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he ' wr "Jokes or puns. This d 8 --from the speaker's story, breaks - bred. 2 « : buen ataionery uld b pueats best he can afford, A" letter 4g FREE / | Have You Heard? "Put up your hands!" com- manded the Jarger of two bandits who had stopped the motorcoach. "We're goin' to rob the gents and kiss all the ladies." "No," remonstrated the. smaller one, gallantly,' "Well. rob the feds all right, but. we'll leave the Indies alone." * ' "Young: man," snapped 'a wo- man pegsenger of uncertain age, "ming your own business! Your friend's managing this holdup!' «. » "Miss Green, do let me help you to more pudding." . "Well, thanks," said the young woman, "lI will take some more, but only a mouth.. ful, please." ' "Bella," said the hostess to the parlormaid, "fill Miss Green's plate." A lawyer got into an argument with a physician over the relative merits of their professions, "I don't say that all lawyers «are crooks", said the doctor, "but you'll have to admit that your profession doesn't make. angels of men." "No", retorted the attorney, _*"you 'doctors certainly have the best of us there." Teacher: "And where on the map do we find. Eng. land?" ; Jimmy: "Please, ma'am, Mr. MacTavish says there isna' -such a country, Eng- land is just the southern pairt of Scotland!" After writing a prescription the physician told him: that the drug- gist would probably charge him - 60 cents for filling it. Then the patient asked the physician to lend him the money. The physi- cian carefully scratched out a part of the prescription and hand- ed it back, with 10 cents, remark- ing: 'You can have that filled for a dime. What I scratched out was for your nerves." : approached Stonybroke one of the members of the club, % \ T i "I say, old chap," he be- i gan. "You can't lend me a , fiver till Friday, can you?" 17 "No," came the prompt re- "ply. "But how did 'you know?" A teacher was impressing upon ker class the fact that you can- aot subtract one thing from ther unless they are of the same fenomination. ~ "For instance," the said, "we cannot take two ap- Mes from three oranges?" Then a bright boy said: "But, teacher, can't we take four apples trom two trees?" "Dad, it says here that a certain man was 'a financial genius . What does that mean?" 'That he could earn money faster than his family could -- spend At." TE : / MODERN ETIQUETTE BY ROBERTA LEE 1. What is the height of rude- ness in' conversation? 2. If individual salt and pep- per shakers are not used how many should be placed on the table? 8. Is it proper to apply rouge or lipstick in public? 4. If one does not understand a name /when being introduced, what should one do? 2 6. Should one use expensive stationery? 6. What should be done if one happens to choose the wrong fork or places the butter on the wrong plate? Answers - -1, The type of interruption in which the so-called "joker" seize. every opportunity tu pick out words and phrases of the speaker, and turn them into cts his continuity of thoughi, and Is exceedingly annoying and |ll- 2. Salt and pepper shak- ars should be placed between very two covers, 3, The appli- tation of voth rouge and lipstick n public. js out of order. There 8 never such extreme nced for dither of these cosmetics that they Bust be used then and there, It B not done by refined persons. I If a name is not understood, k is quite in order to say: "I'm worry; I did not quite catch the tame." It is nlways well to pay particular heed to the name 80° 8 to be able to repeat it .when smknowledging - the inet adatom «nnot present a good appearance it is written on cheap paper, the kind that absorbs the ink and 3 eauses little feathered edges Appear as "6. ho SLE "As C Sydney G. year, ing Director, tus of war. usual, usual, ? hand. hand; other." y he sald, war, War, uch . Great War, i The Royal Bank of ~ 73rd Annual Meeting of Canada rman of the British War Subply : Gerniany outstripped by Britain and im . { > J Morris W. Wilson, President and Managing Director, hails . new.partnershi of Canada and the United States. Council sees orth America Dobson, General Manager, reports assets ovef $1,000,000,000, Sees record business espansion this i. Prediction that Germany's war production would be outstripped in 1942 by the combined output .of Canada, the United States and Great Britain, was wade at the 73rd Annual Meetipg of The Royal Bank of Canada by Morris W. Wilson, President and Manag- In his annual address Mr, Wil- . mon gave factual evidence of the tremendous productive capacity of North American factories spoke In glowing terms of the fine record made by Canadian industry since the outbreak of war. of "Two years ago,' sald Mr, Wil- son, "we were Incapable of out- fitting an Infantry division; to- day our Industries can equip a new dlvislon every six weeks. Canadian equipment is being used in every area of war." Mr, Wilson pald particular tri- bute to the Government for the -way in which it had