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fe spell ar message line by line of yours and mine. 4 «1 Mench Chambers. Paisatiiuiniy A REALISTIC JOKE. Way trving and Toole Astonished La a Scotch Waiter. "Sir Henry Irving used to tell with give of a joke that he, with Mr. Toole, © fhe comedian, and a third party, played ©n One occasion at a Glasgow hotel. their work they were supping at the hotel, and there was in the room a high screen. The instant the walter was gone they commenced operations. They striped the silverware, of which there 'was a tolerable supply, from the thelr cramped position a few minutes "Before they heard the unsteady feet of the walter along the passage. The darkened room amazed him, and the cold air from the window seemed to strike him with affright. "Goodness!" exclaimed he. "It's thieves they are. I thocht as much frae the lulks ©' them and frae their gay talk and their lauchin' Eh, but I'm a ruined man! I wish I hadna tak- en the hale o' that last bottle! Here! Here! Thieves! Thieves! Murder! Thieves! Thieves!" And, shouting at the top of his voice, he ran out of the room and along the passage, hTe minute he had gone the others shut the window, lit the gas, restored the silver to the table and sat around, as before, enjoying a quiet cigar. Presently there was a confused mur- mur along the passage. It grew louder and louder, and in poured a truly mot- ley throng, mostly half dressed, con- sisting of the manager, two men in Bare legs and slippers, and a lady with a blanket, followed by the agonlzed walter. One man was armed with a poker, and another carried a bronze statue, ready to burl it at the thief. As they entered the merry trio all sat back and looked at them with well feigned amazement, and Toole said to the as- tonished and bewildered manager: "Do you always come in this way with your friends when a gentleman asks for his bill?" "To Dream, Eat Fruit. 'A {heory of the occult world which evidently had its foundation in the old {dea of the connection between Welsh rarebits and dreams is just interesting London. Mr, B. A. Cochrane, who is nor." STR The scientist smiled triumphantly. *There is your f," he sald. "The burning glass Wilf collect a tiny portion of a burning bbject's heat, and the tiny portion of the sun's heat that It gives us Is yet sufficient to change In = jiffy a block of granite into a puff of steam."--Exchange. A FEARFUL PEST. Ferociéus Mosquitoes Swarm Ia Scandinavia. Hunters find the mosquitoes a terri ble pest in parts of nortbern Scandina- via. One writ "The warmth of the sun is rousing The That the long slope toward our biyouac the scores 'of the foe are gradually muiti- plied 'to hundreds, 'the hundreds to thousands, the thousands to myriads, til we are at length enveloped in a dense cloud of winged fiends. The horses are a distressing sight. From nose to tail, from hoof to withers, their unfortunate bodies are covered with what might be taken at a casual glance for gray blanket clothing, but which is really a textile mass of seething insect life, 80 closely set that you could not anywhere put the point of your finger on the bare hide. "For such smnall creatures mosquitoes exhibit an astonishing amount of char- acter and diabolcal intelligence. They dash through smoke, creep under veil or wristband like a ferret into a rabbit hole and when they can neither dash nor creep will bide thelr time with the cunning of a red Indian. We wore stout dogskin gloves, articles with which they could have had no previous ncquaintanee, and yet they would fol- low eaeh other by hundreds in single file up and down the seams, trying ev- ery stitch, in the Lope of detecting a flaw." And the same writer concludes: "THe problem presents itself, Why are these vermin so horribly bloodthirsty and so | perfectly formed for sucking blood? It is one of the great mysteries of nature. On the uninhabited stretches of IMin- mark they must as a rule exist on veg- etable diet, the chances of blood so rarely occur," an authority on the subject of dreams, { said: "I have discovered that no clear dream is possible on the ordinary diet 0 meat, or similarly heavy food, or anything containing alcohol, must be taken, if the right kind of dream is to 'come. "Fruit is the best kind of food for the perfect dreamer. Such