Ontario Community Newspapers

Port Perry Star, 12 Jun 1930, p. 7

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Emami as a (warm) hr in POSE me 2 varie & there was the a.sent-minded a 'who toasted his prescriptions, The bald man enter entered the barber's * 'and asked for a bottle of his best r restorer. --"Here is a preparation that will. Brow hair on an egshell.," Bald Head--"Right. I'll take a large bottle; and please wrap up a brush and comb with at The SScgmimodating Women They uséd to wear a lot of clothes We were young and tender, So that a fellow had to guess If they wete fat or slender; But now one does not have to guess, «ean seg right through a Nile e--- ar Powder my back." nbby--"How far down?" 'Wife--'To where my evening gown begins." © + Hubby--"I thought you raid your back?" Some women are so much afraid they are going to be lirted with, it is almost impossible to treat 'hem polite- ly. Making a living 1s man's most monotonous occupation. Miss Lengthy-- I am a model." Miss Cattye--"Yes, step-ladder, perhaps. "I'll have you know dear--fo: a And then there's the absent-minded plumber who forgot to forget his tools. "These rocks are not what they were cracked up to be," sighed the dis- appointed gold digger. Fred--"Cheer up, it's time to kiss the bride." Harry--""You're all wrong; it's time for me to quit." Helen--"Do you kissing?" Gladys--"T never had a date with him." . like promiscuous Many a couple has married on pups py love only to lead a dog's life after- wards. Whether or not we came from mon- keys shouldn't worry us, if we can be assured we are not going to the dogs. Mrs. Paul--"Do you tell your hus- band everything?" Mrs, Gaul--"Why, I can't, He won't listen to me long enough." ' It is more ehawiable to forgive than to give. Vigitor--"Isn't it difficult to keep your household budget straight?" Mrs, Newlywed--""My dear, it's ter- rible. . This month I've had to put in two mistakes to make mine balance." Gala All the letter carriers Are wearing brand new clothes, All the letter boxes Are draped in colored bows, Maidens selling postage stamps Are wearing frocks of tvlle-- It is gay commencement day. A school for brides is being opened in New York. Many a young married woman over there hardly knows how to set about her first divorce. ere} tenn. Those Chain Letters Many people have heen annoyed re- cently by receiving chain letters, and in at least one case known to the writer a child was among the victims of the chain letter fle' ds. The only sensible thing to do when you receive a chain letter is to tear it up and put it in the wastepaper bas- ket. But many people Who have the strength of mind to do this are still worried by the vague fear that there may be something in it, and that they have brought bad luck on themselves. In this connection, it is interesting to note that a famous writer and Nobel Prize winner, Madame Sigrid Undset, recently, said she had "broken at feast twenty chains and experi- enced no misfortunes--if the award of the literary Nobel Prize is not re- garded as a misfortune," She added that she tore up one chain letter on the morning of the day when the Nobel Prize was awarded to her, 5 Lm it * Perhaps You've Tried It | The dearest place on earth is home, We're told, search where we will; . But take a w by the sea-- Youn find that dearer still!, rl---- The 'Pecher--"And now are thefe "any questions you would like to ask?" Little Bobby--"Do you think Jonah's | wife fall for that fish story, when B pe, wot home?" RE ten cent cigar mild . . , fragrant. 3% & Still most for the money Y= will sleep more soundly than ever before in your cosy Third Class stateroom on a Canadian Cunard ship. Soft mattresses, spot- less linen, warm blankets, feather pillows, bedspreads, clean towels, large mirror and washstand, plenty of soap and water, cleanliness every~ where . . . and trained stewards to wait on you. All thisis part of Third Class service on this famous Line, This service means that you eat, sleep and play asyounever did before, onthe voyage over and back. Make sure you are going to enjoy the trip by sailing Cunard to the Old Country. Book through The Cunard Line, Corner of Bay and Wellington Stracts, Toronto, (Tel. Elgin 9471). or ony steamship agent Weekly sailing to Ply mouth, Havre, London, Belfast, Liverpool and lasgow, in conjunc- Tx tion with the Anchor- D 'naldson Line. CUNA Qo CANADIAN SERVICE Facts of Interest A detachment of Royal Mounted Police, one officer and 24 other ranks, the pick of the force from the" different divisions through- out Canada, is en route to London, England, to