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i iy {Tia prveoay OH WOL XXL, NOLO ui A tilt § Sl afin Jona htm : rT Te TTY 5 lanoneg ™ TT * * PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, FEB. 7, 1878. Yindd 180 rea WHOLE NO 1053 Huth: Ontarie. bserurr. A WEEKLY POLITICAL, AGRICUL TURAL § FAMILY NEWSPAPER, "AT PORT PERRY, ONT. Re THURSDAY MORNING, BY B wd & PARSONS. ---- per annum, if- paid-in vance pif 'not $1.50 will be: charged, subscription taken for less than six months; and, er discontinuéd until all arrears ato peig., vw RATE F line, first insertion ... ment msertions, per line Qardi, under 6 lines, per annum... ... +8 00 oA Tiettérs containing money, when ad. dressed to this Office, pre-paid and regester- ed, mill beat our risk. 'Advertisements measured by Nonpareil, aad charged according to the space they oc-- cupy. . . Advertisements received for publication, without specific instructions, willbe inserted antil forbid and charged accordingly. No advertisement will be taken out untilpaid for. 4 liberal discount allowed to Merchants and others who advertise by the year or half-year, \ These - terms will'in all cases be strictly ai.eved to ii Job Department. Pamphlets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Boks, Checks, Books, Circulars, Business Cards, Ball Cards, &c., of every style and color, executed promptly and at lower rates than any other establishment in the County. Parties from a distance getting hand bills, &o. printed can have them done to take tome with them. J. BAIRD © § OF ADVERTISING. ..$0.08 0 02 H. PARSONS. Professional Cars. == -- H. SANGSTER, M. D., Physician, Sur- J. geon and Accoucheur, Coroner for the County of Ontario PORT PERRY. Office over Nott's Furniture Store, corner of «ueen and Perry Streets. Office hours from 9 a. m. to 12 m. Residence, the dwelling recently occupied by Mrs. Geo. Paxton. R. WARE, Coronor for the County of Ontario, Physician, Surgeon and Aec- coucheur, Oftice, opposite the town hall. Port Perry. ed RS. MCGILL & RAE, Physclans, Surgeons, &c., &e, Office and Residences, King st., Oshawa, WM. M'GILL, MD. FRANCIS RAE, M.D. M. R. C. 8, Guy's . F. MCBRIEN, M.D. it, Tonio : The liye R. Hospital, London, England. 0, H. L,, Oshawa, E. FAREWELT, LT. B. + Attorney for Ontario, Ba Salicitor, and Notary Public apled by 8. IH, Cochrane, E Whitby YMAN TL. ENGLISH. LL. B., Solicitor in Chancery, Attorney, Conveyancer, &e. Oshawa. OMce--Simeoe street, opposite the Post Office oe ely Brock strect, -- YOUNG SMITH, LL. B., Barrister, At- . torney-at-Law, Solicitor in Chancery, and Insolvency, Notary Public, &e. OfMce--MecMiilan's Block, Brock street, Whitby. rs A. HURD, Attorney at Law, and Solieitor P. fi Chancery. Office in the Royal Arcade, Port Perry. W. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan- A cery, Notary Public, &c., &c. Office hours punctually from 9 a.m. to 5 pm. Money to Loan at 8 per cent, on all kinds of good security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. J. A. MURRAY, ATE Patterson & Fenton, Surgeon Dentist, Office over Corrigan & Camp- bell's Store, Port Perry. All work done in the very latest and best style and warranted to give satisfaction. Port Perry, March 28, 1877. C. N. VARS, L. D. 8. mer inserted on all the latest princi- ples of the art, and as cheap as the cheap- est, and as good as the best. Teeth filled with Gold and Silver. Teeth extracted without pain by producing local angesth- esia. Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's new block, over Atkinson's Drug Store, King Btreet, Oshawa. CHAS. THORN, V 8, EMBER of the Veterinary Institute, Chicago, Ill. Gold Medalist for the best examination on Horse Practice. Author of a First Prize Essay on Shoeing. Gradu- ated Sept. 16, 1867. "Dr. Thora begs to announce that he has taken up his residence at Port Perry, and is to' treat all cases entrusted to n the most skillful and scientific . All orders left at the Medical Hall of Mr Allison, will receive prompt attention. 