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The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina’s Column Gem for the month: The easiest way to stay awake during an after-dinner speech is to deliver it. A city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the gen- eral store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the cheque, the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating over his success and telling the rancher, “You know | hate to tell you this, old man, but | put one over on you in there. | couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch. | didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. | fluffed you.” The old rancher replied, “Well, I'll tell you, young feller, | was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home in the morning.” Some first graders were asked to complete these proverbs: Don’t change horses ...... until they stop running Don’t bite the hand that ... looks dirty. A miss is as good as a... Mr. If you lie down with dogs .... You'll stink in the morning. An idle mind is ... the best way to relax. Where there’s smoke...there’s pollution. Happy the bride who .... Gets all the presents. ° oe oo? Curious when she found two old black and white negatives in a drawer, a woman had them made into prints. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer version of her taken on one of her first dates with her hus- band. When she showed him the photos, his face lit up. “Wow, Look at that,” he said with apprecia- tion, “It’s my old Plymouth!” While on a car trip, the old couple stopped at a restaurant for lunch. The old woman left her glass- es on the table, but didn’t miss them until they had travelled quite a distance. After turning around to go back, the old man fussed and complained all the way. When they finally arrived and the woman went to retrieve her glasses, her husband said, “While you’re there, you may as well get my hat, too.” Exit lines: ¢ I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me. ¢ Live a good and honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. EXCLUSIVE AFFILIATE OF CHRISTIE’S INTERNATIONAL REAL ESTATE| Energetic ID /ar-laalle Disease CHESTNUT PARK REAL ESTATE LIMITED, BROKERAGE