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Cfeciond 10 veq8q WoW \yilnummad e' paguae" ran ------ -- "A Famlly Tradition for 126 Years" a -- -- ---- -------- --. --. > a ew ow wm mm ------ i ------ ---------- . -- FR RERT AB BDRM Te" 2a" 4 Go B= aw ead A EB WE WB RR. CA GO Ral a era ea | ------ Eh a a PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, October 20, 1992 - _ Seer 0S 1340100 ysbesuT - AAT YARIS TAO9 - @ a -- ------ A -- -- ---------- era we 7 In Canada and indeed the world there exists a segment of our global society that remains woefully untrained and as a result this partic- ular occupation has hardly advanced at all in the last 50 years despite breath-taking technological break throughs in other areas. I'm speaking of course of robbers. Frankly, most of them are an embar- rassment to their craft. From a timeless trade that in the past produced Willie Sutton, Jesse James, Bonnie and Clyde, Jim and Tammy Faye we are looking through bars today at Curly, Larry and Moe. Much like the space agency, Canada could be the first nation to establish a state-of-the-art education- al institute for robbers, restoring a sense of pride in this badly maligned profession. I'm sure, as the economy gets a lit- tle worse with each passing day that you too will soon be tempted to knock off a variety store or a trust company and exactly how will you plan and execute your heist. Well, at the Robbers Retraining Institute of Canada we will have professors teach- ing courses in their specific areas of expertise. by William Thomas BANK ROBBERS ON THE JOB TRAINING Jack Santos will teach at R.R.I.C. You might recall that Jack Santos was recently convicted of pulling off the near perfect crime when posing as a police officer he managed to get the bank director of the Bank of Canada in Toronto to stuff his gym bag with $3 million. In attempting to disguise himself the night before the robbery, Jack Santos has used a hair dye that mistakenly turned his hair a bright orange. In the cab on his way home with $3 million in cash Jack searched for the keys to his apartment and realized he'd left them in his car still parked near the scene of the crime. He went back. The police who were by this time combing the area and look- ing for a man with a head that resem- bled a 60-watt bug bulb, arrested Jack driving his own car through a road block. Jack Santos will teach DISGUISES NO. 101 - The Advantages Of A Wig as well as GETAWAY NO. 102 - TT.C. The Better Way To Go. At R.R.I.C. we will rely not only on the wisdom of experience but also on the exuberance of youth. That's why we'll have the yet unnamed robber from Whangarei, New Zealand teach- ing an advanced course in getaways. This 16-year-old stole a car, smashed it up during his escape and police were able to track him down with the human ear left at the scene of the crash. It was his. Our young kiwi will teach GETAWAY NO. 103 - Body Parts, Keep Them With You At All Times. R.R.I.C. will have a distinct inter- national flavor as we bring in the drunken bank robber from Macroom, Ireland who last week dropped the overcoat he had slung over his arm revealing a hand but no gun to the bank staff he had forced up against the wall. Yelled the robber: "It's an invisible gun!" When bank employees howled with laughter, he fled. Paddy will teach WEAPONS NO. 104 - The Visible Kind Work Best. Lavalle Williams, 20 of Kenner, Louisiana has been named dean of the Weapons Department at R.R.I.C. Lavalle robbed a convenience store in his home town armed only with a can of Off! He sprayed the insect repell- ent into the face of the clerk, got $50 and was caught. Lavalle will teach WEAPONS, NO. 105 - The Disadvantage Of Aerosal Over Roll n. Planning is such a vital part of bank robbery that we'll have two instructors, the two men from Annandale, Virginia who with banda- nas and hand guns rushed to the front door of the First American Bank after manager Dwight Smith entered at 8 a.m. to open up. Unknown to the men, the door automatically locked behind Smith as the bank isn't officially open to customers until 10 a.m. The first robber bounced off the locked door crashing into the second robber knock- ing the first robber into the door again. Dazed, they stumbled off. But you'll benefit from their mis- takes in PLANNING THE HEIST NO. 105 - The Inconvenience Of Banking Hours. In PLANNING NO. 105 - Shawn O'Neill of Escondido, California who was charged with robbing Hussar's Jewelers while he was out on bail awaiting sentence for robbing the same jewelry store twice the previous month will cover Variety - The Spice Of Life. An equal opportunity employer, R.R.I.C. will hire the woman from Meriden, Mississippi, who robbed the Trust Mark National Bank only to have the bundle of money explode with a red dye pack the teller had secretly slipped into her bag. The dye splattered all over this lady and the police officer who was writing her up for illegally parking her getaway car. PLANNING NO. 106 - Keeping Up With Technology will be a double cred- it course. We must act now to establish the Robbers Retraining Institute right here in Canada before these jobs too wind up in Mexico. R.R.I.C. where graduates can make back triple their tuition fees in their first two heists. Letters io the editor To the Editor: Right after Thanksgiving is a good time for us to think about how well off we still are in