8@~ The Veterinary Stables may be found on Lilly street, opposite Cossitt's Factory. Port Perry, Oct. 28, 1873. frchitects, Kc. pepper ENRY GHIST, Pate SOLICITOR AND DaavcaTMAN, Ottawa, Canada Pransucts business with the Patent Office and other departments of the Government Copyrights and the Registration of Trade Marks and Designs procured. Drawings, "Specifications, and other Documents neces. to secure Patents of Invention, prepared on receipt of the model of the Invention. W. CUDLIPP, Anomirecr, &o. faving had considerable practical ex. perience in France, the United States dnd Canada, and holding Certificates from Her Majesty's P fvy Council in Building Construction, I em prepared to turnish | YESIGNS, PLANS, DETAILS, ESTI x MATES fo For Buildings, at alow figure _ All orders addressed to me, Port Perry Office, will receive immediate attention, N.B. 1am prepared to erect Buildings of any size or kind. Port Perry, Feb 8, 187" Jadebedriid fond fod -- FWusic. GTON, Teacher of Musie BARRING dealer in Musical In straments. Residence, on Union Avenue. ---------- SFI88 8. 8, HARRINGTON, Teacher of Music. Anplications by Post or in person cited. Residende; on 'Union Avenue, Port erry' es! ad- N a goad can hi and rit class war. | SPENCE. ' t Licensed Re the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, prompt remittances made. WALSHE, the North Ontario Auction- eer. Under the New Act. 1st con, Brock. Tr tles, Whitby, July 29, 1874. The VICTORI WH SPENCE, CoNTaAgToR, BUILDER, &C. absord fn retur ng his sincere wery liberal The 81 ks for . the: than : ry patronage be-, im in the past wou Id inform the a erly that having bought a mov! I pd nto, the lage of "he will in future give his whol Abert to! his business as and | un DE ane JW ork. Bricks ertake or} - fain wa over ing connecte h he will aa very low: y be jy Ta Dest material Prince Albert, April 5, 1870. LICENSED AUCTIONEER. 5 ETURNING my sincere thanks to my R numerous friends and patrons for their liberal patronage bestowed upon me as Auctioneer during the past eight years, 1 would now beg to offer my services to all who may have Farm Btock, Implements, or other property to sell by Auction anywhere in North Ontario, or Cartwright, the township of Mariposa My long and 'extensive practice as Auc- tioneer has enabled me to judge the value of Farm Stock with an accuracy second to none in the County, and this is of import- ance as if the Auctioneer is not a good JAMESLUND judge of the value of Stock he may soon 9 lose far more than his fee in any sale, Bill stamps always on hand. . Sale Bills srranged and notes supplied free of charge. Days of Sale may be arranged at the Opserver Office, where a Sale Register will be kept. Terms Liberal. WNW, Port Perry, Sept. 4, 1877. 4 ~ E. MAJOR, © [CENSED AUCTIONEER. All parties £ wishing lls services can call at the Observer" Office, Port Perry, and arrange for days of Sales. Glen Major, Oct. 10, 1876. ee greeermm WM. GORDON, Auctioneer, Valuafor. &e. Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, pey™ Parties entrusting their Sales to me may rely on the utmost attention being given o their interests. WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. © T.H. WALSHE, | A | est largest M Insti RV LL Sine years, i Aarerol) dl wi MORTGAGES WANTED. | Ley. 4] r hands estment on m 'a Vill Pi an her Ne in this Hi oR pd ZS ed candep nd on getti ean dep don Sune their money with the WANTED '70 PURCHASE, ny number of Mortgages for which the high- figures will be aliwed: Fro, He 'Weare also appraisers for the Canada Per- muont Butiding Society, the chea Re n from 2 to 2 B) Lands Bought and Sold. Several good farms for sale. 2 Agents for several first class Fire In- surance Com panies. Collections made and a general agency busi- ness transacted. 7% DEBENTURES BOUGHT.-&X JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, General Agents, Office In Mr. Ross' Ontario Buildings, Port Perry. Port Perry, Oct. 11, 1872, MONEY, LAND & INSURANCE BROKER, ONV EYANCER, Commissioner for taking Afdavits in Court of Queen's Bench, &e. MONEY TO LOAN In any manner to suit borrowers, Morigages Bought, Accounts,' Notes, &e., Collected and prompt remittances made. | The party borrowing money can get it without commission, at Eight per cent, and | Is allowed to fix his own time for payment | of iiterest once a year (not in advance), and he can at any time, fist as clreumstances permit repay part or all of the principal sum without BEOZ notice to the Company, they binding themselves in the mortgage 10 accept | such sum, whether large or small, and or it ns a direct reduction of principal, immedi= ate