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Fs BOR ~e, THE STRATFORD MIRROR crea | --= | dinical Sam Submits -- THE young lady who annownced her intention of disrobing in a plane and disembarking in her birthday suit must have been one of those high fliers we hear so much about. * * . HER name was Florence Cubitt and maybe she thought it spelled Cupid. * * * HUM A LITTLE -OFF AN' ON -LIFE ISNT ALL SOB STUFF AIRLINE officials wouldn't let her do it because they nude it was im- proper. * *; * OUR idea of something not worth worrying much about is the fact that Oliva and Missus Dionne are going to make a movie. They can't make a much worse fillum than some we've seen. * * * bal IF Social Credit proves a financial debit in Alberta, Aberhart will be able to blame Douglas and the Major will pass the buck back to Seaforth's son. * * * * TRADE and Commerce Department reports it costs Canadians nine millions yearly to keep even moderately clean -- which the majority of small boys will consider a frightful waste. * * * * THAT 74-year-old groom who fumbled the ring so badly at his fifth wedding can't blame it on lack experience. Over-confidence, perhaps. * * * * SOME time when you feel like wise-cracking about some innovation, just recall the fact that they chucked old Roger Bacon into jail for predicting "machines for navigation without rowers, cars without draft animals, flying machines." * * * * HE knew his stuff, but the armchair critics of seven centuries ago couldn't take it. * * * * WHAT'S going on in the process of civilizing Ethiopia since Hauptmann and Hitler bought Page One? * * * * DISTINGUISHED churchman says scalloped potatoes appear to be the national dish. Superceding hash and baloney? * bd * * ETHYL mercaptan is said to smell like a mixture of garlic, onions, decayed cabbage, sewer gas and year-old eggs. Which makes this chemical cousin of the skunk pungently potent. : 3 : "WE cannot borrow'ourselves out of debt," says an economist. And we can't or won't pay them. So what? < * * * * AMONG the advantages of education is the fact that you can sit down and write: "It would appear from what evidence is available that the act of ovi- position is immediately stimulated by the crepuscular diminution in the intens- ity of illumination and the rise in relative humidity as the diurnal temperature decreases." * * * * WHEREAS if you're merely ignorant and happy you'd say that egg-laying seems to be stimulated by twilight and evening: dampness. THIS fact probably proves something important. I. O. D. E. OFFICERS A successful year's accomplishment was reviewed at the annual meeting of Perth Regiment Chapter I. O. D. E. Mrs. G. F. Nornabell, regent, occupied the chair. Mrs. W. H. Gregory present- ed the treasurer's annual report, and Mrs. S. R. McConkey, recording secret- | ary, outlined the work of the chapter | during the year. The following were named officers for the ensuing year: Honorary regent Mrs. A. C. McLeod; regent, Mrs. G. F. Nornabell; first vice-regent, Mrs. Lorne Robertson; second vice-regent, Mrs. R. J. Thistle; recording secretary, "Mrs. S. R. McConkey; corresponding secretary, Miss Margaret Pinkney; treasurer, Mrs. Duncan Copus; educa- tional secretary, Mrs. Henry Morrow; Echoes secretary, Miss L. Bailey; so- cial convener, Mrs. W. H. Gregory; flower convener, Mrs.'T. W. Orr; stan- dard bearer, Mrs. J. L. Youngs; coun- cilors, Mrs. W. A. Moore, Mrs. L. Her- ber Alexander, Mrs. T. Simpson, Mrs. Robert Reid, Mrs. N. L. Kilpatrick, Mrs. A. E. O'Loughlin, Mrs. H. Pow- ell, Mrs. R. J. Easson, Miss Doris Top- liff, Miss Mary Strudley. eae atta Scan 1936 VISION She--Now what are you stopping for? He (as car comes to halt)--I've lost my bearings. She--Well, at least you are original. Most fellows run out of gas. ADAPTATION. A well-known musician was staying in a village, and one evening, while taking a walk, fell in with some rus-| tics coming away from their practice. M. W. Locke shoes bring the perfect combination to you, graceful styles to complement your Spring ensemble -- comfort and corrective features in the only shoes designed and approved by Dr. M. W. Locke of Williamsburg. Shoe as illustrated in black, brown, blue and white kid. a m.wheke,, FOR MEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN is wetioetoo RR NEILL LTD. Phone 2170 He asked one of them what music| find Handel rather difficult," the mu- they had been practising. sician remarked. "Handel," he was told. "No, not very sir," said one of the | "But I should have thought you'd| villagers. "You see, we alters him." REAL SILK 36 inches wide, For Wise FRIDAY-SATURDAY Shoppers || » LINEN atonia CLOTHS This linen Damask has to be of good quality and outstanding value to merit the name EATONIA; Beautifully bleached and have smooth glossy finish. Size about 72 x 72 inches, each $3.50 : Size about 72 x 90 inches, each $4.25 Size about 72 x 108 inches, each $5.25 Napkins, about 22"' x 22", doz. $4.00 Hemmed ready for use. CREPE SATIN You'll want to buy several lengths of this fashion- able real silk crepe back satin for blouses, etc. In white and eggshell shade. $ | ] G FRIDAY: afid SATURDAYS -Y80Q..ccccccicsiadiadcs ® & GARADIAN DEPARTMENT STORES wes wide, white only. White Cotton PIQUE Just the type of material to make up into several smart summer sports or spectator frocks. 36 inches ri Vardiie 25c om" RATIN Cotton Half Price 1 cL OPEC sce ccdepaussss @ Offered in a choice of peach, nile, blue and sand shades, a good quality 36 inches wide, yard 17c. Lace Runners Ecru shade cotton lace rumners ina full 18 x 45 inch size. Friday and Saturday, ea pl .00