Cana- da compared to the millions of people in the world who have so much less than we do. One hun- dred and fifty-five million chil- dren in the world live in pover- ty. One hundred million do not go to school. Forty thousand children (yes - 40,000) die quiet- ly every day from so-called "or- dinary malnutrition and dis- ease." These are shocking statistics, but we can help to change them! UNICEF (the United Nations Children's Fund) has been working since 1946 to provide clean water, ad- equate nutrition, immuniza- tion, basic health care and edu- cation to children in 128 countries, and we can easily help to boost their efforts. Many of us remember carry- ing "Unicefboxes™" at Halloween as children, but the practice seems to have fallen off. Why not help revive it at our neigh- borhood schools? Or put a Unicef box in our offices, schools, factories, restaurants, stores or banks during Hallo- ween week? Amounts of money that seem very small to Canadi- ans can be literally life-saving to people in other parts of the world. People who go to Hallo- ween dances or parties could do- nate change for Unicef and probably not even miss it. Very small amounts of money can Donate to Unicef really go a long way - for exam- ple, $10 will buy enough vita- min A to protect 30 toddlers against nutritionally-caused blindness for one year, while $500 will provide the basic edu- cational and teaching materials necessary for a classroom. Our pennies (and dimes, quarters, and loonies) can really add up and make a world of difference to a child! There are even more possible ways to raise money for Unicef. Throw a yard sale and donate the proceeds, keep a box around the house for loose change, then donate it, or buy as presents at Christmas and birthdays the items available in Unicef's gift and card catalogue. People who would like to know more about Unicef (or how to order boxes) are welcome to call the Unicef Ontario office at 416-487-4153. | have a sup- ply of the larger sized boxes for businesses, which local folks (in the Uxbridge and Port Perry area) are welcome to call me about (985-3225). A little bit of extra effort on our part each Halloween could help make small miracles happen in parts of the world where the basic ne- cessities a lot of us take for granted - food, clean water, schools, and basic medical care - are only the stuffof dreams. Sincerely, Janet Banting, Greenbank. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR The Port Perry Star encourages our readers to make use of the letters to the editor column to express their opinions and viewpoints on just about any subject, as we feel a lively letters column helps make a better community newspaper. We insist, however, that all letter writers sign their name. Sorry, no anonymous letter will be printed. Remember When ? HISTORIC PHOTOS COURTESY SCUGOG SHORES MUSEUM 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, October 16, 1947 Mr. and Mrs. Harold Prentice and daughter have moved to South Porcupine where they intend to carry on their barbering and beauty shop business. Mrs. W. J. Buzza (nee Ruth Hall) of Goose Bay, Labrador, is in Trenton securing her discharge from the RAF. The 91st Anniversary Services are being held at St. John's Presbyterian Church this Sunday. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, October 17, 1957 The Canadian Legion Branch 419 donated $100 to Minor Hockey in Port Perry. Minor Hockey members are selling booster pins this year to help raise funds for the club. Port Perry High School student Bob Carnegie added a few new records to his credit in pole vaulting, hop step and jump, plus discus. : Port Perry High School was closed for a week due to the flu epidemic. More than 100 pupils were absent. Mr. Joel Aldred will be the guest speaker at the High School Commencement this year. Reach Council voted a grant of $4,000 to Uxbridge Cottage Hospital. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, October 18, 1962 Rosalind Diemart, niece of Mr. and Mrs. Ray Litt, graduated from the Nightingale School of Nursing in Toronto. Dr. M. B. Dymond addressed the graduating class. The Port Perry Chamber of Commerce have completed the house numbering system in Port Perry. Mrs. Jeanne Dymond and Mrs. Holmes will be delegates from Port Perry to the Ontario Hospital Associations Convention to be held in Toronto. At the 5th Annual Ontario Council 4- H Club Championship Show held at Scott Fair, Uxbridge, Larry Cummings PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8 Pictured above Is the Seagrave Methodist Church, now known as the Seagrave United Church. won first prize in the Benior Beef Heifer Class and Port Perry 4-H Dairy Calf Club won first in Senior Hclstein. 25 YEARS AGO Thursday, October 19, 1967 Port Perry Council has decided to pay the balance of a grant to the Library in the amount of $2,000. The younger members of the Rangers, Guides and Brownies in this community are staging a Halloween Candy Blitz to give a helping hand to the Hospital Building Fund. A six-month-old, 400 pound Hereford steer was shot and killed in broad daylight on a farm in Seagrave by would-be cattle rustlers. Mr. Raymond Kerry, owner of the dead steer, said it was valued at about $130. 20 YEARS AGO Wednesday, October 18, 1972 Clerk-treasurer Neil Brodie told a regular meeting of Port Perry Council that an auction 'sale of nine cabins and their