incelling the interest on the sum paid. Ne ra charge is exacted on such repay- | nent. Loans made from 2 to 20 years on | Tarim, op good productive town and village property. In all cases where the title is perfeet, wi | guarantee that a One Thousand Dolla | Loan will not co the borrower more than jten dollars, and loans up to five thousand 11 " 'dollars not to exceed twenty dollars, As I jam acting as Agent and Valuator for both | Companies there can possibly be no publi- city in the transaction. [VHE Subscribers have large Suns 'of mon-' 10 BANK. ONTA |cAPITAL $3,000,000 PORT PERRY BRANCH. SAVINGS DEPARTMENT. A Savings Department is now open in connection with this Branch. Deposits of Five Dollar and upwards received and inter est allowed thereon, No notice of withdrawal required, A, A, ALLEN, MANAGER. hotels. THE WALKER HOUSE PORT PERRY ee Subscriber having leased the above hotel, it will be his endeavor to conduct it in every particular so as to merit the approbation and patronage of the public. THE WALKER HOUSE whether for extent or quality of accommo- dations js equalled by few Hotels in the Province and surpassed by none out of the best cities. Commercial Travelers, the Traveling Public, Farmers and others doing business in the Village and the general public will find in THE WALKER HOUSE all that can be required in the matter of accommodation and moderation in charges. The Charges are No Higher at the 'Walker House than at any other Hotel in Town. The House is fitted up throughout in FIRST CLASS STYLE. The Tables and Bar supplied with the choice of the market and the utmost atten-- tion paid to the convenience and comfort of ALL GUESTS. An abundance of comfortable Stable and Shed accommodation, and attentive hostlers. W. B. McGAW. Port Perry, April 20, 1876. Per PERRY HOUSE, PORT PER RY. JAS. V. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR. The above House is now most comfort- ably furnished, and Guests are cared for in the Home Style. Good Liquors and Cigars, also, first cliss Stabling and good Ostlers.-- ICENSED Auctioneer for the Township | If the title is perfect the money will be | Additions have been made which maker this of Brock, Thorah, North Ontario ; Mariposa, cte., in the County of Victoria. Reside Cannington, Brock. ¥1 | Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctuaily attended to. Debts col- lected in Cannington, or otherwise, and Remember-- JAMES W. BEALL. rPYOWNSHIP CLERK, TOWNSHIP OF EAST WHITBY. Conveyancing and General Inswance Agent. Office in the Town Hall, Business hours from 9 a.m. till 5p. m. The Clerk will be home for township business on Mondays and Saturdays. JAMES V. BEALL, | Tp. Clerk. Columbus, March 28,1877. W. BURN HAM, Clerk of the Third Divi- . sion Court. Office in Bigelow's Block, Port Perry. Office hours from 10a m, to 3 p. mM. ' RMAN, INSPECTOR of WEIGHTS § MEASURES For the County of Ontario. | Port Perry, Nov 1, ¥875. 45:tf New Marriage Act. Port Perry, July 1st, 1874. HE CHARLES having been re- ( nish Licenses as appointed Marriage License Agent-- after sixteen years duty) continues to fur- heretofore--at Port Perry. R. RICHARDSON, Re-appointed Issuer of Marriage Licenses. Office, lot 10, in the Brock, Aug. 5,1874. 33 FORMAN, ISSUER OF Marriage Licenses. One door west of the Walker House Port Perry. OHN CHRISTIE, TOWNSHSP OLERK, gsuer of Marriage Licenses--Conveyancer, Commissioner &c. Office-- Manchester. WHITBY STEAM MARBLE WORKS. J. & R. WOLFENDEN, YY SOLESALE and Retail dealers in Foreign and American Marble Man-- Monuments, &c., Dundas St , Whitby. Also, Agent for the Scottish Granite. 'Also Building Stone cut to orde:. JOHN XNOQTT, Agent, Port Perey. MUTUAL Fire Insurance Company of Canada, HEAD OFFICE,....... HAMILTON. THE is decidedly orie of the best companies in the Dominion, and' parties having property to insure will do well 10 consider the many advantages of insuring with this Company. T. H. WALSHE, Agent, 3 Cannington, Ont. Cannington, Sept. 26, 1876. tion. | JAMES, LUND, | Parrish's Block, Cor, Broc reets, Uxbridge. '0 LOAN. The undersigned has any amount of Money ! to lend upon Farm and Town Property, at | Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loans can be repaid in any manner to suit the borrower. Also several Improved Farms, and Wild Lands for sale, cheap. Investments made in Municipal Deben tures, Bank and other marketable Stocks, Apply to Uxbridge, JAMES HOLDEN, Official Assignee, Broker, &e. Orrice--Over the Dominion Bank, McMil- lan's Block, Brock st., Whitby. Whitby, April 10, 1873, NOTICE TO FARMERS & OTHERS MONEY TO LOAN. HE undersigned would say to the owners of Real Estate, that he has in his hands a laage amount of private funds which he is prepared to invest for periods to suit borrow- ers--interest at eight per cent. Expedition and most reasonable terms assured. 