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TT isbn H a EE = --_-- JUST IN FUN Sees Economical A Scottish farmer's son had the misfortune to fall in love with two girls at once. One was tall and strapping, the other small, and slim. The puzzled lover at last asked his father's advice, "Well," said his father, "there's sae muckle machinery used in farmin' nooadays that a big, active wife is no' o' muckle use; so 1 advise ye to tak the little ane -- she'll eat less, onyway!" In the Sticks Tourist: "Any big men born around here " Native: Nope. Not very progres- sive 'round here: best we kin do is babies. Diff'rent in the city, I s'pose." Why Worry The young wife was feeling and looking gloomy. 'What's the trouble dear?" her friend, a wife of ten years stand- ing, inquired. "Oh--my husband has been out all the evening and I haven't the faintest idea where he is." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that," her friend replied, breezily. "You'd probably be twice as mis- erable if you did know!" A Demonstration The teacher had been giving a lesson on the use of the word "immaterial," and to discover what the children had learned asked them to bring some article to school demonstrating the word. Next day she said to one bright youth, "Now, Johnny, show me what you have brought." "Well," said Johnny, rising, "will you please hold this stick tightly at hoth ends." Having done this, the teacher inquired what was to be done next. "Let go one end of the stick," commanded the pupil, "Which end?" asked the teacher. "Oh, it's immaterial,Y replied Johnny; "there's glue on both ends." Bitten Once Old Gentleman: "You're an hon- est lad, but it was a $10.00 bill, not 10 ones." Small Boy: "lI know, mister, it was a $10.00 bill I picked up. But the last time I found one, the man who owned it didn't have any change." Outlived Them "Yes," said the old man, "I be ninety-six tomorrow, and | haven't an enemy in the world." "A beautiful thought," answered the new vicar, "Yes, sir," went on the old man, "I've outlived them all" On Points For many months the canny Scottish wooer had courted with- out committing himself. Then he felt the time had come to speak. Producing a well-thumbed note- book, he said: "Maggie, I've been weighing up your good points, and I've counted up to ten. When 1 get to the*dozen I'll ha'e something to say." "Well, I wish ye luck, Jock," was the girl's cool reponse. 'I've been reckoning up your bad points, and I've reached nineteen. When it gets to twenty I'm marrying Fer- guson, the plumber." Quite Unusual First Doctor: "I had an unusual case today." Second Doctor: "What was it?" First Doctor: "I attended a grass widow with hay fever." The Ground Floor Into an already crowded rush- hour train on the Underground a mother pushed her small son, and squeezed in after him He complained of being squash- ed, and was told to "shut up." But he continued to grumble, and pres- ently was heard to shout, peevish- ly: "Mind me ead! Mind me ead!" "Oh, old your row, Alfie," cried his mother, "you've got to be a sardine in "ere." "It's all right for you," replied Alfie, angrily. "You're not at the bottom of the bloomin' tin!" FUNNY BUSINESS LY, 0 RA, "He knows possession is By Hershberger rer prs 47 77 77%, 2% Zz 7% / 752%, FH 7 74 nine points of the law--we ought him from a lawyer!" . THE STRANGEST THING THE BLUE, A MEMBER OF THE CROW FAMILY, /S FOUND THROUGHOUT A LARGE PaKT OF THE WO/LD. THEY FEED ON INSECTS. SEEDS. ACORNS AND FRUIT BUT HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF ROBBING THE NESTS OF SMALLER BIRDS. IT 1S SAID THAT THEY BURY MUTS AND ACORNS JUST LIKE SQUIRRELS. THEY ARE ABOUT 11% INCHES LONG. SEMANE, THE PLANT HIS FEW LEWES TINY FLOW. ERS GROW FROM 17 i US. TAKES WRAPS OFF NEW SUPER-SUPER BOMBER aA Shc Range, 10,000 miles with- out extra fuel tanks B-29 Superfortress| ; : heres SERN. IR TRL Re erat ERT 163 feet engines develop 18,0 Six pusher-type, 28-cylinder horse- power, equal to power of 200 average passenger automobiles Wing span, 230 feet . Cabin is pres- surized for fly- ing at 40,000- foot ceiling lie Wing tanks ho we 21,000 gallons of lons of oil go Janie vale Id | At reduced range, carries "| | 36 tons of bombs or more gas and 1200 gal- | £ than three times B-29"s r same distance Maximum speed, 300 m.p.h. The United