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i | A ty Pn A eB 12 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, October 24, 1989 Couple reaps rewards of foster parenting "Foster parenting is not for everyone. It can be tough at times." Deanna Hill of Port Perry knows what she is talking about. She and her husband Hugh have been foster parents for 16 years, and during that time, they have opened their home to numerous children, most with troubled backgrounds. The Hills are among over 100 foster families located all over Durham Region who pro- vide care under the direction of the Childrens Aid Society. youngsters of all ages, some for Justa short stay, others for long- er periods. "There is no way you'll ever get rich being foster parents," said Mr. Hill with a smile. But both he and Deanna say that despite the ups and downs of fostering, there are special "intangible rewards" that make it all worthwhile. They especially enjoy the on-going contact from kids now YL grown into adults who go out of their way to "keep in touch." They get letters and cards, phone calls and visits, especial- ly around Christmas time. "Some of them just drop in, but for us, the more the merri- er," said Deanna. The Hills presently have two foster children living with them in their comfortable Port Perry home. They have two sons in their 20's and a 17-year old daughter whois still at home. Mrs. Hill believes the se- cret to successful fostering is lot of listening and understand- ing. I often sit up in the middle of the night, just to listen to what they have to say," she ex- plained. But she concedes there are times when all the listening, the understanding and the caring just aren'tenough. "It can be tough. There are rough times," she said. But after 15 years, the Hills say they have no intention of givingitall up. They got into fostering by accident when they lived in Frankford, north of Belleville. One afternoon, one of their sons, who was about 14 at the time, brought a friend home and asked if he could stay the night. He stayed a couple of nights and the Hills eventually found out, their guest was hav- ing problems at home. They made some enquiries through the local Childrens Aid Society, and one thing led to an- other. since. Over the years, the Hills have taken great care to involve their own three children is the fostering process. "We have always felt it was very important to discuss things fully with our children,' said Mrs. Hill. She adds that once the fam- ily makes the decision to take in a foster child, that child be- comes a "member of our family." Aas hy] n > a TT Th Th Te Te Te rT Th TT TAY FERRE } [¥ ELL SL ol SL al LoL SL od Ld Lol mL BLL wd WATCH FOR... hn] [¥ Belgium Chocolate Letters Small: Special $1.90 Reg. $2.60 Large: Special $6.99 Reg. $8.60 Order your corporate gift chocolates now forChristmas. Ask about our special rates. Lay Away Available. Nuts About You Gift Room. Opening soon to serve you better. 182 Queen St. Port Perry 985-0761 YOU'LL There is always an initial period of adjustment when a new child arrives. , Mrs. Hill said it takes two or three weeks for her to figure out if the foster child can be helped or even wants to be helped. That's where the listening, the understanding, the caring and the loving come in. Obviously, rules have to be set and followed. And the Hills have always encouraged their foster children to take part- time jobs for extra spending money and to get involved with Mr. and Mrs. Hill are active in a local Association for Foster Parents and she conducts train- ing courses for foster families. Foster families receive pay- ment through the Chidrens Aid Society for the additional ex- penses, but it barely covers the costs. The Hills mostly have cared for teen-agers, but some- times Childrens Aid will call in the middle of the night with an emergency short-term situa- tion. "A child needs a place to stay. We have never turned one away yet," said Mrs. Hill. Later this month, the Hills will join other foster families from all over the Region at an appreciation dinner in Bow- manville hosted by the Chil- drens Aid Society. { : Itis a small way of just say- i Last year alone, these fos- the ability to listen. They became foster par- volunteer work at a hospital or ing thanks for the work these i ter families took in nearly 500 "You have tobe abletodoa ents and have been at it ever nursinghome. families do. As Mrs. Hill points out, fos- ter parenting is not for every- one. It can be very stressful. But any family which would like more information about fostering, is invited to contact the Childrens Aid Socie- ty of Durham Region. yaa, As--~ Now Available 0) 01 TAR: UA odo) i vl oe) TAS Hugh and Deanna Hill of Port Perry have been foster parents for 15 years. They say that fostering is not for every- one, and the financial rewards are skimpy at best. 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