8. H, CHRISTIAN. Manchester, October 17, 1877. | MONEY. [Private Funds,] | "I'o Loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent in- terest. LYMAN ENGLISH, BARRISTER, &C., Oshawa November 21, 1866. 4 Money to Loan N Farm Property at Seven and a half per cent. . No Commission. Enquire at P. A. Hurd's Law office, Port Perry. P. A. HURD, Solicitor, &c. Port Perry, Jan. 9, 1878. I= OF DIVISION COURTS FOR THE County of Ontario, For the year | & R in paid here in two weeks r ca " A E Mara & Rama in J e 0 weeks after making applica- | 41 largest and best House in this section of Fare $1.00 per Day. HOUSE, PORT PERRY, The Subscriber having leased this comfort. {able and convenient Hotel, will spare neither labor nor expense in providing for the com. fort and convenience of guests. The Tables will always upplied with the best to be bad in the market. Only choice Liquors and Cigars at the Bar. Any quantity of firstclass Stable and Shed accommodation properly attended Lo Ly careful Ostlers. CHAS, HOLT. Port Perry, Macch 8, 1876. I EVERE HOUSE, MANCHESTER. By GEO. HOUCK. « Having leased the above excellent Hotel it will be my endeavor to conduct it in every particular so as to merit the appro- bation and patronage of the public. Manchester, Oct. 6, 1875. OTE HOTEL, WHITBY, T. MASON, - - PROPRIETOR. The public well cared for, and all Guests will please feel at home. Whitby, Nov, 9th, 1876. UEENS HOTEL, Corner of Cameron and Laidlaw Sts. CANNINGTON, Ost. D. CAMPBELL, . . . Proprietor This Hotel is now furnished in the best style, and offers: every accommodation to travelers p&y™ First class Sample Rooms. Livery attached. Cannington, Oct. 20, 1875. 43 nn AX LO-AMERICAN HOTEL, PRINCE ALBERT. W. H. PARK, - = - PROPRIETOR. Having purchased the above pleasantly situated Hotel, 1 have thoroughly repaired and renovated the entire premises even to the Sheds. The Hotel has been furnished in First-Class Style and Stocked with the best Liquors and Cigars! Strict attention paid to the comfort of guests. The table and bar well supplied. W. H. PARK. Prince Albert, June 12, 1875. LA RHITROSG HOUSE, (LATE ALBION,) WHITBY, ONTARIO. E. ARMSTRONG, PROPRIETOR. ee ------ The Only First Class House in Town. ENSON HOUSE, late Jewett House, Kent Street, Lindeay. Board, $1.50 per day. E. BENSON, Proprietor. OYAL EXCHANGE HOTEL, PORT PERRY LIVERY STABLES, C. TE Subscriber having now fully Upped his new and extensive Livery § bis wi a Supply o superior Horses and Carriiges, 18 Te! LIVERY RICS On Moderate Terms. C. MCKENZIE. PROPRIETOR. 6, 1873 Port Perry, Au) 1878. I WILLTAMSBURG, CARTWRIGHT. = E. BRYANS, Proprietor, |= g = ols le v The Subscriber having succeeded Mr. Mason 5 (5|S {E212 15|5|3|8|8 | Shared holthor labor nor expense in re-ntting re- GES ESSERE I Lh on repr is i 1 21 1] 11 1 | sui with a superior class of Liquors an 1 3 i 1 3 3 2 the st brands of Clgars, The rin of the 51 6[17 21126 4|1214]27 | market proyided for the Tables. cellent 8li2l lugi21 ! 5/11115/20 | stabling and attentive Ostlers. 7i11} {28(20] | 6/104 [19 E, BRYANS, 1 1 3 i 'Williamsburg, Dec. 6, 1875. G, H. DARTNELL, 4 fd QUEEN'S HOTEL, Junior Judge. WHITBY, ONT. Whitby, Jan'y 7,1878. McCANN & TAYLOR, PROPRIETORS. Every dation for the ing public, Shaving and Hair Cutting as they should be done. pe arrival in Por Perry of the two first class Tonsorial Artists, LEWIS & POWELL, Has created quite an excitement with their Smooth Shave and Artistic Hair.Cutting,-- he Rooms are over Thurne's Dry Goods re, opposite the Walker House. An agreeable and smooth shave and hair and whiskers cut in a stylish manner. . Remember the place, over Thorne's Dry | Goods Store and opposite the Walker House. Port Perry, Dec 5,1877. ONLY A HUSK. Tom Darcy, yet a young man had grown to be a very hard one. At