a diet will enable people to get into real touch with the spirit world, and they will be » Te ct their dreams on . p and tobacco must c 'ong is 4 'night I put under my bolster # plain card and a pencil and the in- stant 1 awake] write down a summary | of what 1 have dreamed. After break- fast 1 write it out fully. Thus I have | a record of my dreams for the past ten | years." * He Conquered Carlyle. ! <The Rev. Thomas Alexander, a Pres- | byterian minister long resident in Chel- sea and well known as a brother Scot, was most anxious to know Cariyle, but had no opportunity of getting an intro- duction to him. One day in the King's road he saw Carlyle coming in his di- | rection and took advantagé of the op- portunity by going up to the sage and gaying, "Thomas Carlyle, I believe." Carlyle's reply was, "Tom Alexander, I know!" They became good friends, and later lyle for a subscription toward a school building fund, an® Carlyle wrote back a refusal in doggerel, whereupon Mr. Alexander replied that if he did not | send him £5 he would sell his poetry to a collector or publish it. The £35 'was at once forthcoming. ete. The Sced of Hemp. Chief Justice Cattlin (1571), from Whom the Spencers, Russells and many of the greatest English families are | descended, when sentencing a prisoner eomvis as a go-between in the cor- rei fdence between Mary of Scotland and the Bishop of Ross thus addressed him: "The good seedsman hath sowed in you good gifts, but as it is said In the gospel, then came the enemy and he sowed darnel, cockle and noisome weeds. Such wicked seedsmen have been in England. If they had sown the right seed for their own use, the seed of hemp, and felt of it, then had they yecelved according to their deserving, hemp, meet seed for such seedsmen."-- | Xondon Standard. Parfianrentary. No M. P. is permitted to say bluntly and directly that another ls drunk, but may hint at the in periphrase, when Mr. Glads replying to an pventional speech of Disraell's, re- "The right honorable gentle- ly, access to r. Alexander wrote to Car- | Genesis of Cotten Im Amerie. The first pins 'ing of cotton seed in the colonies was in the Carolinas in the year 1621, when seeds were planted as an experiment in a garden. Winthrop says that in 1043 "men fell to the manufacture of cotton, whereof we have great stores from Barbados." In 17386 it was cultivated in the gardens | along Chesapeake bay, especially in the i vicinity ef Baltimore, and at the open- | Ing of the Revolution it was a garden plagtiin New Jersey and New York, but its 'real value seems to have been almost unknown to the planters until about 1780, | The Chameleon. The American chameleon, a small liz- ard, inhabits various parts of the south- ern United States. The little nniial | has the remarkable habit of quickly and completely changing its colors, varying from brown to yellow and pale green. Its food consists of insects. The little animal is perfectly harmless to higher forms of life, is often kept | as a pet and has been worn attached | to a chain as an ornament. The toes | are provided with adhesive pads, which enable the lizard to run upon smooth, vertical surfaces. The Room at the Top. rd "All the lower berths are taken," sald the ticket seller. "You'll have to take an upper berth." "Of course," grumbled the professor. "There's always room at the top." In the British museum are books written on oyster shells, bricks, tiles, bones, ivory, lead, iron, copper, sheep- slin. wood and palm jeaves. OVER THE PRECIPICE. A Tragic Adventure In a Blizsard Im the Antarctic. Here is an adventure in the antarctie regions taken from Captain Robert F. Bcott's "The Voyage of the Discovery." Nine men are returning from a sledge expedition in a blinding snowstorm: "An unusually, violent squall prevented us from seeing.even one another. Iim- mediately ordered a chain to be form- ed at right angles and extending across our track, each man keeping In touch the rest, with the idea of imter- ceptiug Have, who was missing, when he came on. We shouted and blew whistles, and while this was going on Evans stepped back on to a patch of bare, smooth ice and shot out of sat Physicians tell us that all the blood in a health human body passes throug the heart once in every two minutes, If this action be~ comes irregular the whole body suffers. Paor health follows poor blood ; Scott's Emulsion makes the blood pure. One reason why SCOTT'S EMULSION is such a great aid is because it passes so quickly into the blood. It is partly di- gested before it Satery the stomach ; a dovhle advan-+ Fei and more direct b efits, To get the greatestamount of good with the least pos- sible effort is the desire of everyone in poor health. Scott's Emulsion does just that. A change for the better takes place even be- fore you expect it. We willsend you a ample free. + Be sure that this picture in the form of a label is on the wrap- per of every bottle of Emulsion you buy. Scott & Bowne Chemists Toronto, Ont. 50 centaand $1.00 All drugglsts others evéntually moved on until they, too, found themselves on an awkward slope: "Their leader suddenly saw the presipice beneath his feet and far be- low, through the wreathing snow, the sea. "Another step would have taken him over the edge. He sprang back with a cry of warning, and those behind him, hearing it, dug their heels instinet- ively into the surface, and, with one exception, all succeeded in stopping. What followed was over in an instant. | Before his horror stricken companions | had time to think poor Vince, unable to | check himself with his soft fur boots, | had sbot from among them, flashed past the leader and disappeared." Vince was never seen again, but Hare, the first missing man, staggered back to the ship two days after the others, | remembering nothing between strug: gling to a patch of rock for shelter and waking thirty-six hours later covered with snow. * THE MAN ON FOOT, In Stamboul Me Has No fights ag Against the Howseman. One of the peculiarities in Stamboul is the Insolent demeaner of the horse- man te the footman. Many times daily you will see some rascal of a cabman trying to drive down a well dressed man on the street. The drivers rarely take the trouble to shout as they ap- proach pedestrians. I was often filled with wonder at observing the meek- ness with which well dressed Turks on foot submitted to such treatment fro sha bby Turks on carriage boxes. Even when no injury was done to such a pe- destrian, he was often bespattered with mud. Stamboul must be an unpleas- ant place in which to live. Were cab- men in our country to treat pedestrians so recklessly there would be many cases of assault and battery, and I think some mortality among the Jehus. One day I saw a uniformed Turk picking his way across the street, using his saber as a walking™stick. A car riage suddenly dashed down on him, and its driver, after nearly running over him, burled at him a volley of what sounded like choice Turkish abuse. The uniformed Turk retorted not. He scraped the mud off bis uni- form, stuck his saber under his arm and waded ashore. In our country a man with a saber would have used it on the driver's back. By this I do not mean that Turks are lacking in spirit--far from it, but apparently it would seem to be the custom of the country that the man on foot, as against the man on horseback, has no rights. --"A Levantine Log Book," by Jerome Hart. s AN ODD SEA FOOD. Virtues of the Gigantic Marine Smafl Known as the Abaleme. Though the flesh of the abalone is a nutritious and wholesome article of food, highly esteemed by the Chinese and Japanese, few people in the Unit ed States know. anything a the abalone except that it has 'with a bright, pe situation makes a cover for its by drawing one or more of the there during the heat of the day, Her Preference. ried a year. husband ?" "Sober, mum."- i They Went Together. 4 1 had a friend. I had, as well, 4 A little cash to lend. ly His Cure. "How did you cure your bo swearing?' "By the laying on of hands princi iy" How do you like: My money and my friend! A Few Removed. The dictionary's full of words. The fact removes a doubt. 