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19| W aterloo C hronicle | T hursday,N ovem ber 1,2018 w aterloochronicle.ca From the beginning, one thing is clear: Everyone on hand for MADD Waterloo Region's Candlelight Vigil of Hope and Remembrance on Sunday has one thing in common: they either lost a loved one in an impaired driving accident or know someone who has. "It doesn't seem real at first," confides Tracy Ver- hoeve, whose father and uncle were killed by a drunk driver on May 21, 2011 (because you never forget the date). "You don't really think it's gonna happen to you." That's the story I hear over and over from the 90 or so people attending the poi- gnant ceremony at Water- loo North Mennonite Church to mark 30 years of Mothers Against Drunk Driving in Waterloo Re- gion, an organization that started locally as PRIDE (People to Reduce Impaired Driving Everywhere). They never thought it could happen to them. And then, just like that, it did. "It takes time to wrap your head around that fact," notes Tracy's brother, Scott Verhoeve. "Suddenly, the people in your life aren't there. It's just so sudden." In the case of the Ver- hoeve siblings, the family tragedy brought them clos- er. "We connected over it," Tracy confides. "We took care of each other. Over the years, you just realize how big an impact it's having on the rest of your family. My mom lost a brother and her husband." Scott nods: "It really puts things in perspective. And there's a ripple effect." Because they wanted to make a difference, like so many at this ceremony, they joined MADD. There they found emotional sup- port and a community with a single-minded goal: to stamp out impaired driv- ing. "I think people need to take responsibility," Scott says, when asked what peo- ple need to know. "You have to do some- thing. That young man who killed our father had other people around him. Plan ahead." The good news, MADD members agree, is that to some extent, the message has been getting through - especially to a younger gen- eration for whom the catch- phrase "don't drink and drive" comes as naturally as garbage recycling and flossing their teeth. "I think things have got- ten better," agrees board member Kim Henry, whose high school friend was killed by a drunk driver. "People are more aware it's just a stupid thing to do." Despite this, Canada's four-people-per-day death toll hasn't shifted and - as Waterloo Region police Chief Bryan Larkin stoical- ly reminded the crowd - im- paired driving accidents re- main the leading cause of criminal deaths in Canada. Not surprisingly, the le- galization of recreational cannabis means no one will be heaving a sigh of relief any time soon. "Basically, where canna- bis is right now is where drinking and driving was 20 years ago," Henry says of the educational learning curve that, some hope, will inspire more frank conver- sations between parents and kids. "Hopefully it'll go quick- er, or too many people will die." MADD Waterloo Region founder Sharon-Lee Lan- driault, whose son was killed in a hayride tragedy in 1984, calls cannabis "a new complication to an old problem." "We still have a lot of work to do, especially with new drug-impaired driv- ing. And so we just keep plugging on. But there's a light at the end of the tun- nel, and it's not a train com- ing at you." This cautious optimism, tempered with grim hu- mour, is characteristic of most MADD members I talk to. At first it seems surpris- ing, this lightheartedness in the face of personal trag- edy. But as they talk about their individual journeys, it becomes clear that humour is a coping tool and that there is strength in num- bers. "The devastation was immeasurable," Patricia Hynes-Coates, MADD Can- ada's national president, told the assembled crowd of survivors, police, paramed- ics, firefighters and politi- cians. "But we realized we weren't alone." She pauses, choking back tears: "You just put one foot in front of the other and move slowly forward." It's a message the Ver- hoeves agree is key. "I do feel like I'm able to function and continue with my life," says Tracy, a moth- er of one who laments the fact her father will never know his grandchild. "But you think about them a lot. You just carry it with you." jrubinoff@there- cord.com Twitter: @JoelRubinoff 'YOU DON'T REALLY THINK IT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU' - IMPAIRED DRIVING VIGIL REFLECTS ON STARK TRUTH JOEL RUBINOFF jrubinoff@therecord.com LOCAL Introduce yourself to thousands of new customers in the Waterloo Chronicle. It's a great way to showcase your products and services to consumers who care about keeping our community vibrant and strong by supporting local businesses like yours. HELLO! my name is To get your business seen call 519.579.0301 Tired of following the pack? Check out the Waterloo Chronicle for a look at some attractions and activities off the beaten path. www.waterloochronicle.ca