heart be might have been all right if his' head and his will had only been all right, "bat these being wrong, the whole machine was go- ing to tho bad very fast, though there Were times when the heart felt something of its old truthful yearn- ings. Tom had lost his place as foreman of the great machine shop and what money he now earned came from old jobs of tinkering which he was able to do here and there at private houses; for Tom was a genius as well as a mechanic, and when his head was steady enough he could mend a clock or clean a watch as woll as he could set-up and regulate a steam engine --and this latter he could do better than any other man ever employed by the Scott Falls Manufacturing Company. One day Tom had a job of mend- ing a broken mowing machine and reaper for which he had received $5 and the next morning he started out for his old haunt--the village tavern. Ile knew that his wife sad- ly needed the money and that his two little children were in absolute suffering from need of clothing, and that morning he had a debate with the better part of himself, but the better part had become very weak and shaky and the demon of appe- tite carried the day. So away to the tavern Tom went, | where for two or three hours he felt the exhilirating effect of the draught and fancied himself happy, as he' could sign and laugh; but, as usual, stupefaction followed, and the man died out. Ile drank while he could stand, and then lay down in the cornor were his companions left him. It was late at night, almost mid- night, when the landlords wife came into the bar-room to see what kept her husband up, and she quickly saw Tom. Peter,' said she, not in a pleasant mood, 'why don't you send that mis- erable Tom Darcy home ? 1le's been hanging round here long enough.' Tom's stupefaction was not sound sleep. the dead coma had left his brain and the calling of his name roused his senses to keen attention, He had an insane love for rum, but he did not love the landlord. In other years Peter Tinder had loved and wooed the same maiden--Ellen Gloss--and Tom had won her leav - ing Peter to take up with the vine- gry spinster who had brought him the tavern, and he knew that Jatety the tapster had gloated over the misery of the woman who had once discarded him. "Why don't you send him home ?' demanded Mrs. Tindar with an im-- patient stamp of the foot. IIush Betsey! He's got money. Let him be and he'll be sure to spend it before ho goes home. Ii have the kornall of the nut and his wife may have the husk.' With a sniff and a snap, Betsey turned away, and snortly after Tom Dacy lifted himselt upon his elbow . 'Ah, Tom, are you awake ?' 'Yes. "Then rouse up and have a warm glass." 'Yes! Shedik not tell him that her sister had given it to her. She was glad to hear him ask for coffee instead of the old, old cider. 'I wish you would make me a cup, good and strong.' There was really musicin Tom's voice, and the wife sct about her work with a strange flutter at her heart. Tom drank two oups of the strong, fragrant coffee and went out--went out with a re- solute step, and walked straight to the great manufactory, where he found Mr. Beott in the office, 'Mr. Scott, I want to leara my trade over again,' 'Eh, Tom | what do you mean ?' 'I mean that it is Tom Darcy, come back to the old place, asking forgiveness for the past, and hoping to do better in the future.' 'Tom,' cried the manufacturer, starting forward and grasping his hand, 'are you in earnest? Is it really the old Tom ?' 'It's what's left of him, and we'll have him whole and strong very soon, if you'll only set him at work.' 'Work | Aye, Tom, and bless you, too. -- There is an engine to be set up and tested to-day. Come with me.' Tom's hands were weak and unsteady, but his brain was clear, and under his skill, ful supervision the engine was set up and tested ; but it was not perfeot. There were mistakes to correct and it was late 'in the evening when the work was complete, 'How is it now, Tom?' asked Mr. Scott, as he came into the testing room and found the workmen ready to depart. She's all right, sir. warrant without fear. 'God blessyon, Tom! You don't know how like sweet music the old voice sounds, will you take your old place again ?' 