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you really think he is? you know. that seems to say, back on me: always as conséfvative as they selves to be. against the U.S. government. obvious, but accepted. CS Even when purring sleekly before the fire, or gently washing his ears while wearing an inscrutable smile, your cat may'be more than If you've ever watched a cat lapping up spilt whisky, and seen him give you.a |oyous smile 'Hey, you've been holding why didn't you tell me -about whisky before,' then you know cats are not present them- But worse than a cat under the influence of whisky is the cat bugged by the CIA - and then sent out moonlighting as an undercover agent. Victor Marchetti, former Central Intelligence Agency executive assistant with some 14 years on the agency's payroll, told an Anaheim. Conference sponsored by the Church of Scien- tology that the CIA once wired up a live puss in order to use him for eavesdropping activities. It was intended, said Marchetti, that the cat would be placed in spots where potential enemy agents might meet to discuss covert plans: So a puss was wired up to be a prowling information seeker, a sleek purring friend to all, But cats get hungry, bugged or not, and the CIA cat was no exception. And when hunger Is he all had to content with. sidewalk. out. taxi cab. REA has RE WPL GIESRA/ SEER A "How well do you know your cat? pangs knawed, it tended to wander away from its target to look elsewhere for food. * Instead of.investing in a carton of milk and a tin of the tabby's favourite feline food, the CIA operatives added in extra wires and circuits to detect when the puss was hungry, and also to 'override such pangs as were detected. - But as Marchetti told the Scientologists, hunger wasn't the only feline instinct the CIA For the transistorised ¥ _ tabby was 'a he cat who liked she cats' and was of a romantic disposition. So once again extra electronic apparatus was linked up to the cat's insides; one lot to detect . sexual excitement, the other to cool the puss off. Connected up, the wires were exhaustively checked, and the puss tried and tested. Then Connected up, the wires were exhaustively checked, and the puss tried and tested. Then pronounced ready for its first assignment, the tinkered tabby was turned loose on. the streets, backed up by a fully manned and operational CIA support, truck, loaded with expensive, sophisticated monitoring gear. The back up crew sat tense with excitement as the perambulating puss trotted away up the But their luck, and that of the fated feline, ran Before a single conversation could be recorded, the electronic puss was run over by.a [20.00 FY BUSA TIT PIE UU S2LVT Fan nit | Mr. Editor: years, benefi thought". 7 AE 5 SRL DLR: Lard dada ind ands Suadadinmiinds duibiib bn PORT PERRY STAR -- Wednesday, Feb. 2, 1977 -- § : Gov. should protect rights of everyone . In June 1974 the Ontarip - Health Disciplins Act was passed. Its intent is: interest of the public and their protection." In Ontario, more than 200 Health Food Stores are serv- "ing between 750,000 to 1,000,000 customers. These Health Food Stores are selling for more than 30 Vitamins. Federal Legislation. are inspected by Federal Food and Drug Inspectors. Even now these Health Food Stores are allowed, under Federal Legislation, to con- tinue selliag Vitamins. We, the Ontario Health Food Stores owners, found out one day that the College i of Pharmacists are trying to gain a monopoly of vitamin sales to pharmacists. They are clearly using: the Health. Disciplines Act to their own to make money, greed and profit are the reasons'and the: responsibil- ity of protecting the public is very obviously an We as an industry have been able to carry on busi- ness having sold at least 15 cio dim Sad PI ALE Nh \ million dollars worth of retail vitamin sales in Ontario. If these sales were, allowed to be taken away from us, it would spell certain doom to many of the suppliers and therefore it would create more un--: employment and cripple an important industry. ) The Health Disciplines «ct of Ontario gives vii ual monopoly. to the phariac- ists. Vitamins are adequate by Federal law and do not require additional