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All who hate meat market beauty contests, take comfort. They just might become extinct, giving way to a new spectacle--flesh and blood markets. Toronto's chief medical officer has recom- mended to the city's health board that the legal age for buying cigarettes be raised from 18 to 19 and that age of majority cards be required to make that purchase. What a great idea. Instead of 12-year-olds posing as 18-year-olds we'll have 13-year-olds posing as 19-year-olds. Think of all the young lungs we'll save with that extra year. to throw his hard-earned money into a pack a day habit when for the same amount he can buy a weekly two-four of beer-unless he's already ad- dicted to cigarettes? However, young adults being what they are, a little social smoking. For these folks we must offer incentive not to smoke. Grand Champion Lungs. to draw in the contestants--would be university good old cash, cars and more cars. Entrants would be judged solely on their mind indulging. vibrant; full of efficient, cleansing tissue. There'll be no more beauties parading around One Woman's View ~ by Chris Carlisle and judges will be treated to tell-it-all videos made by tiny fibre optic cameras eyeing up the par- ticipants' lungs from the inside. Points will be awarded for healthy flesh and tissue and deducted for gray and black spots. Of course, there'll still be the talent competition--hopefuls will be invited to suck in a lungful of air and let out a scream. Loudest and longest gets the most points. Points will also be scored when judges listen "to the sound of participants' beating hearts, broad- cast over loudspeakers. Strong, steady beats gain over the wimps. For intelligence, entrants will still have to But it's true that if we can keep the youngin's answer those mind-boggling questions such as from lighting up, once they reach adulthood they'll why they entered the contest. But they won't be be less likely to start. What 19-year-old is going able to take a breath until they complete their answer. Longest answer wins the category. And of course, there's endurance. Contestants may jog around the stage in their evening gowns and tuxedos for five minutes and then pant into a microphone while they introduce themselves. even at 19, there will still be some who havetoflex The more breathless the voice, the poorer the their new adult muscles and rights and they'll try placing. Chest expansion will also be an important component. Right there on stage the contestant's That incentive could be in the shape of tissue chest size will be measured. Then he and she will and flesh markets or Mr. and Ms. Good Lungs take the biggest breath they can and while they competitions. The big winner would possess the hold it, their chests will be measured. Points wiil be awarded for the largest rate of expansion and Prizes---because, of course, lures are needed ability to hold that breath for an extended period. Instead of Miss or Mr. Congeniality, there'll scholarships and health club life-memberships, be a Miss or Mr. Sweet Smell of Success-.the con- tennis and sport club memberships and try-outs testant who smells the least like an ashtray. on football and baseball teams, a well as some Points here will be determined on the basis of hair, clothes and breath aroma. We can start on this in high schools right now lungs. No longer will mothers stress the impor- as part of the spring track and field programs, tance of virginity to 16-year-old daughters. They'll with youngsters training for the day they reach be lecturing on the wisdom of keeping one's lungs their 19th birthday and become eligible to enter pure and not even thinking about cigarettes, never the competition. Smoking will quickly lose its appeal if the kids Prize-winning lungs would be strong, red and believe they can gain prestige, wealth and a future by keeping their lungs healthy. Pleasures of the flesh--and lungs--will rule the in bathing suits. Instead, the voyeuristic audience day. : Trash report due this June (From page 1) posed in that Metro dump. Works committee chairman Gerry Emm told the council last week the recommendation was be- ing withdrawn because the com- mittee and staff feel it would be better to deal with it when a re- port on the long term options is tabled next month. Included among the options for Durham to pursue over the short term for garbage disposal would be to ask Metro to reserve cnough space at the dump for Durham's garbage, or to allow Durham to truck its garbage to the Metro dump called Keele Val- ley in Vaughan. The Region may also nego- tiate with a private landfill opera- tor in Newcastle to dump trash there, or possibility attempt to open an interim dump at the He- ber Downs Conservation area in Whitby. Options for the long term dis- posal of Regional garbage are now being examined by the con- sulting frim of MacLaren Engi- neers. Both Durham Region and Me- tro Toronto are facing a garbage crisis when the Brock West dump in Pickering is filled in about two 'years. Metro is now looking at sev- eral other sites, including some in the Region, but there is strong citizen oposition to any move by Metro to continue dumping gar- bage in Durham. The cost of opening a major landfill site is very high, and the stringent environmental studies and hearings could take at least five years to complete. Once Brock West dump is closed Durham will necd an inter- im dumping area for three to five years, for up to one million tonnes of trash each year. The privately owned dump in Newcastle currently