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<X ~ Cy wg | Verse and Reverse TO A CERTAIN PARTY You're so dainty, you're so neat, You're so absolutely sweet, Is it any blooming wonder My poor heart is rent asunder While strange fancies through me flit? Echo answers: Not a bit! FACT The-angle worm Is long and slim, And how the robins Go for him! 2 If fish would strike With equal vigor Each catch would run From big to bigger. BLUE BLOOD My girl she is So. darn High-toney, . She will not even Eat Bologney. _--_--_-- - SOMETIMES Mild profanity Soothes the vanity. _ NO HIT A sporting Phrase With grief Corroded: "He struck Out with The bases - Loaded." CAN You? Can you cheer a rank outsider as he thunders in the van, Can you yell: "Come on, you baby," while your own runs in the can? Can you hide your disappointment un- derneath a cheery grin When a faster horse runs faster than . the one you picked to win? UTOPIA -There's no care There's no worry, When- you are A millionaire. By Wilfrid Gingras -------- HO HUM! The daylight dawns, The whistle blows And wakes me from "A: blissful doze. _ (Oh, shucks, | ANTHRACITE COAL POCAHONTAS, Egg Size " Red Jacket, Egg Size _ Solvay Coke CITY SIGN SERVI For Signs and Show C Ring 1394w J. W. LENNON 172 Ontario CORNISH COAL CO. Do I have to get up?) : PHONE < oe ge é, = les oe READ THE MIRROR "ADS." cheap now, but wait and see next year's political platforms. -- NE " oa » cl " Building» material seems very - MIRROR ADVERTISING _Longfoot's Beverages "Stop That Thirst! In our cool and refreshing drinks is the joy of thetgame and the pleasure of the company... | Only 5c the Drink! Sold Everywhere! =e Make Sure It's Longfoot's = bars DR. JOHNSTON'S A 25c box of Callous-Off will dis- solve the hardest corn or callous without leaving the slightest ap- ce of rawness. On sale direct post paid for 25¢ from wboratory. Cnrapany Stratford, Ont. Callous - Off at drug and shoe stores or sefit -- Dr. Johnston's Callous-Off PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE CRITICAL GF EVERYTHING THEY BUY ! ™% our printing that leaves their manship appearance has the right appeal. The use of the better class of printing is a real pleasure. hands. The CALLING CARDS--WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS LETTER HEADS -- BLOTTERS -- CIRCULARS FOLDERS -- CATALOGUES Business and Society Stationery of every description. . A phone call will bring to your office our representative. _ The Fletcher Johnston Press Business 115-w. 'Residence 1219-j. is scrutinized much more critically than you may imagine. Our print- ers.take pride in every bit of work iformity and craits- THE STRATFORD MIRROR ALUMINUM 12-quart Preserving Kettles 1 1 9 each With Cover $1.50 | J. L. BRADSHAW CHINA HALL PARTRIDGE SANITARY & HEATING ENGINEERS Stratford and Toronto Plumbing, Heating, Sheet Metal Work and Roofing 29 Ontario St. Phone 1257 A COMMON CAUSE OF INJURY Is the protruding nail! Get your shoes well soled by our superior repair men. Neglecting to get your shoes soled may be the cause of serious trouble. Supecior Repair Shop rg Ontario St, -- Phone 94 L. COOK PLUMBER AND ELECTRICIAN 110 Downle St. Phone 176 JS. RUSSELL Registered Architect { Phone 1533-F Gordon Bik. ; | } | | ; | 'an acquaintance to Browne. ~ 4 | 9 : a 98 "Doc's Corner __--------------S--S----S ----- PEE SS Pee -------- see: Why doesn't some farmer advocate birth control of dandelion and sow) thistle, * * * Generally the -boy who habitually sasses his mother grows up and mar- ries a woman who won't stand any back talk. +. 2 * a The good Wh asce were those when | a man's tonsils lasted as long as he} did. a = * Wall street is well named, being | the place where most persons who! visit its' sacred precincts go sooner or later. 