regul- ations. } We believe that govern- ments should represent ALL people equally and protect the rights)and privileges of ALL...., 5, "the under They Gerry Lindsay, Sunshine Shop, 75 Simcoe St. N., Qshawa, Ont. For Photograph REPRINTS from the Port Perry Star Phone 985-7383 "after Bill Smiley Me and my car Boy, am I glad I'm not rich! There is nothing wrong with money in itself, though the love of it is reputed to be the root of all evil. It's what money brings in its wake that can make life a nightmare. For the past four days we've been a two-car family, and it's been a real brute. We need two cars about as much as we need two houses, and I still don't know-how I got into this fandango, but I'm in it, and I wish I weren't. There wasn't a thing wrong with our old: car, except that it was getting a bit long in the tooth. Or so everybody said. I didn't think a 1967 Dodge, with only 48,000 miles on it, that ran liké a bomb, was something to be ashamed of. Dogs are said to age about seven to one, in comparison with humans. Thus, a fiine-year-old dog would be like a 63-year- old man. That seems fair enough: missing some teeth, missing some hair, and getting a bit stiff and arthritic. But there are old . dogs and old dogs, of both species. I don't know the ratio for cars and humans, but I'd guess it would be about eight to one. So, my 10-year-old car would be about 80 in human terms. To some of you young people, 80 might seem a great age. But to my personal knowledge, for some people life begins at 80. And many an old girl in a home for the aged will back me up. They know, from personal experience, that some of the guys, at 80, 82, 84 are among the most dangerous men they've ever met in their lives, socially and sexually. Gl £ o 60 YEARS AGO Wed., February 7, 1917 Miss Clara Pearl Barrett of Manchester was married to Mr. Harry C. Thorn of Indian Head, Saskatchewan. Mr. Leslie James and family have moved from Prince Albert to Man- . chester Station. Rev. John Ford com- menced his duties as treasurer of the Corpora- tion of the Village of Port Perry in the place of J.H. Brown. . 35 YEARS AGO Thurs., January 29, 1942 Mr. Fred Christie Jr. was elected president of the Port Perry Fair Board. Mr. John Orde has joined the Canadian Ord- inance Corps, and is at - present stationed in Peterborough. Flight Officer J.W. Kerr, a former teacher of Port Perry High School now serving in - the R.C.A.F. was honoured at the High School. Pres- Remember When..? ident of the student council, Miss Doris Mac- Gregor read an address and presented Mr. Kerr with an interesting parcel done up in red, white and blue. 20 YEARS AGO Thurs., January 7, 1957 At the Annual Holstein Friesian meeting held in Toronto, Mr. Hugh Orm- iston received the Master -- Breeder shield from Dr. C.D. Graham, Deputy Minister of Agriculture. Mr. and Mrs. Colin Mc- Laurin and family, Epsom, have moved to Evanston, New York, where Mr. McLaurin has taken a position. Names of competitors from Port Perry and - district competing at the Kiwanis Music Festival in Toronto are Joanné Mosienko, Donna Samells and Graham Powell. 10 YEARS AGO Thurs., February 2, 1967 Members of Port Perry- Figure Skating Club and other interested residents gave an enthusiastic wel- come to three local skaters Sunday evening on their return from successful participation in the Canadian Figure Skating Championships. Anna Forder and Richard Stephens placed third in the Senior Figure Skating Competition and David Porter with his partner, Janet D'Altroy placed third in their class, Novice Dance Pair. Visitors to Port Perry for the dinner at the Odd- fellows Hall on Saturday evening in honour of the Grand Master of the 1.0. O.F. included Mr. and Mrs. Ron Wanamaker, Mr. Mansell Gerrow and Mr. Fred DeNure, Osh- awa, Mr. and Mrs. Stan Foster of Whitby, Mrs. S.V. Sleep and Mrs. George Murphy of Lind- say. P. Hvidsten, publisher . of the Port Perry Star was in Montreal last week along with 200 publishers from across Canada who had an interesting preview of Expo 1967. SARIS Pera 4 3 : bs ANY We've all been reading lately about the Male Menopause. At least I have. I think I came through it all right, but you never really know. Only