The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

a an. A A A] 3 / : 4 oY oh Tc - wasn't woven in jt." . keeps ducks." NE LF "¥e feTaT $ bE REA LE Ty ' CRUE 5 SRV HINA BERRA AS 4 Not the least of the Southland's lures is 18-year-old Nancy Stilley of Winterhaven, Fla.,, who won the second annual Florida Woman's Water Ski Tournament at Cypress Gardens with firsts in both trick "and high jump riding. = eco JUST IN. FUN eu Going Out Conceited Young "Man: "Have you an opening for an intelligent man _with a upiversity education?" Business Mo: "Yes. And don't slam it as you go out!" Sole Heir "Who's the long and lanky ° dame?" asked the stranger. - ; "That tall and stately lady," said the local citizen rebukingly "is the sole 'beneficiary of a $100,000 life insurance policy." [8 1 Honest After the weekend guest had de- parted, the hostess was tidying up. "There," she exclaimed .in dis- gust. "I knew that friend of yours to be _ trusted. counted the towels and one of them is missing." "Was it a good one?" hubby anxiously:- \ "The 'best we had! It was the one with 'Grand Liles... Absolutely The employer, on leaving his 8 fice, was instructing his new. secre- | tary what to. say if anyone called while he was out. "I may be back this afternoon," he told her. "And then again, I may not." ; . The girl nodded brightly. "Yes, sir," she said. "Is that defi- nite?" A Smart 'Un A school 'inspector, "having - end- ed his investigation into the class's knowledge, smiled at them genially and said: p } "Now, it's only fair that I should give you a turn, children. Can any- one ask me a question that 1 may answer it?" Presently he heard a voice. "Please zir, | knew a man who has two eggs for breakfast every mgrning. He doesn't keep 'hens, zir,- he doesa't steal eggs, or buy eggs, zir, and nobody. gives them 'to him. Can you tell me Where he gets them. from?" The inspector thought AY fin- ally had to answer: "No, I'm afraid I cannot. Well, where does he get them from?" "Please, zir," said the boy, -- i reply, I've just . ked., Hotel' the blackboard, and, "he Double Duty MacTavish purchased a pair of boots which were guaranteed for a year. After eleven. months he returned them and complained that they -were not standing up to the guar- _ antee. "Are you sure "they fit you all right?" asked the manager, - "They fit me a' richt," was the "but my brother on night shift says they're -a bit too tight for him." Suspicion's Finger The express pulled up with such suddenn that the passengers were. hurled in a heap on the floor. Quickly the guard came along to reassure them. "Somebody' pulled the communication cord and the 'brakes acted too quickly. The "last 'coach has left the rails. There will rbe a delay of three hours." "Three hours!" cried a young man. "I'm to be married this afternoon." "Are you Then' Sparks Flew- had run out of petrol on a a country "road, and knowing it. was a long tramp to the nearest garage, the motorist stood by the roadside 'and signalled for help. A 'arge and magnificent car pulled up, and out ste; ped the very, superior driver. "Could you spare me a drop of petrol?" said the stranded one. The other eyed the tiny vehicle and asked-acidly: .- "Are. you sure 'it's petrol you want, and not a new flint?" A Catch In It Applicant: "And if I take -the job am I. to get a rise in salary every year?" Employer: "Yes, if your work is satisfactory." Applicant: "Ah, . I thought there "was a catch in it somewhere." Intelligent - The teacher _had written 92.7 on to show the effect of multiplying by ten, had rubbed out the decimal point. "Now, Alfred," she said, "where is the decimal point?" "On the duster," replied "Alfred. KE WINNIPEG, ORIGINATOR OF THE FAMOUS WATSON SLIDING "DELIVERY AND WINNER OF THE MACDONALD'S BRIER TANKARD © IN_1936 AND 1942: WATSON. WOULDN'T WIN WITH THE SLIDE DELIVERY, BUT IN WINNING THE BRIER "TWICE KEN WON 1b OUT OF IB GAMES, He OFTEN SLIDES TOTHE / ©» rimess SAD W DEUNERWS Afockt did 5 the fellow who - pulled the} --eord?'-asked-the guard, suspicious. eo ~pany-in-April,-1943, and went bver-_ .seas seven weeks Tater. He served Know Your. Hockey Stars By ED FITKIN One dynamic youngster who should be a great favorite with Toronto fans is Howie Meeker, 22- | Year- -old rookie - 'right » winger. "They don't' the ~ Howitzer" and: his bid for an N.H.L, con- tract was one Howie Meeker o©f the most en- Right Win livening aspects g Ying of the Toronto team's training sessions at St. Cath- arines, The diminutive, chunky' starboard winger, an amateur last ° winter, was the only graduate of the hockey school conducted by the Leafs. before the regular training campaign got underway. *s + His story is a heart-warming one, - Two years ago he lay in a military hospital in the north of England, his legs gashed and pock-marked with shrapnel wounds, wondering if he'd ever play hockey again, The young Canadian. had been 