take part in the Interna- tional Horse Show at the Olympia. This famous show wpens on June 19th and continues until June 25th, The detachment of "Mounties" will give a display of horsemanship at every performance during the show. Each member will appear in the red tunic and sombiero hat, by which members of the force are so well known. The R.C.M.P.'is a force maintained by the Canadian we In Memory It had been a very convivial re- union dinner, and when the time came for the guests to depart Wilson and Robert found that their last train to faced with a fivée-milk walk home. About an hour later, and just as tWey had passed a chyrch which "had | broke the long silence that had en- sued. "Does your wife miss you when you | he asked. "Very seldom," his friend dismally replied. "There are still two large Canadian Federal Government, There are 1,609 publications issued in Canada, of which 116 are daily newspapers, 966 weakly; 12 bi-weekly; 21 semi-weekly; 5 tri-weekly; 44 semi- monthly; 388 monthly; 10 bi-monthly; 28 quarterly and 19 miscellaneous. Of the 530,000 homes in the Prov- ince of Ontario using electricity,; 43, 340 are farm homes, Total production of the forestry In- dustry in British Columbia in 1929 had a value of $90,000,000, of which lumber accounted for about 50 per cent. abn bm Though those who talk and talk and talk This proverb should appeal: The wind that blows the whistle Will never turn the wheel. eam "I tell you golf is going tc he the salvation of the nation, and lengthen our days by decades." "But our an- cestors didn't go in for golf." "And where are they now? Dead!" Nurses Wanted The in ot flinsion with vs and Allard Hospitals, New "\ork Sito offers a Three Year's Course OE Train hab Biri he 'The pupils receive hool, a monthly allowance and Javening expenses to ad_0 from New York. For further parti te or apply to the Superintendent. Excess acid is the common cause of indigestion. It results: in pain and sourness about two hours after eating. The quick corrective is a : alkali which neutralizes acid. The best th less and tagteless and fits action is quick. You will never rely on crude methods, never continue to suffer, when , you learn how quickly, how this is Phillips Milk of Magnesia, It has remained standard with physicians in the 50 years since its invention. 'Ong spoonful of Phillips' Milk of ha Bi ne :tralizes instantly many times its Yolume in acid. It is harm- premier method acts. Please let it #how you--now, * Be sure to get the genuin Pixflips' Milk of Magnesia prescribed by physt- she hit me the last time." | STURDY CHILDHOOD The sturdy child--the bright, active little chap is the one everybody loves. It is only the sickly, fretful -' ild who is not attractive. It is the birthright of every,child to be sturdy and well-- to be able to make everyone admire him. Therefore, mothers, if yours is not attractive it's your fault, not his. He must be ailing and it is up to you to see that he ge: relief--that he is given a medicine that will quickly make him well and keep him well, Baby's Own Tablets are especialiy designed for infants and young child- ren. There is nothing to equal them for correcting the irregularities of the stomach and bowels--tle cause of most of the ills from which little ones ! suffer, Jhe Tablets ¢ ve sold by medi- cine dealers or by mail at 26 cents a box from The Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont. Slang Puzzle: Paris Police There is consterr2tion among the 1,000 Paris polyglot policemen who spent weary montis absorbing a thou- sand English words, only to learn that tourists do not sneak the language of Shakespeare, The teacher of the policemen-school | to provide them with a sideline slang, with the result that they cannot | understand the average British or English that most of the tourists can- not understand them. When they got theirisheepskins, the policemen were put through another course of politeness, They were taught to smile so that all their teeth would show in the best American style as Parig sees it. They spent weary hours learning to. bend without taking the eyes off the eyes of the person they seek to impress. "They were put through paces which would give back to the French race the famous: tradition that all French- men are of the "Alphonse and Gaston" sche 1, forever praying the other to rst. . that school Paseed out with the war, and Frenchmen were far from. polite when the new High Commissioner of Tourism, 'Ggston Gerard, took it over. ian dri 3 "Ching needs a Government like ours," says a writer. It would cer. clans for 50 years in correcting