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NAL SIRT or LTR Te IMMER, 2 10 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, January 29, 1991 | Boysoboys, lettuce tell you one darnsure thing about the Year 1991: with all the nutso stuff whizzing past your eyeballs these days, Sy professional pundit suffering from "Writer's Block" should give serious consideration to oth- er fields of employment. More from habit than anything else, your correspondent still keeps pencil and pad hand while watching or reading the news. With those whackos and weird things making head- lines on a daily basis, jotting down items as we did for our old "Editor's Notebook" column each week at The Amityville bugle is simply too tempting to ignore. Care for a sample or two? Item: -- Lloyds of London, the 303 fear old insurance institution famous for its willingness to insure almost anything under (or behind) the sun, was forced to unlock its doors for the first time on Sunday last week. Why were Lloyd and the lads clocking a spot of O/T? The firm was burning the midnight oil (almost literally, it turns out) to stay current with "Iraq vs. The World." You can betcher Begonias that Lloyds has a large bag of marbles at risk in that arena. ha ~3 psi n nature lovers are Lil ning up the danger flag again, expressing deep oon 104 for the nt OE The Great ier Reef. Last year the Reef supposedly faced a life- threatening crisis, courtesy of the Greenhouse Effect. This year's menace is a bit more pithy...the giant barrier is taking a licking be- cause tourists standing on the reef apparently can't resist the urge to go wee-wee with all that water lapping at their feet. Item: -- The auto industry recently released data on "most frequently stolen" vehicles in 1990. For the fourth year in a row, the 1986 Che- vy Camaro ranks first. However, it was the umber 4 vehicle which caught our eye: a 1988 Hyundai! Humm, what gives here? Most Hyun- dai owners we've encountered would be some- what less than emotionally shattered by such a loss. Ahh, at the bottom of the page rests a clue. The industry notes: "quite often cars are stolen for parts." Item: -- A Florida dentist is suing Eastern Airlines for big bucks. Bruce Jacobs and his wife claim they suffered "emotional distress" when an Eastern pilot saved the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Congeniality, along with all the other passen- gers, by landing his crippled aircraft sa ely de- spite overwhelming odds. Good thing the guy id. Imagine how upset Brucie would have been if he'd died! "Hey Buddy, can you spare me a breather?" by John James Item: -- rators of war surplus stores in Canada were sold out of gas masks three days after the war with Iraq began. --- Say what? -- Last time we checked, the range on an Iraqi modified Scud missile was approximately miles, and likelihood of the thing landing any where near what it was aimed at were about the same as observing one of the Toronto Blue Jays' multi-millionaires properly execute a sacrifice bunt. Item: -- Mohawk "Warriors" near Montreal, who killed a Quebec police officer, blocked a major bridge connecting Montreal with the South Shore for weeks, and cost taxpayers mil- lions and millions of dollars for several months last summer are now demanding $75,000,000 in compensation. from the government for revenue losses suffered because their illegal cigarette smuggling and gambling operations were blocked by authorities. Stay tuned for an even funnier item, as Brian Mulroney hands over the money, and announces a matching $75,000,000 grant to Quebec "in the interests of national uni- id Item: -- Researchers are conducting an in- tensive study of cattle to measure the effect of "cow burps" on the ozone layer. Early estimates suggest that approximately 15% of the methane presently permeating the earth's atmos here may come from burping beef herds; an that substance is a primary suspect in the much bal- lyhooed "Green House Effect" which might some ay wipe us off the planet. Ahh, we know what oure thinking: "could emissions from the ORTH end of a cow be anywhere near as dan- gerous as fumes emanating from the SOUTH end of the same beast?" Researchers say the sec- ond source is nowhere near as lethal. Which shows you how much researchers know. Last item: -- Demonstrating incredible tim- ing and sensitivity to international affairs, a re- tired weekly newspaper publisher from Amity- ville boards a Britis Alrways 747 in Detroit (home base for lots of U.S. military production}, to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, pass over a Scot- tish town called Lockerbie, and land at Heath- row Airport in London on Monday, January 28. The process will hopefully be reversed one week ater. As a result of that business trip, this column will not appear next week. If it doesn't appear in subsequent weeks, you probably won't be anywhere near as upset as he will. COUNTRY UPHOLSTERY Free Pickup DONNA ANDERSON & Delivery 705-328-1 156 Free Estimates ~ Please recycle this