'sevérely "wounded when a live' grenade ex- ploded at his feet during training manoeuvres. The explosion hurled him eight feet in the air and ticket- ed him for a four- month sojourn in% the hospital. * * * i . Howie still maintained his hopes of someday becoming a pro hockey star, despite the injury. After leav- ing the hospital, he took a physical training course, found out that his legs were going to bé all right, then took two more P.T. courses and qualified as a sergeant instructor. Soon after that he went back into the European combat zone. It was his second invasion as Howie had previously spent three months on the Continent in the fall of 1944; helping to repair bombed railway rolling stock. He had enlisted in Stratford, Ontario, with"the No. 1 'Canadian Railway "Workshop Com- make 'em any more . spirited than Howie She's getting a cold in the « Teadsthes hope. Mrs. Lesly "A dariich and her husband, David, were among. 24 volunteers who agreed to risk* taking colds to aid research at Harvard Hospital, Salisbury, ngland. Above, she receives nasal drops containing cold virus. elow, after being exposed to virus, the Adamsons greet a visitor who is protected by plastic hood. Human guinea pigs' reward for sacrifice was two. weeks of "easy living" in prefabricated hut. Edison Missed Being in France, Holland, Belgium .and Germany. ™ * * * i ---- Meeker, who starred' with Strat- ford "junior teams before enlisting, returned to Canada on the last day of 1945 and, on getting his dis- charge, he signed : with Stratford seniors, and_was one of their most" consistent' scorers. In the playoffs, after leading the Stratford scoring drive, Mecker ' was halted by a . broken arm. * * * Howie signed with the Leafs last spring' 'and celebrated by getting married a' week later. His hockey ambition always has been to play for the Leafs and now that he's up with them, he' won't go down if he can. possibly help it. * * * Born at Kitchener, Nov. 4, 1924, Howie got "his hockey start in public and high school competition, |- then starred with Kitchener's Junior "B" team in 1940-41. He migrated to Stratford the next sea- son with Stratford's Junior "A" team, before enlisting., ; i FO TR WA 7 ~ His parents live in New Ham- burg, which is close to. Stratford, and Howie has four young brothers --Ken, Chuck, Tommy and Dick-- rooting for him to make good in the N.H.L. Irish 'Take Over Tr There are far more venle of Irish blood in' the United States than in Ireland, D. V. Brogan, pro- fessor of political ~sciencé at- Cam- bridge, told the Royal Dublin So-:, ciety. Between 1820 arid 1920, neatly 5,- 500,000 Irish people settled in the United States, becoming the "basic proletariat of the country. The only parallel in history was the migra: ' tion from .Portugal to Brazil, Ev2n so, said Professor Brogan, the. proportion of Irish stock was A higher in Newfoundland, Australia the British . troops. - when he worked 4 .and Scotland. A Canadian Because of Father's Rebel Spirit "Thomas Alva 'Edison, world-fa- mous inventor whose. 100th _hirth- day anniversary will be observed internationally on Feb. 11, 1047, missed being a Canadian only be- cause his father chosc to side with the forces: of William Lyon Mackenzie in the ill-fated Papineau Rebellion and was forced to flee to the United States for safety. "The inventor's ~ father Samuel Edison, Jr, fled the .village of Vienna in Bayham township, Ont. in 1838 after Mackenzie's attempt - to seize the government failed. A » year later he settled at Milan, Ohio, where Thomas Alva was born in 1847. Two of Tom's. brothers, Marion and William Pitt Edison, and a sister, Harriett Ann, were: born in Vienna. Tom spent some "of his summer holidays with rela- - tives in Vienna. Worked ir Sarnia, Stratford Pioneers migrating westward from Nova Scotia founded Vienna village in 1811, and among. them 'were Tom Edisofi's great grand- father, grandfather and father, the ° latter "4 youth t the time. The great grandfather; John Edison, had been one of the original settlers at Digby, Nova Scotia, to where he and "his family had migrated from New Jersey at: the close of the Revolutionary War. During the war, he was--a Tory and loyal to 'the Crown, and as such had been ordered hanged for giving aid to His sentence, however, was commuted to banish- ment from the United States. Tom's ancestral ties with Can- ada were to be augmented. later when, as a youth, he worked in _ 'Canada as a telegraph operator at Sarnia and at Stratford Junction. --Rirst Black Eye Some of Edison's most interest- ing childhood expériences occurred ee newshoy and. candy butchér on the Grand Trunk Railroad train ing between Detroit and Port Huron, His fam- ily moved to Port Huron when he was seven and continued to re- ~ Canadians whipped side there until Tom was grown, It was an ordinary boy .brim- ming with normal deviltry, not as the soon-to-be inventor of such miracttlous things as' the electric light, the phonograph and the mo- tion picture, that young Tom re- ceived his "first 'black eye in "Sarnia © in 1860. 