last Sunday afternoon I was giving my wife a big blast because she didn't want me to join the poker club and go to the Legion Hall and Play shuffleboard with the boys after work on Friday. She was a bit taken aback for about one minute, Then she snapped that she didn't care what I did. I could go and stand on my head in a snowbank. play poker six nights a week, as long as I didn't take more than a dollar with me, and didn't "expect me to serve lunch to a lot of men who'd leave a dirty mess to clean up and burn holes in the rug." I.don't know how I got away over here behind the barn when I started out talking about the horrors of being a two-car family. Anyway. People made disparaging remarks about my old Dodge. A mechanic wanted to buy it. Cheap. When I suggested $1,300 as a fair price, he laughed so hard he had a mild heart attack. "Smiley, you've run thatold wreck into every tree in Blank County." This was a gross canard. That car has hit only one tree. I'll admit that it has hit the same tree-the one at the end of my driveway--three times, once by my wife, once by my daughter, once by my son-in- law, but never by me. That shows you how rumors spread. - It did have a wow in the front bumper from the time I hit a light standard. The back bumper was somewhat like a boomer- ang, because I bombed through two feet of snow in my driveway 1st winter, skidded across the street, and hit a telephone pole, backwards. But only one tree. On one side, the chrome was stripped off dnd the door caved in, when the Old Lady had an argument with the side of the garage. But the other side, until today, looked like a new car, except for the rust, which had eaten a bare 12 inches up into the fenders. Key words there are "Until today." After today I have matching doors, both without chrome, both looking as though Paul Bun- yan had taken a grievance and kick at the door, in that order. Inside, the car is like new, if you don't mind a bit of foam spilling out of the seats. You can tell it has been a one-owner car. The two inches of cigarette ashes on the floor are all of the same brand. You can understand how sentimental a chap could get about such a car. Like an 80-year-old uncle with a few scar and I could go out and . wrinkles but alot of zip still in the old bawd. : People have made love in that car. People have been taken to hospital in that car. Babies have been brought home from hospital on their fifth of sixth day in the world, in that car. } I loved that car. But it was too randy for me. It was Male Menopause No. 2, the one that,comes at 80. So I bought a new one. Not really new. Anybody who buys a new car today is either rich or ripped-off. Jumped all the way up to a '72. But I still have the old one. My wife loves it now, too, after asking me for five years-if I expected her to be seen in public in "That old wreck." So I have two cars. I juggle them in and out of a one-car garage and a one-car driveway. Today I'had the new one off to work. Although I have told her 700 times that "she can't back the car out of the garage, C she tried it. 1 don't know what her technique is. I thinks she looks over her left shoulder and twists the wheel to the right. Or vice versa. Anyway, she creamed it right up against the post of the garage, could neither forward go nor back, and I now. have matching dented doors. Sans chrome. At least it wasnt the new five-year-old one. The Argyle Syndicate Ltd. PORT PERRY STAR Company Limited Phone 915 713) S- Gn im): Serving Port Perry, Reach, Scugog and Cartwright Townships J. PETER HVIDSTEN, Publisher Advertising Manager John Gast, Editor Member of the Canadian Community Newspaper Associabon and Ontario Weekly Newspaper Association Published every Wednesday by the Port Perry Star Co. L¥, Port Perry, Ontario Authorized as second class mail by the Post Office Department, Ottawa, and for payment of postage in cash Second Class Mail Registration Number 0265 Subscription Rate: In Canada $8.00 per year Elsewhere $10.00 per year. Single copy 20¢ EACH SIZ SED RI RS IDAIIEI GILT WF RORY AR > TRE AEN « ey TESPRE en) | yi 's ~-- NRE pe 3 Cm = A Spt lin wn ' a ae Foc) Ad Sw ny EPC A fo or SAAN (PO SM Ee he a Eo BT aes ES Sa re JN Tes ox