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Good Government, Good Grief! - From page 5 Opposition Member: "To Mr. Godfrey, Minister of State for Infrastructure and Communications; Your ludicrous title notwithstanding, you must know our municipalities are starving for money. They have real and immediate needs ranging from infra structure improvements to help for the homeless. When will you listen?" Mr. Godfrey: "Is the Honourable Member serious? We give tax deductions for donations to federal and provincial politicians. We do not give them for contributions to municipal candidates. What does that tell you? If we transfer money to municipalities, who gets the credit? Not us! Get serious. Maybe we'll give them something but only with enough strings attached that we can claim credit if it works and lay off the blame if it doesn't." Opposition Member: "Mr. Speaker, to Jean Augustine, Secretary of State for Multiculturalism or to the Minister - of Whatever Department Gives Away Flags To People; Why just Canadian flags? Why not give away flags of all nations? We're a multi-cultural society after all." Ms. Augustine: "Because I never thought of it, that's why, and damned if I'll do it now because you thought of it first. You'll have to be in power to do that. Nyah, Nyah, Nyah." Opposition Member: "Mr. Speaker, to Mr. Dosanjh, Health Minister; The health of Canadians and the health of the Health System was supposed to be a priority of your government . What has improved?" Mr. Dosanjh: What a mess! I never wanted this portfolio to begin with. Involvement with the Health System is the Career Kiss of Death in more ways than one. Nothing seems to work. It's a bottomless pit. If you want to take over this portfolio, go right ahead. Opposition Member: "Mr. Speaker, to Ken Dryden, Minister of Social programs or Something; What are you up to? We've heard nothing about your portfolio since you acquired it." Mr. Dryden: "I'm working hard to include hockey and lacrosse sticks in the Gun Registry. The way Canadians use these things, they're dangerous weapons. Ha! And you thought I was just a pretty face! Well, you get the idea. - George Underhill Weather - Cont'd from page 7 'til we're complaining about the heat in July and August. Oh yes. About the beep, beep. Several years ago noting my marked interest in temperature, Valerie bought me a remote temperature reading thermometer. The measuring unit was outside and I would read it on my bedside table. It beeped when temperatures got in the freezing range. Late this fall the sending unit fell out of its holder so Valerie bought me a new unit (it doesn't beep). So now I have a unit outside at the back of the house and one outside at the front of the house. Also my car reads the outside tempera- ture so I can talk knowledgably to any and all about the weather and compare the difference between Milford and Picton. To get her own back Valerie bought one of those glass tow- ers filled with liquid and little coloured glass balls that float up and down giving you the temperature. It was invented by Galileo back in the 16™ century. She has it ensconced in the living room and insists on telling me the temperature every evening. Real Canadian Eh! - John A Jackson Black River Accounting Services Robin Ferguson Complete Bookkeeping Services Financial Statements & Income Tax Returns with EFILE 1675 Old Milford Rd. Milford, Ontario KOK 2P0 Phone 613-476-7731 Fax 613-476-8281 3 Coming to Cinefest: Mon Feb 21: Ray Bio- pic about Ray Charles. Beautifully photographed, great music