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TheThe South Marysburgh MirrorMirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: Those who would choose friends over fortune know true wealth. 7 Here are a few facts o life:  Life is sexually transmi(cid:425)ed.  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.  All of us could take a lesson from the weather; it pays no a(cid:425)en(cid:415)on to cri(cid:415)cism.  Death is the number one killer in the world. At his 103rd birthday party, an old gentleman was asked if he planned to be around for his 104th. "I certainly do," he replied. "Sta(cid:415)s(cid:415)cs show that very few people die be- tween the ages of 103 and 104." A couple went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if the lady wanted a western or an English saddle and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one did- n't, to which she replied, "The horse without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into much traffic." A woman received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She le(cid:332) work and stopped at the pharmacy for some medica(cid:415)on. When she returned to her car, she was dismayed to find she had locked her keys inside. She had to get the medica(cid:415)on to her daughter and phoned the babysi(cid:425)er who told her that her daugh- ter was worse. The si(cid:425)er suggested she might use a coat hanger to get the door unlocked. The lady borrowed a coat hanger from the phar- macy but realized she didn't know what to do when she got to the car. Feeling quite hopeless, she bowed her head and asked God for help. Immediately an old rusty car pulled up driven by a dirty bearded man. The woman thought to herself, "Great! Is THIS what you sent to help me?" But she was desperate and decided any help was be(cid:425)er than no help at all. The man got out of the car and asked if he could help. The woman explained her circumstances and asked if he could use the hanger to unlock the car. The man walked over to the car and in seconds the door was unlocked. Tearfully, the woman showed her appreciated. "Thank you so much. You are a very nice man and an answer to my prayer." The man replied, "Lady, I ain't a nice man. I just got out of jail for car the(cid:332)." In even greater apprecia(cid:415)on the woman cried out loud, "Thank you for sending me a professional." A woman was sipping a glass of wine while si(cid:427)ng on the pa(cid:415)o with her husband. A(cid:332)er a few minutes, she said, "I love you so much I don't know how I could ever live with- out you." Her husband asked, "Is that you or the wine talking?" Exit Lines: Did you know that they start each session of the Senate with a prayer? I think it starts off with, "Now I lay me down to sleep…" Read The Mirror on-line & in colour at www.southmarysburghmirror.com