon till Three plus Pink Panther Strikes Again Sat. matinee 2 p.m.8 Yog -Monster from Outer Space Sun. ONLY 5 feature special Mon., Tues. 23-24 Maid to Order plus Cail Girl AOMITTANCE to 18 YEARS OF AGE O8 OVER Hemingway's last novel. Islands In The Stream is a fine human drama which provides George C. Scott with his greatest roles since Patton. The offe 'Sy... Escorted Motorcoach Tours | Spring-Summer - Fall Western Canada Jasper ¢ Banff * Yellowstone 23 Days Departures in June, July, August & September With many of them visiting the Calgary Stampede Awards back in '1970, Indications are that with Islands In The Stream, Scott and Schaffner may have an equal triumph this year. Maritimes 12 Days Departs every Monday June 6 to Sept 19th, 1977 Inclusive $450. per person (twin) Maritimes & Newfoundland 18 Days Departures in July, August & September $655. per person (twin) Also many departures to New England, Florida, California, Virginia, Kentucky, Georgia, Tennessee & Penn Dutch NEW! 6 Day Ontario Tour For Free 1977 Brochure Contact your local licensed Travel Agent. He knows who we are. chav ¢ The - frase 0 as gridat. Ma Twente afl: the time aul piasic + Huron s u vce ym SO arms, and tower over her, and look down into her eyes and cup her chin in his fingers and then bend over her face and plant his eager, virile(?) lips; slightly parted on her inviting ones."' He then goes on to say if the man has the bad luck of being shorter in stature than his sweetheart a kiss is reduced to nothing for "the male prerogative is gone, the _ physical mastery is gone."' Other informative facts in the chapter on the Approved Methods of Kissing include "babies are not the result of kisses" and "Woman is so physically constituted that she is the one who bears the child.' These are handy things to know when you are wooing or being wooed. Another helpful hint from Morris; All women like to be flattered "even when the mirror throws the lie back in their ugly faces." He _ suggests cornball lines like telling her she has hair that smells like heady wine. But the reader may find such sayings are the direct result of watching too many late movies. Morris doesn't away from the more controversial subjects such as whether or not you should keep your eyes open while smooching. He confesses to be an open- eye kisser, basing his argument on the joy of seeing those "fleeting spasms of happiness flit across her eyes." The Art of Kissing is a very complete book. It includes the nip kiss, the shy HURONIA PLAYERS PRESENT PAINT YOUR WAGON by Lerner & Lowe Sacred Heart School, William St., Midland Curtain 8:00 p.m. May 25th-28th Adults: $2.50 Huronia Office Supply Johnstone's Music Land Mac's Milk, Huronia Mall Tickets available at: Midland Students: $1.25 The Elm Flower Shoppe, Elmvale Gignac's Children's Wear Penetang DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF THE '40's played by the P.S.S. 18-piece dance band May 20/77-Midland Civic Centre 9:00 p.m. - $ l 0.00 per couple Tickets available at: Proceeds. to P.S.S. Yearbook. Luncheon included 1:00 a.m. Johnstone's Music Land Ted Light's TV Refreshments available clete fue 93" CV rinests i charler ist nar hes ininuy i f our compan (977 scandalous French kiss, the eyelash kiss, the vacuum kiss (hang on to your fillings) anda host of others. It even features a complete chapter on How to Kiss Girls with Dif- ferent Sizes of Mouths which should be required reading for future Casanovas. Morris urges the reader to put variety into his kissing, after all he says, it's the spice of life. Man is the only animal that kisses and for- tunately for men and women, kisses are free. Even if you don't agree with Morris on most points you will be en- tertained and may come away with a new ap- preciation for kissing. His ideas drip with romance but it is not until reading the afterword that it is discovered that Morris wrote the original in 193 and it sold like hotcakes, The book has _ been reprinted with illustrations and now it's sold as humor, not a serious kissing manual. It is obvious that people no longer regard kissing as the heavenly bliss Morris describes. D the moment of ectasy*¥ou will "in all probability go faint because the blood in your veins will be rushing furiously into your system and away from your head." But you must remember this, a kiss is but a kiss.... PLAYING TIL TUESDAY The fear is CASSANDRA _ CROSSING ODEON THEATRE King St., Midland Nightly 7&9 p.m. 526-5791 91,000 People JOHN CASSAVETES "TWO-MINUTE WE2NINE 33 Exit Gates. TWE-MINUTE CWTHE ERAVWV IW ADVENTURES OF DRIVE IN THEATRE LOOK HERE FOR "Dining G Entertainment Music by Helmut Tietz and His XG Steak _ Bavarian House - Enjoy our specialty of German Cuisine with a Canadian Taste Excellent Dining Facilities overlooking beautiful Georgian Bay Open for meals daily: 12 noon - Sunday: 12 noon to 10 pm. Contemporary German Disco Located two miles past Martyrs sic from Midland, Hwy. 12 and Con. Rd. 4 Dancing Fri. & Sat. 9 pm. to 1 am. (Only Restaurant in area mentioned in ' Book "Where to eat in Canada 76-77) 534-3202 WATERGATE Midnight tudio 67 House & Tavern Offers the finest steaks. seafood and service. Fully licensed. Business Men's Luncheon Monday-Friday 12-2:30 p.m, Open Sunday 12:00-10 p.m. Weekend entertainment Reservations call 549-8671 Main St., Waterfront Penetanguishene The Watergate The Watergate Restaurant prides itself on its fine cuisine and its excellent service.