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A ng -- JANUARY 21, 1971 TERRACE BAY NEWS PAGE 11 THE BILL SMILEY COLUMN During his span on earth, unless he is an ostrich, every man is al- ternately appalled and delighted with life. Perhaps that's one rea- son the idea of a paradise on earth will never truly appeal to the multitudes. It would be too bland. In theory, a life without pain, hunger, disease, cold, war, would be embraced by all. In practice, we shun such an existence, even though it could be achieved if all of humanity wanted it badly enough. It would lack spice. And sugar. Probably that's why the great novels about a utopia are basic- ally satires on man. From More's "Utopia" to Golding's "Lord of the Flies", outstanding writers have portrayed utopia as a para- dise smeared by good old human nature, or bad old human nature, if you will. At two different periods in my life, I lived in an ordered society. They were sort of mini- utopias. One was in prison camp. We had complete socialism. Every- one got the same amount of food, drink and time in the la- trine. There was complete free- dom of speech. Everyone shared the duties and chores of the community. Another was in a sanatorium. We were treated alike, whether ex-private in the army or ex-offi- cer in the air force. Same food, same rules, same shots in the bum for all. And in both cases, we loathed it. All we wanted to do, in both institutions, was to get out, to get back to the sinful, sordid, disordered, cruel, kind, hurtful, blessed life of the human indi- vidual in a crazy society. If you don't have moments in life that are appalling and de- lightful, squalid and splendid, you can stop reading now. Close your eyes, fold your arms and lie down. You're dead, and you might as well be comfortable. When I stop being appalled or delighted by life, I will do what so many kids do. I will start snif- fing nail-polish remover or taking speed. Perhaps that is why they do it. Well, what's to be appalled or delighted about these days? Plenty. The list is endless and you can make up your own. I am appalled by the Viet Nam war, surely the most sense- less since the Hundred Years War. Nobody is winning, nobody is losing, nobody knows who will wear the crown if the stupid thing ever ends. I am delighted that all my storm windows are on, eighty per cent of my leaves are raked, and that there is oil in the tank and food in the freezer. I am appalled at the successor to the War Measures. Act, which is completely unnecessary unless there is a heck of a lot more I am delighted that my daughter still loves me so much that on the weekend she allowed me to furnish a new winter coat, new boots, a posh dinner and an expensive show without once mentioning the Generation Gap or saying, "Dad, there's no way you could understand." : I am appalled at the prices charged for said dinner, and the amount of food wasted, to go to the pigs. Why can't expensive restaurants give you a half- portion at half-price or a little more, instead of assuming that you are a hog? I was delighted, next morn- ing, with breakfast in bed, but appalled at the sixty cents for a glass of orange juice and thirty cents each for muffins. Plus tip. I am appalled at the manners of many young people, and de- lighted with their courage and compassion. I am appalled by the traffic in the city, and delighted when I can park illegally and not get caught. : Life is a balance. Appalled. Delighted. Such are the children of earth. May you long be one of them. . - going on than the government admits. My appallment reaches shock level when I think that a - cop could enter my house, ask me if I'd changed my socks in the last week, and throw me in jail if I hadn't. SLAFF OF THE WEEK 33 ye a - vy & Guess who's the last one around to have snow on their walk? Traffic would be a lot safer if drivers tried to keep a little extra margin of safety, says the Ontario Safety League. If you avoid "near misses", you'll avoid accidents. TREVOR THE Opp TRAFFIC BUG SAYS : } A LWomAN DRIVER IS A PERSON WHO DRIVES THE SAME wrY R MAN DOES .. ONLY SHE GeTS BLEMED For IT