7 * * The final test of will power is to see a friend with a black eye and not ask any questions. * * x A boy was about to purchase 4 ticket to the movies when the ticket- seller said to him: "Why aren't you at school?" "Oh it's alright," he. replied, "I've got the measles." * a cad Another definition of an optimist} is the fellow who wears his necktie | to bed so he'll be properly dolled up| if he should meet the girl of his} dreams. } * * ca He was a lingering sort of lover, | and when they were saying "Good- | night" for the 20th time, he remarked: | "We live in a wonderful age, darling. Just think how everything is becom- ing wireless now!" "Yes" she acquiesced, "Pa was} only saying this morning that even} the sofa was becoming that way." * * * | Lady Novelist: "Darling, I have | been untrue to you. I love another." | Husband: "W-h-a-t !" Lady Novelist: "Calm yourself, dear, | calm yourself. That is only what my | heroine says to her husband, and 1| wanted to se how the husband would | act." Cohen: "Vell, I can't him. I'm on nodding terms mit him." | Isaacs: "Nodding? Vat's dot?" "Vell, if he wants anything, I've got | nodding--see?" Ed] of 2 | * * * say I know | } | The boss of the household is ' the one who gets to read the paper before | somebody messes it up. " m ca You're looking bad, old man," said "What's | the trouble?" "Domestic," answered Browne. "But I thought you always said your wife was a pearl," remarked the friend, "So she is," returned Browne sor-| rowfully. "It's the mother o' peari that's the trouble." » a * Ignorance, as defined by one small boy, is when you don't know some- thing and somebody finds it out. * ue * A farmer and his son were work- ing in a field when the old man stumbled over a stump and fell. "Gosh darn that stump. I wish it} was in ----!"' growled the farmer. "T wouldn't say that, pop, remarked the son, you might stumble over that stump again some day." e a 3 The wife--I can't imagine what} you bid no trump on when I have) three aces and four kings. Hubby--Well, if you want to know, I bid it on one jack with two queens and three cocktails. |-sing Girst boy--"My sister has cedar chest." Second Boy--'That's nothing. My father has a wooden leg." . a cl ed : a fine Nowadays a child picks up his geography from a rumble seat, his arithmetic from a dial phone and his | grammar from the radio and _ the talkies. co CJ bd A country preacher had preached for an hour and a quarter on the) prophets -- all the greater prophets, and then the minor ones in turn. "Now we've come to Habakuk," he said, "Where shall we put him?" "He can have my seat," said a weried listener, "I'm going home." a " * A local angler says the "hookers" ! on most of these fishing expeditions are more important than the hooks. * = * Parson Johnson: "De choir will now "'m Glad Salvation is Free," while deacon Brown passes round de hat De congregation will remember dat while salvation am free, we hab to pay the choir for singing about it. All please contribute according to yo' means an' not your meanness." * * Ba A time waster is a man who reads the menu ten minutes when he knows all the time he's going to order ham and eggs. DOWN & FLEMING Funeral Service Rooms 94 Ontario St. Phone 314 Mr. Down, 306; Mr. Fleming 311 PETER & SYLVESTER Will do your Repairs in Plumbing Heating Electric Phone 219 12 Ontario St. | } The World Moves .. So Do We Stratford Cartage We Move Pianos, Safes and Furniture By courteous and reliable men. PHONES: >, J. Sinclair -o--* Freight Shed Office SIE AGIOS ag «yt | fieliniepemeiiins ee 837 26 ALBERT ST. AT OUR SHOWROOMS MAY BE SEEN THE LATEST DESIGNS IN PIANOS, RADIOS and PHONOGRAPHS Located now at KENNER'S BOOKSTORE 70 Ontario Street HEINTZMAN & CO. LTD. For our tuning or repair depart- ment Phonel70 Jas. Anthony, Manager -CHAS. GIBSON Painter and Paper Hanger Try the man who knows how to decorate your rooms, My workmanship is guarantee, your 88 Nile St. Phone 1380-m | 40 Downie St. PHONE 323 "THE CLEANER THAT CLEANS" Men's Suits Ladies Knitted Suit $1.25 Ladies Dresses, $1.25 up (We lead others follow) Stratford $ Cleaners & Laundry Co. (Over Whyte Packing Co. Store) Don't be misled but phone the original $ Cleaners'