is licenced for 47,000 tonnes per year. However, there has been an application for an expansion of that dump, and if approved, it could handle the Re- gion's garbage for the next two decades But that application is being strongly opposed by residents of Newcastle. The Region is so desperate for an interim solution to the garbage problem that it is prepared to ask all municipalities in Durham if they could provide a temporary landfill site. Further complicating an al- ready uncertain situation over gar- bage is the fact that Metro Toron- to has raised the tipping (dumping) fee at its Brock West site to $50 per tonne, from $22. Regional council is hoping that Metro will agree to soften that blow for Durham by granting a $28 per tonne rebate to the Re- gion for household garbage. However, if Metro refuses to grant that rebate, Durham's bill for getting rid of trash this year will go up by about $1.4 mil- lion. Scugog Township residents could find themselves caught in the crisis in the near future as well. The Scugog dump on Re- gional Road 8 has a limited life of Just two years or less. An applica- tion has been submitted to the Environment Ministry to extend that life slightly by allowing an- other lift to be dumped there. An answer on that application is ex- pected some time this summer. Don't waste this space. Small ads pay! Random Jottings by J. Peter Hvidsten wv, OLD FRIENDS & MEMORIES A few weeks ago a long-time family friend called me at home and asked if | would consider taking pic- ture and running a small article about her up-coming art show. Now I've know this lady since | was about seven years old, and she and her husband were very good friends of my parents while | was growing up. Although the show was to take place in Uxbridge, and she has been a resident of that town for some 40 years plus, | just couldn't refuse the request. As a rule, small community newspapers like the Port Perry Star do not infringe on other towns, like Uxbridge for news, but there are always exceptions to the rule. And this was a case where | was ready to make the exception Celia and Harold LeDrew lived down the street from our house when | was a young lad, and both of our homes backed onto the Uxbridge Creek. In the creek were plenty of beautiful speckled trout and | spent many hours walking along the banks, drop- ping my line into deep holes around tree stumps, or around small water falls where there were plenty of stones along the bottom. : One of my favourite, and most successful spots was near the wooden foot bridge that spanned the creek, and was right beside the LeDrew's property. | fished off their bank, under the hanging branches of their large willow trees on many occassion with much success. In fact, whenever | was successful, | ran home with 'my catch, cleaned them and my "mother and | fried them up in butter in an old cast iron frying pan, and ate them almost before they had stopped flopping. Now that's fresh, but that was how we liked them! And if you've never had fresh Brook Trout fried up in butter until the skin goes crispy..... you don't know what your missing! But that was a long time ago, and when Celia called and asked for a favour, those joyful memories popped back into my head and | just couldn't resist. It's not that the story had no merit. That's far from the truth. Celia, Harold and both of their chil- dren, Gail and Garry are all talented artists in their own right and they probably could have done a fam- ily art show, but this was to be Ceil's "one woman show". So elsewhere in this issue you will see a story and photo of Celia LeDrew, and if you like good art you should drop by the Uxbridge Library sometime during the next couple of weeks and see this exciting show. : CONFEDERATION DAY While visiting with the LeDrew's last week, their daughter Gail surprised me when she came into the room carrying what appeared to be an old, faded newspaper. She said to me "this paper should probably be with a newspaper person, and if you would like it it's yours". Gail then proceeded to ask me to take a look at the date on the paper. When she handed it to me, my first though was "oh great, another old newspaper", the reason be- ing we at the Star are forever receiving old newspa- pers found under floors or in the walls of old hous- es when people are doing renovations. It's not that we are not interested, but in most cases we have either original or microfilmed copies of the papers that are brought to us. But this case was different, and although it wasn't a Port Perry newspaper, it was one of major historical importance. As | looked at the date, | couldn't believe my-eyes. It was dated " Toronto, Monday July 1, 1867". Confederation Day! The day that the Dominion of Canada became a nation. Not only was this copy of 'The Globe' an impor- tant historical document, the 121 year old newspa- per was in terrific shape. Aside from the fading of the newsprint, and a couple of very small tears, the paper was in remarkable condition. I'm just not sure what | am going to do with this newspaper, but | can assure you it will be treated with much respect and care until | make the deci- sion. The following is part of the first paragraph of the Confederation Day issue of the Globe: "With the first dawn of the gladsome midsum- mer morn, we hail the birthday of a new nationality. A united British America, with its four millions of people, takes its place this day among the nations of the world. Stamped with a familiar name, which in the past has borne a record sufficiently honourable (Turn to page 9)