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2 a) Ag Ty MARL SS 2 v G 32 fa SHOR: Be! d . FORA HLT 2 8 1 oy 4 Eye FF hot ph Nh) tad ea dot hs te ne dbs Sp in it iy ob i rt Nn le T @ -- p iw 3 5 a Blind, 21-months-old Gary Trent of Freelandville, Ind, runs through a melody on the piano. He started hig playing four-months ago. eee JUST I N FUN ... = Familiar Pattern $a A proud and happy young man hurrying down the street to his business = met neighbor Brown. "Congratulate me, Brown," he cried, "we have -a new baby girl in our house." 2 "I'm glad to hear it," said Brown, "And she is very beautiful." "Indeed _she . is," replied the young father, "And she is very intelligent," added Brown, } > See here, Brown," asked' the now suspicious young father, "how do you know so much about our baby" Almost Plenty said the busy business "Boy," you change a dollar man, 'can bill?" ) "Well, yes sir, in a way, sort of," replied the frank lad. "1 can change it into about cighty-seven cents, sir." Found The absent-minded professor was having a physical examination, "Stick out your tongue and say 'ah,' " commanded the doctor. "Ah," obeyed the professor. ' "It looks all right," nodded the M.D, "but why the postage stamp?" "Oh-ho," said. the professor. "So that's where [ left it!" Just Interested Brown was awakened one night by a strange moaning outside his bedroom window. After he had list- ened to it for some .time he got up and looked out to sec what was causing the weird sound. By this time Mrs. Brown was awake too. Sitting up in bed she culled to her husband: "What 'is it, John?" He replied in a hoarse whisper: "It looks like a ghost." "Oh, really?" she asked. "Any- body we knew?" Adequate Alibi : Five:-year-old William. had. been ° taught that Sunday is not a day for play. One Sunday morning his mother found him: sailing his toy boat in the bathtub. . "William," "she said, "don't you. know it is wicked to sail boats on Sunday?" "Don't get excited Mother," he replied. "This isn't a pleasure trip, This is a missionary boat going to Africa." . : "I have six or my own," was ok calm reply. IN , watch for - Nid Them Like Fish A hoarder bought some sausages and asked his landlady to cook them . for his breakfast, : "How'll I cook them?" she asked, "Just fry 'em like fish," replied the lodger, =< The next morning, when the land- lady served them, she remarked: "I hope you'll enjoy your breakfast, sir, but there's not much in these things when they're cleaned out." Not Up to Expectations "You are charged," said the ma- gistrate, "with having voted eight times. What have you to say for yourself?" ~ "Charged!" exclaimed The prison- er. "Why, I was expecting to get - paid!" . : His Promise Wilkins felt he could/never ask Valerie to become his wifé because- she was an angel, whereas he hini- sclf had many little weaknesses of which no angel would approve. Valerie, on the other hand, kept thinking it was about time he pop- ped the question, Then, one moonlight night, he spoke up. "Valerie, w-will you-you m-marry me?" he stuttered, hardly daring to hope she had heard him, "You bet!" she replied briskly, already deciding on white satin and four bridesmaids, "I know, darling, 1 know," he almost wept, "but if you'll only say 'Yes' I'll never back another horse .as long as 1 live!" The Right Angwer ~ One day, while playing in the park, little Johnny made friends with a genial old gentleman sitting on one of the benches, "Tell me," said Johnny's new friend, sceking to draw the young- ster out with a little good-natured teasing, "what are little boys good for, anyhow?" Johnny considered the. .question thoughtfully, then sagely replied, "Well, we're good to make mén of." Perfectly Plain Passenger to porter while on train for New. York): "What time do we get to New York, George?" Porter: "We is due to get. there. at 1:13 unless you hag set your, eastern time, which would make it 2:15. "Then, of co'se if you is goin' by daylight savin' time, it would be 3:15, unless we is an hour an' fifty minutes date-- which we is." © FUNNY BUSINES . 2 oe BHI i od Vir Si oh V0.0 A 7 0 97 By Hershberger LAT a DENN SN NaN aN | Jy / --immense--supplies-of--food-to-Great--- , AR DSN cebu wis SHIPSHAPE--Baudouys coi " 4% 1 By or . 