Ontario Community Newspapers

Port Perry Star (1907-), 18 Apr 1946, p. 7

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= WE VRS a Ss al 5 ; Fas IS USB Tek v A ' 23 5 rik 5%) 5 3 REN LAL fs ls Vihd Pipa fale : . 55 ' LY 7 "ix of f "piv - . i PELE ETE 38 dain 4 FST, £5 2 3 x - - Fo Hard Luck "Quick," he gaspel. "Green has ' : fallen in the river. Can 1 have NE ~ r ' - nr ' i set ; 1 N NO Co J U ST IN F UJ N After trying in vain to get a his house?" VOI( ks OF [| HF PRE SS Pandit Nehru, potential Indian y E house, Brown set out one morning i ow ) AR 4 " YSN PrimeMi nister. stands on his head with a find-a-hou .e-or-die look on "Sorry, sir, said the house ) on : Meets i " iis hes hd his face. He wandered about all agent. "I already let it to the maa every mi ¥ ore ed . In the Cart "What's this I hear, flight-lieu- tentdnt?, I'm told you were so drunk #Hast night you pushed a wheelbarrow .through .the .native quarter. Is that the way to keep up our prestige with these-people?" "You aught to know, sir. You were in the barrow." To His Advantage Two strangers in a first class compartment were in a friendly conversation. The wiidows had been closed by previous occupants, and the desultory talk had drifted to the subject of ventilation. "I make it," said one, "an invari- able practice to advise people to sleep with their bedroom windows open all the year round." "Ho, hol" laughed the other. is easy to see your profession." "Indeed, and what do you think it is?" "It is fairly obvious," came the reply in lofty tones, 'that you're a doctor." Not at =I," retorted the first, very confidentially, "To tell you the truth, I'm--a burglar!" "It / ~ Time Wasted "This theory of governing child- ren by appealing to their reas. n isn't all it's made out tg be," said a worried school-teacher recently. "A youngster needs a little spanking once in a while. "One of my little boys had skip- ped his classes, deceived his moth- er, been found cut, .and caused much unhappiness all round. I took him aside, and we had a heart-to-l.eart talk. Johnny sat still, looking at me intently. "I thought I was making great headway. I never saw a child who scemed so absorbed, even fascin- ated, by my line or argument. But you can never tell. Just as I had reached 'the climax in my appeal to his better self a light of discov- ery broke over Johnny's face. "Please, teacher," he said cager- ly, "it's your lower jaw that moves, isn't it?" Thrifly Thomas was rather thrifty. Oa a visit tc the United States he de- cided to send a telegram to his host. ) On inquiring at the post office he was tol! the charge, but that the sender's name would be free, "That's splendid," he replied, "I'm a Red Indian and my name is "Cannacomthemorn Tam." Just Like That Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in op- posite directions, -yet always pun- ishing anyone who comes between them. His Reason "Why didn't you marry?" in- quired the young man of the old bachelor. "Well, you see," replied the bach- elor, "when 1 was quite young I resolved that I wouldn't marry un- til I found the ideal woman. After many years I found her." "And then?" "She was looking for the ideal man," replied the bachelor, sadly. Learned His Lesson The memory expert had been giving his turn in the village hall, The audience had not heen enthusi- astic, and the questions asked at the end of the show really infuri- ated the man. When one dear old lady came up and asked him to wwhat he attri- buted his remarkable memory, he thought it was time to call'it a day. "Well, madam," he explained, without a smile, "when I was in the Air Force, I once had to make a parachuté¢ jump from a height never before attempted. Just as I jumped from the 'plane, the pilot leancd over the side and yelled: "Hi, you've forgotten your parachute! Believe it or not, madam, that taught me a lesson, and I've never forgotten anything since." . SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY By C. Kessler UIT BILL | CANT Lk WITH THAT Noise / IT MUST BE FISH EB] RC H 4 i H : -- --_-- ee d 5 po } EJ | ' ? y ay 150, er / SR XI <i . 3 TO PLAY A TRUMPET OM, DEATH WHERE 15 TY STING ? > ot W MIS CLD, HONE TOWN OF CHICAGO. mevze-------- * + A -- 'SIDE GLANCES By Galbraith "Remember, no more drawing pictures on the walls or cutting ork--Daddy has bought this house so wa're not renting any more!" : day without being successful, till at last his steps led him to the river. "Ah!" he said, in utter despair, "how tempting it looks!" , Suddenly he heard a splash, and looking round, he saw his friend Green struggling in the water. Without attempting to save him, he rusled off to the local house agent. who pushed him in." Changed "By Jove," said a stranger at a «dance, "what a long and lanky girl that is over there!" "Hush," his host whispered. "She used to be long and lanky -- but. nowadays she's tall and stately, She's just inherited a million." | NOVELIST | 8 HORIZONTAL Answer to Previous Puzzle body, 1 Pictured " 17 Sandpapering writer, wee machine. ny 18 Sleeping 12 Upholstery L visions. gimp, 21 Rumanian 13 Seine. JW coin. 14 Woody plants. 22 Selections 16 Hastened. (abbr.). 17 Sedate. SMUTS 25 Ship's spars, 19 Seasoning. 27 Supplicate. 20 Insurance 30 Cravat. © (abbnr.). 32 Swedish 21 Trades, weight. 