The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

i lh BE SRO Eh a BS 8 by Ray Baker You gentle readers will be overjoyed to hear that you can now buy cowboy hats 'pre-sweated'. The latest fad started in Texas when the proprietor of a gentlemen's clothiers apparently sold two new hats in mint condition. The two new owners (described as weirdo) promptly took the hats outside and threw them in the gutter. Having jumped on them for some time they reduced them to a suitable 'skid row' condition. All that remained was to scrape them along the nearby stone wall to give them the final touch. Away they went, as 'happy as sandboys. t"g.The enterprising store owner, realizing the bls potential of this untapped market, im- Mt ediately put in hand an aging process which guaranteed a 'fourteen years old look'. The only thing missing on the original two hats was the sweat marks. As he said, "the sweat marks were a must. The clientel buying the hats were definitely not the type to create their own sweat, but simply wanted the 'sweaty gear'. This of course opens up a whole new world. Let us ponder (short for Ponderosa) for a minute, the new vista in what the well dressed male should wear, and indeed what constitutes a well dressed man. The well dressed man could be defined I suppose as a man 'authentic in appearance' whatever the lifestyle he has chosen to portray for himself. If you want an 'instant veteran cowboy' well here goes. From top to toe THE HAT..Has been made from new material with gold trim. And leather shoelace under the chin. Chemically died around the crown with a 75 per cent sand and 25 per cent salt mixture for sweat, and dried under extreme heat. Internal conveyors within the factory are not used, the hats being swept from room to room until they hit the shipping door. There they are loaded onto a well used stockyard wagon. A layer of hats then a layer of dung impregnated straw. And so on until it is 'full to the brim' (no pun intended) in the store they are carelessly thrown in a corner. The leather shoelace is being bitten by hand as it were. A local dental technician using these to test the 'bite' on his customers dentures. The price of course is now double that of a new hat in mint condition. THE DENIM JACKET...This pathetic looking mess is made from new denim and machine washed one hundred times with random bleach exposure. The armpits are carefully dyed deep black with grey edges, or white. (State second choice) to simulate desert ravages. The cuffs are Instant veteran Cowboy now frayed on a wire wheel formerly used to burnish metal. The left sleeve just above the elbow has a genuine bullet hole in one side only. We all know that in the best movies our hero always gets shot in the arm just above the elbow and manages to fight on. For left handers the hole is available in the right sleeve at extra cost. A tobacco pouch with hanging drawstring is inserted in the breast pocket complete with tag. For non-smokers the string and tag only are sewn into the pocket for appearance. THE PANTS...Unless enough material is exhumed from the Salvation Army or St. Vincent the Paul, new mismatched material must be used. They are converted through 'muddies' to "'srubbies'. Patched by a genuine blind tailor, they are carefully shredded at the cuffs. The fly area is ground away to a threadbare condition to simulate 'saddle pommel' wear. A permanent press 'bowleg' effect is completed, and all that remains is a sprinkling of saddle soap before being crumpled in a heap for shipment. THE BOOTS...These are the 'piece of resistence' of the ensemble. What every well dressed dude should wear. Lasted with love by craftsmen in Nogales Mexico they are hand- tooled on the uppers. Each boot is ground down at the heels to show twenty years hard riding. As the new soles have been produced with a hole in the sole, a simple insertion of cardboard makes them 'street legal'. Having been dragged across a desert testing ground by new cars under test they are ready for the final touch...inpregnation with synthetic steer dung for the life of the boot. The smell is guaranteed to carry the length of the long branch saloon bar. NOTE...Mock 'stripes' from match striking are available on the right or left seat of the pants or on the boot sole at additional cost. And that does it. You can now be classed as well dressed, or at least authentic looking. I guess we're just lucky at our house though, we don't have this problem. All the kids clothes are always like this. The more decrepid they are, the more they love them. Pity about the cowboy outfit though. It now makes thousands of cowboy films out of date. It used to be that the good guys wore the white hats, and the bad guys wore the black. Now it's been reversed. Ah well, that's progress. Ray Baker is a Manager at Midland's RCA plant and a freelance writer for Markle Com- munity Newspapers. He and his family live in Penetanguishene... The old and the new background is, of course, the Bricklin which has been for sale at a local car dealer's. The comparison happened at the Antique Car Show held Sunday at the Penetang Curling Club. Staff photo Here's a look at the old and the new you won't see very often. In the foreground is Toronto's oldest hot rod, a mixtute of everything from a 1927 Model T body to a 1950 Oldsmobile motor. In the Use the classifieds! = cor 1 week included 10: © cor 1 week included Huronia Travel Service OFFERS SPECIALLY PRICED SPRING/SUMMER PACKAGES Prices Effective April 24th FLORIDA BONUS : FREE HOTEL NIGHT BY DISNEY WORLD PALM BEACH 7 cont. breokfasts © 4 dinners MIAMI BEAC month Shirts, Penetang Rangers have fun For a few months now the Ist Penetang Rangers have been planning their annual enrolment and parent supper. First, to explain the Penetang Rangers are a group of 12 teenagers, approximately 14 to 16 yrs. old and are under the leadership of Geraldine St. Amant, captain of the crew, and Anne Bourgeois, lieutenant. The girls meet every Tuesday evening at 7:00 p.m. and get involved ina number of community projects such as: can- vassing, volunteer help at hospitals and organizations, and special events as their annual coloring contest and dog show which will be held sometime in May. This group doesn't only meet for work. There is also some fun - for example, crafts, films, exercises, sleigh ride parties and camping trips all adding up to new friends and involvement. The Rangers enrolment began last Tuesday evening, May 4th, at 6:00 p.m. with a buffet supper planned, organized and prepared by the girls. Kay St. Amant, our district commissioner of Guiding was introduced and welcomed to the nights activities as were the Rangers and their parents. Special thanks was Siven to the following girl Suides, Michelle Lefaive, Carla McLinton and Karen McCallum who helped serve and clean up after the meal. These Birls were able to pass their hostess badge as outlined in the current policy organization and rules for Canada. Following these in- troductions and thank- yous, the enrolment began: Heather Lamant, Cathy Kaus, Leslie Watt, Melanie Robins, Anita Mahew, Leanne Leroux, and Karen Rymer were called upon to recite their Guide promise. Following these procedures, they were welcomed to the club and awarded their Ranger Pin. When the formalities were all over the fun began. Parents were seated to watch their daughters perform skits which had been worked on over the past few weeks parents eyes The evening ended with a look of satisfaction on all the girls faces and proud look in _ their An informative meeting of general interest to all Diabetics and families, will be held at St. Andrew's hospital on Tuesday May 25, 1976 A Doctor, Nurse, and Dietitian will be present. DR. KEITH ROSE and DR.DAVID PARSONS Would like to announce that Dr. Rose is leaving practice in Midland on May 28, 1976. Dr. Parsons will continue to see patients ... at 516 Elizabeth St. 526-6835 NOTICE With Father's Day less than a away, SWALES Gentlemen's Clothier are offering 10% off every item in the store for three days only: Thurs. & Fri. 9:00 - 9:00 Sat., May 22nd. 9:00 - 5:30 10% off suits, Pants, Ties, everything! Lay it away or take it home. GRAHAM Pyjamas ALTERATIONS - NO CHARGE Oentlemen's Clothier MIOLAND 526-2021 rac \ DAN HERBERT BILL GRAY Tw. Dwk, 1m 299 $279 The Village of Elmvale Notice of Public Meeting June 2nd, 1976 8:00 P.M. Elmvale Community Hall -- Board of Trade Room -- A public meeting will be held by the planning board of the Village of Elmvale, as noted above, to present proposed amendments No. 3 and 5 Year (tiaranteed Investment Certificate Rates Subject To Changy STERLING. B. Del Reed 309 King St.. Midland L4R 4P4 / 526-3768 A member of Canada Deposit *Cont. breakfost or kitchens included i 239 *289 FORT LAUDERDALE cor | week included $ * cont. breakfost daily from 9 5309 NASSAU © Ambossador Beach Hotel he 5249 5349 1n'299 *309 *# Cont. breokfo:t © Free golf JAMAICA * Breakfast & Dinner Doily From © Alltoxes & fips BARBADOS © Breakfast & Dinner Daily © Tronsfers * 2 Hotels FREEPORT © Cont. Breakfasts & Dinners (1 wk.) * Free Golf & Tennis © Taxes, Tips (2 wks.) 289 $289 ton 241 5241 OCchene) Insurance Corporation ELMVALE | 322-1505 BARRIE 726-6233 MIDLAND 526-7848 No. 4 to the official plan of the Elmvale Planning area, and to obtain the views of all interested persons. 1. Amendment No. 3to the Official Plan of the Elmvale Planning Area proposes to change to Residential the land use designation of ap- proximately 4 acres of land immediately south of Queen Street West between the Canadian National Railway right-of-way and the western boundary of the Village of Elmvale. 2. Amendment No. 4 to the Official Plan of the Eimvale Planning Area Proposes to change to Residential the land use designation of ap- proximately 18 acres of land in the extreme northeast corner of the Village of Elmvale. You are invited to attend the meeting and to state your support of or objection to, the proposed amendments. Should you be unable to at- tend, written submissions will be received up to the time of the meeting. The amendment documents may be examined at the Village Office at 52 Queen Street west, Elmvale, during regular business hours. Dated: Wednesday, May 19th, 1976 Gordon Spring, Chairman, Planning Board Mrs. F.M. Townes, Clerk The Law Firm of Gorman & Rothwell wish to announce the changing of their Port McNicoll office telephone number to: 934-3737 Rather than 534-3661 as previously announced. Shades, also Navy. See Our Golf Sets... Culotte Skirts, Shorts and Sets, Bathing Suits (1&2 piece, all sizes), Sleeveless Blouses, Sleeveless Dresses, 10 to 20, 38 to 44 y/| | A \ Reduction... on all Coats, Pant coats and Leathers. Stay Cool in Summer Tops. Short sleeve and Sleeveless T-Shirts in Polyester Knits , Cotton Knits and many more in colourful Solids or Prints... ONLY *3.74 and up. 0 Reduction... on Fashion Pants..... all sizes, 5 to 15 in all the new Spring 20 Jeans, %o Reduction On Jeanery... Jean Jumpers, Dresses and Vests. KE G&M WATSON"S Shoppe Ladies Wear 305 King St. Midland Queen St. Elmvale € 526-5761 322-2151 ae Wednesday, May 19, 1976, Page 3