The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

4 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, Oct. 2, 1984 editorial comments a One Per Cent 17S MINE TRE GiRiA ampere Sen Effective Monday of this week, the federal sales tax applied at the ma" facturing level was increased in ay ; . =a a t 8 ND. Bm 4 sie BEER ys: i 2D) | 0) Bet) -- 5 llemE aaa) [0% I] a ---- Canada by one per cent. ' Naturally, this tax hike will be passed on to wholesalers, distributers, retailers, and finally, to the consumer. It is estimated that this increase will impact on the inflation rate in the country by about one-third of one per cent. Not exactly double-digit. This one per cent sales tax hike was first announc- ed by the former Liberal government in the spring of 1983, and was hotly condemned by the opposition Conservatives. Of course, things have changed somewhat since September 4 when the Conservatives swept into power YB hie tS SPR with a massive majority of seats in Parliament. And the Conservatives say they have no alternative ------=2g 0, ea? ° but to let this one per cent hike go through as planned. : -- ---- The new finance minister Michael Wilson explain- A ed last week that the Liberals had spent the cupboard E. bare and the Conservatives need the revenue from that one per cent increase to pay for programs initiated by . the Liberals. By the way, the tax hike may be small in percen- tage terms, but it will suck another $1 billion a year from the Canadian economy, and that figure is nothing to be | sneezed at. The Conservatives swept to power this September on the promise of change. The country had had enough 0 Y of the Liberals and their policies. del iitaioil J Cancelling this one per cent tax hike would have been a highly visible and symbolic gesture that the Con- servatives really will keep their promise of change for the country. Instead, the tax goes through and the Con- servatives lamely blame it on the Liberals. No doubt they are right in saying the cupboard is bare. But the time is fast approaching when the Conser- bl vatives are going to have to stop blaming the Liberals by Cathy Robb for everything and get on with some tough decision- making of their own. That John B MA OHNE a sap mystery tour Canadians gave them a mandate to govern this Can you imagine? All that crap about him not pay- Stay tuned for more details. country, not hide behind the folly of the previous admin- istration every time there is a tough nut to crack. Cf ing a four-year-old parking ticket and getting his name ' : ' added to the list of ool on the police Po Ie file. SCREW-UPS One per cent doesn't sound 190 bad, but it doesn't I'read his Chatterbox column OFF TO JAIL and near. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. look very good on the Conservatives, either. ly puked. Do you read the paper? Every story, every word? I mean, he thinks HE'S got problems. Wasting all If you do, you probably noticed the most glaring er- : that vaulable newspaper space griping about a lousy ror this paper has printed since the time we published O h A | - 3 a r t $17 parking ticket. He claimed to have paid the silly the ad with the five-legged pig. Or maybe it was the time ) thing, in print even, but then everyone knows that you the typesetter got carried away and typed Burke's Balls can't believe everything you read. instead of, well, you know. The cries of AL-BERT, AL-BERT, AL-BERT, no 1 Anyways, City Hall sent him a pleasant little note Last week we printed a lovely story about CIVP, doubt will be heard in hockey arenas across Canada this h saying "'no, you imbecile, you did not pay your parking Community Care's mental health program, in which I winter. A ticket, and if you don't pay it promptly, you'll be haul. quoted a nice lady named Nell Marshall throughout. They stem, of course, from the Canadian Tire com- ed off to jail : I took a cute little picture of Nell, all smiles with mercial for hockey equipment, which is receiving wide Well, I gotta give John B. credit for not being the straight teeth, and planned the story so Nell's picture kind of wimp who gives into government pressure. But would go with Nell's story. spread airing on prime time television. Albert is the freckle-faced youngster picked last I've had mine for a few days now and have been I didn't make the mistake in the first place. But since garnering all manners of compliments on the trendy gremlins can't apologize, this is it." I dunno if my esteem for him was any consolation when [also wrote a