'Wait till Monday morning, sir. will offer it to me then I will take it. At the little cottage Ellen Darcy's flutter- ing heart was sinking: That morning atter Tom had gone she found a dollar in the cup She knew that he had left it for her. She had been out and bought tea, and sugar, and flour and butter, and all day long a ray of light had been dancing and shimmering be- fore her--a ray of light from other days.-- With prayer and hope she had set the tea table, and waited, but the sun went down and no Tom came. Eight o'clock--and al- most nine. Hark | The old step--quick, strong, eager for home, Yes, it was Tom with the old grime upon his hands, and the odor of oil upon his garments. «I have kept you waiting, Nellie?" "Tom ?' «I didn't mean to, but the work hung on.' 'Tom! Tom! to the old shop I' Yes ; and 1'm bound to have the old place and --' 'Ol, Tom 7' And then Tom Darcy. realized the power and blessing of a womou's love. It was a banquet of the gods--of the household gods all restored--with the bright angles of peace, love and joy spreading their wings over the board. You may give your If you You have been On the following Monday morning Tom Darcy assumed his place at the head of the great machine shop, and those who thorough. ly knew him had no fear of his going back to the slough of joylessness. A few days later Tom met Peter Tindar on the street. 'Eh | Tom, old boy, what's up ?' 'I am up, right side up.' Yes, I see, but I hope you havent forsaken us, Tom ?' «I have forsaken only the evil you have in store, Peter. The fact is that I concluded that my wife and children ;had fed on the husks long enough, and jif there was a good kernel left in my heart, or in my manhood, they should have it. . 'Ah you heard what I said to my wife that night.' Yes, Peter, and I shall be grateful to you aslongas I liver My remembrance of you will always bo relieved by that finge of warmth and brightness.' How Lickshingle Preserved his Umberella. 'Len' me your umberella a minit. Such was the exclamation of Jones Tom got upon his teet and steadi- ed himself. No, Peter I won't drink anymore to night. +It won't hurt you, Tom--just one glass.' I know it won't /' said Tom, but- toning up his coat by the solitary button left. 'I know it won't.' And with this he went out into the air of midnight. When he got away from the shadow of the tavern he stepped out and looked up at the stars, and then down at the earth. 'Aye,' he muttered grinding his heel in the earth, 'Peter Tindar is taking the kernel and leaving poor Ellen the husk--a hnsk worse than worthless! And 1 am helping him to do it. I am robbing my wife of joy robbing my children of comfort and honor, and robbing myself of love and life-- just that Peter Tindar may have the kernel, and Ellen the husk, We'll see!" It was a revelation to the man.-- The * tavefn-keeper's brief speech meant not for his cars, had ¢ome up his tenses as the voice of the Risen One upon Saul, of Tarsus. 'We'll see!' he said setting his foot firmly upon the ground. And then he wended his his way home- 'ward. On the following day he said to his wife; v 'Ellen, have you any cofféé in the house ?' as he rushed into the office of Squire Lickshingle yesterday. «Certainly, certainly,' said the Squire laying down the newspaper, and taking a fresh chew of fine cut, + glad to accommodate you,' and he opened a drawer in his desk and be- gan rummaging through his legal forms and blanks. Jones darted into a corner, seized the green gingham relic and was preparing to fly with it. «Stop, stop, stop,' said the Squire, raising his hand majestically, ' not too fast, young man. ~ Wait till I make out the necessary papers.' Jones dropped the umberella. On his corn of course. After pumping his lame foot up and down, and_ ty- ing a hard knot in his countenance, and undoing it again. he echoed : up over his bald spot until they the face said : street. onds. Young man, that's what they all say. wants but little bere below, but, by his umberella he wants it. known people in my timo who have listened to the song of the siren, un- til she has transformed them into a people without an wmberella be. twoen them and the pelting storms. I am not one of that kind, I have lived a long time, simple reason that I have not spent my substance in buying umberellas That umberells you hold in your at that. over taken it beyond the range of good condition. , It may not seem