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The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina’s Column Gem for the month: Gentle words fall lightly but they have great weight. The driver of a car with an ice-covered windshield had several near accidents before being stopped by a police car. “Don’t you think it would help if you cleaned the ice off the windshield?” the officer asked. “| don’t think so,” was the reply. “I left my glasses at home.” Lessons Learned from a Ninety-year-old Person... e Life isn’t fair but it’s still good. Pay off your credit cards every month. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheque. « Burn the candles, use nice sheets, and wear fan- cy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. Be eccentric. Don’t wait for old age to wear pur- ple. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. Frame every so-called disaster with these words — In five years will this matter? She saved and stinted day by day On her ambitions climb; No chance to catch a bride’s bouquet In time. She saved caresses for the years When hoarding would be done... Love lay, along a trail of tears, A skeleton She saved her spring and summer, too — Now autumn haunts her sleep... Too late to sow, she turns to view What others reap. A busload of politicians was driving down a country road when it ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer’s barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff was passing by and saw the crashed bus. He asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer told him he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, “Lordy, were they ALL dead?” The old farmer replied, “Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know how crooked politi- cians lie. New Year's Resolutions for Pets | will NOT chase the stick until | SEE IT LEAVE THE IDIOT’S HAND. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. Cats: Use the new living room sofa as a scratch- ing post. Get a bite in on the freak who gives me that nee- dle every year. Take time from my busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds. Come to understand that cats are from Venus, dogs from Mar: | will no longer be beholden to the sound of a can opener. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. | do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. | will not lick my human’s face after eating ani- mal poop. Exit Lines: Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indi- cated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps. Write ideas down; they get lost like good pens. The person who says he has nothing to do is usually very good at the job. Copy & Advertising Deadline for the March edition of The Mirror is February 25th. Pat's Playhouse Hand Made Scarves-Mitts-Socks-Hats Toys-Baby & Lap Quilts-Receiving Blankets Books & Mailboxes NEW! Ready-made or custom-made gift baskets, and a variety of local organic fruit jams are now available for the holiday season. Pat York, 113 Morrison Pt. Rd. 613.476.6929 Follow me at Pat's Playhouse on Facebook!