approached industry and persuaded manufac- turers to go Into production of the strange and complicated appara- CONTROLS CURB INFLATION Referring to the steps already taken to control inflation Mr. Wil- son sald, "You cannot divert half a million men into the armed services to engage In the most ex- travagant kind of destruction and consumption of goods, and expect business at home to proceed as or prices to remain Ws 'With the tragic memory of the inflation of the first World War in mind, thinking people believe that almost any measure would be Justified to prevent a repetition. "It anyone 18 inclined to be cri- tical, let him think of how dan- gerously our present position par- allels that of the first G¥eat War. The increase in the wholesale price index in the first 25 months of that war was 20 points; in the | ¥irst- 26 -months-of this-war, the index has climbed 21 points. the face of these facts, it would be difficult to argue that an effort should not be made to control the situation before it gets out of "It would be absurd to expect that in the midst of this colossal diversion of material and man- power we should expect to live as we have lived in peace-time, "We have reached the point where we must cut down unne- cessary consumption, in order to make available for the war effort all the resources possible. "We must keep constantly be- fore us 'the realization that our war effort' consists, in a material sense, in things and services: that is, food, raw materials and manu- . factured products on the one and man-power on the OANADA PLAYS HER PART As a comrade in arms of Great Britain, Canada, sald Mr. Wilson, had been able to make a material 'contribution to the common cause. '""We pay the whole cost of rals- ing, arming and maintaining the Canadian armed forces serving in / Canada, Great Britain, Gibraltar, the Far East, the West Indies and Newfoundland. We supply Great Britain with food, textiles, lumber and finished apparatus of war, and we do not demand "cash on the barrel head." Not one dollar of the $2560 millions of gold sent to Canada by Great Britain has been used to pay for goods of Canadian origin--Iit has all been expended in the United States, with much more of our own gold, to cover a part of the cost of raw materials and machinery brought to Canada to produce war goods for British account, . Little opportunity existed, sald Mr. Wilson, for the making of big profits out of the war, has been neither opportunity nor disposition for our producers to make big profits out of this war," Mr. Wilson regarded with great satisfaction the close co-operation which' has developed between Canada and the United States in 'recent months and particularly since the Japanese declaration of "Even Germany, with all its vaunted efficiency, and with forced labor, cannot match the produe- tion possibilities of North Amer- fea added to those developed with such extraordinary efficlency by Great Britain under the impact of "Canada's war expenditure in . this fiseal year alone is estimat- ed at two billion, 820 million dol- lars, which 1s Dore than tyite as 0 expen 0 In all oft o Yast. wk, The 'United 'States has alréady doubled its en~ tire expenditure durin rd * ¥United States manufacturers seht to Great Britain in the first seven months of 1941 nearly twice as many combat planes as were lost defending the British Isles during the whole of 1940, In Canada, starting from scratch, we are producing 40 or more planes a week, of which 16 to 25 are Hur ricane fighters, In conclusion Mr, Wilson pald a warm tribute to the herole man- ner in.which the people of Great Britain had sustained, for over two years, the terrible impact of war and at the same time pers formed miracles In the production of urgently needed Implements of and war, So GENERAI MANAGER'S v ADDRESS dg In presenting the financlal statement, Mr, 8S. G, Dobson, Gen- eral Manager, noted that the bank had. enjoyed a satisfactory year despite greatly changed conditions due to the war, Notwithstanding Government regulations, 'which at one time would have been con- sldered intolerable, but which we recognize. .as necessary in the kind of war which has been forced upon us, your bank has continued to expand. While it naturally be- comes more and more difficult to make reasonable profits, we have, because. of enlarged: business and economles effected, been alle to show earnings comparable with a year ago." i * Assets of the bank now standing at over $1,000,000,000 were at the highest point In history, sald Mr, Dobson. Commercial loans had continued to expand and deposits by the public were at a record level---$162,259,936 higher than at the peak ofl the boom era. "More new deposit accounts have been opened this past year than in any similar period in the history of the bank. We are doing our best to foster this growth not bank's clientele, but miainly be- cause 'saving 18 an essential devel- opment in our war economy." 