3 2 1 hawser on foredeck of 'their home. Er CORKING. OFF --- With three children snugly bunked," Mrs. HAGE fi % Pek Baudouy has. goodnight talk with fourth youngster. ALL ABOARD --- AND LODGING Faced by France's critical housing shortage, Marcel! Baudouy, French war veteran, ™, bought a former British naval patrol beat and genverted it into a home for his English wife, Sonia, and their children. As a member of the Free French forces during the war, he commanded a small torpedo boat. These pictures, taken by NEA correspondent Rene Henry, show Baudouy and his family at home afloat in the Seine River during recent sightseeing trip to the French capital. : a MESS CALL COMING -- Mrs, Baudouy' sets tne dinn amused and other children await dinner bell, . . tan J er 'table while her husband keeps one son Ulster Sends Vast Supplies Of Food To UK. In peace, as in war, Ulster sends Britain. The figures for 1946, just published, show how great is this contribution to -the national larder --particularly "welcome in these days of world shortages and con- tinued rationing, For a number of years Ulster has helped materially to meet the milk shortage in Scotland during' the _ winter months. Supplies have been progressively increased until some three million gallons of Ulster milk are sent across the Irish Sea each year, the cash value being about £250,000. Cattle and Sheep Last year fat cattle and sheep to /the value of £5,357,000 were ship- ped from' Ulster to Great Britain. In the same period the shipments of eggs totalled 311,000,000, repre- senting a value of £4,200,000. The' value of Ulster"s egg production for the year exceeded £5,000,000. Before the present season ends Ulster will have: shipped from; the 1046. crop 330,000. tons of ware potatoes, value £2,000,000, besides 110,000 tons of ware potatoes, worth more than £1,000,000, sent to Great Britain and elsewhere, Poultry supplies from Ulster last year amounted to. 9,400,000 pounds weight--quite a substantial contri- bution ta: cross-Channel luncheon and, dinner tables. . Ryegrass Seed Farmers in Great Britain depend. almost entirely upon. Ulster for the. ryegrass sced which they sow. every year. In 1048, 295,000 cwt of this seed, all of which had to conform to the highest standards of purity and germination was supplied. On' the average Ulster sends. to Great Britain apples ranging in annual value from £500,000 to £1,000,000, : - Although the production of pigs in Ulster has had to be drastically curtailed owing to the, shertagh. of feeding stuffs, the farmers are ready, as soon as the opportunity presents. itself, to. restore pig. pro. - duction rapidly and to recover for the Ulster bacon industry. the high place it formerly held on the British market, . There are about 1,500 known spe- cies of bees, exhibiting various de: grees of specialization and intelli gence: ; HOLD EVERYTHING "But Buster, my headaches are © different from yours!" \ \ J VOICE OF THE PRES Where It Is Needed Thanks to the Russians; the Sal- vation Army is being barred from Germany. But what region needs salvation. more? --London Free Press Britain's Strength . Britain, it is occasiopally pointed out, may astonish the/world by her recovery. Her failure to recover would astonish us more, --Sault Daily Star U.K. Coming Along The remarkable reconversion feat of United Kingdom automobile in- dustry is underlined by the an- nouncement that production. is. al- ready .95 per cent. that of prewar. --Ottawa Citizen War and Peace Costly The modern war is as expensive to win as to lose. - --Brandon Sun Primary - Responsibility Don't do all your cussing atthe Communists who hold seats in-par- liament. or official, positions in. the ranks of: organized Labor . , . The first criticism should be of the people who would elect such candi- dates to parliament or. permit them to direct and control the policies of = labor unions ; . , The Reds wouldn't sit in our halls of parliament and in the high offices of Labor if the people did not put them there... That is where the real danger lies. - --St. Thomas Times-Journal Yes, Where? We still have that fine Canadian sentiment to live and let live--but: where? . --Brandon : Sun Modern: Day, Skeptics A direct descendant. of, Christo- pher Columbus plans to .sajl, his yacht to America. We. must warn him, though, that this time it is learned 'economists who hold the * world .is flat, } : ©" --Winnipeg: Tribune: 3 Apron Brides "You:-can 'safely: bet--on a girl's wedding if she starts her married life with mare kitchen aprons than lounging robes. ' --Guelph 'Mercury 788 -- ; . Teachers in Politics - In Alberta's 60-member Legisla- . ture, there ate no fewer than 14 teachers, of whom 12 belong to the. --Social Credit Party.. It--would--be -- correct, we think, to say that teach- ers play a larger role in Alberta's ' political life than they play in the political life: of any other