1 dreamed last night that co Had worn them wholly out. Up to Date. gar on a horse, and' "-- mobile." N returning thanks tot [ patronage extended $0 ears, I would respectful wm, as usual, now rea ba Large & Ass )F DOUBLE AND SIN which I am determined to: Ax an inducement to C2 -4 Diuconet of 0 vill bo allowed on all Sal Jun. lst next, All gar MADE BY wid ne "factory work -kep super ority of my goods wil appa ent. 2 Intending purchasers giving ve a call before lo the yoan he suited in quality long experience in the traded putavle guarantee that p will be given by any urticle Everthing in my line, oustantly on hand and. re sromptly attended to. las just taken POY SHOE ne door South of Hotel, where he inte nds of Boots and dl kinds of repairin itrictly attended to. o please all who « ossible. "What is that old saying, 'Put 8 H8 gt ed "a over the blossom and keeping ' th And now I've lost, oh, sad to tell, 5 "A HM IE "He'll kick because it isn't an 4 20 meet the veguireme pen general public i i Removal T The unders gned wou d take this opportunity of thanking his nu- morous customers for the liber . patronage received since opening business in Port Perry, and would inform the public Sit Iie bas moved his business [rom he Market building te the Store Willard Block - Queen Street where he will be pleased to fillall crders for Meats in a manner that cannot fail to please custoniers. Having new and increased fucilities for the transaction of husiness he frels confident that he can give better satisfaction than heretofore, and in order te aerify this state he solicits all to give Lim a call iu his new premises, wa GAME AND FISH IN SEASON. 'I. J. WHEELER. its also the robber that steals from many a busi- ness man the opportunity to become wealthy... .... Im Central Livery PORT P:RRY. I EARTILY thanking the puhiic for the liberal patronage received during the many years 1 have kept a Livery Kotallish ment in Port Perry, Ihave much pleasure iv announcing that I have yemoved MY LIVERY! to my former place of business Water Street which I am about to lmigely extend in- crense fucilities so that the public may he better uccommoduted with safe und desir able RIGS AT MODERATE CHARGES R. VANSICKLER. Part Perry, Jaoe 21, 1900. Located in Our New Premises S.T.CawkeraSon Ww ISH TO ANNOUNCE that that they are now gomfort ibly ensconsed in their new pre mises in the Purdy Block _ "an ample supply of es that cannot fail to ii supply of Medts of "the ver nest grades, and cut in dimension -0 please the most fastidious. All orders will receive prom 'ttention. S. T. CAWKER & SON darch g, 1go2. Sealed Tenders QJEALED TENDERS will b Dy received by the undersigned fo he purchase of all or any of th Parcels-- Farm Properties. -- belon; ng to Mr. John Adams, advertise: o be sold by auction on the 23r November, and withdrawn at th ale. J- A. McGILLIVRAY, Temple Building, Torout. Nov. 30,1899. EARS® IENCE 50 Traps MARKS DESIGNS NC CopyRiGHTS &C. ding a sketch and descr opinion free w! il. ELAR SR where the Public will always fin: El | 3 WéDivision Coury: COUNTY OF ONTARIO! 18CE.C Jniv 4, Nepts: , UO ember , Jan. 10, 107. | PROVGHAM=OF fk, M. Gleeson. Cieeywen!'-- Tarts acy 11, Marel-8,7 May 8 July, 5 Septet 1b, Mov. ember 7, Jau al, MT. PORT PEHRY: Clerl --Jannary 13, Man 11, November 8, J I. UXRRINOE- Clerk. January 12, Murch 21, November 2, J i, CANNINGTON--Clogk January 11. March 15, £0, Novemier 22, Jan Lian, 4) Por Pery - iy 5, Bepbow. im Ganld, Uskridges 3 Juiy 20, September ib 7 Nh Ci 18, Ter. 3 plotaber fhe ON AR TER (Ra 19, Novewler 2, Jun. 18, 137. g /. UPTFRGRO\E -- Murch 13, en F- Clerk, Thoa TT. Hart, Uptergrove Mey 15, July I7, Eepecuil el Jo, Dove ' N By order, J. E. FARF WELL, Clerk of the Peace, Dated at Whithy, Nov. 14th, 1905, General Blacksmithing Che undersigned having opened: business in the theo Illy couged by Mn BLE) ust west of Drse- Archer & Archer's Mice, 1s prepared o do ull kinds of i General Blacksmithing at Rea wahle Charges. . S. W. SWITZER. art Perry, Sept. 16, 1go2.~ PAINTING Kalsomining, &e ME nndersigns d would take this oppor tunity of tha king hix numarous pat- ons for thejr liberal and still increasing' atronage during the time he bas cunied on the business of a: PAINTING, . + Port Perry, md would state thut he etter prepared than ever to execute a orders for : 'ainting. Kalsemunng and Paper Hanging » Parties ontrasting their work to me may yon having it neatly and _premptiy exe: ated, My charges ave uiodeinte. 1 am also prepured to supply Paints; &a,y Sen goutracting. . Y A continuance of public pationzge sol ited. - ; TM. LREMEVR. fort. Perry, Mar. 23, 1503. UNDERTAKER, and Funeral Director; PERRY Tal ot foi sale at ow an sn thi shah ue 2o 4 Athos Chase, a 4 ATE