Ontario Community Newspapers

South Marysburgh Mirror, 1 Jan 2019, p. 7

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The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: Don't overlook life's small joys while searching for the big one. 7 Out of the mouths of babes…. A  young  mother  was  riding  the  bus  with  her  four-year- old son when he suddenly blurted out so everyone in the  bus hear him, "Look, Mom, see that man's nose? It looks  sooo funny!"     The mother was quite embarrassed and whispered  to  him  that  if  there  was  something  he  wanted  to  say  about someone,  he should wait un(cid:415)l  they  got home so  nobody would be sad.    A  moment  later,  the  tot  blurted  out  in  the  same  loud voice, "Look mom, we've got to talk about that big  fat lady when we get home."    Stumpy  and  his  wife,  Martha,  went  to  the  county  fair  every  year.  Every  year,  Stumpy  would  say,  "Martha,  I'd  like  to  ride  in  that  there  airplane."  And  every  year  Martha  would  say,  "I  know,  Stumpy,  but  that  airplane  ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars."   Finally, Stumpy says, "Martha, I'm 71 years old and    if I don't go for a ride this year, I may never get another  chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there plane ride  costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars."    The pilot overhears them and says, "Folks, I'll make  you a deal. I'll take you for a ride on one condi(cid:415)on. If you  can stay quiet and not say one word, I won't charge you,  but, if you say one word, it'll be 10 dollars."    Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The  pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives but  not a word did he hear. Finally, he landed and turned to  Stumpy. "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get  you to yell but you didn't."    when Martha fell out but 10 dollars is 10 dollars."  Stumpy replied, "Well, I was going to say something  www.southmarysburghmirror.com Isn't making a "smoking" sec(cid:415)on in a bar or restaurant a  lot like making a "peeing" sec(cid:415)on in a public pool?    A fly was buzzing over a pasture one day when he saw a  female fly si(cid:427)ng on a cow chip.  Buzzing down to her, he  lands and says, "Pardon me, is this stool taken?"  Exit Lines: I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all readers greetings of the season and a healthy and prosperous 2019. If this column has provided a laugh for you, my purpose has been realized. D.A.M. Another first for South Marysburgh! Potato Festival Milford Town Hall Friday, January 25th from 7 to 9 p.m. Family Bingo $1.00/card for all night Maximum 3 cards Saturday, January 26th from 10:00 a.m. Everything to do with Potatoes! Potato stamping and crafts for the kids Interesting facts about potatoes Lunch based on potatoes Games of skill Meet Bud the Spud!

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