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The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina’s Column Gem for the month: The best antiques you can have are old friends. A blonde wanting to earn some money decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvass- ing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about fifty dollars?” The man agreed and told her the paint and the ladders were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and asked, “Does she realize the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should, she was stand- ing on the porch.” short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You're finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde replied, “and | had paint left over so | gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.” It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply all the mead his son-in-law could drink. Mead is a honey wine and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called ‘honey month’ or what we know today as the honeymoon. A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found nothing physically wrong with him and told him so. “Listen if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.” “| know,” said the man, “but | can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone.” Although she was supposed to be working, Jennifer decided to visit a fortune teller of local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.” Shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s face, then at the flickering candle, then down at her hands. She met the fortune teller’s gaze and asked in breath- less voice, “Will | be acquitted?” Definitions from Kids The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom. e Momentum is something you give a person when they go away. Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana. Thunder is a rich source of loudness. Exit Line: A generation ago, most people who finished a day’s work needed rest. Now they need exercise. { Point to Point PEC Foundation Speaking Up for Wildlife Rights & Protecting Habitat and Fly Zones Their rights, our responsibility Please visit us at www.pointtopointpec.ca or telephone Richard Copple at 613-476-8074 for more information