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|The South Marysburgh Mirror 14] Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem Of The Month - Truce is better than friction According to a survey - 1. 28% of Canadians think houses can be haunted 2. 24% believe we can mentally communicate with the dead le 3. 13% believe in witches 4, 37% believe the devil exists 5. 56% believe in angels Three dolts are in the forest when they spot a set of tracks Dolt #1 says, "Hey, deer tracks." Dolt #2 says, "No, dog tracks." ni #3 says, "You're both crazy - they're cow racks." They were still arguing when the train hit them. Classified Ad Bloopers 1. Used cars - Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first. 2. Wanted - Man to take care of cow that does not smoke 3. Auto Repair Service - Free pickup and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. 4. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. 5. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1: 6. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Pat's Jams Jams Chutneys Relishes Diabetic jam also Gift Baskets available from $10 Ready-made or made to order Wedding favours Visit our jam house! 113 Morrison Point Road Phone 476-6929 _ Top Fire Safety Tips 1. Don't smoke in the house or on a wooden deck. 2. Install smoke detectors on every floor of your home and change the batteries regularly. 3. Have a Canadian Standards Assn. approved fire extin- guisher in your kitchen. Keep it in good repair and make sure everyone knows how to use it. 4. Plan how to leave your home and where the family should meet outdoors. 5. If there's a fire, call 911 immediately. Don't wait to see if you can extinguish it yourself. Old Houses at Midnight Old houses at midnight hold a sinister tone With rooms at their blackest, with you all alone. Shapes form in shadows, there's icy damp chills Whispers and rustlings bring unwelcome thrills. You tug high the blankets and try hard to sleep When a step on the floorboard makes a sudden loud creek! Then next comes a series of moans and a sigh, The strange scent of lilacs, wide awake now you lie. Till at least comes the dawn bringing sunshine and li To sweep away phantoms that danced through the night. Old houses have romance, have charm, I admit, If enjoyed in a CROWD, with room brightly LIT. But me? I'll take modem, a high-rise I crave Where silence is golden and it's still as a - grave. OH DEAR!!! (By local poet, Bea Lotz) Exit Line - Did you hear about the fellow who had a big fight with his wife about whether it's all right to spend one night a week out with the boys? He doesn't think she should.