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ee hearse The High Kirk. The great high kirk has got a thraw, "Twill surely rove its ral i priest: Keer a That's muckle guid undotn sour, Wha winna thole his nostrum. He's turned his hurdies to the flock Whan prayin’ vag compassion, Asif the Lord refused Lo hea! r’t In onie — fashion ec es vessels 0’ (An' w will Tee dispu oe a 4 dightit by h Or they'll be a’ pollu shit. The solemn feast he'll no’ set doon t, the Lord mie it?) Til he thinks fit to kic chiela w ike oot a scheme For better care, * As safe in their protection. An’ tho" they ne'er pois ce SER gien o’ the se Syne clap't a penny ona plate “By way o’ poortith's token. Then up the aisle wi’ dreary grane, * conscience sair disjointit He. his = ee bit penny mee 4 word's anointi Queer gs] cht « o’ hand wark thar was dune, versive 0° the union, While satan hor er'd owre the kirk V cel pleased on supple pinion. He lauch'd fu’ cantiein his sleeve At ilka burnin’ quarrel, An’ prod't on the foremaist lads, break up a cold. . . The gleg auldfarrent carle —A woman has no right to have a dis- A mot ey ¢ Trew were then gent uD. } agreeable voice. Wi’ warklooms, gey new ‘Twas thocht their sym hon Pinicht ena —Take a look at the crowds in the stores | e dust o'er which they'd wrang: that advertise. But mi mischance they struck a key With cats 8 quite full of fiddie paiakates las ony stce With d eple, that they were no in tune voices o’ the people They blew the bottom as = box That's ca'da kist of whiss An’ noo it's said the ing rey ta’en An onfa’ o’ the misse The in sguiciby ate stream Sat Shed the font 6 bit If folk wi’ conscience e winna gang The gait that he's persewi The only way to ent the fyke (I canna see anit Just place the eediy on this side, ‘The devil on the ither There let them weel Sed wh pp't Wi" stripes that * MUCKLEBACKIT. A Rapid Transformation. ‘About eight years ago,” said Auditor Joseph Brown, ‘I was in London, England. One day I bought a stall to see Patti at the Royal. When the evening came I took the Indies around and walked in atthe door. But I did not get far. *©* You cannot come in here,’ said the door- keeper. ‘Why not” Iasked in surprise. are my seat tickets.’ cow ell, you cannot enter,’ he replied, decisively ; ‘ your coat is a oer and noth- ing but ress suits are allowed **Texpostulated. I told him that my hotel was along way off, and that the ladies would be greatly disappoin as oD ‘ Here or and did not know the rule of the thea se Finally he told me to go into the dressing-room, where the attendants might perhaps be able to fix me out all right. “ T went, expecting to pay two or three crowns for the loan of a coat. The fellow looked at me a second, whipped a pin from his lapel and pinned my coat tai back, and I found myself in evening dress. ‘«T gave the man half a crown. mest. Louis Chronicle. First Lesson in Journalism. City editor (to new reporter)—You say in this report of the fire that ‘the lurid lare of forked flames shot athwart the rk domed sky.” Are you sure of that New reporter—Yes, sir ; I saw the cr thing. City editor—Did you notice any insurance lurking about the place, or learn what caused the fire, or the probable amount of property destroyed ? ? New reporter—No, sir. City editor (striking a match)—Well, just watch the lurid glare of forked flames TEA TABLE valnisitel THE AMATEUR CRITIC. And cutteth up h ae) pees sapplaud. “i ithe And then ree writes sleep up himself And gives it to the papers. —Arabs never eat fish. —All trees are evergreen in the tropics. —In Palestine there are now 78,000 Jews, _ —** Ohio” is the Japanese for good mor ing. an | 9 per cent. of cases of amputation are fatal. —Leo XIII. speaks English, German and French. The winds may wav —_ f Mtastee, But still he takes no The length Is now his overcoat. —One-half of the people die before the age of 16. —California fruit will be plenty for the holidays, . = Earl of Dudley has $6,000,000 life insu "Dr. " Talmage’ s voice is raised for war with Chili. —Twelve over-age tea planta produce one pound of tea. —Take a hot lemonade at bed-time to And all the rattle peae yg Why isn’t music cheap ? —Belgium’s queen isa clever sleight-of- hand performer. —Facial paralysis can generally