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The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: Share your burden with a friend; two can carry a pail easier than one. 7 A preacher went to call on a member of his flock, a bachelor farmer, and found him milking a cow. "Be with you in a moment," the farmer said. When he finished milking, he li(cid:332)ed the pail to his mouth, drank from it deeply, gave the rest to the dog and cats and hung up the pail. sigh of accomplishment, the bachelor farmer said, "Milking's over, supper's over, chores are done and the dishes put away. What can I do for you?" An old farmer's advice:   Don't interfere with something that isn't bothering the preacher with a Turning to  Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.  Le(cid:427)ng the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier  you.  Most of the stuff people worry about aren't ever than pu(cid:427)ng it back in. going to happen anyway.  The best sermons are lived, not preached.  Speak kindly, care deeply, leave the rest to God. Did you hear about the new supermarket? It has an automa(cid:415)c water mister to keep the produce fresh. Before it goes on you hear distant thunder and smell fresh rain. When you approach the milk case, you hear cows mooing and smell the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle. The veggie department features the smell of bu(cid:425)ered corn. Needless to say, I don't buy toilet paper there anymore. "Yes, I know", said another. "My cataracts are so "I couldn't even mark an X at elec(cid:415)on (cid:415)me, my "I forget where I am and where I'm going," said "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" "My arms have go(cid:425)en so weak I can hardly li(cid:332) this "I guess that's the price we pay for ge(cid:427)ng old," A group of seniors were si(cid:427)ng around talking about all their ailments. cup of coffee," said one bad, I can't even see my coffee. hands are so crippled," volunteered a third. "What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you." "I can't turn my head because of the arthri(cid:415)s in my neck," said a fourth to which several nodded weakly in agreement. exclaimed another. another. winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. cheerfully. "Thank God we can all s(cid:415)ll drive." "Hello, Mrs. Miller," said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop. The lady and her husband looked at him but drew complete blanks. "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" she asked. Honey, good job." Exit lines: Q. What does a liar do after he's dead? A. He lies still. Q. Why did the coffee file a police report? A. Because it was mugged. "Yeah, you was my English teacher." Leaning over, her husband whispered, "Good job, The others nodded in agreement. "Well, count your blessings," said a woman Local Maple Syrup for Sale Wilbur Miller 119 County Road 16 Black River 613.476.8350 The South Marysburgh Mirror May 2018 Volume 32 Number 4 Published monthly by Steve Ferguson, 3032 County Road 10, PO Box 64, Milford, ON K0K 2P0 T: 613.476.9104 E: themirror@kos.net W: www.southmarysburghmirror.com ISSN Number 1181-6333 (Print Edition) ISSN Number 2292-5708 (Online Edition)