All The World's A Circus A depressed Canada Page 5, News, Tuesday, March 26, 1991 Life, According To "Baba" Useless commission The pervading atmosphere in Canada is so depressing some Canadians are actually emigrating to Latvia and Estonia where the future seems a little brighter. I just don't believe things are as bad as they appear. It's the maudlin manner in which our leaders are delivering the bad news that's giving us the blues. Prime Minister Brian Mulroney's long-awaited attack on separation sounded like a eulogy of the family dog and Michael Wilson's budget speech was so sad, Otto Jelinek's heart started to melt and beat again. I say we deserve a little % good humor with all the bad news. Please, at the very least, a little schtick while they're Schticking it to us. Finance Minister Wilson didn't have to blurt out his cigarette tax or his health and welfare budget cuts any more than Mulroney had to declare all-out war on separatists. With some comedic flair and a laugh track backstage, they could have taken some sting out of things. What's wrong with a little stand-up comedy from "Tax Hike Mike" and "Lyin' Brian"? Performing like a couple of lounge lizards, their messages could have been delivered like this. Michael Wilson: "Hey, thank you, great to be here, nice to see ya. But, seriously, ladies and gentlemen, every year 30,000 Canadians die of smoke- related diseases... (solemn pause) ..Now, in accordance with my budget today, those people will have to find another way to die because I just hiked the price of smokes 75 cents per pack!" (A rimshot then laughter). "That's right, the Canadian William J. economy is so bad, you have to be rich just to die of natural causes!" (more laughter). "No, but seriously folks, we Conservatives pride ourselves on seeing to it all Canadians share equally in the burden of bad times. 'That's why, in today's budget, I'm slashing millions of dollars from health care... (serious pause) ...that's rights, we're going to take these 30,000 people we saved from lung cancer and have them die from medical neglect!" (sustained laughter and applause). "Hey, I'm kidding. You're a great crowd. "But, seriously, those who criticize our handling of the economy keep pointing to the long lines of people at soup kitchens across this country. (Imitating Groucho Marx) Brian says that's because the soup must be really good!" (Chuckles at his own joke). Thomas "But, seriously, we do see the breadlines and increase in people living in the streets and alleys of this great nation... (pause) -- that's why I'm slashing millions of dollars from ]. public housing. Hey, who needs houses in a homeless society!" (Loud laughter). "God, I love this job. But believe me, I have heard the anguish of people who have lost their jobs or their businesses. (Pause) Casualties are inevitable as Prime Minister Mulroney and myself strive to knock down.trade barriers and build a prosperous new nation (long pause). Who knew it would turn out to be Mexico!" (Very loud laughter). "Just kidding, hey, if we can't laugh at our misfortune, what can we do? (Pause). Pass it on to the poor like we continued on page 15 For goodness' sakes, why is the government still allowing that Spicer Commission of the Citizen's Forum on Canada's Future to continue when it's becoming all too apparent that it's the greatest political fiasco of the century? All that money, OUR money, a projected twenty-seven MILLION bucks of it, going down the drain, and $600.00 per day of that going directly into the pockets of the members of this lousy commission. What on earth are they doing, or saying, to merit such mega-bucks? Who are they to deserve same? Talk about padding expense accounts and the misuse of public funds...it's the greatest Scam yet to have hit our pocket books. Especially when one hears and reads that this Commission is getting absolutely nowhere, that it's a screaming failure, and that it doesn't seem to have the foggiest idea what it's supposed to be doing. Except making a big money grab. Why was it put together in the first place? Because Mr. Brian Baloney got his political pants in an uproar that some nasty Liberals might be beating him to the punch, and so hastily threw up this poor excuse for more grubbing in the public trough. If he thought he was going to overcome the lingering stench of the (thankfully defeated) Meech Lake Accord by allowing us sucker citizens to participate in these madly expensive town hall forums with a bunch of highly over-paid Commissioners, he sure made the biggest political boo-boo of his career. As for that arrogant-sounding Mr. Spicer stating that "People don't give a sweet you-know-what about the administration of the commission. They are more interested in Canada", Olga Landiak I've got news for him. We are VERY much interested in this administration as we question the quality of the people in it, and the