'The then Prince of Wales, traveling as Lord Renfrew, was to stop off at Sarnia during a tour of Canada, and Edison was among a group of Port Huron lads who crossed the river to see the visit- ing royalty. In a dispute over the" Edward VII, the the Yankees and Tom received: a. blackened orb as: a memento of the occasion. .-- Prince, . later VOICE pes THE PRESS . Secret? ------Eat" 1g oniens is one secret to What good health, says a doctor, does he mean, secret? -- Timmins Press Must Stay Neutral Some countries which remained refused membership in the United Nations, Thus, they will have to remain neutral during the peace. «Punch . Don't Be Hasty Appear hesitant and reluctant when granting something that is asked of: you, lest the beneficiary will feel he should have asked. for more and will be disappointed, --Kitehener. Record Plenty Around "United States Senate, Washing- ton reports, is in need of 13 experts on railroads, weather forecasting, television and woodchucks. Shucks, there are that many around any village cracker barrel, ---~Windsor Star Pays To Listen i . ] When you talk you. say only something you know: when you listen, you learn what someone else knows, --Brandon Sun New Drive Set Now that somebody has said that "bacon is going to be in even shorter, supply, store-haunting -harpies can be expected to put on a drive to hog what remains, ; Woodstock Sentinel- Review. .. The Better Way 'To drive slowly' in winter, says © a'wise contemporary, is better than to be driven that way. --St. Thomas Times-Journal Truth Is Wespon Against Communism "If we are to preserve the_Ameri- can way 'of life, the. menace of Communism - must be met and its | forward march halted," says J. Ed- gar Hoover in the current i issue "of . the American Magazine ... And' that goes for Canada and the Can- adian way of life, also. You may not know it,' but Com- munistic influences are at work in this country, the same as in the United States. It is subtle, well- prepared propaganda. We've been getting some by mail, with certain . paragraphs marked in red pencil. * The best way to combat Coni- munism is to expose it, "A Communist, steeped in stealth, trickery and deceit, cannot long the F.B.I. "The healing rays of spotlight of public opinion focused -on Communism will have the same curative effect Alrat X-rays have Zz neutral during the war have been survive the truth, says the head of - "I Rémember When . , ." --Neighbors are people-who come------ over when you are sick--and tell you how sick they used to be. --Chatham News And Fast The will of a New York woman left $10,000 to her 'chauffeur. Rel- atives will probably claim he drove "her to it, _ --Chatham News Clean- Up "A new 'broom sweeps clean," 'But nevertheless it's "doubtful that Abbott can clean us-any cleaner than Ilslpy cleaned us; £ '--Ottawa Citizen Want To Bet? A small town is one where you can't find any place to do anything' you shouldn't, Kiwanis Magazine "TRUSS EXPERTS FOR 80 YEARS "Our Truss making experience exe tends over 80 years. Place yoursel® in: our hands and enjoy the com- fort and security assured: by the most - modern skilled methods. of mechanical "agsistance, WEAR A TRUSS MADR AND FITTED FOR YOU BY AUTHORS 8 COX\R 135 Ea ST.- TORONTO Puonk ELON, 7 r622 19: Lad THE (DEAL GIFT ' Regular \ hooks Seach d size: 25 lect cover "color Red, Blue, Green, Report Be Gol, Shu, fl smu | 'White. $1.00 per box. Postpaid. ORDER TODAY. BY (LAY RIS IRM _§ Individualized gr d stati Y $2.00 per box, @ Choice of colors -- blue, pink, white or tan, ee Highest Foci! hexagon Pundils hifg! Io Dama dozen f7, onl pencils), © Porro playing cards' .$1.00 per deck. Lr rR ali Assou TATE!) ENTERPRISES Rest, Ww. x 1847, LONG DEACH, CALIF. a send me_______boxes of 'm atobes. Altached 1s Cas or Money Order, "01. 00 per ver Nox Pi Prepaid.) - (Print Name Bor Inltlats Desired on Bstehen) | ch: "OTe No. O Regular or TJ Diiboard Size NAME. Addn } ET City. Bata CHECK IP --n EMAYS Ou RONDA SHIPPED B Wi Hagne, TED Tons [|] Canadian Orders Shipped Express Collect." 9 Richmond St. E. ' WAKITA SPECIALISTS IN UNLISTED SECURITIES T. L. SAVAGE & COMPANY Capt. T. L. Savagé--Sole Qwner ADelaide 6185 Write fof our weekly "MARKET LETTER" containing up-to-date 'mining Satormation of value, } Als complete details on Toronto 1) oa. Yellow, Orange, B lack, Pink § -* a > Pick yous type. indicate --- 1 oo ames o nile Pink enn PA NM TEL ~e <r Ee! QUEBE Cc Gold Mines Limited : ~ Now Diamond Drilling i in The . NORANDA - . QUEMONT - MacDONALD BREA NORTH WESTERN QUEBEC CR 2 [0 J ( eitean, ENT = | SAW REG'LAR FELLERS----Hold It, Sheriff! AT TH' END, TH' SHERIFF 13 SURROUNDED BY A HUNNERT RUSTLERS? | MAY BE BIE TRICK OFF A FEW RUSTLERS AN' HELP. . TH' SHERIFF ouT/ THA'S (