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4 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, September 1, 1987 Editorial Comments Comforting Thought So, you always thought the international arms race was nothing more than a gigantic waste of money, not to mention a threat to the well being of the planet. Not so. The Geneva-based International Labour Organization has been doing some research and found that some 53 million people world-wide are working directly in weapons productions or defense systems. No matter how you cut, that's a lot of pay cheques every month; puts a lot of groceries on the table; pays a lot of mortgages and no doubt buys a few luxury condos in Florida. The ILO has come to the conclusion that if there was suddenly a 33 per cent cut-back in arms produgtion, close to 20 million people would find themselves on the unemployment lines, including four million in industrialized non-Communist countries like Canada and the States. One need not be a mathematical wizard to figure out what would happen if all the countries in the world suddenly decided they no longer need weapons or defense systems. With over 50 million peo- ple out of work, the economy of the planet Could be in chaos. It is a chilled "Catch 22" situation. On the one hand, we have more than 50 million dedicated people, working away like beavers to crank out an endless assortment of weapons, any number of which are quite capable of destroying the entire planet. Yet, if the world ever ' happened to come to its senses and halt the production of weapons, it would be an economic disaster. It is kind of scarey to think that the world is in a no-win situation when it comes to the arms race and weapons production. Maintain- ing the status quo may kill us all eventually. The other option of 50 million people suddenly out of work is unthinkable. What prompted the ILO to look into this situation was a desire .to start working out some plan by which military workers could be transferred to civilian jobs in the event the unthinkable happens and world leaders agree to even a small reduction in weapons production. It is a 20th century paradox of some magnitude that the world probably can't afford to continue the arms race, and likely can't af- ford to stop it, either. A comforting thought. Of course, with all the stock-piles of weaponry sitting in arsenals and warehouses in every corner of the globe, one might be tempted to conclude that a large number of those 53 million workers could probably toil away happily til retirement dismantling everything from a 303 rifle to a Sidewinder missile; a jeep to an aircraft carrier. That kind of thing is just too simplistic for the leaders of the world to contemplate. It makes too much sense to pay people hard-earned tax dollars to take apart weapons and render them harmless. Besides, if there were no weapons, there would be no armies. If there were no armies, there would be no honour guards. If there were no honour guards, just what would the leaders of the world in- spect at the airport when they pay each other a visit? From the point of view of logistics, not to mention protocol, it is much wiser simply to maintain the status quo and keep those 53 million people humming happily at their desks and work benches tur- ning out an ICBM here, an F-18 there, a tank on Tuesday and a frigate on Friday. ; The mere thought of all this activity is enough to make us all sleep sounder at night. I r----_--_----mmm--m,my,Sppr--errrrmrmsmsmnennn Port Perry (0 STAR a 235 QUEEN STREET - PORT PERRY, ONTARIO - Phone 985-7383 P.O. Box90 LOB INO JI PETER HVIDSTEN Publisher Advertising Manager Member of the Canadian Community Newspaper Association and Ontario Community Newspaper Association Published every Tuesday by the Port Perry Star Co Ltd Port Perry Ontario J.B. McCLELLAND Editor | CATHY OLLIFFE News & Features WOVAN COM 7 * Ne (Qo 0% $2ar004 rol Subscription Rate: In Canada $20 00 per year Elsewhere $60 00 per year Single Copy 50 Authorized as second Class mail by the Post Ottice Department Ottawa and tor fash payment of postage in cash Second Class Mail Registration Number COPYRIGHT -- All layout and composition of advertisements produced by the adver tising department of the Port Perry Star Company Limued are protec ted under copyright and may not be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher A WHOLE YEAR Where DOES the time go? It seems like just yesterday that I was blither- ing away in this space about invitations, showers, stags, decorations, dresses and such. It wasn't "just yesterday," however. Chatter- box and Doug have been hitched for a year now, a whole weird and wonderful 365 days. On one