be traced to using hair dye. —The French army is three times as large as it was in 1870. —A doctor says linen should never be worn next the skin. —The entire coast-line of the globe i about 136,000 miles. —The moon’s motions are quickened 11 seconds in 100 years. —The Persians have a jifferent name or every day in the month. —The sausage is only skin deep, and that’s the beauty of it. —Pawnbrokars are not allowed to take wine and spirits in pawn. —A pack of — recently changed hands for 3,000 guine —The deaf.and dumb ee geta no credit for having never told a —You can’t measures van’s learning by the size of the words he uses. —Boston has over 4,000 miles of electric wires strung over its stree —Women ate prettier than they used to be and necessarily come Ligher. —A good man is one who lives right whether he believes in rdigion or not. —We are rocked whenyoung and clubbed when we grow o ’Tis a cruel world. —WMillionaire Nellie Hayden, of Denver, was a salesgirl ten years age Real estate. He sat at his door at noonda He was lonely and glum a es sad ; The dbs ab w buseingshonk him, Not asi ke tt the i - uted, re. ott Tm covered with flies !" aad the eps thattoyed with his whiskers = Why a Sa t you advertise %” —A pretty woman cannot throw a atone, but she can ‘shoots glance that hits the mark every time. —At the club: ‘I hear you are going | to mar Alice Bankbook, Joe.” er ** Well, she’ 8 nice girl, and she’s bay a fine figure. “Yes; $70,000, I under- stand.” IN HIS FIRST FULL DRESS BUIT. n him! err your eyes upon his tout ensemble, bserv hands—his restless, homeless ant 8; So undetachable—so obstinately there! He know shoot athwart this report. es ely aaa but he cannot His trousers have than theot the side, Unstatesmaniike. ag oe Typing og er t the other, and His are in “There goes a man we left Congress This is his first apprarendd poorer —_ when he entere naswi “Ah! A good proof of "is splesdid ap mortal frame he ne'er before hath decked integrity !” Upon ce ss Ob, no!—of his miserable luck at] He w fle—a poker.” Preparing for the Worst. Clerk—Pair of ear-muffs, eh? Getting ready for the cold weather pretty early, aren't you ? Benedict—Cold weather nothing ! got a new baby at the house, that’s‘all. Sticking to the Rules. Customer (to dry goods clerk)—You have called me a liar ; you must take that back. Clerk—We never take anything back. wah can an change it for you; how would you like to be called a thief? At the gathering of Catholic clergy in St. Louis to celebrate the jubilee of Arch- bishop Kenrick it was observed that the bishops and of predominating number uates of Maynooth, priests present were one of the greatest wor After a man and woman have been mar- ried five years both claim to have been coaxed into it. There was once a woman in the country who was not favored by the gods with wealth, but to in a measure compensate for this, she had i shift did she invent, one being forters for the beds. Now t per com- me a regulation thing and soft light paper com- forters are for sale in stores of eve city. These are to weig Channing: The burdens cheerfully ; storms, and whose reliance on tryth, virtue, on God, is most unfaltering. ! We've tholic colleges in the enuity, and many a make- be placed over the blanket and retain warmth without giving test man is he who chooses the right with invincible resolution ; who resists the sorest temptations from within and without ; who bears the heaviest | who is calmest = years a sm wan, appealing smile— Asmile that a and ‘then froze to death Go Listening to Miss Parloa. Philadelphia Record: ‘‘ How’s this ?” exclained Mr. Hobbs tc his 10-year-old zr, as he made a survey of the house on < “arrival home. ‘ Half past 7 and no signs of supper. Where’s your mother ? bs ‘*She’a down to the cooking class,” ex- plained the child. omer reggae find unscrupulous tmitato our dealer for Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills and take no substitute. They are a never-failing blood builder and a nerve tonic. A woman in Hancock connty, Me., who was afraid to drive her horse across a rail- road track was bitterly diseppointed in at- tempting to zo around it. Each yearabout $50,000 is expended in sprinkling the streets of London with sand to prevent