newspaper J C A N A D N T E R N A T I O N A L FARM HQUIPMENT SHOW See your local farm equipment dealer and supply outlet for special discount registration form. February 5-8, 1991 Toronto International Centre 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Tuesday thru Thursday 9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Friday Canada's agri-business showcase Sponsored by (IEE For further information contact CIFES: (705) 741-2536 The French debate From Page 8 poorly in these subjects and be handicapped in the future. Also the quality of teaching in French Immersion varies greatly." Not that immersion never works. As Nash also notes, anglophones in the French milieu of Montreal do well in immersion because of constant reinforce- ment. Similarily, one suspects francophones who entered im- mersion in Ontario would also do very well. But that immersion is good for some shouldn't lead schools, media or anyone else to propose it as the be-all and end-all of French-language instruction. After all, immersion probably won't give most anglophone students the edge for government- related jobs or social position that lies at the base of their parents desire to enrol them in the first place. When it comes to jobs ser- ving francophones, there is much talk about the need for people who are 'culturally sensitive,' a skill often considered lacking in even fluently bilingual anglophones. In other words, being bilingual isn't enough.. One has to be born to the culture to be truly French. For most, immersion isn't much help. Nash quotes one language expert (Bibeau) to the effect im- mersion French is 'sufficiently artifical to be void of cultural relevance.' Far better that the enormous resources that now go into immersion programs be spent on better core French pro- grams, where French is taught 40 minutes a day as a foreign language. Yours truly, Shirley Deakin, Greenbank, Ontario Remember When? (From page 7) evening. The "Japanese" theme was portrayed by a huge Pagoda in the centre of the auditorium. Over 400 students and ex- students were in attendance. Miss Lexie Love was named Prin- cess and Joanne Vanderheide Queen for 1966. Miss Violet Skerratt has accepted the honourary position of Chief Marching Mother for Port Perry in the March of Dimes Campaign to be held here Monday, January 31. Manchester News - Mr. Lawrence Best, Cathy and Richard spent Saturday in Toronto. The trip was made by train from Myrtle, a first train ride for Richard. Greenbank News - Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Elwood Clements who celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary last Saturday. They were entertained at the home of their daughter and son-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd Somerville of Brooklin. Blackstock News - Mr. and Mrs. Neil Malcolm, accompanied by Mr. and Mrs. Howard Malcolm, Yelverton, attended the open- ing of parlianfent in Ottawa on Tuesday. 20 YEARS AGO Wednesday, January 27, 1971 Dr. Wm. Cohoon, sporting a promising looking Centennial beard took over the reign of President of the Chamber of Com- merce from past president Ted Griffen at the annual Chamber of Commerce Meeting held last week. A half ton truck, owned by Mr. Eric Scriver and a car, owned by Mr. Ben Bohan were destroyed by fire last Saturday night which also destroyed the garage-workshop owned by Mr. Scriver of Rosa Street, Port Perry. Congratulations to David Porter, now skating out of Toron- to, and his partner, Barbara Berezowski, for capturing the Jun- jor Dance Championship and placing fifth in the Senior Dance Competition at the Canadian Figure Skating Championships. Presentation of a very esteemed Service Diploma was made to Mr. and Mrs. Percy VanCamp by Victor Malcolm, retiring president of the Blackstock Agricultural Society. Mrs. Eva Wilson celebrated her 88th birthday this past week at the nursing home. 10 YEARS AGO Wednesday, January 28, 1981 About 25 employees of Port Perry Hospital set up picket lines at 6:30 Monday morning as part of a strike by CUPE mem- bers at 65 hospitals across Ontario. ' Durham Regional council last week approved plans for a de- tailed hydrogeology study as the first step in adding 100 acres to {he Scugog dump located on Regional Road 8 just west of Port erry. The Blackstock Agricultural Society new executive for 1981 are Bob Swain, Joyce Kelly, Linda McLaughlin, Ken Crawford and Jim Byers. Port Perry Pee Wee Legionaires won the silver medal in the annual tournament Saturday. Port lost a nail-biter 7-6 to a team from Wellington in the final. The fourth annual Port Perry Snowarama in aid of crippled kids will get underway this Sunday. ee a yu COUNTRY LANE REALTY LTD. Hwy. 7A & High Street - Port Perry, Ont 985-7351 Aa adepeadently owed ind wpe sted member teoker of Coldwell Ranken Mlcostor of Canada Ine ® CoLDWeELL. BANKER OO RESIDENTIAL REAL ESTATE GIG RERUI CREA IE {1 JJ cI RTs Ey) common sense. No one thinks he needs MICE RR UE NEE HCE REE -- FG -- on SR SN SE a RW A a IN a LS lL [8 i