unnecessary bucks they are picking up to line their pockets while they do damn-sweet-all. We, the lowly citizens, know what we want and don't want, and we don't need an expensive travelling Circus of a Commission in which to get the messages across. Most of the forums already held have been disastrous fiascos if one is to believe the reports on them, and it only goes to show the disgust and distrust of such ; forums when only two or s three people show up wherever they have parked their circus wagon wheels. Good heavens, haven't any of them been reading all those Letters to the Editor which have been flooding this particular forum open to us citizenry, stating our opinions of all Canadian Future things? Have none of Mr. M's private secretaries dared to show him the slew of editorials and commentaries which have been written also? Or have they all been hiding their heads in the proverbial political sands until they got this Liberal scare? What we most certainly don't want is to beheld up to ransom by Mr. Bourassa and Quebec and their arrogant, incredible demands for some kind of political and economic association with the rest of us which gives them everything they want while we suckers continue to pass on the tax dollars. If this compromise at all costs is Mr. Baloney's idea of a Future Canada, then he might as well scrap this Citizen's Forums thing because he's not listening to us anyway. Get rid of that Commission, Mr. continued on page 6 It's officially spring this week. It's not just the calendar that tells me that. Outside, the snow piles are getting crunchy and smaller. Every day of melting reveals grey-green mushy lawns dotted with piles of doggie-do. Spring is like that - combining the joyful hope of renewal with a reminder of things that have "piled up" over the winter, now demanding attention. The arrival of spring this year has coincided with the largest re- organization of the Ministry of Natural Resources in 18 years. Beginning in 1973, the Conservative government revamped the old Ministry of Lands and Forests, and gave it a new name and a new bureaucracy, with several more district offices and regions. Since then, the regions became the real power centres in decision-making. Timber, wildlife and land use the district level, where local individuals and interest groups have j the most influence. But approval of management plans were developed at these plans remained at the regional level, where public access was nearly impossible to achieve. The regions had . areal clout, in my experience. Rarely did regional decisions get overtumed at 'head office. But the problems with this system became painfully obvious, as early as 1980. The happen, rather than putting out ideas for reaction. As interest groups became aware of this method of operation, they concentrated their lobbying efforts in Toronto. Deals on FMAS, fisheries plans, and land use plans were negotiated at the ministerial level, then passed down through the Conservative INSIGHTS government's Ea a regions to the desire for by Larry Sanders districts for central cont- rol was accomplished, but at a terrible cost. Local groups lost real access to the Ministry's decision-making system. Deals and compromises worked out with district offices were overtumed or modified at the regional level, sometimes with little or no public explanation. The more the MNR district staff tried to involve the public, the more we complained that our views were not being taken seriously. MNR "consultation" took on the appearance _of telling.the public what was going to implementa- tion. The MNR system was very hierarchical. Then in 1989, the MNR submitted its "class environmental assessment on timber management" to the Environmental Assessment Board. Those hearings are still continuing, with at least another year to go. But as interest groups cross-examined MNR witnesses, and as the Environmental Assessment Board started to show its own biases in favor of meaningful public involvement in decision- Spring cleaning for Natural Resources making, the MNR realized it had to change. The new philosophical buzzword became "integrated resource management". Timber plans were no longer to be focused on just assuring a reliable supply of fibre to mills. Wildlife, fishing,. tourism, native, cultural, and land use interests were to be given equal weight. The MNR bureaucrats realized that if they were to retain their role as "honest broker" among all the competing interest groups, they had to give a new appearance and substance to their operations. This latest plan for re- gies was actually ready to go ahead last year, but was put on hold by the Liberal administration as they headed into last summer's election. Since then, the NDP government has decided that the plan developed by the MNR bureaucracy could go ahead, since for the most -- the re-organization fit the ' continued on page 13 |