neighborly, but it is business. Tere and windows, as if to get in out of coat and Jones was decided. Cooper Institute in October last, to sustain the administration of Pres. who had never seen tho Secretary of State, but had a desire to do so, said our State. a cheer when he comes on the stage. «The necessary papers ?' «Yes, said the Squire sternly, + the necessary papers,' and he con- tinued his search among the blanks. The right one tound, he filled it out in a jiffy and handed it to Jones to sign. As Jones read tho paper his knoes knocked together. It was a mortgage on his house and lot as security that Bé would return the Lumberella in good order within fif- teen minutes. He faltered. i it ¢ Wh-why, Squire, I only want to the street with. ip two seconds.' I'll fetch it back borrow your umberella to run asross fi = TE r---- i. In a shooting. party in. Scotland; the other day, were two keepers, One of them was a very large, bull y, man, the other being compa 8 small and puny. ho big tian got' badly shot, whereapon all his' commis' panion in arms was heard to say; by: way of sympathy, was, 'Rin; mov;; rip; keep rinning, so that we may, not have to carry you so far.' formed two skylights in hisintellec: tual roof, and looking Jones full in You only want to. run across the You'll be back in two sec: Itake no stock in it. Man the Good Samaritan, whon he wants I have ida Possible tenant: There isn't much' of a view.: Landlord: Not much of aview? Why, from the front, wisi dows you look right out upon the railway station! Possible tenant! I know ; but that is not much of a view. Landlord: Isn't it? Why, you sco all the people running td catch the trains and missing them: Pleasant indeed | I have aceumu- lated a fortune. Why? For the A CHANCE FoR THE GIRLS.--A re- cent British journal contains the ad4 vertisement of a male English subject, one J. W. P., who desires td ' pass the last year of his life as 8 marriod mun. He will bind him- self to leave his wifoa widow at the end of 12 months in return for her undertaking to support him properly during that time. His tastés 'are vol extravagant. He will require one complete suit of winter clothes, 24 pounds of smoking tobacco, 363 hand is certainly not of uncommon heauty, nor is it of great value. It issimply a gingham. A green one But it answers the purpose for which, ote. I have had it since Iwasa boy, why? Because no man, neither the son of man; has my vision without first signing over his estate that he would return it in is the mortgage; there is the umber- ella; without beats the rain of bottles of brandy. He never uses heaven. You have your choice,' | 50D when he washes himself. He and the old man resumed his news- |® tall, stout, and good natured. = If his wite desires it the term of their marriage may be prolonged; if not he will hang himself on the anniversary of the wedding duy.' We gladly give 80 reasonable a man the benefit of this gratuitous advertisement. But we really cannot undertake the duty of forwarding applications to him. paper. ' Jones thought of his wife and babies and of the pleasant home that was all his own. Then he looked at the rain that was pounding at the door the wet. A glance at his new over- I'll risk it,' he said, and stepping up to the desk with measured tread and slow, he clapped his name to the mortgage, and was off with the umberella. rm « P. W.--Poison." Women can't read a boy's nature as men can, and they might as well own up to fit The Sibley street woman who yesterday sent her boy to the drug store with a bottle and a scaled note imagined that she was sharper than the serpent's tooth when she wrote to the druggist : Send me half a bottle of port wine, and write on the label P, W.-- Poison.' The druggist followed directions and when the boy got outside he tore of the wrapper and read the label. ¢ P. W.--Poison,' he mused, as he walked along--* wonder what that is? P. W. dosen't stand for bed bugs, and it dosen't mean rats cither. P. W. can't be hair dye or scalp wash, and I'm going to touch my tongue to it.' He touched. | It tasted "so good that he took a sip, and meeting three or four boys just then the crowd entered a lumber yard and P. W.'d the contents of the bottle until only gill was left. Then one of the lads ran home after a dipper of water, filled up the bottle, and the Sibley street boy trotted home, whispering : 'P. W. means purty weak, and if she finds it so she rousn't blame nobody only the druggist.' A Vermonter on Mr. Evarts. At the great meeting held in Hayes, at which it had been an- nounced that Mr. Evarts would be present, a gentleman from Vermont, to the person seated next to him: «Ig Mr. E-varts on the platform ?' ¢ No, he has not yet. arrived.' «He's expected ?' 