23 Lady Literate 35 South Dakota in Arts (abbr.). (abbr). property, Barstow. 86 Whirlwind. 24 Giant king of 43 Palm lily. VERTICAL 38 Opponents. Bashan. 44 Street (abbr). 1Conveys. 39 Consumed. 25 Numerous. 45 Alleged force. 2 War god. 41 Spinning toy. 26 Ooze. 46 Compass point 3 Disencumber, 42 Undergo. 28 Either. 48 Hail! 4 Bone. 43 Narrow fillet 29 Suffer. 50 Daybreak 5 Vestibule. of cotton. 31 Permit. (comb. form). 6 Chair. 47 Slave. 33 Exists. b2 Paid notices. 7 Pig pens. 49 Ireland. 84 Electrical 63 Peel. 8 Right (abbr.). 51 Upon. : term. 55 Daze. 9 Creditors 62 Small particle. 86 Order of Merit 56 Nullify. (abbr.) 54 Dutch city. (abbr). 58 Shop. 10 Ardor. 55 Station 87 Symbol for 59 Cringe. 11 Color. (abbr.). "erbium. 60 Her ---- is 12 "Buckeye 67 Babylonian 88 Make slower. now Mrs, State." deity. " 40 Landed Montagu 15 Heavenly 68 Tin (symbol).' LE CI CI 5 |e | 8 [9 [io |n 12 513 SE] 1a is [0 Ji : D HE T7561 [2 20 Aq 22, SN 23 24 2s 27 Padi an Ye 3 RX 4 PEAY 2 30 32 33 ( A 34 2) 437 1 38 135 4l 42 5 45 Sage [v7 eS, SLE °c |5! Ta 52 VR : RES Seek 2 BS x 2 57 KM 58 "nia b / 60 ~ 14 A % Truth Comes Out Strupge as it may scem, truth occasionally pops out at Nazis tes- tify at Nuernberg. For instance, the admission that the annihila- tion of Coventry was deliberately planned, after all these years of claims that the bombing resulted from the planes getting lost trying to find another target, -- Windsor Star, Faith in Humanity In all my travels over the world I have never lost hope for the hu- man race because in the lowest slums of the big cities and the hovels of the blighted lands there's always someone bravely strug- gling to make a flower grow. --Detroit Free Press. Something to Laugh At Commenting on international affairs, a London newspaper sug- gests that the greatest need of the world today is a revival of laugh- ter. This opinion seems to be shared by the designers of the new spring bonnets. --Toronto Saturday Night. Situation Worsens Fewer men are now applying for farm work than at any time during the war. In Canada's most essen- tial industry the labor situation has worsened. -- Farmers' Advocate. Among the hottest news is the story from New York that the pepper shortage in the United States may last for years. --Stratiord Beacon-Herald. Classy Robbers Some bandits show more class than others. Down in Missouri, a bank was robbed of $7,000, the robber going away in the bank president's car. --St. Thomas Times-Journal. Reckless Accident statistics reveal that home is the most dangerous of all places. But with a reckless un- concern for their own safety, peo- ple still persist in hunting houses. --Peterborgugh Examiner. S-2king Secret Rome newspapers charges Sov- ict Russia with running an exten- sive spy service in Italy with the 'cooperation of Yugoslavia, Evi- dently they seck the secret of why Musso didn't topple from that bal- cony Soon«r. * -- Windsor Star. His Annual Fit With spring styles in the offing father is duc to have his annual fit. & --Chatham News. Aim to Please "Do you serve prunes?" the guest asked the waiter. "Ma'am," he said, "we serve anybody. What'll you have?" --Ottawa Citizen, Reminiscent A Japanese volcano, now in eruption, can be heard twenty miles away, doubtless reminding the natives of Tojo in his better days. --ldmonton Journal. Why? We turned out ships in time of war easily but it is impossible 10 build houses the same way amid the distractions of peace. --Brandon Sun, Bound to Get You There's no use. If you make out your income tax return wrong, you are in the hands of the law; if you make it out right, you are in the hands of the receiver. -- Farmers' Advocate. The Stalin Way A man lke Stalin, we under- stand, is so uscd to getting his own way that he writes his diary three weeks in advance. --Windsor Star. Mass Production Three hundred typists are need- ed in Britain to speed divorces. Anglophobes will say the Britisa were always slow on mass produc tion. , -- Hamilton Spectator. Or More! Harnessing the atomic bomb will be like putting the saddle on a hundred million bucking bron- chos. ' --St. Thomas Times-Journah We fee! like doing the same when trying to understand the Indian problem. -- Hamilton Spectator JUIAR M ve IV; Instantine brings FAST 44919 ¥ 127A 280 A 4 ABLETS ONLY GREEN CROSS S MICRONIZED® 70 DDT POWDER CONCENTRATE For BARN and LIVESTOCK SPRAY Adual-purpose DDT Pow- der. Mixed with water one pound makes one gallon of Barn Spray OR five gallons of Livestock Spray in their most effec- tive form. Convenient, economical and no fire hazard. V2 Ib., 2 Ib. cans. an SSS *Reg'd trademark ASK YOUR DEALER FOR THE SPORTING THING Nl CPZ NPR "His mother was frightened by a bulldozer!" MUTT AND JEFF-- Even at that, it's a good thing the ration 'book held out. NO DELIVERY isi MORE! EVE AeA AND CARRY! U, WANT HOLD IT W-27-44 [TLL MAKE ) REG"LAR FELLERS--A Worth-while Hardship IT SAYS HERE. THAT '(CE CREAM OQ YOu B'LEEVE. 15 A HEALTH FOOD, WHY YES, {| GUESS 50, ITS MADE OF MILK. AND SUGAR. AND EGGS' WELL, WHY DONTCHA PAY ME T'EAT MORE. OF IT LIKE. YOU DO MY SPINACH, mom? THIS SAP DIGAPPEARS HERE AND TURNS UP 4 AGAIN AT THE fel VILLAGE INN, SIR! 1o-¢cd ty The Bell Syndichte, mn ET TAP Sd x er

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