States Army Air Forces has just revealed construction and performance data on its giant B-38 heavy bomber, which can carry an atomic bomb to any inhabited region in the world and return home without refueling." Picto-diagram above shows the air monster dwarfing a B-29 Superfortress, which plane it will replace as the major striking weapon of the Strategic Air Force. Built by Consolidated Vultee, the B-36 carries a crew of 12, plus a four-man relief crew. VOICE OF THE PRESS No Laughing Matter Savant claims that in 50 years people will have nothing to laugh at What does he find so funny right now? --Hamilton Spectator. When Kissing Quebec health department warns that kissing on the mouth is a com- mon cause of colds. The thing to do, it appears, is to turn the other cheek. --Hamilton Spectator. In Fact, No Houses Whatever became of those post- war "dream houses"? Also, what- ever became of just ordinary houses? -- Edmonton Journal Why People Are Cheap There is nothing wrong with the people except there are too many of us. Any crop is cheap when there is overproduction. --Brandon Sun. When Inflation Comes We won't really have inflation in Canada until the 28-cent meal, which has cost 50 cents for so long, goes up to a dollar. . --Peterborough Examiner, Common "Stumpers" It's the common, everyday things that stump the scientists, They have never been able to learn how water freezes, how fire burns, or what causes the common cold. --Kitchener Record. Amazing A shocked traveller tells of native girls in the jungles of Borneo flout- ing the authority of the village ell- ers. Isn't it amazing how fasf civilization is spreading? --TIdmonton Journal. AJ Round And Round An Idaho couple were married on a merry-go-round, Let's hope that from now on they'll keep on going around together. --Chatham News. Sympathetic Fellow Dad sympathizes with himself when he is sick, and when mother is sick he sympathizes with him- self because he has a slck wife. --Brandon Sun. No Doubt! No doubt it is merely an inter- esting coincidence that as the fish- ing scason draws to a close strikers vote to go back to work. --Ottawa Journal. The End An Amos boy, walking along a street completely empty of traffic, was knocked down by a descend- ing helicopter. For pedestrians of the machine age, this is the last mechanized straw. --Toronto Saturday Night. And Fewer Errors When labor and management learn to play ball, there will be fewer strikes. --Edmonton Journal, An Australian who has won $130,000 in lotteries says that all he wants to win now is a wife. Well, we've seen plenty of wives who looked as though they were won at raffles. -- Peterboruogh Examiner, If a woman arives Ife she al- ways has a reason, If a nwa ar- rives late she always has an argu- ment. ---- Guelph Mercury. Buried Alive! In his tales of mystery and im- agination, Idgar Allen Poe keeps harking back to the horror of be- ing buried alive. But most of our turtles and frogs look forward to it. Some have been doing it for years. At the Royal Ontario Museum you may sce the painted turtle and his big cousin the snapper prowl ing around in the glass cases up on the third floor, But those in the swamps and ponds cease their ac- tivities when the cold weather sects in. ' The turtles feed well during the summer and are in a nice comfort- able condition when it's time for their long winter nap. Down they sink into the soft mud at the bot- tom of the pond, there to remain buried alive until the warmth of spring calls them forth again, Many species of frogs do likewise, and they may be frozen stiff with- out suffering harm, WITH Macdonald FINE CUT Largest Suspension Bridge In Europe With a centre span of 3,000 feet over the navigable waterway and two sidespans of about 1,000 ft. each the proposed new Severn Bridge in Britain will be the larg- est in Europe and will exceed the span of the Oakland Bridge, San Francisco, by 700 feet though com- ing 1200 feet short of the Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco. The total span across the Severn will exceed by nearly 900 feet the span of the great bridge across Sydney Harbour. The Severn Bridge will give ship- ping about 120 feet clearance at high water while the steel towers supporting the main cables and resting on concrete piers will rise to a height of 450 fect. The limit