excess ' (ainly serve them Tight, acids, Each bottle contains full dives: Yos--any grugstore. . nin Drives Away the Headache, are late on such occasions as this?" the suburbs had gone, and they were| chimed out the hour of two, Wilson | badly needs help ' Soy Scottish MP. WHER the. House of Com- "mons was Qiscussivg' the Bll' to set up a Consumers' Council to deal with unfair prices for food, the Kitchen Commitfee was solemnly listening to a complaint of a Scottish Labor mem- 1 that the sausage: sold in the House were too short. : Mr. A. McKinlay (Partick, Glasgow) made the allegation that the apples, toast and sausages sold in thé tea bar were too dear. The commiitee Invit- ed him to state his case, and to the end promised to consider what he had said, i ¥ When My McKinlay made his charge the indignant committee sen out for a case of sausages and pro- ceeded to demonstrate--one supposes with a tape measure--that they were as long as any that could be obtained outside. "I must be getting all the short ones," was Mr. McKinlay's retort. The complaint that the apples sold were too expensive was also contest. ed by the committee, which will com- municate its findings to Mr. McKinlay later. rein Sas Second Thoughts The boxingbooth overflowing. The gong sounded and the two boxers entered the ring. The fight began! The first, second, and third rounds f were fought evenly, but at the end of the fourth round Bashem Bill showed distinct signs of weariness. "I can't go on any more," he told his second during the rest. "I've had enough." "Don't be silly," urged the other. "You've still got a chance." "That's all very well," panted Bas- hem; "but that last blow over the eye almost blinded me--I can hurdly see "Im." "Never mind that," second enthusiastically, memory." WAS RUN DOWN NOW WELL AGAIN Takes Pleasure ir in » Recommend- ing Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. returned the "ft im from To the woman in the home illness is almost a calamity. Man woman keeps on with her house old duties when she is feeling ready to drgp. Her head aches, she is easily tired, is de- pressed and nervous and has no appe- tite. In a word she is anaemic and -the healt -help that | only Dr. Williams' Pink Pills can give | her. These pills make rich, red blood | which brings new strength and energy lumps on the back of my head where | was poor and I felt mw boys did not think it was nec essary | 81Y sister of| what's engraved on the handle." American tourist, and the polyglot po- | jcemen are so educated in the King's; to weak, despondent sufferers. Con- cerning them, Mrs. Paul Rail, Coin du Bane, Que., say "l was badly run- down, slept poorly, and awoke as tired as when I went to bed, My appetite rable. 1 took six boxes of Dr, Williams' Piuk Pilis and they completely renewed health." Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are sold by all medicine dealers or by mail at 50 cents a box from The Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Brockville, Ont. rr Irish - Immigration Rouses Scotland | Edinburgh, Scotland--The influx of Irish immigrants into Scotland was a] was packed to , Marco Cathedral in Venice were made | my | question which agitated tha General} Assembly of the Church of Scotland! recently. The matter was brought up by the Rt. Rev. John White, who was first Moderatnr of the United] Church of Scotland in 1929, Dr. White, describing the large-scale immigra-| tion as a "menace to Scottish elviliza- tion and culture." The problem was not confined, said Dr. White, to the east side of the countr$--that facing Jreland--but the western part was being flooded by Irish also. The Assembly finally decided to ask for a Government inquiry into the question, -- Minard's for Insect Bites. ee Bodice She--""Where did you get that um- brella?" He--"It was a gift from sis- ter)' She--"You told me you handn't He--"1 know--but that's me 3 em mm Grimby--"Doés - Brown undgrstand the purchasing power of a five dollar bill?" Blinks--"Yes; what him is the purchasing power wife!" 7 5% of TOTAL FARES to CANADA ADVANCED. BRITISHERS "in Canada may now bring forward their Families, "Relatives and Friends on Easy Terms. For full details apply :-~ J. D. N, Gamadian dan pati Golanizahs to BRITISH : "REUNION ASSOCIATION ee eet eee eed - of his troubles | | { { We hope you will be very happy. May we invite you to try Red: Rose Tea ! ReoBoe RED LABEL. Ten RED Rode. ORANGE Tenor Ten Red Rose Tea « "ib qood ea" "Lest We Forget" The names of 13,479 officers and men who were posted as "missing" during the War are recorded on panels in a mei orial which has