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aad A A ia eh ae i aie wits oa Try 0 dl St TT (™ Riau ERE Sad Editorial Comments Pollution Shocker We have to agree with Mayor Jerry Taylor's comments that Scugog Township "would be irresponsible' if it didn't pursue this mat- ter further. He is referring to a study that would examine the private septic systems of homes and cottages around Lake Scugog. Last Monday night, the council authorized the Township's con- sulting firm Totten, Sims and Hubicki to find out from the Ministry of the Environment just how much financial assistance is available for such a study. A report to council from Totten Sims outlines what the company has found when it conducted similar studies of communities located on bodies of water. In a word, the findings are shocking. The study found that between 50 and 90 per cent of private sep- tic systems were "direct or in-direct polluters requiring immediate at- tention." Less than 12 per cent of the private systems were found to be satisfactory. In Bridgenorth, for example, a study found 36 direct polluters, 230 potential polluters, 240 sub-standard systems, and 33 satisfac- tory systems. : In Killarney, there were 87 direct polluters, 44 potential ones, eight sub-standard and 20 satisfactory systems. The findings in the communities of Harty, Hallebourg, Wyborn and Jogues were equally as disturbing. What they point to is that a lot of pollution stems from inadequate or sub-standard private septic systems. Whether similar findings will show up in a study of the Lake Scugog shoreline remains to be seen, but the study should be undertaken. Over the past few years, there has been much commotion about the condition of Lake Scugog, in particular as it relates to the growth of aquatic weeds. A Task Force has spent a lot of time examining the weed problem and the causes. Pollution from septic systems has been mentioned as a contributing factor to weed growth, especially in a shallow, warm water lake like Scugog. The Township's consulting firm notes that there is provincial money available to first of all do the study of septic systems and for making recommended improvements. If such a study finds that the situation around Lake Scugog is even half as bad as it is in the other areas cited in the report, it would be a crime not to make an effort to correct it. Sad Irony Last week, federal Sport and Fitness Minister Otto Jelinek an- nounced that six amateur athletes would be cut off for life from any support in government funds. The reason? Tests recently revealed traces of anobolic steroids in their systems. Anabolic steroids are illegal in this country, but their use has long been associated with certain forms of athletics, in particular the so- called 'muscle sports' like weight-lifting, discus, shot put and wresti- ing. Some athletes take them to quickly put on muscle bulk, but the side effects over the long term can be very hazardous to the health. Obviously, the life suspension of the six athletes handed down last week with the Commonwealth Games coming up and the Olym- (Turn to page 6) the (GC CNA 3 CEE (ee) Wing \ 3) J. PETER HVIDSTEN Member of the Publisher Canadian Community Newspaper Association and Ontario Community Newspaper Association Advertising Manager Published every Tuesday by the Port Perry Star Co Ltd . Port Perry. Ontario J.B. McCLELLAND Editor Authorized as second class mail by the Post Office Department. Ottawa. and for cash CATHY ROBB payment of postage in cash News & Features Second Class Mail Registration Number 0265 aN Com Pc oN ery vu (Qo " Subscription Rate: In Canada $15.00 per year. 22400 2330 Elsewhere $45.00 per year. Single Copy 35 ©COPYRIGHT -- All layout and composition of advertisements produced by the adver tising department of the Port Perry Star Company Lined are protected under copyright and may not be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher - 3 ---- NEE NN YN bby N a awe SHON Nnintreaasg Chatterbox by Cathy Robb THE HEAT IS ON Advice for a simmering summer afternoon: If you don't have air-conditioning in your car, drive with the windows wound all the way down and your elbow poked outside. This ensures a) that hot air is circulated through the vehicle (which is marginally better than having the hot air just sit there) and b) that if you forgot your anti-perspirant, your armpits will be dry before you reach your destination. If you don't have anti-perspirant, deodorant soap, talcum powder and Shirt-Saver Underarm Shields, for heavens' sake, buy some. Not wear- ing this stuff in mid-summer's sultry haze has the same effect as dropping a stink bomb, on purpose, in the middle of a grocery store on Saturday afternoon. People will flee from you if you do not stink- proof yourself on a hot summer day. Your spouse will divorce you. Your kids will disown you. Your boss will fire you. Believe me, I've been fired before, and that's why. Wash your car. Washing it by hand is the best method, as long as you wind up wearing more water than your car. Splash it liberally all over yourself. Get a little bit on your car. Splash more on yourself. Ahhhh, that's better. Go swimming. If you do not have a pool, make friends with a neighbour who does. Find out if this neighbour is cheating on his or her spouse. If so, blackmail the creep. Guaranteed, you will be allowed complete access to the pool for the rest of the affair. If there is a divorce, and the pool is sold to so- meone else, buy high-powered binoculars and start all over again. Besides making a pool available to you, activity gives you something to take your mind off the heat. If you get caught (blackmail IS illegal), just remember that most prisons are air-conditioned. If blackmail isn't your style, attempt Lake Scugog. But when you get stuck in the mud, strangled by weeds or attacked by a muskie, do not blame me. Do not have the heater going in your car. I did this, by accident, and was wondering why it was so hot, even with my windows down. Do not make this mistake. Do not cor.fuse the heat waves on the highway with an oasis. Some people do, causing accidents. It is the number 31 cause of fatalities in Ontario during the summer. Eat nothing but cold cuts, potato salad and cheese buns. This is the summer rule. All mothers know that cooking on a hot stove only increases the temperature of the house. This is not exactly true. In fact, I believe it is merely a ploy made up by mothers who feed their families endless meals of cold cuts for one reason and one reason alone: Given enough cold cuts, most families will agree to take Mom out for dinner. Moms depend on this. At least, mine does. Drink lots of Kool-Aid. The small pouches cost less than 30 cents and last a long time. This is much cheaper than pop and much saner than boozey drinks. Booze only makes one hotter in the summer- time. The drunker one gets, the hotter one gets. At least it seems that way. Of course, once you get beyond a certain point of inebriation and pass out, the heat doesn't matter anymore. Neither does anything else for that matter. What does matter, unfortunately, is the. hangover the next morning. And absolutely nothing is worse than a hangover on a hot day. Stick to Kool-Aid. It's safer. Do not talk about the weather all the time. Talking about the heat only makes you hotter. Why not talk about something more interesting, like the Molson Indy, the Royal Wedding or even my wedding (it really cheeses me off that the Royal Wedding is getting all that publicity and I can't even get the Port Perry Star out to mine)? "Is it hot enough out there for you?" could be replaced by, "Does Fergie have a big enough ring for you?" or even "Does Cathy have enough wed- ding presents for you?" Whatever. Just don't talk about the weather. If you don't, I won't. Enough said. EARWIGS INVADE TORONTO The other morning I was listening to CHUM- FM on the way to work when the morning man said, 'You know, this radio station has almost as many records as Toronto has earwigs." I gasped when I heard this. So! Our house isn't the only place in the world bothered by those slimy little insects. What's with these things, anyways? My grandmother is afraid to go to her cottage anymore because of earwigs and this morning I found one in the shower. Everytime I go for a swim, I have to clear the earwigs first, just in case I come up for breath and swallow an earwig instead. They seem to be everywhere. My mom said they're like caterpillars -- they're on a cycle system and every few years their population swells. Is this true, or what? Really, I don't care what kind of system they're on. I just wish they were on no system. I hate them, I hate them. (Turn to page 5) |