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"A Famlly Tradition for 125 Years" PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, March 31,1992 - 7 _ Fe Te . os BE RRR A ROE To, mmm oo ' i - The similarities between the pres- ent decline of America and the fall of the Roman Empire are absolutely eery. The death of ancient Rome was pre- ceded by moral confusion, government bureaucracy, over taxation and illitera- cy. Although the manufacture of jewel- ry and weaponry thrived -- culture, architecture and social sharing ceased. Specifically the Roman capital was sacked by the Visigoths {Washington D.C. under siege by drug dealers}, Attila The Hun achieved sudden and sensational victories {Pat Buchanan) and public debauchery finally ended the career of political leader Heliogabalus (Teddy Kennedy}. The last dying whimper of the once- invincible Roman rule heard Caesar whining about an unfair Japanese trade imbalance in foreign-made chariots. More than any other symptom of the disease of decline, sexual depravity among a dulled and intellectually dimmed populace marked the begin- ning of the end of the Roman Empire. imilarly today in the United States an orgy of lascivious extremes seems to be spreading among the American people but the odd thing is it's missing a key ingredient - sex. by William Thomas AMERICA KINKS IN THE ARMOR underway in America that strangely enough lacks an erotic kick. Recently and specifically {and I'm not making these up}: Roy McCarthy, of Clayton, Missouri was charged with three counts of pos- ing as a doctor so as to rub men's feet. Roy was accused of dropping gallon jugs of wine on the feet of three clerks at Dierbergs Market and after identify- ing himself as a doctor, he "manipulat- ed" and "massaged" their feet. Mark Kelley, a psychiatrist in Tulsa, Oklahoma was accused by a patient of having her suck his thumb during therapy. The doctor justified this treatment by saying one of her personalities was "infantile" and need- ed support. The psychiatrist admitted being only "minimally involved" in an incident in which the same patient wound up in a diaper. Charles Guyer, a district judge in Pennsylvania was charged with impro- perly favoring a defendant when he offered a young man a lenient sentence if the man would let Guyer wash their air. Gary Arthur Medrow of Milwaukee, Wisconsin was arrested for at least the 30th time for causing mischief by tele- phoning a woman and trying to per- suade her to physically pick up another ° person and carry that person around the room. Previously Medrow had talked cheerleaders, motel workers and business executives into carrying each other around the room. Medrow's only 'defense was -- he was lonely. Well, what are we to make of all this? : Questions abound. First of all, if the average person finds this kind of strange and slightly sick behavior repugnant, then how come it hasn't been turned into a regu- lar half-hour. series on the Fox Network? Second, had the thumb-sucking therapy continued do you think the psychiatrist would have coated his own thumb with mustard and vinegar to break his patients habit like my mom did to me when I was three, which is why I'm ambidextrous today? And three, in the wake of the sensa- tional cases of Kennedy-Smith, Tyson and the Milwaukee Monster are these instances of kinky stuff without sex actually an encouraging trend? Frankly I don't know what to think of all this. I do know my fears about frequent trips I make to the States have been unfounded. All this time I've been trying to spot the guy with the handgun or the switchblade when I should have been looking over my shoulder for the guy with the tube of Head & Shoulders. I'm curious as to how such mental peculiarities get started and what's really at the root of the disorder. Why did Roy The Toe Rubber choose wine jugs in a market and not anvils in a hardware store? Does Roy really have a foot fetish or is this a thinly disguised protest against the mediocrity of Ernest and Julio Gallo? If Mark The Thumb Sucking Psychiatrist had of met Roy The Toe Rubber could this have developed into a deep and meaningful relationship with them alternating digits on odd/even days of the week? Was Shampoo Charlie's pH balance really that out of whack or were these people in serious need of a wash and rinse? Did it not occur to him that the two cops were undercover when they both showed up draped in white sheets that were tucked in at the collar? And is Dispatch Gary really weird or in arranging around-the-room trans- portation for close friends and co-work- ers was he just trying to invent a sport that would rival the excitement of curling? And {it's almost over folks, honest) could a delicious little day dream come true when Geraldo Rivera, who recent- ly had flesh from his rump injected in his forehead {also true, I swear} hosts a show entitled Kinks In The American Armor in which he sucks his thumb of the psychiatrist while Dispatch Gary carries him all around the studio stop- ping only to have Shampoo Charlie lather his locks while Roy The Toe Rubber in a flash of pure sanity drops a gallon jug of wine on his head. The decline of America - as goes There seems to be a kinky immorality Geraldo, so goes the empire. Qo Zs) When 7? 