of milk production for each cow is sect by heredity, a Swedish scientist has declared re- cently. If a cow is given mare food than corresponds to her maximum milk production within that limit, the latter will not be increased at all, or only very slightly. | oe MATHIEU'S INHALER SOLD EVERYWHERE EE Soviet Demobilizing The newspaper Evening Moscow announced that "hundreds of sol- diers" of the Moscow garrison would return to their homes shortly after demobilization in the Capital, The men are being mustered out of service under a gneral demobil- ization decree. of CHEST hy OLD » Jick quickly ster penetrating ne C KL EY WHITE RURB ~ - - for faster PAIN RELIEF Neuritis | Neuralgia Instantine 12 od 25¢ oro ones "Gin Pills Helped my Sore Back" says Montreal man. "I bad rheumatic aches and stiff back--could hardly straighten up Cafter bending. A friend advised Gin Pills , ., now I'm ever so much better". --1.F., Montreal. For more than 40 years Gin Pills have brought relief to victims of Rheumatic Pain, Backache, Sciatica, Lumbago. Get a package today. Use proves their merit. a. Regular size, WOPIlls FRAT Economy size, 80 Pllls FOR THE KIDNEYS (In the U.S.A. ask for Glno Pills) Natlonal Drug & Chemical Company of Canada, Limited SCIENTIST MAKES REAL SNOW IN LABORATORY CLOUD; NOW HE'S GOING TO TRY IT IN THE SKY FROM PLANE Schenectady, N.Y.--The day is coming when you won't be able to blame a sudden snowstorm on the weatherman. Or on the weather. A research scientist has just dis- covered how to make snow in the laboratory that is every bit as real as the snow you'll be shovelling off your sidewalk this winter. During the next few months, he's going to take his snow-making wand up in an airplane to precipi- tate snow in the clouds the same way he did in the laboratory. The scientist, Vincent J. Schaef- er, produced his man-made snow in a cold chamber similar to a home freezing unit. First he makes a "supercooled" cloud by dropping the temperature to about minus five degrees, and then introducing moist air from his breath. The moist air condenses into a fog of "supercooled" droplets. "Ice germs": Wand, which is cooled in liquid air to minus 70 degrees, "seeds" cloud with tiny ice droplets which make this microscopic photo of first stage in transformation into snow. Then he waves his wand --a small metal rod, cooled below minus 31 degrees--through the chamber. This is called "seceding"; it results in the formation of sub- microscopic ice particles he calls "ice germs," which begin growing until the fog vanishes and be- comes a cloud of tiny snowflakes. The snowflakes Schaefer makes in the General Electric laboratories are about one-fiftieth the size of an average natural snowflake, similar to the "diamond dust" snow that falls on cold mornings in the mountains. To study them, plastic replicas are made of individual flakes by letting them fall on a thin Nlm of rapidly evaporating plastic solution. Cloud Meter Schaefer's snow-making discov- ery is the latest step in his con- tinuing studies in ice research, Maturity: Cloud into which Schaefer was peering in first photo (upper right) has now be- come a man-made snowstorm as ice germs created by his wand mature into real snow crystals. During the "war, he used his rep- lica method of preserving snow- flakes to determine effects of snow storms in producing static in avi- ation radio. He also developed a cloud meter which automatically measures water content of a cloud, His experiments from an air- plane in the clouds will be con- ducted to pursue the possibility that potential snow-clouds can be made to shed their snow when and where man wants it. Schaefer's wand, for instance, might make it possible for a city to ward ot a predicted snow storm by making the snow fall in the countryside before the storm reaches the city, thus saving a lot of snow shoveling. It might also give the people in the countryside a <hght backache, shoveling the unexpected wit of Snow, "Diamond dust": Photomicro- graphs of snow produced in Schaefer's cold chamber show it's the real thing. Two crystals above resemble those found on cold mornings in mountains, -- tf REG'LAR FELLERS--Trouble Afoot By GENE BYRNES -- ~ ES E iE TROUBLES CORRECTED 3 BARY Me Trai hag sa, | | wa, I wood ans aly righ reserves. AG a ALP 5 LEn rol > FI TEE pon os ' A NE 2.4 7