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Page 4, Terrace Bay-Schrelber News, Wednesday, June 19, 1985 ce Bar eintiber : The Terrace Bay-Schreiber News is published every Wednesday by: Laurentian Publishing Co. Ltd., Box 579, Terrace Bay, Ontario, POT 2W0. . Telephone: (807) 825-3747. : GENERAL/ADVERTISING MANAGER ................- Vivian Ludington : OPPICE secs vias ea ee ee Irene Folz t PRODUCTION MANAGER..................500 2 cece renee Mary Melo Opinion Minor Hockey needs your help... The "News" was asked to attend the Annual General Meeting of The Terrace Bay Minor Hockey Association, held on June 11th at 7:30 p.m. We were told the purpose of this meeting was to firstly elect a new executive for the 85-86 season and to get the ball rolling to ensure another successful hockey year. I arrived a few minutes early to get a good seat, fully expecting a packed house. SURPRISE! There were only 9 - "NINE" people! Two Midget aged players, one parent, The News, and the rest were last year's executive hoping to be relieved of their duties. : With 100-200 Minor Hockey Players in Terrace Bay - each with at least one parent or guardian, you would think some of these parents would care enough to attend the meeting. If you stand in the Arena during the hockey season and listen to what some of the parents have to say about the way things are being run, you'd think the executive and coaches were be- ing paid a million dollars for their time and effort. Where were all these parents on Tuesday Night? Here was their chance to become involved and have things done "right"! Just think...everything could have been "perfect" next season - if only someone (or two) had come to the meeting. The coaches, managers and executive are not paid babysit- ters, (they are not paid at all), they're teaching YOUR child hockey skills, team spirit, co-operation and how to have fun - let's get behind them and support them! Another meeting has been scheduled for Thursday June 20th at 7:30 p.m. - why don't you come out to it, let your name stand for election or at least be concerned enough to support other people and your children! It should be noted at this time if there is no support shown the Terrace Bay Minor Hockey Association will then release all players and the T.B.M.H.A. will fold. The choice is yours... Arthur Black * Firor it's THE DOuBrER IN THE JIN Mar, THEN THE SKEPTIC KEEGCSTRA Siow), Next IT'LL Be WWII RERUNS CLasseD AS Sc1ENCE Fiction |" Did You Know The deed of St. John's Anglican Church Schreiber property is dated October 1887.-The first church was consecrated on July 8, 1894 by Bishop Edward was the Rev. Sullivan. According to records, the first resident clergyman for St. John's William Fvans from 1889 to 1893. Black's black humour allowed to become "nuclear soldiers."' You may find this difficult to believe, but there are some folks among us who claim we live in humourless times. They must be pulling our leg. We live in a time that is drenched in humour - much of it black. We have the Leader of the Western World (a man who used to sell lightbulbs on television, mind) -- who can piously hold up a weapon that contains the power to blow us all to literal and theoretical Hell... ...And without the slightest trace of a smile, refer to it as a "'Peacekeeper". Well yes, I suppose... We live in an era when our own Department of National Defence --a body that still frets over whether its troops are tastefully dressed for Ar- mageddon - has decided that homosexual soldiers are untrustwor- thy. Accordingly, homosexual ser- vicemen and women will not be Translation: The finger that presses the button will not be a gay one. Not all the black humour around belongs to the military. I'm still-try- ing to assimilate the news about the special rocket that will be-hurtling in- to space about a year or so from now. It's destination will be the Van Allen radiation belt, about a thousand miles up. Once there, the rocket will spit out some 10,330 tiny, gold-coloured cap- sules. The capsules are expected to orbit the earth for the next 63 million years, give or take a decade. What's in the capsules, you ask? Remains. Human remains - as in ashes. We are talking about the world's first Space Mausoleum here. Isn't it exciting? The folks behind the enterprise - a consortium called the Celestis Group - claim that people are lining up for the chance to have their ashes spend eternity looping the planet. '*We've had hundreds of calls" says a spokesman, "even people calling from England and Ireland." With that kind of demand, the Celestis Group has gone ahead and inked a contract with a Houston Texas company which has promised to have the necessary rocket on the launching pad by early 1986. What's more the U.S. Transportation Department has okayed the deal. In an official if somewhat grudging, statement, a department spokesman announced: "It doesn't interfere with interna- tional treaty obligations or with public health and safety."' If you're interested, give The Celestis Group Consortium a call, down in Wallops Island, Virginia. There are just a few empty, tiny gold- coloured capsules left.... but at a mere $3,900 each, they're going fast. One last little nugget from the motherlode of black humour that fills the pages of our newspapers these days. This one involves neither in- terstellar burial grounds nor sexual mores of the military. As a matter of fact, it concerns something that we here in the north are particularly good at - trees. It seems that there's this large North American city planning to put on a major international fair soon... and the city fathers discovered that they needed some really big trees - and quick. So they bought the trees - four hun- dred of them - from another large North American city which has lots of big trees to spare. Not much of a story so far, right? Big deal. City needs trees, buys them from another city. Whoopee. Ah, but it's the names of the cities involved that makes the story. Van- couver is the city doing to the buy- ing. It is buying trees from... Chicago. The chief horticulturalist for Ex- po 86, a chap with-the appropriate name of Robin Gardner, says: ""We need big trees and there was nothing close to the right size in Canada. There's a real dearth of large trees in the nursery industry."' Which is why Chicago nurseries are shipping 400 trees (including. - gasp! - three varieties of Canada's na- tional symbol, the maple) to Van- couver... and Vancouver is shipping a cheque for a little over $1 million to Chicago. That's in U.S. funds, of course. I dunno. It's all very logical, I sup- pose... but it seems to me that when we get to the point that Canada's on- ly semi-tropical rain forest province is buying trees from a concrete jungle like Chicago...it's time for Canadian entrepreneurs to rethink our priorities and fall back on the only export pro- duct we're truly talented at producing. Black humour.