province, antl that this condition has existed since 1935. --Calgary Herald Old Saying Extended The old saying about .a fool and ; his money still holds good, but mil- lions of intelligent people are also learning that they and their money are soon parted nowadays. = --Kingston Whig-Standard Apple Sense At a meeting held in St. Thomas commercial fruit-growers approved a plan to dispose of 'cull apples, so that none but bétter grades 'would Je offered to the public, -The deci- 'sion was wise and far-sighted; if the growérs adhere to 'it, Ontario apples should regain the preferred place they once held in the fruit market, ; --Kitchener Whig-Standard. Junior Escapes Because. he had been playing marbles and was slipping in late, a - Sudbury youngster discovered a fire | and his school was saved from disaster. For the life :of .us: we can't figure out any way of convert. ing the incident into.an opportunity to lectyre Junior. . * --Sault Daily Star. Desperate. Woman: A schoolteacher in New, Hamp. shire has resigned from her job in .order tg marry a millionaire,, Of course, if schoolteachers continue to be, underpaid, they "will" do 'these .| desperate things from time 'to time. --Peterborotigh' Examiner. U.K. Production Up In Many Industries iin It should: be pointed out that sweeping statements to the effect that -the -British industrial plant. is. |} obsolete should, be, taken with a large grain, of salt. Certain indus- tries. such: as mining and textiles haye not kept pace with the nech- Some Wild Animals Multiply Abnormally During War Years - There are many ~ Manchester Guardian. During the Spanish Civil War and in France '1914-18, and 1939-46, wild swine .be- came a serious nuisance, and even in Britain foxes were unusually numerous and destructive between 1940 and 1946. But the scale of the field mice "plague" in parts of Poland does seem to be exception- al. It is reported that,,as a result of the multiplication of fiéld mice, more than-1,000,000 acres are pro- ducing less than 30 per cent of what they should. There are said to be about 3,000 mice to the acre over large areas, and as many as 40 or 50 mice may sometimes -be counted running in front of the , bloodstained plowshares. The trou- "ble -is believed to arise: from lack of cultivation--complete lack dur- 'ing some war years and too shallow plowing since. It is hoped that deep plowing by Unrra tractors may im- prove the situation. ; Animals Groomed 'By Vacuum Cleaners A* United Kingdom firm has de- veloped a new use for suction clean- ers--that of grooming animals, A 'special machine which it has pres. duced for this purpose is mounted on 'a small push handle base fitted with caterpillar 'tracks for mobility and capable of being driven; either ; by a minature petrol engine or by, a 1.5 horscppwer motor. The fiter container has a removable top, thus enabling the internal dust 'bag-to be emptied. "Equipment includes an - assortment: of cleaning tools and brushes. examples of wild' animals multiplying abnormally while .man makes war, says The | Enlightenment "Of course," said the lecturer, turning to the chairman of the meeting, "you all know what: the inside of -a corpuscle looks like." "I guess most of us do," said the chairman, "but you'd better explain for those that haven't been inside one." : a You WI I3nloy Staying. At The St. Regis Hotel -- "TORONTO 1 @® [Lvery Room With Oath J' Shower and Telephone ( © Single, 82.60 up~-- : Double, $3.50 up @ Good ood, Dining and Dane- Ing: Nightly . Sherhourhe at Cariten - Tel. RTA. 4133 RELL ESF A HE EA Sd ns ROOMS DEAUTIFULLY $1.50 up FURNISIED HOTEL METROPOLE NIAGARA FALLS OPP; -- C.N.R. STATION + 'mo strong > Biinge uick relief, reaseless, fast-drying, or, Lerge, economical size, 6S¢ T <i } - i _ ROLL YOUR OWN " BETTER CIGARETTES 'anization of similar industries in: 5 other countries. However, in other 1 ADOSSGOTTAHAVEANAME |. £ te: Britain Teas the world: he Sabook p g4¢: tremendous. production. of motors, : ! 18 hs Ls machine tools and electrical, equip T JO. p I ie so kia ment, ships and vehicles of all kinds | TE BACCO pleecedog angottagettanaimferim, : Suring the war yi indication enough ? Nat 4 --Kanawha, Iowa, Reporter. that ritain is (2 Srom ack Ward EE " ahi ) ; industrially. --Winnipeg Tribune, ™ J : ' Fi : : ; . . . bE 5 5% ar - ry - i; - - POP--Hard Part Done t By J. MILLAR WATT" v H " - Nard . { [Tue TROUBLE Iv ho a 4 Se Fi | TURNING A. SLUT "| "THAT SHOULDN'T! MINE ARE INGIDE, out '|. '} 16, 0F COM EY © BBE DIFFICULT =< © ALREADY ! Fis 4 THE POCK . AS EE 3 rt : d § 3 ) d : / a 3 if of ----