story last week about a small business . ; Durham's finest picked him up by the scruff and threw course that will be taught at the library. For that story, when a group of kids chose sides for shinny hockey on him in the slammer. I talked to a man named Alex McLeod, and took his the neighbourhood pond. So that's why I'm writing Chatterbox this week. picture. "You take him, he's your brother." Unfortunately, when it came time to put the Albert then gets a helping hand as he is fitted out WHO DO YOU CALL? newspaper together, gremlins stuck their grimey little with new shoulder pads at a Canadian Tire Store, and Ghostwatchers, natch. Not Ghostbusters, although fingers in the works and with their perverted sense of the next scene in the commercial shows a full grown that was a really neat movie, and Bill Murray is the best humour reversed the pictures of Nell and Alex. player receiving the accolades of the crowd presumably thing bet the movies Sis Robert Redford (even So when you saw the paper last week, you saw Nell's after scoring the winning goal in a Stanley Cup game. hough gentlemen have zit scars all over their name under, Alex's picture. Sort of like Boy Nell, if you As the crowd chants AL-BERT, AL-BERT, a glum-faced No, we're talking GhostWATCHERS here. As in I screamed when I saw it. Visions of angry people COACH says "Sure wish we had a guy like Albert on our : Scugog Island Ghost Road Ghostwatchers. danced through my head. I thought about moving out team ) | ~ Ifyou've ever been out to Ghost Road and seen the of town. It is a commercial as Canadian as maple syrup or | mysterious light that haunts the neighbourhood, then Instead, 1 decided to place an apology in this a Rocky Mountain vista, capturing in 30 seconds the you're probably interested to know that Ghostwatcher column. dream of boys in this country to rise from a frozen wind- T-shirts and Sweats are now available in Port Perry. I'm sorry Nell, for making you look like Alex. And swept pond anywhere to the heights of NHL stardom. Actually, you can pick them up at the Port Perry I'm sorry Alex, for naming you Nell. And gee, I'm real Albert is Howie Morenz, the Rocket, Gordie Howe, Plaroifice here ny boss is Selling them to raise money sorry for making everybody look like a jerk, including Bobby Orr and Wayne Gretzky all rolled neatly into one | give to charitable community groups. me--even though I have nothing to be sorry for because package; the epitome of the Canadian dream. if there is such a thing. Ghostwatcher logo. Will you ever forgive me" But, alas, is nothing sacred in this country? It seems Oh, and speaking of ghosts, a few local community- that Albert in the commercial is a professional child ac- oriented types are already planning this year's 2nd an- THE FINAL WORD tor from, of all places, the Big Apple. The commercial nual Great Scugog Spook Caper, hopefully an encore of Robb is quite right about not believing everything itself was put together in the States, probably in a last Hallowe en's cameraderie that featured a meal of you read. The truth of the matter of my un-paid park- Hollywood studio. It's like filming the story of Babe Ruth's | Black Cat Ribs, Bat Bone and Blood Soup, and Boo ing ticket is this. Last Tuesday afternoon, with $17 clut- life in Moose Jaw or Kirkland Lake. Berry Pie, as well as a magical mystery tour of Ghost Shed in iny bang I Walked into the Durham Police of- Oh, Albert. Just when the country so badly needed d. icein Port Perry and paid the damn fine. Case closed. another Sgt. Preston, you turn What a night that was. Nearly 30 couples showed As for why Robb is writing the Chatterbox co! 1mn as apple 9 or the Sod nba as Canadian up at Emiel's for the scarey affair, all dressed up in this week, it is not because I was hauled off to jail. She their Hallowe'en finest, primed for a screeching good told me she had an idea for the column that was pro- time. And let me tell you, by the time we'd all downed found and of pressing interest to all our readers. a few Nectar of Vampire cocktails, our spirits had left If you've managed to get through the column thus our bodies--in some cases, for good. far, you will notice that Robb's notion of profundity and - Not content to leave well enough alone, organizers pressing public interest differs vastly from yours, and are planning bigger and better things this Hallowe'en, mine. | and if everything goes according to the straight and nar- J.B. McClelland row, we could be in for a dance as well as a meal and Editor.