'Oh yes; he'll be along presently.' «I've never seen Mr. Evarts, though I've heard a good deal of him He's got a farm up to Windsor in «Well, when he comes in T'll tell you. Tho boys generally give him Ab, there he comes. re -- te +Is that him ?' 'Yos.' 'William M. Evarts ? Valor tells you not to hit a man when he ¢ Certainly.' * . is down. -- Disctétion warns you not to hit ¢ Well, 1 declare!' exclaimed the |pim when he's up.--Which is the ¢ better Vermonter. 'Why, he looks as|part? though he boarded I'--IHarper's Ma-| 4 minister asked an old Indy what she gazine for January. thought of the doctrine of total depravity ? I -- « Deed, sir, quoth she, 'its a fell good doc- « Go On, Sir, Go On." trine if we could only act up to it. ¢ Yes,' said the old reprobate, 'I always recognize water when TI see it, it looks just like gin.' « My lord,' began a pompous young barrie. ter, ¢ it is written in the book of nature-- On what page, sir, on what page?' inter-' rupted the judge, pen in hand. Arago, the French astronomer, says in his autobiography that his best muster in mathematics was a word of advice which he found in the binding of a text book. Puzzl- ed und discouraged by the difficulties be met with in his earlier studies, he was almost ready to give over the pursuit. Some words which he found on the waste leaf used to stiffen the cover of his paper-bound text- book caught his eye and interested im. ¢Impelled," he says, * by an inde. finable curiosity, I damped the cover of the book and carefully unrolled the leaf to see what was on the other side. It proved to be a short letter from D'Alembert to a young person disheartened like myself by the dif- ficulties of mathematical study, and who had written-to him for counsel.' «Go on, sir, go on,' was the coun- eel which D'Alembert gave him.' «The difficulties you meet will re- solve themselves as you as you ad- vance. Proceed, and light will dawn, | and shine with increasing clearness on your path.' 'This maxim,' says Arago, ' was my greatest master in mathematics.' Did you ever sit down before the grate and crogs your legs and wonder how it comes hat a dear little toddling youngster, too small to lift a dictionary, can ask questions that would send a college professor to the foot of the cluss? This one by a new beginner is very good * A gentlemén whose name is Foote, 'proposed to have it changed for sanitary reasons, be- cause when he makes his demise, no matter. how deep they may bury him, he will 'still be only a Foote under ground. i One thousand shingles, siys a newspaper paragraph, will cover one hundred square feet of surface. One shingle, by the way, will cover six square inches of bad boy, and if properly applied, will be productive of as much benefit and more noise than fle: ote thousand shingles on one hundred squage feet of surface, Figures won't lie.' Hz Lerr.--The Lewistun Journal bas some lines about a man and a tramp: 8 « Now unto fonder wood-pile go; ' 'Where toil till I return, " And feel how proud a thing ft is A livelihood to ear.' os A saddened look came oe'r the tramp, He seemed like one bereft, - - He stowed away the victuals cold ; He--saw the wood and lett, A careless young bubiness' wan of Bock Following those simple words, kport; N.Y., lost his sweetheart by making & mistake in forwarding presents for Christ- mas. His brother's wife received from him a jewel case and and a note asking Ber to marry him, while the silver. tounted feeding bottle went fo the girk. ; : 'go on, sir, go on,' madé him the first astronomical mathematician of of his age. -------------------- Partridgs are plucky birds. They always die game. What fowl is most like a pan? A coach-in: Chind. t'Thig is the maiden all forlorn;* who often | carriage in J. wished she had ne'er beén born, and turned 0 up her nose in petulant scorn at the girl who |! The Squire shoved his spectacles Tast season's hat bad worn,