the horses slipping. There have been 27 cases of insanity in the Bavarian royal family during the last 100 years. Peers of England are free from arrest for debt as being the Queen’s hereditary coun- sellers. An inch of rain means ‘hat the tity which falls upon an acre of pomea weighs 100 tons. The Prince of Wales has been grand master of the English Grand Lodge of Free Masons for 17 successive years, and will be nominated for the office again this month. The Rev. John hank, of Cupar, Fife- shire, Scotland, ex-Moderator of the m United Presbyterian Church, died on the ;® 2st ult, in the 83rd year oj his age. —} wow the Street Arabs Are Treated at Establishm LONDON TRUANT SCHOOL. = ents. When the London Arab,, otherwise a bad boy, declines to go to school he is caught and sent to join a regiment.of truants at one of the various truant schools that have manager di behaves himself he i license, If he still declines to go to school wart turns a at pad truant school a: as are ¢Ggs. When they are captured ine gl a and ragged. But this eir hair is he they are clean suit of clothes given them, consistin of a pair of corduroy trousers, a shirt, a blue serge blouse, a pair of socks and some stout boots. What a difference the bath and clothes make! The brute be- comes s human being. And the brute seems to feel this as he gives himeelf a — of shake and walks off to join his fel- low truan’ ta. _From 6 o’clock in the mornin, re 8 at rt of the punitive discipline.” Up, wash, ress, make beds, fold clothes, prayer, exer- cise, breakfast, school, drill, dinner, school, drill and so on. he housework of this large establishment is done by the boys. They help the cook with the dinner, and when dinner is cooked they clean the kitchen. They gives hand to the laun- dress, starch, iron and turn the mangle. There is wood- -chopping to be done, and many small household duties to perform al of which teaches the boy the elemenas of law and order, which are of great aid to him later on in life. The Household Prize. | 135 Adelaide street west, Toronto, Ont., ‘* Your reliable preparation, St. Jacobs Oil, has proved a benefit to me in more ways than one. I have used it for quinsy (out- ward application) with ‘very beneficial results, and for a case of rheumatism, where cure was performed. I consider it a remedy to be prized in every household.” Tuos. Paaent, with Johnson & Brown. Russia's Standing ye The Russian standing army ¢ ts of 410,952 infantry, 84,926 mee, 2 67, 976 artillery, 19,325 engineers and 35,180 ord- nance, & total of 619,178 enlisted men and 28,000 officers. The Cossack strength in , besides the Cossacks in the above total, 19,448 ; there are 72,634 officers and men of the reserve, and 105,000 officers an men of the local and auxiliary forces, a total, that is, of about 814,000 officers and men, The war footing is 2,220,798 com- batants, officera and men. Worn and Wan and Weak and Weary. Ho! ye women, worn and weary, with wan faces and so indeacribably weak. Those distressing, dragging-down pains, and that constant weakness and wornness and weari ness can be cured. For all such sufferers, Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription is a cea of inestimaole value. As an in- seamstresses, ‘‘shop-girls,” housekeepers, nursing mothers, and feeble women generally, Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription is the greatest earthly boon, ing un- equaled as an appetizing cordial and res- torative tonic. Asa soothing and ee ing nervine, ‘‘Favorite Prescription” unequaled and invaluable in allaying oad subduing nervous excitability, exhaustion, prostration, hysteria, spasms and other dis- tressing, nervous symptoms, commonly at tendant upon functional and organic disease. It induces refreshing sleep and relieves mental anxiety and despondency. Appropriatc Names. Texas Siftings: ‘80 you have got twins at your house ?” said Mra. Bezumbe to little Johnny Saluelson. «* Yes, ma’am, two of them.” “« What are you going to call them ?” “« Thunder and Lightning ae Why, those are Ciaaae names to call children.’ ** Well, that’s what pa called ’em as soon as he heard they werein the house.” All For a Barley Corn. LaFontaine, in one of his fables, tells of a barnyard fowl that ecratched up a gem, while scratching for corn. Not knowing ite value, he gave it to a atone-cutter for a barley corn. Thus do many persons throw away the priceless pearl of health. A **trifling” cough is neglected, then comes Consumption, then death. Stay the cough, or look out for a coffin. Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery will cure catarrh in the ead, bronchial or throat affections, or lung- scrofula (commonly known as the consump- tion of the lungs). If taken in time, and given a fair trial, it will cure, or the money paid for it will be refunded. It is the only guaranteed cure. Healthfal and Pleasant. If you want a lovely odor in your rooms break off branches of the Norway spruce and arrange them in a large jug vyell-filled with water. In a few days tender, pale- green branches feather out, soft and cool to the touch, and giving the delightful health- giving odor. —Scientific American. FITs.— All Fits stopped free by Dr, Kline’s to: No F aid “atter firet res. Trea’ and 00 Fit cases, etioDe Kline 931 Arch St., fehiladelphia, Pa. A Sad Awakening. Chicago Tribune: Conductor (shaking him vigorous} ¥ ‘Ticket, sir!” Subuarb- anite (parti rousing himself) —“ For Heaven's sake, TWwancy, get up and build it yourself. This is Sunday !” What is more annoying about constantly hawking This is the result of its action Was swift and sure, and a perfect | B P tod “pitung Bt THE GREAT. REM: EDY! PAIN Sprains, Bruises, Burns, Swellings. THE CHARLES A. VOCELER COMPANY, Baltimore, Md. Canadian Depot: @ WITHOUT AN EQUAL, © OBS] Q CURES RHEUMATISM, NEURALCIA, LUMBACO, SCIATICA, TORONTO, ONT. The Scots Greys and Their Trophies. The British regiment which has _ the largest number of captured flags is the Scots Greys, to whom, at Ramilies the French Regiment du Roi surrendered, with their arms and colors. At the same battle, this regiment, in chasing the fleeing o_. captured several more and a@ grea lata of prisoners. In 743, when the British troops, under command of, George or te IL, defeated the French, the Scots Greys rode at a body of the French Life Guards, rand when the French vg Nong ves 3 towards the river, pursu he Scots ee ed the latter captured from their adversaries magnificent silk standard, the first of ite kind ever taken by our troops, a’ fact which, coupled with the overthrow of the cream of the French er so delighted the King that after the battie he nominated the colonel of the regiment a Knight of the es t Waterloo the Sccts Greys took’a ae catia of prisoners and captured the e of the 45th Infantry. This was secured bys Sergeant Ewart after a desperate combat, in which, after cutting down the standard- bearer, he was attacked successively by o Polish lancer and a foot soldier, both of whom he slew. A Wise Young Woman. ome Seine Fitzwilliam, he loved a fair ™m But to ask her to marry him he was atest, ecause of catarrh, which she had very bad; So ma BO _— ~— the youth was quite giad To ng, the kiss of the lover. The pedi of this ne set out to discover. *Catarrh makes me loathsome. It’s fatal to rye nig a eto oe f romethineg 0 there is, O, darlin vow I'll n To drive owe pe nh So this wise ae woman be; search- ing for a cure, and good luck attended her. She found Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy, at the drug store, and felt convinced that a preparation which the proprietors had such confidence in that they were willing to offer to pay $500 for a case they cannot cure, must be worth trying.” She bought it. She tried it. It cured her. And when “~ kisged her at the altar last week, iss was as sweet and pure as roses in ab Girls, a word of advice: If you: want a loverto stay a lover, you must get. rid of catarrh. Do as this sensible = did, and get the only sure remedy for this disgusting and dangerous disease—Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy. Editors Wear Boots. Tuscarawas (N. §.) Chronicle: Our enterprising neighbor, Brother Creel, has purch a new pair of shoes. This, to our wealthy readers, may not seom like a very important item of news, but that is because they never wearied their brains and the seats of their pants in the newspaper business. An experience of some years teaches us that the editor who collects enough money from delinquent subscribers to buy @ pair of shoes in the autumn days is in luck. P.