55,0 eum NEY Remember ORES MUS 3 HISTORIC PHOTOS COURTESY SCUGOG SH Sa While out for a Sunday drive down the main street in Blackstock, this family decided to stop and have a photo taken. Little else is known about this picture. If you can Identify the family, please call the Scugog Shores Museum. 35 YEARS AGO the barn owned by Mr. John Nesbitt, just east of Thursday, March 28, 1957 Nestleton. The Caesarea Fire Brigade was called Ted Jackson, a pilot during World War I, but was able to do little more than prevent the attended a reunion of flight comrades in spread of the blaze to other buildings. The loss Montreal. It was 38 years since he had seen included 40 cattle, 60 pigs, 900 rabbits, 4,000 members of his old squadron and among the bushels of hay and grain. many happy meetings was one with his squad Chic Carnegie, sports writer for the Port Perry leader "Black Mike" McEwan. The following Star said following a game in the arena: "The Port Monday, Mr. Jackson entertained about 20 local Perry Mudcats continued their winning streak by Air Force veterans of World War II. Roy Scott, defeating Orangeville 4-2 in front of 250 loyal veteran of the Army (WWI), was also a guest. hometown fans. Scoring the four goals were Gerry Port Perry High School Junior B girls Robinson, Murray Jones, Ray Jenkins and a second basketball team won the COSSA championship for Gerry Robinson." for the first time in the school's history. High 25 YEARS AGO scorer was Alice Williams and Miss Brock was Thursday, March 30, 1967 coach. Port Perry first defeated Stouffville 36-33 Roy Scott, a member of the 58th infantry and in the final downed Burks Falls 26-22. battalion of the third division of the Canadian 30 YEARS AGO Army during WWI, has been selected to present a Thursday, March 29, 1962 Fire was discovered early Friday morning in PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8 Lette I'S to the editor Think before you vote To the Editor: Who received the 30 pieces of silver? What kind of a union do you have? A legitimate, well published vote is called and because your plant chairperson doesn't like the results he wants another vote. Is this democracy or dictatorship? What people before you have literally died for, you are ready to throw away with the stroke of a pen. Concessions have never and will never save jobs. Whether 4,000 jobs are lost has already been decided and nothing will change it unless the economy turns around. How many times has G.M. said they were lay-| ing off and didn't? p% This is just a smoke screen. | First they want compulsary over- time, then tamper with your hard fought seniority rights, then what? Pensions? Drug plan? No more 30 and out. Believe me, once you allow them to start making concessions they won't stop. My advise to anyone that has the opportunity of retiring is do so now while there is still benefits for you. With the type of leadership you now have there won't be anything left. Think before you vote. Local 222 was always a union to look up to and for 18 years our desire was to one day be amalgamated but now I'd rather be decertified, at least we would still have our digni- ty and integrity. If 4,000 members lose their jobs they would be the lucky ones. They could never be sold out again by an organization that used to be for their interests. Shirley Prentice, President U.R.W. Local 921 It did leave a mark To the Editor: Last Friday I went into the Port Perry Plaza to return a parcel to Sears. I parked at the end of a row, leaving a space to my left for another car to park. While in at Sears, I noticed a large four door gold Parisienne with two occupants pull into the empty space. Just as I approached my car, the passenger, an older woman, opened her door not taking care of how far it open- ed. Bang! It hit my driver's door leaving a two inch mark. "Oh it won't leave a mark, I am sure of it," she replied and she rushed off with her husband who had disappeared from the scene. My first thought was to take the licence plate number, but what good would that do. My second thought was why do I drive a nice car anyway? I might as well drive a rusted out piece of metal. My third thought was to bang her car door but I have too much respect for other people's property. It is people like you who decrease the value of a good car in a mere second. My remedy to this problem? In- considerate people like you should ride to town in the trunk, then you would be sure not to hit anyone else's car when you get out. Kelly Gatchell LETTERS TO THE EDITOR The Port Perry Star encourages our readers to make use of the letters to the editor column to express their ust about any subject, as we feel a lively letters column h er community newspaper. We insist, however, that all letter writers sign their name. Sorry, no anonymous letter will be printed. nions and vi ho owpcinks on pe ------ -. -- rma Sp | | et a HA th cr TY, NC eet eam