1032 ENLISTMENTS - Because of war condltlons a In placed upon the bank's staff, said Mr. Dobson, and too much credit. could not be given for the com- mendable way in which both men and women had performed thelr duties. "Since the outbreak of war," he sald 1,052 officers, Including 48 from our forelgn branches, have" been granted leave of absence to serve in tho armed forces. In Can- ada and Newfoundland 40 per cent. of our male employees under 30 years of age enlisted. We have assured all these young men, of whom we are justly proud, and to whose return we are looking for- ward, that positions will be avall- able to them, : "I regret exceedingly to report that eight of our young men haye given thelr lives in the country's rervice. Wo extend to their rela- tives our sincere sympathy," PRICE CONTROL [3 'Referring to what he termed the new experience for business of price and wage controls, Mr. Dob- son gald, "Some people view with concern the institution of these controls and It'seems to me an ap- propriate time to point out that such licensing _and price fixing are commonplace with banks, "Our charters are granted to us by virtue of the Bank Act which comes up for revision at ten-year intervals, at which time the char- tered banks are subject to. close mittee of Parliament. All our powers aro strictly regulated by law. , The maximum rate of in- terest we are permitted ® to charge Is fixed. There is even a ceiling on the commission we may charge for collecting a bill dis- counted in one city and payable in another, We are not allowed to charge more than a fixed flat fee for small casual transactions, We are not permitted to own real estate except for our own use; we must not make loans against real estate security, We are subject to inspection by the Inspector Gen- eral of Banks. We must make detalled and extensive statements to the Finance Department. Since the outbreak of the war we are re- - quired to be licensed by the For- elgn Exchange Control Board be- fore we can buy or sell foreign exchange and the regulations lay down the commission we may charge on such transactions. "I do not point to these things in any critical way, but merely to show that what is revolutionary control of other businesses in the interests of wartime stability, is part of the every-day experience of banks, Price ceilings are not a novelty with us,' + In conclusion Mr, Dobson re- marked that indications were that 1942 'would gee all records broken in business expansion. - "There g the first one - writes, ~ 6. Take ' f it, and pi L.~ Do not. which. will follow," _ Peace--"Wo are determined not only to win the war, but alo 0 _ maintain the security of the peace States, the Department of Com- merce says, . RT ETO A pi 3% teh 1 sti Sa TE Sot § KIAXY only because it builds up the greatly increased burden had been - examination by the Banking Com= : There are about 80,000 miles of _ favigable rivers in the United - a --.. ------ --_-- HOW CAN I? BY ANNE ASHLEY ""Q. How can I prevent stretch- ing buttonholes in a sweater? A, Before ironing Knitted garments, it is wise first to baste the buttonholes in order to pre- vent their stretching, The threads can easily be removed when the garment has dried - -Q., How can I retain the colors in cretonne when laundering? sary to launder the cretonne slip covers, or any other cretonne ar- ticles, try washin: water and see if they do not re- tain their colors. Q. How can I attach a meat grinder to a white enameled kit- chen table that' is slippery? A. Place a small wad of paper between the ° grinder and the table, tightening the screws on the paper instead of the table. It will be secure and safe. Q. How can I make a good cake without eggs? "A, Delicious cake without eggs can be made by dissolving a teaspoonful of baking soda in a taolespoonful of best vinegar; use this the same as eggs, This quantity takes the place of one to two eggs; if four eggs are called for, two eggs and the above quantity of-soda and vine- . gar can be used, if desired. Ex- ¢elent results, however, are ob- tained with soda and vinegar alone, increasing the quantity a trifle only in accordance with the number of eggs called for. Materlal superiority--"The sup- erlority of the united nations In whelming." A. -The next time it is neces them in bran' "munitions and ships must be over- Loyal Alumnus 4th 1941 Champion Steer For the gocond successive year the Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. purchased the Grand Champion of the International Live Stoek Ex- position, Loyal Alumnus 4th was 80 judged on Dec, 2nd and two -.days later purchased by Firestone. Loyal Alumnus 4th, a cress be- tween a full blooded Angus on his sire's side and a fuli blooded Shorthorn on his dam's side, was calved on June 4th, 1940. He nursed his mother until 10 months old, after which he was taken off pasture and put in a dry lot where he was fed cracked corn, crimped oats, flaked barldy, bran and pea-sized linseed oil meal. Alfalfa or clover hay and a little silage was fed for roughage. This _ ration was fed twice daily up till three months before the ex- position when it was stepped. up to three. times a day, The steer was not over fed, but was allowed all the food he would clean up. W.