hand, the year seems to have just disappeared into thin air, and we still can't believe we're actually married. On the other hand, it feels like we've been this way forever -- a nice, com- fortable sort of forever, thank goodness. And as most mark another year gone by, at a birthday, an an- niversary or at the grand-daddy of reflective times -- New Year's Day ---- I've been doing a bit of reflecting. Naturally, as I am wont to do in this space, I have a few observations to make. About our first year, and about marriage in general. I'M GOING HOME TO MOTHER." Your first fight. Remember that? Pretty traumatic, huh? I mean, prior to the first big one, you thought your marriage was sweetness and light. You were in love, with stars as big as elephants in your eyes. And suddenly, there was your beloved actual- ly YELLING. At you, no less. Eeegads, I thought my heart would fairly break. I thought, THIS IS IT. THIS IS WHY PEO- PLE GET DIVORCED AFTER A MONTH OF MATRIMONY. Heck, looking back, I can't even remember what all the fuss was about. There's been plenty of arguments since, but after the first one, I learn- ed a few things about fighting. One, you let him think he's won the debate. Then, after he's simmered down, he usually realized you were right after all, and apologizes. That's the best part about fighting. Two, you don't let him sleep on the couch. If necessary, throw out the couch. If you've done that, and he still insists on sleeping in a huff somewhere in the house, like the bathtub, don't give up. Join him in the bathtub. Or on the floor. You'll drive him crazy, but if you make enough faces, he'll giggle and the huff will turn into a hug. Another tactic is to lie in bed and say, loudly, how very comfortable the bed is. ) "THIS IS SO COMFORTABLE. AHHH. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE FRESHLY WASHED SHEETS. I'M SO COMFORTABLE MY TOES ARE SQUIGGLY, THIS IS GREAT. BOY I BET THAT FLOOR IS JUST THE PITS. WOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO COMFORTABLE IN MY EN- TIRE LIFE." This is guaranteed to drive him nuts, especial- ly when he's curled up on the floor, without pillows or blankets. After 15 minutes or so of listening to by Cathy Olliffe ple do, at times when they you say how comfortable you are, he'll probably try to smother you with your own pillow, which will lead to a pillow-fight, which will lead to gig- gling, etc. etc. But no matter what happens, do not let him sleep on the couch. Something terrible could hap- pen, such as you could die in your sleep, and then he'd feel pretty guilty the rest of his life. This I believe, and if all else fails, I tell him. He never thinks I'm serious, but I am. Can you imagine the guilt he would carry around on his back? Why, after only a few days, he would sign himself into the Juniper Hills Home for the Guilt- Ridden, and spend the rest of his sorry life weeping. L ~~ Shucks, I just couldn't do that to him, so I refuse to let him sleep on the couch. There's been the odd time, during a pleasant spat, that I have been the one who has been temp- ted to go somewhere else for the night (although I have never contemplated the couch). On these occasions, I have said indignantly, like an old Fred Flintstone re-run, "I'M GOING HOME TO MOTHER." Of course, I've never gone. And I don't know anyone except Wilma, who ever has. After all, go- ing home all teary-eyed to your mother would only result in your mother saying things like, "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? YOU MADE YOUR BED, LIE IN IT. I TOLD YOU YA SHOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED DA BUM" or worse, "I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR DOUG." That, I'm afraid, is what she would say, because she is irrevocably in love with my hus- band. He can do no wrong. He is wonderful. He is, after all, the man who married their aging spinster daughter. To my mother, Doug is perfect. In a family discussion, she invariably takes his side. This, I can not believe. My own mother. That is why I would never run home to mother. Undoubtedly, she would laugh in my face, send me back to my own house, and tell me to send Doug in my stead. Yes, I have learned many a thing or two about marriage in the first year I have dwelled in it. But the biggest observation I have made, by far, is that, incredible as it may seen, MARRIAGE IS EXACTLY AS IT IS PORTRAYED ON THE FLINTSTONES. Yes, I run around with his credit card yelling CHARGE-IT! Yes, he occasionally likes to go out with his Barney-type friends, and although he doesn't bowl, he has other interests, which remind me an awful lot about bowling. And yes, like Wilma, the wife is always right. Sorry, Fred.