been erected by the Imperial War Graves Commission at Le Touret military cemetery, near Bethune, and which is to be unveiled by Lord Tyrrell, the British Ambassador in Paris. This is one of a series of memorials of this kind, designed to commemor- ate those who fell in th» War but whose graves are not known. The names recorded here ara for one sec- tor only, and for the period up to the eve of the battle of Loos. The memorial is in the form of three solid walls enclosing an open court of rectangular shape, On the fourth-- eastern--side is a colonnade, with a wall to the east of it. This wall and the colonnade extend outwards to the north _and south to form a long gal: lery. Bronze Horses of Venice The bronze horses surmounting San in Corinth nearly 20 centuries ago. They were taken from Corinth to Rome by Nero, to Constantinople by Constantine, thence to Venice, and then to Paris by Napoleon, being re- stored to Venice after his fall. a------------ 'Religion is caught rather than taught."--Dean Inge. Learn Watchmaking Light Interesting Work Good Watchmakers (either sex) can earn good money For information write the CENTRAL TECHNICAL SCHOOL Let's Go Fishing Toronto OILS? "Many Boils on neck. Doctor said lance. Tried 'Sooth Iva' first; j oils vanished overnight, T. § "*Sootha-! ne, boils go in fow hours, Atall druggists. , But not forget to take Minard's along. 1t will take care of cuts, bruises or mosquito bite:, TIEGIE ATTY DO YOU SUFFER FROM CONSTIPATION? !Cotintiess remedies are advertised for constipation. Many relieve for the moment but they are habit form ing and must be continued. Others contain calomel and dangerous min- | eral drugs, which remain in the sys tem, settle in the joints and cause aches and pains. Some are harsh purgatives which cramp and gripe and leave a depressed after effect, Avoid lubricating oils which only grease the intestines and encourage nature's machinery to become lazy, A purely vegetable laxative such us Carter's Little Liver Pills, gently touches the liver, bile starts to flow, the bowels move gently, the intestines are thoroughly cleansed and constipa- tion poisons pass away, The st % liver and bowels are now activ the system Wp a real tonic on. ) All druggists 25¢ and 75¢ red pgs | Classified Advertising FOR BALE SED BICYLES, $10 UP, VARSITY Cycle Works, 413 Spadina Avenue, Toronto. e for free catalogue. A. Switzer, Granton, Ont. JINTL n COMB WHITE LEGHORN and Barred Plymouth Rock Baby Site ks, wonderful winter layers. We have been hat ng for 27 years. Delamere Poultry m, Stratford, Onta.lo. 'RENT" MAY AND JUNB icks, always popular. Rocks, Wyandottes, Leghorns. Free folder "Pin Money" describes ny thelr breeding "tells In the est. Order. early and save, Trent Eloctrio Hatchery, Trenton, Ont. GUILD'S A 1 CHICK MAY, 18¢ INE, OCKS, HORNS, May, live delivery gua paid on 200 or more pullegs $1.40 each and Lola: R Guild and Roc kwood, Ontario, up. al Sons, "Box B, "'After years of rheumatism, now in perfect health," says Mr, A. Duche Sate, Thousands write rheumatie neuritis, With" Pruit-a-tives" Constipation. jade gesion end ove: etuight, Nerves quiet, et"Fruit-a-tives"fromdruggist today. B. "A Miracle!" Oripple now rwalks well thanks to Kruschen " For over eight months I was laid up with rhewmatism, unable to move, when I was advised o try Kruschen Salts, It is almost a miracle, but without « word of & lie I was able to be taken to the front door in less than a werk ! in a few days I was out with the help of crutches and in a short time I was walking well, This is not a one-week testimonial, but four years. ® "TI have taken it ever since, and I never feel @ pinch of theumatismnow. 1 tell everybody about a, and advise them to take it. Iwill close my letter hoping you will publish it for others to see," Mrs, Williams, Origioal letter on file for inspection, Kruschon Salts is obtainable at drug and department stores fh Canada at 75¢, a bottle, A bottle contains enough to last for 4 or & mouths --good health for half-a-cent a days USES PINKHAM MEDICINES , Praises Vegetable ~ Compound, Blood Medicine and Liver Pills Aye Birchtown, Quebee--*1 live 13 milts from town on a farm, with all my home duties and churns ing to attend to. At the Change of Life, I became ner vous and rune down. The Vege. table Compound helped my whole -- also taken the Blood "Medicine and the Liver Pills sod they helped me. T will answer letters from Women asking about your m cines."--Mns. Ricuarp Cuanirong Birchtow, Quebec. ISSUE No. 23--'30 La Sr, Re A oy Tea ~~ . AA, Mh v (as

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