-L. Carlyle, manager. of the Duke of Windsor's ranch in Al- berta, Canada, picked Loyal Alumnus 4th as beat of the class from among steers from 37 states and several Canadian provinces. The steer was fed by Gilman Stewart, 28 year old agricultural graduate of Purdue University. Coming from a family of cham- pions the prize, steei's father was a full brother to the 1936 Inter- national lightweight champion steer. His mother's father was International junior champion, bull in 1935 'and his maternal great grandfather, Raveni Mas- terpiece, was International grand champion bull in 1934, smooth you can bet he is. fathers did last time, And when an old soldier tells a young "PRETTY SMOOTH, IF YOU ASK ME" soldier that he looks At the left the representative young soldier of Canada's Army is wearing the new 'walkingout uniform" which will be issued to all Canadian soldiers early in March. Xeteran wears "battle-dress," the uniform which will continue to be worn by all ranks for training and Jienjing. . The Walking out dress consists of a jacket and trousers of khaki serge, Beech brown tie, black fine socks and low black shoes. jacket is cut along the same lines as those worn by officers, has four pockets and a brass-buckled cloth' belt. parade" uniform soldiers will carr The The When wearing the "off- y a "swagger stick" just like their . Ways, or. nebulae, each a vast --....One, they are-on the average Aches and pains, it costs you noth- n What Science .- Is Doing UNIVERSE NOT EXPLODING The world's largest telescope shows that the universe probably is: not exploding but is a quiet, peaceful place and possibly just about as infinite in size, The observations were made with the 100-inch telescope at Mt. Wilson, Calif., and reported to_ the American Association for the Advancement of Science re- cently by Dr. Edwin P. Hubble, the astronomer who for years has explored the remote parts of the universe. This telescope sees an area about 1,000 light years across, a light_year being the distance light travels in one year. The earth is at the center of this space, with the Milky Way immediately around the earth. In this space there appear to be about 100 million other Milky family 'of suns, gasses and pre- - sumably' comets and other fam- iliar celestial objects. 'These hundred million. nebulae show two things: uniformly distributed, about two million light-years apart, wich neac-vacuum between them. Two, the light of the more dis- tant ones is dimmed in a peculiar way, called the red shift. This dimming could mean that they are receding, rushing away from earth, and if that is true, the fai- thest away ones now visible are traveling 26,000 miles a second. This speed of recession led astronomers a few years ago to RHEUMATIC Aches and Pains : If just one bottle of Ru-Ma does not show .you the quick, easy way to get real relief from rheumatic B. Don't suffer longer; try Ru-Ma' today and If you are nol pleased with the results, your money will be refunded: by any druggist. This Is a generous offer to all rheumatic sufferers. : : say the universe probably is exe ploding, But Dr. Hubble reported that six years' scrutiny through the 100-inch eye does not bear out the explosion theory, If what the grea: telescope ap- s FAL AL WA, fhe parently sees is right, Dr. Hubble 3 said, the nebulae may be ends NGS lessly distributed, on and on, vir- TAY tually to infinity. 5) FONE a YN Sarma i ON 0 'Invasion' of Turkey An "invasion""- of Turkey by German troops "absent without leave" from convalescence cen- ters in Bulgaria was reported by the BBC recently. The an- nouncement said the Nazi sol- diers "preferred desertion to be- a tr 2 ing sent back to the Russian 3 front" and were interned in Tur- GLEN key. ATARI tt MRS i . 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New Russian Plane To Seal Nazi's Fate A BBC broadcast, citing 'the ~ Moscow radio as its authority, reported that the Russian army bas under construction an. anti. tank plane "which Will spell de- struction to the German mech- anized army and seal its fate." The Russians, said the BBC, are also working on a new.jlype of pursuit plane "said to be able of a speed of more than 500 miles an hour." ends. Write for our Free Book- let on pedigreed renewed and ane alyzed used cars, HAIRDRESSING SCHOOL LEARN HALRDRESSING THE RUB- ertson method. Information on re- -quest segardin classes, Robert: ron's Hairdressing Academy, 137 Avenue Road, Toronto, - == LEGAL J. N. LINDSAY, LAW UFFIUB, CAV. tol Theatre Bullding, St. Thomas, Ontario. Special Department for farmers collections. : -- UFFER 'f0 INVENTORS AN OFFER TO EVERY INVENTOR List of inventions and full lofore ation sent free. 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