-S.—We need shoes. Drop a dollar in the slot and see the editor smile. N. B,—Ifour delinquent subscribers are go ing to let the mealy editor of the Independent get shead of uson shoes, we want to know it right away. 4 Money sent by post office order is at our riek. Finally : Send it soon, brethren. Consumptives Do not give up until — have tried Miller’s Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil which makes flesh and blood, is a positive cure for Ce and colds, brochitis, sore throats, and all lung troubles tending to consump- = Persons have been known to gain from five to ten endow. weight by takin one bottle of Miller’j Emulsion of Liver Oil, which contains ad nar of lime and soda. In big bottles, 50c. and $1 at all drug stores. Papa (soberly)— That was ve & mon- strosity you had in the he peor la t evening. Mand {nettled)—Ind That must depend upon one’s understanding of the term mon- strosity. Papa (thoughtfally)—Well, two heads upon one pair of shoulders, for ex- ample It is an accepted fact that the tone of the piano improves when’ the instrument’ is moved from the wall ofa room. SUPPRESSIONB. ; pede his mental fac- es te dull o os ag or ag wil rea pi ould take ee ‘ Shis fost energies, bo should take them. Th all su VWodal pe wi An Alton, IIL, girl was by her lover that one fractured. [of Eee ibe wes was The charitable ~— women who enliven the social life of have organized a society the chief object of which is to darn the hose of their gentlemen frien: 1 cure any case ss faithfully eat should ‘take these Pris. Thy will cure the re- and strengthen the “Young. MEN : — bad ha | “Youwa y WOMEN Sis" siz.s3 le by all druggists or wil be sent upon ! wonton os Pe ey ag og by addressing MED. CO. THE DE: WILLIAMS M a Ont The Success of Alma Ladies College. All interested in Educational work must admiration the rapid — rapidly that in five years it had reached the largest enrolment in Ontario and so filled all its available rooms that the Board of Management was compelled two years to erect McLachlin Hall—at a cost inbila- ing and furnishing of $21, h year has witnessed larger attendance, more per: Sect organteation, better scholastic results and growing popularity. Department has been added to department until now Alma offers = courses to graduation (M. L. A. & L.) in Lite Department, Piano, Violin, Elocution, Fine Arts ap m- mercial Science. Univ ersity affiliation, 60 pp. illustrated announcements. Address Principal Austin, B. D., St. Thomas, Ont. New York Recorder: Is there anything more suggestive than a scented woman ? What isthe purpose of the disguise? Is she ashamed of nature? Is there anything disagreeable about her, or is this one of the occasions when alittle deceit is desirable ? Mrs. Fangle—Johnny Cumso, aren’t you afraid your face = get tanned if you don’t wear your hat? Johnny—Nome. isn’t where I usually get tanned. D.C. N. I. 52. 91 WANTED, A live energetic cpa who is active and rigger A lady or gentleman ot Long “hie can make a handso connie! required other than a ow, ‘and } pleasing: address, and an honest and upright character M. Co., Box amilton Address M, A, C, P.O. fe, H nt WANTED 2, 292 qe goods by sample to the wholesale and retail ral ealary and expense Rcneens ‘position. oney advanded ‘or wages, advertising, etc. For full particule and reference address CENTENNIAL MFG CU., CHICAGO, ILL. THE PEOPLE'S phNITTING MACHINE. tail Price only $6.00. wal knit Stockin soe ing required in the omes: fac- eure for. 1 will ship ma ed Gp, es ful in OD Yea CARDON & GEARHART, Dundas, Ont. MENTION THIS PAPER WHEN WRITING. CONSUMPTION. = GREAT PULMONARY REMEDY 8 * Wistar’ ypimantc 8 of Wild C and Hoarhound.” re thao ae headed monster that ean ohn tens sands of our b) ughs and co Wika’ "Pubneato Syrup! is sold by all drug gists at 25c. iyxG0 DREAMS Rae e cera NoLIsH, Barta, The results ti of im draggin ect ie, Sito pee “Detroit, Miek. Hot Air Heating SE ores = It will in ee Sox, = Oana it Eureka Gnemion’ Cov. GURNE YS — NEW HARRIS 1 Gurney’s : Standard: Furnaces Are Powerful, Durable, Economical, THOUSANDS IN Raw Avis e zale in edit dealers The E. & C. “Quenes any Os, HAMILTON, ONT. a. id CONSUMPTION